AN: Hurricanehairandemeraldeyes, your review literally made my day because I always worry my writing is shit :P and for finding me on tumblr and writing, in caps lock, your excitement made my whole fucking month. I love you guys! Sophiacassiethalia I've never met a person so beautiful in my life with such lovely words. To answer your question on the name, Miraphora Mina is the name of the graphic deisgn that worked on all of the films which is why she's into art, the graphic designer was placed as a ministry worker in the Runes Department, hence...Plus I think it's just such a cool name that deserved to have a mention. Armadillo is spot on, mate.
I might, if anyone is interested, explain myself more with why my characters are called what they are and why some known characters are missing in a tumblr post. If anyone is keen, just message me on my tumblr (madicon). Message me anyway. I'd love for a more connected relationship with you beautiful readers.
I'm sorry about last post being sad Jily times but it's gonna get fixed in this post, trust me.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is our Momma bird
Chapter 13 - 'It's the hardest thing to say in the world,' - The Maine
(Breakfast, the next morning)
She walked into the Great Hall feeling isolated and alone. She knew, for she had been late waking up, that she would have to eat by herself. Her girl friends wouldn't know about the argument she'd had with Potter. They'd be sitting with him, expecting her to go over. Lily couldn't though. She didn't even think she could look at him without feeling...without feeling the huge empty pit that had succumbed her heart.
The Great Hall was incredibly quiet. The only table that had a nearly full capacity was Slytherin. No one on Hufflepuff was up. Ravenclaw's were dotted about and so were Gryffindor. However there was a large group on Gryffindor's bench. The Quidditch team. Potter.
Lily tried not to look at the group, Marlene and Mary were sitting with them, so decided to sit down nearest the door, the furthest away from them. She heard one of them shout her name but she didn't react. She just kept on eating her porridge.
"Why aren't you sitting over there?" Emmeline asked as she moved up the table, for she had already started her breakfast.
"You can sit with Boot. Mary knows now." Lily replied, avoiding the question.
"Do you hate me as well?"
"No. I don't think Marlene does either."
Vance nodded. "Do you know what Mary is most angry about?"
"I think it's more that you didn't tell her any of it, but it didn't help that it was Boot." Lily mumbled and then slammed her spoon down. "For Merlin sake, Em, there are hundreds of guys at Hogwarts and you choose the one Mary's liked for years. Why?"
"I...I...I don't know. It just...I didn't mean for it to happen."
"When you've figured out all the reasons why, you should tell Mary."
"Do you think it would help?"
Evans nodded.
"So, tell me." Emmy said, looking over her glasses. "Why are you not with them lot?"
"Me and Potter—"
"What did you—"
"Me?"
"Yeah. Whenever you two fall out, its because you've had an issue with him."
"That's because he's always a git."
"Shh. They are moving." Emmeline hushed. The Quidditch team, who all looked exceptionally tired and grumpy, were walking passed them in a solid unit. It was their time to begin Sunday training.
"Like I care." Lily commented, loudly. "Potter can hear it all."
Marlene stopped behind Vance. Mary continued to walk ahead. "Are you guys gonna come and watch?"
They both shook their heads.
"Some other time." Lily smiled.
"I'll...er...catch up with you later, then." McKinnon said before leaving, looking a little dejected.
After some time, Emmeline went back to question Lily. "So, what has he done to piss you off?"
Evans fabricated the story a little. She didn't include the couch sleeping part because Lily couldn't deal with that getting out, even to Emmy. Vance brow furrowed, with concentration. It was clear there was something she didn't believe.
"I don't think James would do something like that." Emmy stated, halfway through her story.
"What?" The redhead was shocked and confused. "Why not?"
"He'd never do that to his friends, especially to you—"
"What does this 'especially to me' bullshit mean?"
"He doesn't lie."
"Fuck off! Potter lies all the damn time."
"You lie."
Lily's hesitation made the point. She did lie. Everyone did. Her mind began to whirl as she replayed back last night. James' lying tell was the twitch of his neck. He didn't do that last night. Sometimes he'd have a slight trace of a smirk. That wasn't there last night.
"He's never been the person you've made him up to be, Lily." Emmeline looked at her seriously. "Who told you about the empty bottle?"
"Harriet."
"Harriet Green?"
"There's only one Harriet in the whole of Hogwarts."
"Yeah, I know, it's just... she's in the Hospital Wing."
Evans gasped. "What?!"
"Walters found her on the steps, outside the Common Room, having a seizure or something." Emmy explained. "And she came rushing up to our dorm to get Cressida."
"Oh my Merlin. Does anyone know what's happened?"
She shook her head.
"We've got to go see her." Lily stated as she got up from her seat.
