CHAPTER THIRTEEN
He woke up with his head pounding and the need to throw up. The nausea and dread that filled him was incomprehensible. Something was wrong. He didn't need to open his eyes to know that. Something was very, very wrong. He wondered if he kept his eyes closed that he could delay the inevitable just a little longer.
The body beside him sighed and drew closer.
His heart continued to drop. This was all wrong.
But he was so afraid to face reality. He didn't even know how it happened. There was a drink involved and then, nothing. What was he going to do? He didn't recall consuming any alcohol.
"Jimmy, are you awake?" she whispered, her breath raising the hair on his base chest.
No. No, he wasn't. This had to be a horrible nightmare.
"Jimmy?"
He wanted to clench his eyes and turn away. He needed desperately to wake up.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back."
It wasn't until the bed shifted and he heard her quietly walking away did he open his eyes and watched motionlessly as the blonde hair swished behind her. He was motionless even when he couldn't see her anymore. He refused to believe that this was real.
"Madi…" The words falling off his tongue broke him out of his suspended state. He had to find her. He had to explain what happened because he knew. He knew she had to have been here at once point.
But what did happen? How did he even end up with Maggie in his bed? What the Hell was he going to do?
Staggering to his feet, he made himself presentable enough to not scare away any children before going on his hunt,. His feet carried him everywhere, but there wasn't a single glimpse of his tiny brunette.
The panic began to settle in when he realised that she wasn't here. It was day and she wasn't in a single tent or trailer. What if she died, again, because of him? What if she was lost and afraid in the woods? What if –
He felt pain hit him like a truck. He tumbled to the side and crashed into the wall of Eve's trailer. Her looming form was partly shrouded in shadows, but he could already see the anger in her eyes.
She knew.
"What have you done?" she growled.
"I… Where's Madi? I need to talk to her, please. I – " He never got to finish what he was saying before he was slammed against the steel shell. The force rattled his bones and amplified the pain in his head.
"What were you doing last night?" The glare she was sending him told him everything. It had all gone wrong and he would gladly be eve's punching bag if it meant turning back time.
She had only just started trusting him and he went and fucked it all up, but he needed her to understand. He didn't know what happened that night. It was so foggy and he had never had a night like that. He hated how much his mother drank, so other than a few sips, he never had anywhere close to being thoroughly inebriated.
He tried his best to explain everything to Eve who – despite the anger that still radiated off her – listened patiently to his story. He knew his words couldn't have meant much after he knew what he had done, but he had hoped that it was enough to have her help him find Madi.
"I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, but I've seen you struggle and I've seen you cry over her. I've seen her done the same. You better make things right with her." He nodded fervently to her condition.
They had wasted enough time and each passing second, he was imagining her crying, frightened face. As they were leaving camp, Desiree had spotted their frantic forms rushing out and intercepted them before they could leave. It didn't take much for her to start rallying the others to help. No one else knew what he had done and he wasn't going to say anything until Madi was found. They didn't need to be distracted from the search.
"Madison!" Eve shouted down the road.
He heard similar cries all around him. He walked down the hill, past the diner, past the garage where he knew work was waiting for him, and threw rows of houses, but he couldn't find her. He even asked the strangers on the streets. Other than the disgusted looks, they gave him nothing.
If only he knew more about her. He never really had the chance of taken the initiative, did he? The moment she was in his arms, he was unable to think. She took away his very ability to be human. He was just a complete mess, but with her. He had been a beautiful mess.
And now, with her gone, he was no better. He was worse. Where she was concerned, blood was always racing through everywhere except his brain.
"Madi!" he called out. For a moment, he thought he saw her, but even as he ran towards the brunette, he knew that it couldn't be. The woman was walking casually in broad daylight. "Madi!"
The woman turned to him in shock. Her wide, brown eyes narrowed when they settled on him, a look of distaste scrunched up her face. "Excuse me?" Her voice was harsh as if he was the lowest of the low and didn't even deserve to be near her.
She was not his Madi. She was nothing like his Madi, but he didn't doubt that that would be how she'd regard him if she was found. When she was found. He refused to believe that this was going to be the last time he saw her. He refused to believe that her last memories of him was going to be his unfaithfulness.
The sun moved too quickly across the sky. Before he knew it, his only source of illumination was the low glow of the moon and the yellow-tinted bulbs of the streetlights.
