The Real Tinuviel
28 Last Seed (Day 13) -- 10:19 PM
Right. I don't like it here.
5 Quick-ish Reasons Why I Don't Like It Here:
1) They're worse than Seyda Neen for customs. First thing I had to do upon getting here was get this idiot in a robe to sell me a piece of paper so I could buy crap from the local merchants, 'cos I'm an outlander and I'm not Telvanni and nobody trusts me. 'Cos I mean, if I hadn't bought this ticket thingo, I would obviously automatically try to do something devious, like sell Telvanni potion-making secrets to the Redorans or something. And this ticket will stop me from doing that. Right.
2) Their houses. Suck. Yeah sure, they look pretty cool when you step off the boat, all funky and fungus-y and alive and all that. Ok, well now try going inside one. If you don't fall down a random hole and die, you'll probably end up stuck behind some fat-assed wizard guy who's blocking up one of the tunnels. Or maybe you'll find you can't get to where you're trying to go, because your destination happens to be at the top of said random hole, and you don't have a levitate spell, and potions are ridiculously overpriced, even if you have that ticket you bought from that robed idiot back at the inn. Yeah. The houses suck, period.
3) Everybody -- everybody -- wears a robe. It's disgusting. I'm ditching mine as soon as I can. The only people who don't wear robes are a few street vendors and the guards. But that's ok; the guards have hideous armor to make up for the loss.
4) Haha, and here I was thinking everybody else was racist. In Balmora there were a few rabid Camonna Tong members, but mostly everybody was sane. In Ald-ruhn everyone was brainwashed by the Tribunal to be Dunmer-religious-supremacist types, so they had kind of an excuse. But here in Sadrith Mora, no one's got an excuse, and no one is sane. They all have this attitude like, "Oh, we're rebels and magicians and we know how to preserve ourselves with Botox so we're better than u and we hate u all and u can eat my green glow-in-the-dark poo for all I care. h4x0r 70 7h3 m4x0r!1!" Like Imperials, except with brains and pointy ears. Oh, and also they hate Imperials. Heh.
5) Their bug musk stuff reeks. Ick.
Well anyway, I suppose Sadrith Mora isn't really so bad. It's just that I'm in a rather foul mood after learning that I could have paid the Mage's Guild to teleport me here instead of having to take a twelve-hour journey by boat and silt strider. I checked into the Gateway Inn (hangout of the Robed Idiot) about an hour ago, and now I have this killer headache that I can't get rid of.
I checked a copy of the Alchemist's Formulary to see if it had any headache remedies. Here's what it says: "Common headaches are often attributed to natural poisons found inside the body which are activated by a minor blight disease caused by infected spores; therefore, for maximum relief, imbibe a mixture of one (1) medium-sized ghoul heart and one-tenth pound ash salts, infused with the same measure of meteor slime. Ash salts are relatively common and can be extracted from the corpses of deceased ash monsters. While the other ingredients are comparatively rare, this is a failsafe cure for any degree of headache and is well worth the cost."
Obviously, this didn't help very much. I tried looking for Advil in some Anis woman's alchemy shop, but she didn't have any. So I asked her if she had any of that dodgy headache remedy from the book, but she didn't stock that either. She did have a ghoul heart, but no ash salts or meteor slime. She said she had no idea where to find meteor slime. I doubt she'd even heard of it before. Damn stupid book.
I'd go get drunk somewhere, but I'd have a worse headache in the morning. And I need to work in the morning.
That reminds me, I'm practically rolling in wealth at this point. Aengoth paid me very well for the most part, usually like one k per job, which was very nice. When I exhaust all the errands this Big Helende character has for me, I might just have enough to buy a full suit of some better armor, and maybe even a proper sword instead of the crappy half-busted one I've got.
So all in all, life is pretty good right now, despite the headache and these lame Telvanni types. Thieving shall recommence on the morrow.
A/N: Took me long enough to update, eh? This isn't very long, but I hope it shall suffice until the next entry. I took a bit of liberty with The Alchemist's Formulary -- obviously, there's nothing on headaches in there, but I was having fun, you know? (The potion does work on poisons and blight disease, if you know where to find meteor slime. You can find it if you search for it in the construction set...)
So yeah.Oblivion comes out on the 20th and I'm depressed 'cos I can't get a copy for at least a month and it looks marvelous. Happy gaming, you all!
--anoriel