The two of them didn't converse as they briskly walked to the Hospital Wing. Lily was too busy thinking about what everything meant and, then, began to worry because she wasn't concerned about Harriet at all. She only cared for the truth but it made her feel heartless and selfish.
Evans barged into the Hospital Wing to see McGonagall, Slughorn and Dumbledore there too. They were crowded around Harriet's bed. Dumbledore turned to face her and was about to say something when Cressida flew around the closed curtain.
"Lily!" She cried and hugged her. Lily could just see Harriet passed Fleming's hair. She looked ghostly but peaceful. "Thank Merlin you're here."
"Miss Evans, we were just about to call for you." Dumbledore said, looking over the top of his half moon glasses. His brilliant blue eyes pierced her soul.
"Me?"
"It appears that you were the last person to talk to Miss Green before she fell ill."
"I didn't do anything to hurt her, sir."
The Headteacher smiled. "I had no suspicion you did, but, seeing as Miss Green is currently asleep, we don't know what happened."
"So you want me to help piece things together?"
He nodded.
"Erm... Sirius had a small birthday party in the Gryffindor Common Room and we'd dressed up because...Halloween." She began to lie. Her skin began to feel clammy. "Cress hadn't been well all day so went to bed early and we all thought Harriet had gone with her. But she...er...had gone out of the Gryffindor tower. When she came back in, I went over to talk to her and she gave me—"
"She gave you something?" McGonagall interrupted.
Lily reached into her jean pocket and, carefully, produced the clear vial. She didn't want the crumpled up note to be seen.
"Did you drink this?" Her Head of House asked. McGonagall took the bottle and passed it over to Slughorn.
"No, it was empty when she gave it to me."
"Horace, what do you think?" Dumbledore questioned the Potions master.
"The purple liquid would indicate the Sleeping Draught." Slughorn responded, methodically. He uncorked the bottle and smelt. His nosed wrinkled. "But there are traces of Amortentia too."
"Sir, why would someone put those together?" Emmeline asked. Lily had an idea but hoped she was wrong.
The Potions Master was too busy placing a magical parchment into the bottle. It's edge caught the purple drop and a bright spark of white light emitted. Slughorn's face became remorseful. "Miss Vance, they did it to hide the poison."
Evans' heart sank. Why would anyone poison Harriet? She's never done anything to anyone.
"Do you know what poison?" Madame Pomfrey enquired. She was poised ready to rush off to her medicine cabinets.
"Unfortunately, not. If there had been a bigger sample I could of pinpointed the—"
"A bezoar should work fine." McGonagall interrupted, who had sat Cressida down - she was crying. The nurse fled as quick as she could to her office in such of the ingredient.
"Yes, yes." Slughorn nodded.
"Horace," Dumbledore began. "Check your potions cupboards for any missing ingredients and make sure all the bezoar's we have in the castle are locked away. Minerva, ask the paintings if they saw Harriet last night—"
Flemings tears turned into fitful sobs.
"Sir, what do you think has happened?" Lily asked.
"The Harriet you spoke to last night wasn't herself."
"Do you mean—"
"Certainly, Miss Evans. It would appear someone used the Imperius Curse last night to poison her but why would they make her show you the empty bottle?"
(The Distracted Goalie)
James looked at his team. They looked awful. It hadn't been clear at breakfast but, now that everyone was out in the opening, their hangovers or lack of sleep was beginning to show. Even James could feel a pounding headache, behind his eyes, coming.
"I think I need to go to the Hospital Wing." Sirius moaned after being sick all over Marlene, who was keeping him upright.
"Fuck sake, Black." She scowled.
James got out his wand and cleared the mess up. "No one is going anywhere. You all knew we were having a training session today."
"But, Cap—" Digory grumbled.
"We have the first Quidditch game of the year next Sunday. If you haven't managed to work that out yet, we have seven days - a week - to get our act together." Potter barked. "Our next practice isn't until Thursday so we cannot waste this time. We can't not have a goalkeeper, nor can we lose a beater."
"I think I'm gonna throw up again." Sirius belched.
"Oh Merlin, if he's gonna be sick again, so am I." Dearborn ewwwed.
"For crying out loud." James snapped. "Is there anyone else here who is so stupidly hungover that they think they are seeing the fucking curvature of the Earth?"
Everyone shook their heads cowardly.
"Good. Black, you're benched."
"But, you just said—"
"I know what I said!" He ran his hand through his hair. "I'll play goalkeeper. Alright?"
They nodded.
"Good. McKinnon's taking the warm up."
Marlene asked. "Where are you going?"
