Spring was continuing to be unusually warm, and Gemma was enjoying the amount of time she was able to spend outside.
Her and Alice had been lying by the lake all afternoon, and were heading back to the common room. They found themselves stuck behind a couple of Ravenclaw girls.
"I'm telling you!" One of them said, excitedly. "Sirius Black will be my boyfriend by the end of the week!"
Gemma glanced at Alice and they both resisted the urge to laugh. Gemma recognised the girl in front as Vivienne Quip, and Gemma knew Sirius had snogged her the other day.
"The way he looked at me." Vivienne was saying now. "The things he said to me. He definitely wanted more."
I doubt it. Sirius never wants more.
"And the way he kissed me!" Vivienne continued. "A guy doesn't just kiss like that. It definitely meant more to him!"
Fairly certain Sirius just kisses like that.
"Vivienne, you are so lucky!" Her friend, Rachel, was saying. "When are you seeing him again?"
"I don't know." Vivienne replied. "I've haven't seen him since but I'm sure I'll see him soon. He won't be able to stay away!"
Or... Sirius is avoiding you.
Gemma and Alice both laughed a little and Vivienne glanced behind. She scowled at Gemma.
"What's so funny?" Vivienne said to her.
"Nothing." Gemma replied. "Alice and I were having a private conversation."
"It sounded like you were laughing at me." She said. "Do you have a problem with me and Sirius getting together?"
Gemma held in a laugh. "No problem at all." She said. "If you and Sirius want to be together, then I wish you both lots of happiness."
Vivienne scowled at Gemma again, before turning on her heel and walking away.
Alice laughed. "How delusional is she!" She said. "Are you going to tell Sirius what we overheard?"
"I'm tempted to." Gemma replied. "I feel like I should warn him!"
They continued laughing, making their way back to the common room.
A few days later, Gemma hadn't seen or heard anything more from Vivienne. But as she heads down to dinner with Remus and Lily, she notices Sirius looking miserable.
He was sat at the table, picking at his food, while James was sat next to him, laughing.
"What's going on with you two?" Remus asks them.
"Sirius has got a problem." James says, holding in a laugh. "A female problem..."
James nods his head towards the Ravenclaw table and Vivienne, who is sat staring at Sirius.
Gemma immediately starts laughing and Sirius glares at her.
"She was saying the other day, Sirius, that you would be her boyfriend by the end of the week." Gemma explains. "Trouble in paradise?"
"Shut up!" Sirius says. "It's not funny. She won't leave me alone. And she brought me a box of chocolates earlier. I'm pretty certain they are spiked with a stupid love potion!"
They all try hard not to laugh, but Gemma can't help herself.
"Stop it!" Sirius snaps again. "I can't get a moments peace from her. She's always there. Watching me. I went for a piss this morning and she practically followed me in there!"
"Have you tried talking to her?" Lily asked. "Maybe tell her you don't want her hanging around…?"
"Yes." Sirius replied. "But she just laughs. She thinks I'm playing hard to get!" He rests his head in his hands, clearly frustrated.
"What do you usually do when girls get clingy?" Gemma asked now. "Surely this isn't the first time this has happened!"
"They usually take the hint after a few hours." Sirius replied. "No one has hung around this long. And no one has followed me around for days on end, like a bloody stalker!"
James started laughing again, with the rest of them joining.
"It's not funny!" Sirius said again.
"Oh come on, mate." James replied. "It really is. The amount of girls you've snogged in this school, I'm surprised you haven't had this problem before."
"Uh oh." Remus said now. "Incoming."
They all look up and see Vivienne walking towards them.
"Kill me now." Sirius whispers, shaking his head.
"Hi Sirius!" Vivienne says, smiling at him. He ignores her. "I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk together? Just the two of us..."
"No." Sirius replies. "I'm fine here."
Vivienne looks deflated, but then she picks up again. "Have you eaten those chocolates I bought you?" She asks now.
Sirius shakes his head. "No." He says. "I don't like chocolate."
"Oh." She replies. "What do you like?"
"You leaving me alone." He says, turning to look at her.
Vivienne looks upset, but she preservers. "Ok." She says. "I'll just be back over there. I'll come and find you later."
She throws him another smile and heads off, back to her table.
"Wow!" James says. "She is crazy!"
"What do you do to these girls when you snog them, Sirius?" Gemma asks, laughing. "Maybe you're the one giving out a love potion!"
The others laugh and Sirius throws her a small smile.
