Rick jerked awake, reaching to grab the blankets. He pulled them close, looking around the bedroom. It was still dark, just the beginnings of morning starting to show. He could hear rain, a slight drizzle. Rick lifted a hand to rub his face, the sleep away from his eyes. Behind them, there was a dull pain.

He tried to remember his dream. There was a crow perched on his chest. Rick had shooed it away, but it didn't move. It stared at him and snapped at his tongue.

Then he woke up. If there was anything else, he didn't remember. He didn't remember much after telling Judith goodnight. He read her a story, but he couldn't remember what it was. Rick rubbed at his face again, his forehead. The book would be on her nightstand.

Rick sat up and tossed the bed covers aside. He picked up his phone, and the screen unlocked, showing his text messages. There wasn't a lot, just from Carl and Jeffrey. He furrowed his brow, squinting at the screen. Lifting a hand, he scratched his cheek and closed out of his messages. He locked his phone, unplugged it, and walked out of the room.

The house was quiet. The floor creaked under Rick's feet.

He went outside and sat down on the porch steps, balancing his phone on his knee and crossing his arms over his chest. The rain had stopped.

"Dad, what are you doing?"

Rick glanced over his shoulder, up at Carl. "Sitting. You okay? It's early."

"I heard the door open."

"And you wanted to check?"

"Who else would it be?"

Rick gave a small smile. "Go back to bed," he said.

Carl left without another word, closing the door behind him. Rick looked across the yard, staring at the road, the streetlamp. The light went out without a flicker. Rick blinked, furrowed his brow, and looked down the road. The next streetlamp was still lit. Rick frowned and stared at it. The bulb must have blown out. Do they do that?

He stood up and slipped back inside. Rick checked on Judith, who was twisted in her blankets and snoring softly. On her nightstand was Sleeping Beauty.

Rick passed Carl's room, the door shut, all quiet. He dropped his phone on his bed before going into the bathroom. Rick searched through the cabinet, trying to find something to soothe this headache.

He downed a couple Tylenol, drank another cup of water, and stood in the bathroom, the last bulb over the mirror the only thing helping him see. Rick lifted his right hand, palm up, and looked at the small spot in the center. He rubbed his thumb against it, but it stayed. And hurt a bit. Rick shook his head and switched off the light.

The bed felt cold and big. Rick pulled the blankets closer and stretched out his legs as far as they could go.

Rick squeezed Judith's hand so she wouldn't run off. He held his phone to his ear, brow furrowed. "Hey, what's going on?"

"Hey, would you look at that! He speaks!" Jeffrey said, laughing.

"Of course I'm speaking. What are you going on about?" Rick walked Judith down the aisle, squinting at the boxes of cereal.

"We haven't talked in ages, Richie! I've texted you and everything."

"Yeah, I thought I texted you back." Rick crouched down, pointing at a box of Cheerios. Judith shook her head.

"You just said 'hi'. That's not even a conversation."

"It's a start of one." Rick stared at the row of Cheerios boxes. "I haven't really been up to anything. Carl's getting out of the house more than me."

"A tragedy."

"I know." Rick glanced over, Judith a few feet away, head tipped back to look at the selections above her. "Did you know on some of these Cheerios boxes, they took the bee off?"

"What?"

"Yeah. Save the bees, Jeffrey."

"Daddy! I want this one."

Rick stood up and turned toward her, stopping to see a man hand Judith a box of Frosted Flakes. "Here you go. Those are probably my favorite."

"Judy." He moved next to her, hand absently touching her hair. Rick lowered his phone and stared at the man, offering a smile. "Thank you." He took the box from Judith and stuck it underneath his arm.

"You're welcome," he said, looking at Rick with a fond smile of his own. Slowly, he turned and walked down the aisle, the basket in his hand swinging.

Rick stayed there and watched, wetting his lips. He scratched his forehead, shaking his head, and lifted the phone back to his ear. "Sorry. I'm at the store."

"It's cool. Which reminds me, are we still having that dinner with Madison?"

Rick held Judith's hand again, leading her to the freezer section. He frowned. "We were having dinner with Madison? Jeff, do you know when the last time I—"

"—I mean, it was hypothetical. Wait, did you seriously forget?"

"Forget what?" Rick let go of Judith's hand and pointed at the ice cream. "Want any?"

Judith pressed her hands to the glass and stared.

"You told me you saw her like two months ago. Met her son and everything."

Rick squeezed his eyes closed, held his breath, and opened them. "Nick."