"To look after this sod." Potter replied as he took the other side of Sirius. She unlinked herself from him and nodded before riding off into the air. James readjusted his position, for Black had completely put all his weight onto his best friend, before walking toward the stands. Remus and Peter were there, sitting on the grass, unaware of what was happening. "You're a git, do you know that?"
"Yeah you've told me before."
"If we lose to Hufflepuff—"
"We aren't." Padfoot mumbled. "Gryffindor haven't lost to them since we've been on the team."
Sirius knew James knew the facts. He also knew that Prongs was worried about his last year as captain being one full of disasters and failure. None of the team wanted to fail. None of them had told James this, though. But maybe they couldn't see the cracks starting to show like Sirius could.
"Oh Merlin, what's happened?" Remus enquired, worryingly, as he stood up and rushed over to the two of them. He took the other side of Sirius to relieve some of the weight. Peter followed suit by bringing a bag-turned-bucket.
"The worst hangover in the world." Sirius grumbled. "Look after me, Moons."
Lupin chuckled. "I think you're still drunk."
"Pads, do you want me to go get the hangover cure from our room?" Peter asked.
"Yes." Black nodded. Carefully, they helped him down onto the grass. "Get the quadruple strength one."
"Just get the normal one." Remus corrected, placing a blanket over his friends shoulders.
"Hey, you don't know how I feel."
"I know that you're a drama queen and overreact."
Sirius pouted. "Will you still look after me though?"
James rolled his eyes and walked back over to his broom. He looked up to see his team zooming around the pitch. They weren't in the spirit of it. Not even the reserves, who were usual full of energy and wanting to show off.
Potter unlatched the Quidditch crate to let the snitch and the two bludgers free. "King." He yelled at the nearest chaser. Richard King had thankfully heard and flew down to hover in front of him. "You're the leader today. Make sure Robins stays in the formations. Oh, and, don't go easy on me."
"Wouldn't dream of it, Boss." Kingy winked as he took the quaffle from Potter and whizzed away again. James quickly followed but in the direction of goal.
The absolute worst position, in James' eyes, was goalkeeper. He could never understand why Sirius liked playing the position. You were isolate, you never moved very far, you weren't part of the chase. Yes, of course, the goalkeeper plays a very vital part to play but James would rather be in the action of it all than trying to keep three rings safe.
Swoosh. James dodged the bludger Thwack. It hit the goal posts. Swoosh. He had to dodge it again.
"Watch where you are hitting that, McKinnon!" Potter shouted at her.
"Why do you think it was me?" She yelled back. "You should check out who's sitting with your friends. It could be her."
The unmistakable red hair of Lily Evans dotted the green grass. She looked like she was arguing with Sirius. "Did you invite her?" He called but Marlene had already left.
What was she doing there? Was she taunting him? She was a ghost in his heart, one that fluttered in and out without a care in the world, haunting him.
What do you want, Lily Evans?
James shook his head, trying to forget she was there, and focused on his team. The two seekers were looking great, weaving in and out of the stands with ease, and the beaters were practicing hitting the bludger's to a target. The chasers, on the other hand, were in pieces. King wasn't keeping tracks of his team for Robins wasn't near enough the others to pass the ball nor was he fast enough and Dearborn was asleep for a good five minutes before he'd realised.
In a space of half an hour, even though it felt longer, the quaffle hadn't been shot through any of the goal posts. And James, being his impatient self, left the goalposts. "What are you guys doing?" He asked, commandingly. "None of you have got anywhere near the level we need to be at. What if Hufflepuff saw us and got confident?"
"Do we not want them to be confident?" Awen Robins asked, unsure.
"Of course not. We want them to know we are gonna crush them."
"We will." Dearborn yawned.
He would have responding but something caught his eye. "Abbie, move." He said, urgently. Quick, he pushed the back of her broom down to get her out of the way but he wasn't fast enough for himself. The bludger hit his arm, the one holding the broom, causing him to lose balance and fall off.
The wind rushed into his ears as he tumbled towards the ground. The shifting sensation of seeing grass and sky increased his fear of what was to come. He didn't know how he was going to hit the ground. He didn't know how injured he'd be. All he knew was the imminent pain that lay waiting for him.
Suddenly, everything stopped.
There wasn't pain. There was warmth. There was a girl looking down at him. She was close. Her concerned, upset face was haloed by the morning sun and her red hair fall over him like a blanket. With all his strength, he reached up, with his good hand, to brush a few strands behind her ear. He wanted to see her face properly.
"James, are you okay?" Lily muttered as she leant into his hand, with closed eyes.
"I am now." He smiled before the world turned black.
(Hospital Interrogation)
"Where have you been?" Sirius grumbled. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed next to James, who was asleep and had his arm wrapped in a white cast, that was already full of scribbles.
