Chapter 13

Her lips kept twisting themselves into a displeased pout and the more Crovell kept fussing over Arados, the harder she found it to keep the pout under control. She knew she had nothing to be jealous of, so her feelings here were completely irrational. But there was one place she knew of where the same feelings were not so irrational and it was that which kept them alive here. More so since even the presence of her parents couldn't entice Crovell to come away with her. He was so completely hung up on some kind of irrational guilt that Jo began to wonder whether or not he'd done something himself.

Her visionary powers had become dimmer in the last few months. Ahna and Catilin had both reassured her it was normal in a Silkoneon pregnancy, because the lost energy was going into protecting the unborn child, but that didn't help much; especially as the voices inside her kept twittering on about her being a God. Sighing heavily, she turned to head back to her room. Before she could, however, Crovell caught a tight hold of her wrist.

'Where do you think you're going,' he voice was tight.

'To bed,' she responded with an equal amount of curtness, 'since I'm obviously of no use to anyone here.'

'Oh no,' he shook his head, 'I'm not letting you go anywhere alone.'

'Then come to bed with me,' she blinked sweetly up at him, 'then I wouldn't have to.'

'I can't,' he sighed, 'or at least I can't just yet. Please, just wait a little while longer, I promise we can go to bed then.'

'But I want to go to bed now,' she held firm. 'I'm tired and it's not like there's much more you can do here; Ara's still too shell shocked to tell us what happened.'

'But I want to be here when he's ready to speak. I want to know what happened to him.'

'Why is that so important right now?'

'Because I want to make sure it doesn't happen to you or the others,' his face filled with such an honest look Jo almost felt her heart breaking for it.

'I doubt he'll say anything now till morning,' their father interrupted them. 'You're both better off going to bed now.'

'But…' Crovell tried to protest.

'Your father's right,' her mother sighed, 'and one of us will let you know as soon as he starts saying anything, alright? Just take your sister and gets some rest will you?'

Crovell's expression became painfully hurt. He clearly didn't want to leave his brother right now, although his concern appeared to be over more than just trying to be a good big brother. Taking hold of his hand, Jo carefully managed to pull him out of the room and he reluctantly fell into place beside her.

'It's my fault, isn't it?'

'What,' she couldn't help but shoot him a strange look.

'It's my fault,' he repeated. 'I'm the reason Ara's like that. Its something I did… something I said…'

'No,' she shook her head, 'no of course it isn't. What on Sil would make you think that?'

'I was the last person to see him. I was the last person to talk to him. I was in the kitchen for much longer than he was. What if… what if it was meant for me? What if someone was trying to hurt me?'

'Then they would have had plenty of time to do it before Ara arrived.'

'But what if they didn't? Or what if they hurt him just to hurt me?'

'Wouldn't they have gone after me then?'

'Maybe they'll go after you next,' his face filled with alarm. 'Maybe they're toying with me, trying to make me work out who they are and the longer I take the more people they'll hurt. I need to warn Duke.'

'Duke can take care of himself,' Jo tried to abate him, her whole body surging with painful jealousy as she did. 'He doesn't need you to protect him, but right now I do.'

'But what if thinking like that means they go after him next? I couldn't stand it.'

'But you could stand them coming after me,' her voice broke with hurt. 'Am I really less important to you?'

'No,' he shook his head, 'of course you're not. That's not what I meant. But you have me here to protect you. What does he have right now? None of his family will forgive him for loosing Kasey. He needs me too.'

'Crovell…' she stopped herself.

No matter how tempting it was to try and break his illusion, she knew she couldn't. She knew she'd just keep on pretending SK was Duke, even though it completely ate her up inside. She couldn't stand it. And she couldn't stand how jealous it made her feel.

'Crovell,' she continued carefully, 'you can use the phone in our room to warn him, okay?'

'Okay,' he nodded.

'And then once he's been warned he'll be ready to take care of himself, right?'

'Yeah,' Crovell grinned, 'of course he will, I mean he's got all those powers finally unlocked now, so he'll be able to stand up to whatever it is.'

'And you'll know if he's in trouble, right?'

'Right and then I can go to his aid.'

'Right,' she smiled weakly, wishing she didn't have to be so patronising or at the very least he would realise she was.

'I love you Jo,' he smiled back at her, 'you always know the right things to say.'

'Do you love me more than Duke?'

'It's not a competition Jo; I love you both in different ways. There is no one more than the other.'

'I wish you would love me more than him.'

'Why?'

'Because you're the only one for me and he… he loves Catilin.'

'I know.'

'And… and I sometimes feel like you're only with me because you can't be with him.'

'But it's not like that,' he shook his head. 'There is no me loving one of you more than the other, but I do need you more than I need him.'

'Really?'

'Of course.'

'I wish you'd make it feel that way sometimes.'

'I thought I did,' his forehead furrowed anxiously. 'I'm sorry Jo, I don't mean to make you feel second best, its just… he's more breakable than you are and I couldn't stand anything happening to either of you.'

'I know. I just wish you'd remember I was one of the either every now and then.'

'But I do remember.'

'Really?'

'I love you Jo,' he met and held her gaze, 'I'll always love you.'