"Why don't you just kiss another girl?" Lily suggests. "I don't agree with your womanising ways, but it would certainly help her get the hint."
Lily shrugs, but Sirius is now staring at her.
"Yes!" He says. "That's exactly what I need to do. She won't want anything to do with me after that!"
Everyone nods in agreement.
"Who though?" James asks. "Surely you've already been round most of the girls in the school."
Gemma looks around, trying to find someone suitable.
Hmm... I think he's kissed all of them... ooh that girl is a possibility...
Gemma turns back to Sirius to put forward her suggestion, when she sees him staring at her, a strange look on his face.
"What?" Gemma asks.
"Fancy helping a friend in need?" Sirius asks, a grin appearing on his face. He raises his eyebrows at her.
"Ha!" Gemma cries. "No chance!"
She starts to move away from him, but suddenly his arm wraps around her waist. He starts to pull her back towards him.
"Sirius, get off me." Gemma says, fighting against him.
He doesn't let her go, and instead places his other hand on her waist and lifts her easily onto his lap. He wraps his arms around her, laughing.
"Sirius!" Gemma cries, trying to escape. She pushes at his arms, but they are too strong.
"Come on Gemma." Sirius says, puckering his lips. "Just one little kiss..." He moves his head towards her as she pulls herself back from him.
"No!" she cries, laughing slightly. He is such an idiot! "Let me go!"
"Fine." Sirius says, releasing her and letting her slip back down next to him.
Suddenly Sirius's hands grab Gemma's face and he pulls her towards him. His lips meet hers, pressing firmly against her for a few seconds.
As soon as he lets her go, he jumps up and runs from the hall.
What the...!
Did that actually just happen?
Oh I'm going to kill him!
Gemma jumps up as well, ignoring the look of shock on her friends faces, and runs out of the hall after him.
As she heads out the door, she's surprised to see Sirius standing in front of her. He raises a hand to defend himself.
"Before you say anything." He says. "I am sorry. But... it worked. Vivienne didn't look pleased."
Gemma shook her head at him. "You really are hard work, Sirius." She says.
"I know." He says, smiling slightly. "But please forgive me. I promise I won't do it again."
"Too right you won't do that again." Gemma says. She stares at him, then sighs. "Fine. I forgive you. I don't know how you do it, but I just can't stay mad at you."
Sirius laughs. "It's because you love me, Gemma!" He says, grinning as he moves towards her. "You love my charm and wit and of course... my good looks!"
He winks at her and Gemma shoves him away.
"You wish!" She says. "Right, I'm heading back to the common room before Vivienne comes out and attacks me!"
Sirius laughs, but Gemma was only half joking.
Based on how crazy she is, I don't want to take any chances!
They walk back to the common room, and shortly after, Lily, James and Remus return too.
James and Remus disappear with Sirius and Peter upstairs, while Lily pulls Gemma to one side. Alice and Mary are nearby, overhearing the conversation.
"What the hell is going on with you and Sirius?" Lily asks Gemma.
"Nothing." Gemma replies. "And I know what you are going to say, but we are still just friends."
"You kissed!" Lily cries, and Gemma watches as Alice and Mary's mouths open in shock.
"What?!" Mary screams. "When? Where?"
"Ok, it was not a proper kiss." Gemma explains. "He basically pecked me on the lips, and only to make Vivienne stop stalking him. He was messing around." Gemma shrugs but the girls look unconvinced.
"It was a peck that lasted a long time, Gemma." Lily says now. "And as soon as I suggested he kiss another girl to make Vivienne see sense, his eyes were immediately on you!"
Gemma shook her head. Don't be ridiculous!
"I knew this would happen." Alice said. "It's been obvious for ages. You both clearly fancy each other."
"No we don't." Gemma said.
"Yes you do!" Mary cried. "You've admitted it to us, as well."
"Ok, fine." Gemma said. "I admitted once that I fancied Sirius. But that was before we became such good friends. He's good looking, but we are friends! And only friends!"
"Rubbish!" Alice said, surprising Gemma slightly. "You flirt with each other all the time. You don't flirt with Remus or James and you are just as close to them."
Gemma sighed. "Ok. We flirt." She admitted. "But that's because it's Sirius. It's hard to not flirt with him!"
"We all manage it." Lily said, raising her eyebrows.
Gemma sighed. "Well, regardless of whether I fancy him or flirt with him... I don't want anything to happen." Gemma says now. "Sirius and I are good friends, and this is what our friendship is. We mess around together. We have a laugh. It doesn't have to mean anything."