Lily felt intimated by the way he was acting. His tone, his body language and attitude amplified her guilt.
"I went to get food." She said and proceeded to produce trays upon trays of anything she could grab from the Gryffindor table from her bag. Lily hadn't seen the Marauders at lunch, with the Quidditch team.
"Nice one, Evans." Peter laughed and took a sandwich plate from her.
He tucked into his late lunch like starved dogs. It was messy and, quite frankly, barbaric. Remus was a little bit more dignified. However there was one person who wasn't touching any of the food.
"Aren't you gonna have anything, Padfoot?" Lupin asked Sirius.
"No, I don't trust it."
"I've just got it from the Great Hall." Lily stated.
"So? That's still plenty of time for you to poison it all."
"Don't be silly." Peter laughed, nervously. "Lily would never—"
"Exactly." He interrupted. "She'd never do something like that but that doesn't mean we should trust her. She is good at Potions—"
"I came down to the Quidditch pitch the second I knew I was wrong." Lily argued.
"You only realised it because Harriet is in here. If she wasn't, how long would you have gone on accusing him? Days? Weeks? Months?"
"Padfoot, you've made your point." Remus muttered, defiantly. "She came down to the pitch to apologise to him. Lily made a mistake—"
"A fucking massive one, Mooney."
"If she hadn't been there, Prongs would be in a worser state."
But Black wasn't listening. He needed to know something and was determined to get it out of her. "I just don't get you, Evans, why would you think he'd do something like that?"
"I'd drank too much alcohol—" She began to reply.
"Ergh! Try again."
"Harriet—"
"Ergh! Don't blame others."
"Give me a bloody chance!" She snapped and then sighed. "He passed me a glass of water and I slept well—"
Sirius smirked, with a nod. "Yeah, you did."
"You are disgusting." Lily shook her head and, finally, felt invited to sit down on an empty chair. "Nothing like that happened."
"Sure, sure, because we've all just 'slept' on a couch with a beautiful girl."
"Has Potter told you otherwise?"
"No." Black pouted. "Pass us a sandwich, then, Love?"
"Merlin's beard, they are literally in front of you." She huffed but passed a few to him anyway. "Are you feeling any better?"
"If he's eating, he's better." Remus smirked.
"Did you have a good night, last night?"
"Aren't you gonna ask me that?" Sirius gasped.
"No. I know you had a good time."
Black winked, taking a bite of his food.
Remus shook his head and replied to the question he'd been asked. Apparently after Dippet showed up, Sirius was difficult to talk to so Lupin found his other friends. Kingsley, people he'd sit by in class or those he didn't know. It became apparent that the more solitary Marauder was more popular, in the sense of knowing more people, than James and Sirius. Which was a surprise to the latter one.
"Who are all these people, Mooney?" Black scowled. "Have you been living a double life?"
"We only have five lessons together."
"So those extra two subject you take, like a big nerd—"
"Did you have fun, Pete?" Lily asked the third Marauder before things got ugly.
Sirius laughed, insensitively. "The bloody idiot got too drunk and had to go back to the tower."
"What time?"
"Er," Pettigrew hummed. "Pretty early on. Like ten-ish."
"Did you have the map?"
"I was too busy with my head in the toilet bowl to look at it...I thought Prongs had it."
"I thought you had it." Remus nodded towards Sirius.
"No, no, you had it Moons."
Lily sighed. "So none of you had it then?"
"Why do you care about it?"
"Maybe one of you could of seen who attacked Harriet."
"Attack?" Remus questioned.
"Didn't I tell you down on the pitch?"
"No, Padfoot didn't give you much of a chance to explain."
"Hey, I was pissed off at her." Sirius defended himself.
Evans reiterated what Dumbledore had theorised earlier. When she mentioned one of the Unforgiveable Curses, each Marauder reacted differently. Sirius clenched his fists as he became furious, Remus' jaw clenched but his eyes were fixed on hearing the whole story and Peter seemed to cower backwards into his chair, hoping the shadow behind him would take him away. Lily did notice his shiftiness and uneasiness but she just put it down to his character.
"Did Slughorn say how long she'd be like this or what the side effects would be?" Remus asked with a tone of worry and concern.
"I should of realised last night that that amount of sleeping draught would have been too much." Lily mumbled. "If she drank it all, she's going to be asleep for a few days, the Amortentia shouldn't work with the little amount used and we don't know what the poison was or how long it was in her system, so I don't know how she's going to be."
"I'm gonna kill him." Sirius barked.
Lily stood up and blocked his path. "Calm down, we don't know all the answers."
"Stop defending him, Evans. For Merlin's sake, he's good at potions, he has an Amortentia—"
"But the only people who knew about me and Potter sleeping on the couch is you guys, Harriet and Cressida. How would Severus have known?"