"Yeah!"

"Well, you can tell I really wanted to have that dinner." Judith tapped the glass, pointing at some cups of strawberry ice cream. Rick moved Judith out of the way and opened the freezer, grabbing a bag. "I don't really think she was interested in catching up. Always was private." He examined the bag and handed it off to Judith. She took it, holding it with a grin. Rick smiled, too.

"We don't have to get together, then. She'd probably make some excuse."

Rick lifted his head and looked down the aisle, catching the sight of the same man from earlier. He swallowed. "Yeah." The man put down a package of cookies. He raised a hand to rub his cheek, dragging across clean-shaven skin, and turned his head. His eyes met Rick's, and he dropped his hand, giving another smile, small, unassuming. Rick tightened his grip on the phone. He didn't know what was going on in his chest. He breathed in, steadying.

"I can hear you breathing."

Rick looked away, taking Judith's hand again. "Sorry. Thinking. Did you still want to get together? We could have dinner." He walked past the frozen food sections. "Whenever you're free." Rick glanced up. The man was gone.

"Is tonight too short notice?"

"Carl's hanging out with some friends. I can text him."

"Oh, so you'll text him."

Rick laughed. "Shut up, Jeff. I can text you later. Want me to get anything? I have… Frosted Flakes and strawberry ice cream."

"It's fine, Richie. I should let you go. You sound preoccupied."

"It's the store."

"Right. Talk to you later."

"Bye." Rick ended the call and stuck his phone in his pocket. "Lemme carry that," he said, taking the ice cream from Judith. "Let's get home before all of this melts." Judith giggled. They passed the self-checkouts, and again, Rick saw him, eyeing the cover of a tabloid magazine while he waited for his card to be read. This time, Rick looked away before he was caught, and followed Judith to one of the registers.

"So, what's her name?" Jeffrey shook the ketchup bottle.

Carl glanced his way. "Enid."

Jeffrey smiled. "I'm happy for you. Are Enid's parents… together?"

Rick lowered his cheeseburger and gave Jeffrey a look. "Jeff."

"Hey, it's not for me." Jeffrey quirked his eyebrow, squeezing ketchup onto his burger. Rick rolled his eyes.

"They're together. Still married." Carl shook his head. "And I don't think… they're… open to, uh, a third—god, nevermind."

Jeffrey laughed, and Rick smiled, despite himself. Judith chewed on a fry, none the wiser.

"Got any classes together?" Rick asked, staring into his burger. "I don't think I've asked."

"Like two. Pre-cal and biology."

"That's not too bad."

"Know if any of your teachers are single?"

"Jeffrey."

"It's a bit depressing, my big brother all cooped up in that house with nothing to do." Jeffrey narrowed his eyes. "Unless you're still—"

"—still what?"

Jeffrey slowly frowned. He shrugged, shaking his head. "Forget it."

"Already have." Rick looked at Carl. "You don't have to answer that."

Carl held his burger, face pinched in concentration. "I think Ms. Harrison got married over the break."

Rick rubbed his face.

"Carl can drive, right?"

Rick looked over, seeing Jeffrey lingering in the front doorway. He nodded. "Yeah."

"Here." Jeffrey handed him a can of beer. "Sorry I was pestering you at dinner."

"It's fine." Rick stared at the can and cracked it open. "Where are they?"

"Carl's on my Xbox, and Judith's asleep on the couch."

Rick frowned. "She'll be up late tonight." He took a drink.

"Everything okay, Richie?" Jeffrey stood next to him, leaning on the porch railings. "You've been too quiet. Like you were after Lori."

"That was almost four years ago."

"Yeah, and you're moping around again."

"I'm not moping."

"I didn't want to bring it up in case the kids didn't know, but, I dunno, did you stop seeing that… was it just a hook-up?"

Rick took another drink, furrowing his brow. "What are you talking about?"

"That weekend Carl and Judith stayed with me? You had the house to yourself? Fuck, Richie, you had a hickey on your neck." Jeffrey laughed.

Rick hung his head, rubbing the back of his neck. He closed his eyes, the throbbing behind them returning. Slowly, he opened them and stared at the grass. "I don't remember what happened, Jeffrey. I guess it didn't end well."

"You seemed happy."

"Yeah, well, shit happens." Rick tipped the can back, roughly swallowing. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm okay. No need to worry."

Jeffrey gave a small smile. "Okay, Rick."

A car drove down the road. A dog barked. Rick's head ached. Gluten-free beer tasted awful.