The girls all looked at her, still unconvinced.
"Maybe." Alice says. "But I do think you'll get together one day. You're too perfect for each other."
Gemma frowned, laughing slightly. "No we're not." She said.
"You sort of are." Lily said. "You're really similar."
"How?" Gemma asked. "Because neither of us want relationships?"
"Not just that." Lily said. "You're both pretty fiery. And you do have a tendency to get yourselves into trouble."
"You're both really smart too." Mary said. "And it seems to come naturally to you both. When you duel each other, it's pretty incredible."
"That's because they're both ridiculously stubborn." Alice added, grinning slightly.
Gemma rolled her eyes as the other girls laughed.
"That's true." Lily says. "Gemma definitely met her match the day she met Sirius!"
"And vice versa!" Mary says.
Gemma laughs at them all. "If anything, all these reasons are proving that Sirius and I are not perfect for each other." She says. "I don't want to be with someone exactly like me!"
"I think the most important similarity though, Gemma, is how beautiful you both are!" Mary said now. "It would be criminal for you two to not make lots of beautiful babies!"
The girls all laugh and Gemma throws her head in her hands, laughing.
"How have we got onto babies?" She asks.
"Mary's right." Lily says, grinning at her. "You and Sirius would make very beautiful babies."
"Annoying, beautiful babies." Alice added. "Any baby of yours would be a right troublemaker and so bloody stubborn!"
Gemma shoved Alice slightly, laughing. "Shut up." She said. "My babies will be perfect. And if anyone messes with them, there will be hell to pay."
The girls laugh. "So, have we agreed that Gemma is going to have Sirius's babies?" Mary asks, grinning. Alice and Lily nod and Gemma just shakes her head.
"You lot are beyond frustrating!" Gemma says.
"You love us though." Alice says, wrapping her arm around Gemma. "And you'll thank us. When you have beautiful babies."
They all laugh, and continue talking. Then Gemma remembers she needs to finish a Potions essay. She gets to work, as James and Sirius return downstairs.
She tries to ignore the loud game of exploding snap happening beside her, but James keeps winning and Sirius becomes convinced he is cheating somehow. It distracts her enough that she falls behind on her assignment.
Eventually everyone starts heading up to bed and Gemma is relieved that she only has one more section to write and the common room is now much quieter.
"Oh shit!" Gemma suddenly cries, rifling through the Potions books she had checked out of the library. "I've forgotten one!"
They had each been given a different potion to write an essay on, and Gemma needed a specific book to help her finish.
"What have you forgotten?" Sirius asks.
Gemma looks up and realises it is just the two of them left.
"Just a book. For this essay." She says. "But it's ok. I can finish it tomorrow night."
"Or..." Sirius says. "We could go get it from the library now?"
Gemma threw him a look. "Don't be silly." She said. "It's far too late and far too much effort. I can just get it tomorrow."
Sirius throws his head back in anguish.
"Gemma!" He cries. "You were supposed to agree. I want to do something fun. Take a risk. But James is tired."
Sirius rolls his eyes and Gemma laughs.
"The hours you two stay up, I'm surprised you're not tired." She says. "And fine. We can go. But I want to use the map and the cloak. I'm not getting caught."
"Of course." Sirius replies, grinning. "Give me 2 minutes!" He quickly runs upstairs to get what they need.
He returns, carrying the cloak and the map. He tosses Gemma the cloak and she quickly covers herself, deciding she is going to have a little fun.
"Ha. Ha." Sirius says, not looking up from the map. "I know what you're trying to do. And it won't work."
Sirius suddenly looks up, almost perfectly in her direction.
"Not only do I have the map in my hand, dummy." He says. "But I can smell you too."
Gemma quickly threw the cloak off her. "Excuse me?" She said. "You can smell me?! What are you saying, Sirius?"
Sirius laughed. "Don't worry, Gemma." He says. "You smell nice. What I mean is... Padfoot can smell you. I have a heightened sense of smell now."
Gemma stared at him as he continued to explore the map.
This is new.
"So... can you smell me before I walk into a room?" Gemma asks.
"Sometimes." He says. "Right... coast is clear."
He looks up at her, preparing to leave, but Gemma was still staring at him.
"What do I smell like?" She asked now.
Sirius frowned, then laughed slightly, before shrugging.
"I don't know." He said. "I guess... Oranges. Maybe. Maybe flowers or something as well. You don't smell like an old man if that's what you're worried about."