"So you think one of us tricked you into hated Prongs?!"
"That's not what I said."
"Then who could it be, Love? Slytherin is behind this, you watch."
"How would they have found out though?"
"Legilimency." Remus sighed and stood up as well. Peter followed for he didn't want to be the last one out.
"Yes, Mooney." Sirius cheered and pushed passed Evans to join his fellow Marauders.
"Where do you think you're going?"
But they didn't respond.
"Are you coming back?"
Again, no response as they left the Hospital Wing.
Lily had a bad feeling about this.
(Listening behind closed eyes)
Scratch. Scratch.
A long, weighted pause.
Scratch. Scratch. "Expecto Patronum." Lily whispered, softly. Scratch.
James felt the comfortable blanket of sleeping draught lift away and the immense pain of his left side replaced the calm, coolness of before. He tried to move his left arm but it felt dead and heavy. So did his eye lids.
"Expecto Patronum." He heard her mumbled once more, followed on by her writing something down. Her quill had a distinctive sound - it was always rushed and broken, for she never replaced them quick enough. "Damn it! Expecto Patronum!"
A flick of a page, more notes scribbled down. What was she doing?
Again, he tried to open his eyes and, with a little bit of luck, he was able to this time. The Hospital Wing was illuminated by the many candles it lit during the evening but, without his glasses, everything else was in a blurred haze. It gave him more of a headache. But he wasn't going to let that stop him from looking at her.
At first, she wasn't anywhere in sight. James panicked that his medicated mind had hallucinated her: it wouldn't have been the first time. As he was about to give in and admit his delusion, her red hair bobbed up from the right of him. Lily was sitting on the floor. What was she doing?
Potter tried to move but the pain hurt too much. It hurt too much to breath. He closed his eyes for a split second.
"Lily!" Slughorn exclaimed. James continued to keep his eyes closed because he'd rather pretend to be asleep than have to talk to the Potions Master. "I came as soon as I heard."
"Professor, I..." Lily stuttered. There was a rustling of papers as she stood up. "What about your party?"
"I wanted to see—"
"I'm not coming tonight, sir." She interrupted. "It's best for me to stay with James."
A side of him wanted to tell her she didn't have to, that she could go to the Slug Club meeting, but his heart wanted her there. It was selfish of him to want that but he was yearning to see her, to talk to her, to tease her, to hold her. In his mind, he'd already forgiven her because she was there waiting for him. Lily was there by his side like always.
James could hear the disappointment in Slughorn's voice. "That's understandable. Is Mr Potter alright?"
"Erm, he hasn't woken up yet so I don't know."
"Yes, yes, it's best that he sleeps."
"Do you have any more news on Harriet, sir?"
"What? Oh, your Gryffindor friend. No, unfortunately I don't, Lily, but the bezoar would have worked perfectly. We just need patience." Slughorn's voice sounded insincere. There was a long pause. It was clear the Potions teacher didn't want to leave his favourite student. "What are you working on? Anything I can help with."
"It's predominately charms, sir."
"And I see Quidditch books too." He said with a slight tone of hinting.
Lily picked that up, too. "You know Quidditch?"
"Why, of course I do, Lily. I get season tickets every year from my students. Unfortunately haven't got the whole set yet, still missing out on Holyhead Harpies—"
"Can I ask you questions on Quidditch then, sir?"
"What would you like to know?"
James could hear the two of them move away from him. Where were they going? Why did they need to move? It didn't sound like they'd left the wing but they were far enough away for their whispers to be inaudible.
With one last attempt, James rolled himself over to look at what she was doing. It hurt like Hell but he got there. Lily had made a clear circle around herself of opened books and scraps of parchment scrawled with her notes. Without his glasses it was hard to tell exactly what they were but he could make out a drawing of an arm, various diagrams of Quidditch plays, the familiar markings of Mrs Evans handwriting and the words 'Happy Memory?' written in huge letters.
What was she doing?
Potter rolled back over, gasping for breath, as Evans and Slughorn walked back over to him. He closed his eyes once more.
"I do wish you'd be at my little get together, Lily." The Potions Master mumbled.
"I'm sorry, sir. Wouldn't it be better if we had afternoon tea one of the days this week instead?" She propositioned.
Slughorn seemed pleased, if not ecstatic. "Wonderful! How about lunch on Wednesday, after out Potions lesson? We can discuss your Herbology project in full and about the Christmas party. I'd love for you to go over the list."
"Sounds great, sir."
"Have a good evening, Lily." Slughorn farewelled.
"You too...sir." She sighed, heavily, and walked back over to her circle. This time she'd pulled up a chair to continue her work.