"Madi?"
There were only a handful of them still searching. The rest had long since given up.
"Madison!"
The voices faded one by one until he was the only one left. He slumped down on to the ground. He didn't have much in this world and even less that he cared about. There was his mother and then… the woman he had in his grasp only to lose her so quickly. What the Hell was wrong with him? Maybe he wasn't meant to have anything good in his life. His mother was dying and his father was blissfully ignoring the fact that he was his son. Did everyone think he was stupid? The moment Dell Toledo arrived, he made sure to know who he was. It was the only way to keep his family safe.
Dell may look normal, but every other male in his family was cursed. They were cursed like him, with those horrible lobster claws.
Jimmy glared at his hands, wondering how everything had gone so wrong so quickly. One moment, he was floating on a cloud, feeling as if his life was finally looking up. The next, he was back in the shit hole.
But there wasn't anyone to blame. He should've known better. The drink must've been spiked. Maybe it was a joke. Maybe it was on purpose. He couldn't even remember who had given it to him. All he knew was that he had fucked everything up and now, his Madi was gone. He didn't even know if she was okay.
"Jimmy…?"
He looked up and saw a lithe figure through blurry vision. He was so tired. His head hurt. All he wanted was to take the brunette in his arms and never let go. Wasn't that what he promised her?
"Come on. Let's go back." He allowed her to lead him back to where everyone was congregated. The air was somber as no one could find her. He noted how the twins were also missing. Where had they gone? No, he shouldn't know. It was probably best that they left before he hurt them, too. That was all he was good for…
He plopped down heavily on to the log beside Eve who gave him a sympathetic look. When her gaze fell on Maggie, they hardened. The blonde shifted her eyes away, but refused to leave. She sat beside him and put a hand o his knee.
It wasn't her fault, but her very presence made him feel nauseated all over again. He needed to make things right. He just didn't know how. There was a giant piece of him missing somewhere – perhaps even dead. What was anyone supposed to do?
"Maybe she didn't' like it here," Maggie told him. Her tone was meant to comfort, but her words had the opposite effect.
"I'm sure there would only be one reason why she didn't like I there," Eve replied, bitingly. 'Did you have fun, last night?"
"I don't know how any of that is your business." Maggie glared back. Her hand on his knee tightened. "Jimmy is a grown man. He knows what he wants – who he wants- and what makes him happy. He doesn't need you to hover over him."
"Does he look happy to you? You seem to have a very twisted definition of happiness. Why would you do this to them when everyone knows how much he loves her?"
Their bickering was making his headache worse.
"Clearly, he went to me for a reason. He would I know why? Maybe she couldn't satis – "
"SHUT UP!" he shouted.
Everyone fell silent.
"Just… shut up. I can't…" He couldn't do this. He was having difficulty believing that any of this was even real.
He quickly stormed away, ignoring the concerned looks. They didn't understand. It was all his fault that she was gone and he was sure that everyone would know when morning came.
…
The days passed at a snail's pace. He couldn't focus on anything. This was just like when she had died in front of him the first time. This helplessness was disarming and he was afraid that he was really never going to find her again, this time.
As expected, both his mother and Elsa scolded him for his lack of effort during both practice and shows, but it was too difficult to care. Their voices came and went. He knew the gist of what they said to him, but none of their words mattered.
"I don't see you that upset over the twins." Elsa rolled her eyes. 'Have you even thought of them once since they left?"
He was actually startled to heat that. He didn't know that they were still missing. "Where did they go?"
She rolled her eyes. "You really haven't been listening to a word I've said, have you? I told you that if that girl distracted you from your work – "
"Well, she's not here anymore," he remarked with gritted teeth.
"Yes, and you're still not listening, but I'm sure they're all in a better place," she told him, shooting a ring of smoke into the stuffy tent.
"Where did they go?" he asked. His curiosity peeking out. Could Madi have gone with them?
"Somewhere." She shrugged. 'You left a trail of broken hearts behind, you know?"
So they also left because of him. It was always his fault, wasn't it? He never meant to hurt anyone, but his life only seemed to know one trajectory, and it was utter chaos.
…
What he didn't know was that Elsa knew exactly where they were. Of course, she had been notified. She knew everything that went on in her Cabinet of Curiosities. It was really no big loss for her. She even got a hefty sum for them, something that she wouldn't have gotten on the first night. No one could ever say that she wasn't an intelligent woman who knew exactly how to do business.