Gemma laughs. "I should hope not." She says. "Hmm. Oranges and flowers. Maybe that's my perfume."
"Maybe." Sirius says, looking back at the map. "But you smell different when you're closer to me. More... vanilla and nutty."
Gemma smiles to herself. "My shampoo." She says.
Sirius clears his throat. "Are you ready?" He asks.
Gemma looks at him and notices a slight pink tinge to his cheeks.
Is he blushing? Is he embarrassed because he knows what I smell like?
Gemma smiles, not drawing attention to it. "Yes." She says.
They wrap the cloak around themselves and move along the corridors. Neither said anything.
Eventually they arrived at the library and Gemma went to find the book while Sirius kept an eye on the map.
Gemma returned to him, and they stepped under the cloak again.
"Filch is near." Sirius whispered. "But we should still make it back."
Gemma nodded, feeling nervous and excited all at the same time.
Shortly after they left the library, Sirius paused. He showed Gemma the map and she could see Filch was very close to them.
They watched and waited to see which way he turned. Either away from them, or towards them.
Towards them.
Sirius grabbed Gemma's hand and led her back the way they came. They then headed down a new corridor, towards a statue.
Sirius bent down, pressing part of the stone, and a small space opened behind the statue.
Wow.
Sirius pulled her in, closing the space behind him.
It was an exceptionally small space. Really only enough room for one person. Gemma was pressed tightly between Sirius and the wall.
"We should be ok in here for a little while." Sirius said, still watching the map. Gemma nodded.
They stood there for a while, watching and waiting. Filch was still nearby, having clearly found something of interest in the corridor they were just in.
"You didn't drop anything, did you?" Sirius whispered, frowning at the map. "Filch isn't moving."
Gemma shook her head. "I only have my wand and this book." She replied, feeling for both of them. "You?"
Sirius shook his head, also feeling for his wand. "I'm good."
Gemma started to fidget. Her back was flush against the stone wall and there was a small piece sticking out. She moved herself forward, away from it, pushing her hips into Sirius.
"Gemma Arwin." Sirius said, looking down. "Why are you grinding up against me?"
He grinned at her and Gemma rolled her eyes.
"This wall is stabbing my back." She explained. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry." Sirius said, smiling. "Here... let me."
Sirius pushed his hand between her back and the wall, taking the hit of the protruding stone.
"Better?" He asked now.
"Yes." Gemma replied. "Thanks."
Gemma suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. Sirius was very close to her and his hand was very firmly on her back.
If the girls saw me now... Gemma thought to herself, laughing slightly.
"What's funny?" Sirius asked, watching her.
"Nothing." Gemma said. "Just the girls... earlier. They had a few ridiculous ideas."
Sirius frowned at her. "Ideas about what?" He asked.
"Well, after your stunt at dinner, they were all telling me that it was obvious we fancy each other." She said.
She looked down, not wanting to see Sirius's shocked reaction.
"I just thought about how they would react if they saw us stood like this." She added, keeping her eyes low.
Sirius didn't say anything and slowly Gemma moved her eyes up to his. He was staring at her, a smile on his lips.
"Do you fancy me?" He asked.
Yes.
But I'm not telling you that! Your head is too big already!
"No." She said, looking away from him slightly.
"Liar." He said, grinning at her. She rolled her eyes. "And it's ok." He continued. "I fancy you too."
Gemma stared at him, trying to work out whether he was being serious or not.
Sirius laughed. "What?" He said. "Look at you! You're hot! Of course I fancy you."
Gemma blushed, then regretted it.
What is wrong with me!
Sirius smiled at her, then focused back on the map. "We're clear." He said. "Filch is back on the 3rd floor."
Sirius suddenly pulled Gemma even closer to him and for a second her heart stopped.
He's going to kiss me.
Please kiss me.
Then he pushed her backwards and out of the space, him following close behind.
"Let's go." He said, wrapping the cloak around them.
Gemma followed his lead but was no longer paying attention.
Why did I think he was going to kiss me?! Why did I want him to kiss me?! I don't want that! Sirius is a friend.
A hot friend. Who I fancy.
What is happening to me?! Damn it! The girls have gotten inside my head!
They returned to the common room and Gemma started to head straight up to bed.
"Aren't you going to finish your essay?" Sirius asked.
Gemma turned to him. "No." She said. "I'll do it tomorrow morning, before breakfast."
Sirius nodded. "Night then." He said, watching her leave.