James opened his eyes and looked at her. She was none the wiser to his gaze for she was too succumbed by reading. Slowly, he moved his right hand and gently brushed some of her hair behind her ear. He felt her lean into his hand, just like she did earlier. It helped to soothe his pain.
Her hypnotic, green eyes looked up at him...
(Brothers)
He rested against a corner stone. A lit cigarette, perched on his lips, awaiting his needs.
"I thought you'd quit." His brother said, the other side of the corner. Sirius had been waiting for him to arrive.
"You know how I get about family."
The two brothers were close once. When Sirius had been placed into Gryffindor House, to the horror of his parents, Regulus had bought them matching, magically connected notebooks. They used to communicate through them, mainly for Sirius to know whether his parents were in the house or not. (Not that it matter, Kreacher always told them). Yet when he left for the Potter's, something changed between them. They hardly wrote to each other, and if they did, it was for help, for information.
They always met at the same corner, by the courtyard, in the evening. Neither said hello or goodbye. Neither of them looked at each other. It was an unwritten rule they followed.
"How are your parents?" Sirius asked, spitefully. He threw the remainder of his cigarette on the floor.
"The same."
Concern filled his mind. "Are they treating you well?"
"Yes."
"Would you tell me otherwise?"
Regulus replied, honestly. "No."
Sirius sighed and pulled out another cigarette, trying not think about what his parents have done to his brother. "I assume you didn't read my message."
"If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here."
"Where's Snape then?" The Marauders had found Snape, easily. The map helped them with that. There was just one problem. He stayed in the Slytherin Common Room all day. "I need to speak to him."
"Why?" Regulus asked, aggressively. He heard him move, slightly. "So you can—"
"Why you getting worked up, Reg? Trying to hide something?"
"You are insinuating that one of my friends, one of my House, has hurt one of yours-"
"It wouldn't be the first time."
"And it wouldn't be the first time for you to have hurt one of mine either."
"There is a difference between a hex and the Imperius Curse, Reg. You should know that." Sirius commented, inhaling a puff of his cigarette. He turned towards his brother, hoping to see a hair, a nose, his shoe from around the corner. "Mother was never one to hide it from you."
"She asks about you. Sometimes."
Sirius didn't want to talk about his parents. He didn't want to think about them. He'd left them in the past and that's where he wants to keep them. The eldest brother stood up from his slouched position, tapped his cigarette and spoke. "Tell Snape I want to talk to him."
"There were plenty of people who went to your party—"
"None of them—"
"You need someone who has hold of a sleeping draught, an Amortentia—"
Sirius turned the corner and looked at his brother. "How do you know this?"
"Slughorn. He was talking about it at his party because Evans didn't show up." Regulus replied. With every time they met, he looked worse. Thinner, paler, tireder. A grin, that would be found on Sirius' face when he could stir things up, spread across the younger brothers face. "Didn't your friend, Pettigrew, leave early?"
"Watch it—"
"Check your room, Sirius. You might find things have gone missing."
"You're lying."
"Why would I lie? Do you not trust my word, anymore?"
The Gryffindor shook his head. "You are too loyal to Slytherin and the Blacks to be trustworthy."
"And you are to that scrawny prick, and his mudblood girl—"
Sirius had raised his arm, ready to hit his brother. Mudblood. A word his mother had used regularly and said with the same amount of disgust. But he didn't hit him. He saw the fear in his brother's eyes and how he seemed to cower backwards into the shadow. Their mother, or someone, had hit Regulus, had done something to him for Sirius recognised those scared eyes as his own.
He dropped his arm, shamefully. "If you have nothing to hide...If you want me to believe you, show me your arm."
Regulus grabbed his left arm, subconsciously, giving everything away to his brother. Within milliseconds he realised what he'd done. The fear in his eyes intensified. Sirius didn't know what to do or what to say. His suspicions had been correct but it only amplified his failure as a brother. If he'd stuck around, if he'd been able to endure more time at Grimmauld Place, Regulus might not have ended up in the situation.
"Here's a tip, baby bro." Sirius muttered, trying his best to produce a smile. But he couldn't. His brother was one of them. "If someone, who isn't me, asks you for your arm, and they don't specify left or right, don't touch anything."
"I don't have to explain myself to you." The Slytherin lashed out.
"And I don't have to trust you with anything."
"Things are changing, Sirius." Regulus warned, ready to leave.
"I'll be there to stop you and to protect you."
"It's too late for that."
Neither of them would ever admit that they checked their notebooks daily, after that point.
(The Apology)
"James!" Lily gasped and stood up immediately, not caring that the books would fall off of her lap. She grabbed for his glasses, opened them for him and placed them on his face. "Are you alright? Are you in any pain? Do I need to get—"
"Lily." He muttered as she continued to fluster.
