So this the epilogue and thank you to all who've read this story. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.

Epilogue

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Things might've changed since the day my parents confronted me. I got professional help and I've been counselling for the past few months. I never was really addicted to the drugs and alcohol; only the escape it gave me. Anyone could say I'm getting better and starting to be me again.

Too bad I didn't feel that way. I was merely a shell of who I used to be, trying to refill my old self. It wasn't working. People treated me like glass after returning from school when I left for help. I just tried to stay away from any human contact.

Alli insisted though, even after how I treated her. It was a surprise to say the least that she still cared… that anyone did. We talked over everything and decided we would take it slow. I honestly didn't want any friends but I would always love Alli.

However, I still had my times to myself during school. I went to the bleachers every lunch and just gave myself some time to think. Which I was doing at the moment because I couldn't handle another second being gawked at down the halls.

I sighed heavily and stuffed my hands in my hoodies' pocket, and smoothed my hands over my stomach, feeling slightly weird that I didn't have a piercing anymore. I looked across the muggy field, grimacing at how dark and dank the weather was today. I always hated when the weather was crappy.

"Didn't think this was the type of weather one would glorify in," a familiar voice called out.

Eli walked up the steps before taking a seat beside me but I still looked straight ahead. We haven't spoken to each other since the day we broke up but I missed him terribly everyday.

"What are you doing out here?" I asked.

I finally looked at him and he stuffed his hands in his pockets, an expressionless look on his face.

"I think it's time we have a talk." He gave me a small smirk. "I want to know how things are."

He must've knew. The whole school knew former Saint Clare left the school for being a slut mixed with drugs and alcohol. I was surprised he wanted to know how I was doing. After everything… I would think he hated me.

"I'm getting better. At least for my health. I haven't done anything in months," I explained, feeling tired and cold.

"How did your parents take it?"

"They both have been there, helping me get through this. My mom won't speak to me though." I closed my eyes painfully. "She hasn't spoken to me in months."

She wouldn't even look at me. She helped me get the help I needed and her and dad haven't gotten a divorce yet for my sake but she wouldn't speak to me face-to-face. I tried to talk to her but she would just leave the room and hide away for the night. It killed me but I just had to wait, I guess. Dad said she would come around. I doubted it.

"I'm sorry, Clare," he said sincerely.

"I'm the one who screwed up. I was just trying to forget about everything. I never thought I would lose myself like this." Tears began to roll down my cheeks and I wiped them away angrily.

"Have you talked to Bianca?"

I shook my head. Not since that day at the ravine. Every time her name was mentioned or if she slipped my mind, an uncomfortable chill would shudder through me. Bianca was the root for things to spiral out of control for me, but I hated how we left things off. I did like her as a friend, in a twisted sort of way.

"I don't think I'll be speaking to her again," I choked.

"It's probably for the best," Eli breathed remorsefully.

I knew he didn't like Bianca and what she did to me but he was always gentle for the benefit of my feelings. It was time for me to give in return to him.

"Eli," I began and he looked at me expectantly. "I've done a lot of things. Terrible things that I never thought I was capable of, but you are the one thing I don't regret happening."

We've done things I swore to God I would never do before marriage, but I was glad I experienced these moments with him. He treated me with respect and actually cared about me. I just hoped he understood that.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he smiled. "Cause I don't regret it either."

He pulled me into a hug and I clung onto him, feeling a small piece of stability after all these months. I rested my head on his shoulder and he just held me for what felt like hours.

RING!

We pulled apart and I stood up, wobbling slightly from my stiff muscles. Eli caught me before I could fall and helped me down the steps.

"You don't have to stay with me," I told him when he started to walk with me towards the school.

"It's fine, we're both going the same direction anyways," he chuckled.

I gave a small smile and saw students walking into the school. A familiar figure with dark curls headed towards the steps and a sense of déjà vu flooded through me. She looked as fierce and beautiful as ever, just like she did everyday. But memories of her mom flash through my mind and I felt sympathetic that she still had to go through the same thing everyday. I'll always admire how strong she was.

As if she sensed my staring, her chocolate eyes flickered to mine and I froze. I expected a glare of disgust or maybe a murmur of curse words but instead… a smile. She nodded her head as a greeting and I smiled in return before she ascended up the stairs.

Maybe we went through maybe messed up things together and maybe we weren't friends, but we had an understanding. We both changed each other's lives and I don't think either of us will forget that.

I know I won't.