Maybe he was in a rut. Rick wasn't unhappy, but after talking to his brother he did feel like something was missing. Damn it, Jeffrey. What did he know?

A hell of a lot more than you.

Rick pressed his palm to his forehead. Hard.

His phone vibrated from the coffee table. Rick glanced at Judith and her rabbit on the living room floor, and picked up his phone. It was a text from Carl. He had to stay after school to make up a test—he didn't know how long he'd take.

Rick looked back at Judith. "I got you Bonnie, right?"

"Right," she said happily. She tried to slip a hat on her head.

He smiled. "I don't think she likes that."

"Yes, she does!"

Bonnie twitched her nose.

The parking lot was empty. Rick pulled into a spot near the steps and looked ahead. He rubbed his thumbs into the steering wheel. "Do you want to sit in the car, or sit out on the steps?"

Judith glanced between him and the window. "Outside."

Rick nodded and pulled off his seatbelt. "Let's wait for your brother outside."

They sat on the steps, Judith picking at the grass next to them. Rick watched her, propping his head with his hand. He smiled. "Go get a dandelion, Judy."

Judith shot up and ducked under the railing, walking through the grass to find a dandelion. She pulled one up and grinned, marching back over to Rick. "Like Bonnie!"

A shiver went down Rick's spine. He rubbed his arm. "What?"

She blew on the dandelion, giggling. "Fluff!"

Slowly, Rick smiled again and nodded. "Yeah, Bonnie's pretty fluffy." Judith tossed the stem of the dandelion over her shoulder. "Do you want to get another one?" he asked.

"Nope." She wrapped an arm around the railing and begun to twist around, swinging.

"Be careful," Rick said. "Don't want to hurt yourself." He rested his chin on his fist again, watching as she hung on the railing like a monkey. "Next year, you're gonna start school." Rick frowned. "You're growing up too fast, Judy."

"I think she's a little young to go here."

Before Rick could turn his head, Judith launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck in a hug. He leaned from the force, his head hitting the stair railing. Rick screwed his eyes closed and grimaced, lifting a hand to touch Judith's back and the other to touch his head.

"Holy shit! That looked like it hurt!"

I need a—

I'm gonna get someone up on this—

You back there, with the—

Pretty cheap trick, huh?

Rick opened his eyes, widened them, and lifted his head. His mind was spinning. The sun was too bright. He caught the worried gaze of a man, the same man he had seen in the store. His eyes were wide, too, and he crouched down next to Rick and Judith. "Shit, are you okay?" he asked, voice low.

Judith squirmed in his arms. Rick felt his grip loosen as he roughly swallowed. He squeezed his eyes shut again, trying to control his breathing. He felt claustrophobic. Rick let Judith go, and he stood up, reaching for the railing. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Nope, not today." The man stood, too, and took a step back, up the stairs. "Can you walk? Let's get you somewhere nice and cool. Get you out of this damn heat."

Rick tightened his hold. "No. I'm good here. I'm waiting for—"

"—I'm sure you can give them a change of address." The man slipped an arm around Rick's waist and pulled him in. He looked down at Judith. "What's your name, little lady?"

Judith glanced at Rick, hands to her mouth. Rick rubbed his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Um, Judith," she said.

"Well, Judith, I'm Negan. Do you want to lead the way? I can tell you what direction to go."

She was reluctant at first, staring at her father, but she soon took a step forward. Judith looked back at Negan.

"There you go. Go through the front doors, and turn left."

They walked into the school and down the hall, Rick pushing away from Negan. "I'm good. I'm fine. I can walk." He stopped, lifting a hand to touch the side of his head. "Just a little bump."

Negan looked behind him, Judith staying a few feet in front of them. He put his hands on his hips. "That's a bunch of… Come on. I have some water in my office. You'll feel better."

Rick didn't move immediately. He lowered his hand and closed his eyes again.

That didn't really—

That's right—

That didn't hap—

"Okay," Rick said, opening his eyes, and started walking again. "Sorry."

Negan waited until Rick was next to him before he set off. "Why are you apologizing?" he asked. "The little hellion should apologize, jumping all over you."

Rick managed a smile. "She'll do what she likes."

Negan hummed. "In here." He touched Judith's shoulder and moved her aside. "These doors are heavier. Let me." Judith stepped back, hands behind her back. Negan pushed on the door and held it open. "It's always chilly in here. Might feel better soon."