"Are you hungry?" She asked and rummaged in her bag. She produced the food she had saved for him. "I didn't get chance to go down to get dinner but I've got sandwiches. I made sure it was the ones with ham but with no tomatoes and cut in triangles, with the better crust sides. Oh, and I've got you three slices of treacle tart. Do you need a drink? I got pumpkin juice or do you want—"
"Lily." He said, again, with a huge smile on his face.
"Oh Merlin, I haven't even apologised."
"Lily!" He laughed. This time she stopped. "It's okay. We're okay."
"Oh no, you don't, Potter. I'm gonna apologise so shut your mouth." Lily spoke and sat back down in her chair. The vast amount of guilt, she had felt throughout the day, had boiled to the surface causing her to forget the words she'd wanted to say. She sighed heavily and picked up a book, the one she'd be reading, before she continued. "I'm so sorry about what I said last night. I just... I didn't want to believe that... I understand I crossed a line and if you don't forgive me, I get it. You have a right to be angry at me—"
"I was angry with you."
"You should still be angry with me."
"Why?"
"Because I fucked up, James! I hurt you...I hurt us more than anytime before. I don't get why your just letting it slide."
He brushed another flyaway hair off of her face. His expressions was soft and calm, like his voice. "I've realised I'd rather be by your side than be mad with you, because that would be all the time."
Lily spluttered a laugh and nodded her head. "I'm incredibly sorry, though."
"Always trust I have your back, okay?"
Her mind rushed back to her daydreams. He'd only said those words, that exact phrase, in her mind. It felt weird to hear them in real life. It brought up the emotions she'd felt, during her hallucinations, and they were rising too quickly for her to stop them. They were overwhelming and painful but she smiled through it. "Because you're being so nice about this, I feel like I owe you something."
"Hmm." James pondered. A wicked grin formed on his face. "How about a...kiss?"
"What a way to kill the mood, Potter."
"I'm being serious."
"You wouldn't be able to handle it."
"I think you'd find, Evans, you'd become completely in love with me."
"I'm not kissing you."
"I dare you."
Lily glared at him. Never had she refused a dare but she knew she wouldn't be able to do it. It would change something between them, something that could never be undone or forgotten.
"As much as I'd love to," She sarcastically began and soon stopped. Holding back a smile she grabbed a tissue and passed it to him. "You've got a nose bleed, you idiot."
"You could still kiss me."
"I'm not kissing you."
"So you forfeit?"
"I guess so."
"You have to go on a date with me, then."
Her heart fluttered. "A date? When?"
"We've got a Hogsmeade trip next Saturday."
"That's the last one before Christmas. How am I meant to get your present if you're there?"
"Excuses, excuses." He muttered as he, finally, took a sandwich.
"You can't be there when I buy it. I want it to be a surprise."
"Would it have anything to do with Quidditch?"
She closed her book and tried to cover the front cover with her hands. "No. I'm just...How do you know I'm reading about Quidditch?"
"I heard you and Slughorn." James answered, honestly. "You don't have to stay with me, you can go to his party."
"I said we'd go together so I'm staying here...with you." Lily blushed. She opened the book, again, and began reading where she'd left off. It helped her to relax and not to think about the words she was about to say. "I'll go on this date with you but only if I can get your present beforehand."
"You're the one that keeps thinking it will be a whole day."
"Oh, I thought that's what you wanted."
"As lovely as that would be, Evans, I think a few hours would be fine for our third date."
"When were the other two?"
He gasped. "The fact that you don't know is too hurtful for me to tell you."
Lily laughed. "Eat your bloody sandwiches."
Neither of them spoke for awhile. Lily went back to reading and writing her notes, while James stuffed his mouth with food. She could feel him looking at her but she kept pushing through her research. She didn't want to have another conversation about kisses or dates. Her heart wouldn't be able to take anymore pressure.
"Aren't you meant to hold a person's hand when they are in the Hospital?" James asked behind a glass of pumpkin juice.
"Where'd you get that from?" She replied with another question but still kept her head down. Lily knew where he was going.
"You said—"
"I know what I said but there is a difference between you and Remus."
"Oh yeah, what's that?"
Lily looked up and smiled, cheekily. "I actually like Remus."
"Ouch." Potter grinned. "You know how to knock a wounded guy down, Evans. You, definitely, have to hold my hand now."
"I'm busy."
"Er, you're left hand isn't doing anything and I haven't broken my right one." His smile grew wider as he extended his good hand towards her. It was an incredibly infectious smile, one that Lily found herself reciprocating.