The desperation and elation of the spoiled brat was pathetic. Why anyone would pay that much for them, she would never understand, but her pocket was heavier and she had less mouths to feed.
Life was good.
…
Eventually, he found out where the twins had gone and it left his blood running cold. No one understood why he was so against the Motts, except Maggie, but she remained silent as he threw his legs over his motorcycle and raced to the biggest estate in town.
The Mott household was as obnoxiously big as he imagined. Everything about it screamed rich brat and he was looking forward to venting his anger out on that pretty face. After everything that psycho did to him… After everything he had done to his Madi…
He was going to kill the bastard!
Jimmy stormed through the lawn and banged on the door. The sound echoed in his head as he continued to imagine all the things he was going to make the Dandy Mott pay.
The door clicked and swung open to reveal his arrogant smug.
"Where are they?" Jimmy snarled, pushing his way into the mansion.
Dandy provided no resistance. . He merely smirked back. "I don't know what you're talking about, but if you don't leave, I'll call the police."
"Do that and I'll tell you how you were involved in all the kidnappings!" He was seeing red.
"Do you really think they'll believe you or me?" Jimmy didn't want to admit it, but he was right. Everyone knew how corrupt the police were. The rich would get a little slap on the wrist if even that. Usually, someone else would get the blame. "Why don't you go back to your Freak Show. I don't need you guys anymore. I've realised what I can really do."
There was a malicious glint in the other man's eyes that made Jimmy hesitate, but he couldn't stop here, now. He had come so far with all the pent up emotions. Something had to give.
"Let me see them. I know they're here!" he continued, holding on to the hope that he'd be able to save someone.
Dandy let out a dramatic sigh. "Alright. If that's what you really want. It's not as if I kidnapped them. They came willingly after realising how much more I can give them. Unlike you, I'm perfect and people can tell the difference."
He was led down long halls until Dandy pushed open an ornate door to reveal the twins sitting on the bed in a quiet conversation. They looked over at him with surprise clearly on their faces.
"Jimmy! What are you doing here?" Dot asked.
"I'm here to take you back," he replied. "You're not safe here. This bastard nearly killed Maggie!"
Dot rolled her eyes at him before glancing briefly to her sister in a silent discussion. He wished that he knew what they were talking about. Maybe that would help him convince them to leave this crazy house.
"We're not leaving, Jimmy," Dot firmly told him.
Bette giggled. "She doesn't want to speak to you, anymore."
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Were they really choosing this false life over a real family?
"Please, leave. We don't ever want to see you, again." For a moment, her eyes slid towards the window, but he was too angry to care.
This trip had been a mistake. He had found the sisters, but neither of them would listen to reason. If everyone wanted to leave him, then so be it. He was sick and tired of chasing after an unreachable goal. He was never going to find his happy ending!
…
"JIMMY!"
AUTHOR'S NOTE
Review counts dropped quite a bit, so I'm hoping some angst would drive it back up. MUAHAHA! Well, that is only half true. I had this part planned already, but much earlier without the fluff from the past two chapters. I am hoping that this would bring about more reviews, though. I'm not sure exactly why it's dropped by half recently.
If it's not up to par, feel free to tell me what I can do to improve.
Otherwise, thank you Cosmo39, Idiaz054, Applejax XD, guests (anonymouscsifan, AuroraSeven) for reviewing!
Cosmo39: Oops! I hope you haven't lost any sleep over it!
anonymouscsifan: There was definitely more to what she saw! Too bad it's still pretty bad. Jimmy's not going to have a very good time… Neither is Madi. Don't hate me!
Idiaz054: Fluff has ended! Hope you like the rollercoaster ride!
Applejax XD: Yeah… He could've really had a stable job at the garage… Just like some other guy Madi knew. Too bad that didn't work out either…
AuroraSeven: Elsa's horrible, but not horrible enough for everyone to abandon her. She knows her game. I really can't imagine anyone agreeing to Madi being part of the performance, except a certain few I guess. I loved Paul in the show! I'm hoping to include him more in the future, but who knows where that'll run…
Thank you to everyone who has favourited and followed this story!
Please leave a review if you enjoyed the chapter! Or how I could improve this story.