Judith grabbed Rick's hand as they walked into the gym. Like Negan said, it was chilly—a cold breeze hit Rick as he stepped through the doorway, making goosebumps along his arms. He squeezed Judith's fingers, wetting his lips. "You, you work here?"

"Well, yeah. That's why I have an office." Negan laughed, and it echoed through the empty room. He walked down a set of steps, on the basketball court, and turned a corner. He held the door open, too. "Just go sit down. I'll get some water or something."

The office was bare, inside only a small bookshelf, a desk and computer, and a couple chairs. Behind the desk, there was a mini-refrigerator. Judith went to sit down, while Rick stayed by the door. Behind him, Negan closed it.

"Have you worked here long?" Rick asked.

"Nah. This is my first year." Negan walked around Rick and crouched, digging in the mini-fridge. He took out a bottle of water and stood up straight. "Here. Don't worry, I've got loads more. Kids overwork themselves all the time."

Rick held the water bottle, rubbing it in between his hands. "You said your name was Negan?" He twisted the cap off.

"Yeah, I'm Negan." He sat behind his desk, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you?"

"I'm Rick." He took a drink, slow, careful. His eyes slid shut, humming softly. Rick swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "That's good."

Negan laughed again, grinning. "Man, Rick. That was a bit X-rated."

Rick rolled his eyes. He dragged a chair over to Judith and sat next to her. "Want a drink?" He held out the bottle. "Be careful."

Judith took it from him. "Thank you." Rick ran his fingers through her hair. He lifted his head, looking across at Negan, who was already watching him. Rick twirled a lock of Judith's hair around his finger. As he stared at Negan, there was a throb behind his eye. He looked away.

"How's your head, Rick?"

"It's better."

"Who were you waiting on?"

Rick scratched his eyebrow. "Uh, my son. He had to stay after for a little bit." He dropped his hand. "Carl Grimes?"

Negan studied Rick, shaking his head. "Haven't heard of him."

"Yeah, I think he did his physical education requirement last year." Rick pried the water bottle from Judith's hands. He took another drink before putting the cap back on. Rick looked down at Judith, then looked at Negan. "You just move here? I haven't seen you around much."

"I moved here with my wife." Rick glanced down at Negan's hands, but they were shoved underneath his armpits. Negan saw, though, and he pulled out his left hand, showing Rick. "She died a few years back. Heart attack."

Rick frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"—it's cool." Like Rick had, Negan looked down Rick's arms, although a little more slowly, and stared at his hands. "And you?"

"I, I." Rick shook his head. "Sorry."

"You can tell me later," Negan said.

"Later?" Rick felt his phone vibrate. He handed Judith the water bottle, reaching into his pocket for his phone.

"Yeah, I mean, if you'd like."

Rick looked down at the screen, seeing Carl's message that he was sitting out front. He sent back a quick reply, a 'be right there', and slipped his phone back in his pocket. His eyes met Negan's again, and he swallowed, wet his lips. He nodded. "I'd like that."

Negan smiled, a small one. "Cool." He scooted his chair back and opened up a drawer. "Lemme just." He ripped off a corner of notebook paper and picked up a pen. Clicking it a few times, Negan scribbled on the paper. He folded it in half, holding it up. "Here."

"I gotta come over there?" Rick asked, standing up. He walked over and stood by the other side of the desk, holding out his hand.

Negan stood, too, and reached out, tucking the piece of paper into the pocket of Rick's shirt. "Call me. Or text." He smiled.

Rick touched his shirt, feeling the slip of paper. "What, you're flexible?" he asked, teasing.

The smile slid away, and Negan swallowed. He looked down at the desk, at Judith, back at Rick. "Yeah."

"Everything okay?" Rick frowned.

"Oh, yeah. I just remember I gotta, gotta." Negan tapped his knuckles against the desk. "Yeah."

Rick narrowed his eyes and slowly nodded. "Carl's waiting," he said.

Negan didn't look at him, sitting down. He closed the desk drawer, dropping the pen in a nearby coffee cup. "See ya, Rick. Hope your head feels better soon." Negan looked at him, then, lips pressed together. "Take an aspirin."

Judith slid out of her chair and tugged on Rick's hand. "Come on, Daddy. Carl!"

Rick adjusted his grip on the water bottle. "I'll text you. Thanks for… the water."

Negan shrugged, turning in the chair. "Least I could do."

Handing the water bottle back to Judith, Rick scooped her up in his arms. He left the office, carefully shutting the door behind him. As Rick slipped out of the gym, he heard the faint sound of something breaking.