She laughed, a little, as she took his hand. Lily tried to not to think about the current that was passing through her body. It fed the monster inside her. It was happy. She was happy. Their fingers entwined slowly, and carefully, as they tested each other to see if it was alright to do so. Neither complained.
"What you working on?" James asked, after some time. "Is that a healing book?"
"I'm just looking to see if I can mend your arm in a week."
"Can't Madam Pomfrey do that?"
"If you don't remember, Potter, you've broken your arms before—"
"All because of you."
"—and they took longer than a week to heal. I know you, James: you're gonna want to play the Hufflepuff game next Sunday, so I'm just looking."
"Any luck?"
"I can't tell yet, you keep interrupting me." She laughed. "I don't even know if I'd be able to perform the charm anyway. I've never practiced such a spell before, and I don't want to fuck up your arm anymore than it already is."
"I've just broken my arm then?" He asked, puzzled.
Lily looked confused. "Yes. You're just a bit bruised on your right side. Do you feel pain anywhere else?"
"No. But I must have fallen...Maybe I wasn't that high up."
She fidgeted in her seat. "I used the arresto momentum charm to slow you down."
"Really?"
"You can blame Black for the bruises, he was distracting me."
"I can cope with them." He laughed. "Thank—"
"Don't. It was the least I could do after my fuck up."
James squeezed her hand. His eyes bore into hers, full of an emotion she'd never seen from someone before. With every inhale of breath, everything within her ached. Everything inside of her wanted him but she couldn't. She had to look away. "Lily, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." She lied. Everything was wrong, everything had changed and she didn't want to face it, face him.
"Do you want to sit up here? On the bed?"
"I'm good here."
"I don't bite."
Lily laughed. "I'm holding your hand and have agreed to go on a bloody date with you, Potter, what else do you want?"
"I want to help you."
"Help me?"
"Yeah. I heard you doing the Patronus charm before—"
"And sitting on your bed will help how?"
He shrugged. "You've got nothing to lose if you do."
The redhead looked at him with a scowl. What was his motivation for this? He could help her as they are now, with distance between them. Yet the more she thought about it the same thing kept popping up, deep down she still didn't trust him.
Determined to get this out of her system and, to just get it over and done with, she stood up. "Move over then." Lily muttered as she sat down next to him. He was very close. She swung her legs onto the bed, looked to her left and sighed heavily. "What now, then?"
James picked up his wand from the table and incanted the Patronus charm. The beautiful silver stag pranced in the air as it came to life. It stopped at the end of the bed and walked over to her, just like it did before. Lily smiled at the familiarity of it's warmth. "What do you think about?" She asked as she reached out to touch the stag's bowed head. "And don't say your happiest memory."
"It changes. I think of my worst memory and then replace it with a happy one. It's that difference I use."
"That's not in the textbooks."
He shrugged, cockily. "It works."
"Okay, so what did you just think of?"
"Erm...the worst memory was from last night and the happiest is of you being here."
Lily felt the heat rush to her face. "I haven't don't anything though."
"Last night, I thought I'd lost...you," He whispered. She brushed her thumb along his. "Today, we are back to normal. That makes me pretty happy...It's the freshest memory I have at the moment so I used it. Use whatever you are feeling right now."
Evans closed her eyes and exhaled. Worst memory? She didn't want to use how she felt or anything from the past few hours. She didn't want to be a cliche of being a heroine thinking of a guy to make her accomplish something. But the immeasurable amount of guilt she had felt earlier in the day was still circling around her head.
Okay, she thought. Your worst memory is of your guilt of having no trust for Potter. What is your happiest from today? Him accepting you apology? The letter from your parents and how Petunia hates the moustache your dad has grown?
She exhaled once more before she muttered. "Expecto Patronum."
The usual blue smoke emitted out of her wand. It danced around her, James and his Patronus. "Don't stop." James smiled. He placed his hand over hers and helped her continue the circular motion.
Lily focused on her memory's and watched as her wisp of light kept bounding around the silver stag. It too noticed. James' Patronus moved away but her's still followed, toying with it. "What's it doing?" She asked him.
"I don't know."
The silver light began to grow bigger, take an animal form, but, as soon as that happened, the stag began to walk out of vision. Her Patronus followed. "No, wait." Lily said, trying to get off the bed, quickly, before she couldn't see what it was.
But she was too late. The two Patronus' had walked through the solid oak doors, of the Hospital Wing, before she could see.
"Did you see it?" James asked, full of excitement for her.
Evans shook her head, disappointed. She wondered back over to him and sat back down on the bed. His arm went over her shoulder. She crumbled into his side fed up of being a failure.
"You'll get it next time, Lily." He said quietly as he kissed her head.
Her heart hurt, ached, tortured her from that—
"Have you signed my cast yet?"
—moment onwards.