"Night." Gemma said, not looking at him and running up the stairs.
What is wrong with me! What the hell am I feeling?
Sirius is a friend. That's all.
And yes... I fancy him. But that doesn't mean anything. People fancy people all the time.
So what if we flirt a little. That's just our friendship. That's how we get along. It doesn't have to mean anything.
I don't want a relationship and I know he doesn't either. We're friends.
Stop this nonsense Gemma! Stop getting distracted!
Gemma closed her eyes and focused her mind on school and becoming an Auror. Yet, somehow, Sirius still entered her mind.
The rest of May was difficult for Gemma, and by the time June arrived, she was feeling frustrated.
She had remained on edge about that evening with Sirius, reading into every moment they shared together.
Luckily, they had mountains of homework to get through, so Gemma was focused on that. But it didn't stop her mind constantly wandering to Sirius and what she wanted from him.
She found herself pulling away from him. Spending less time around him, and actively avoiding situations when it would just be the two of them.
"Hey." Sirius called to her, as he fell into step with her. "Have you been ignoring me?"
Gemma turned to look at him. They were walking down the corridor between classes. And they were alone.
Crap. I wasn't paying attention.
And yes, I have been ignoring you but only because it's stressing me out that I want to kiss you.
Or... I think I want to kiss you.
"No." She replied. "Just been busy."
Sirius glanced at her. "Ok." He said, clearly unconvinced.
Things fell silent between them and for the first time, Gemma felt uncomfortable. Usually she feels comfortable around Sirius, even when they are both quiet. But not anymore.
If we weren't friends, I would just snog him and be done with it!
But we are friends... so I can't snog him! Not without ruining our friendship.
As they walked towards Potions, they turned the corner and saw Regulus Black in front of them. Gemma sensed Sirius tense next to her.
They continued walking, but Sirius was slowing.
What is he doing? Gemma thought. Don't start anything now.
"Regulus." Sirius suddenly said, stopping completely in front of his brother.
Gemma stopped too, unsure whether to continue or not. She awkwardly stood to the side.
"Sirius." Regulus said, turning towards him. He looked over at Gemma. "Arwin." He sneered at her.
Gemma threw him a fake smile, then moved away. She glanced back over her shoulder and could see Sirius was saying something, but Regulus clearly wasn't listening.
Leave it Gemma. It's family stuff. Sirius will include you if he wants to.
She continued to Potions and sat with Alice. But her eyes kept glancing at the door, waiting for Sirius to arrive.
"What are you looking at?" Alice asked, glancing behind them.
"Just looking out for Sirius." Gemma explained. "He stopped to talk to Regulus."
"Uh oh." Alice replied. "What about?"
"No idea." Gemma said. "He just stopped. I carried on. Not really my place to be listening in."
Alice nodded then joined Gemma in keeping an eye on the door. James was also glancing behind him.
Just as Slughorn stepped up to the front, Sirius rushed in. He threw his bag down and sat next to James. Gemma watched James say something to him, then Sirius shake his head.
Concentrate on class. Stop getting distracted!
Gemma focused on Potions, resisting the urge to glance over at Sirius. At the end of class, she headed over to him and James.
"Hi." Gemma said, smiling at both of them.
James smiled at her, but Sirius ignored her. Then he walked off. Gemma watched him go, glancing back at James.
"He was in a mood all class." James said. "What happened on the way here? He was fine in Charms, then he said he wanted to speak to you, and now he's being like this. Have you 2 fallen out?"
Gemma shook her head. "No." She said. "But we saw Regulus just outside. He stopped to talk to him."
"What did he say?" James asked.
"I don't know." Gemma replied. "I didn't stay to listen. It wasn't my place."
James looked back towards the door where Sirius had exited. "Maybe." He said.
"You think we should be joining Black family conversations?" Gemma asked.
James looked back at her. "I think we should check Regulus isn't screwing with Sirius's head." He said, looking concerned. "You and Sirius weren't that close when he still lived with his family. They're fucked up, Gemma. They get inside his head and they twist everything he knows. He lived in a dark place for a long time. If he's talking to Regulus again... we definitely need to know about it."
Gemma took a deep breath. Wow. I hadn't realised it was so bad.
"What do you suggest we do?" Gemma asked now.
"Me and the guys will talk to him." James said. "We've dealt with this before. But if you see him and Regulus talking again, interrupt them."
Gemma raised her eyebrows at him. That doesn't seem like a good idea.
"Trust me." James said, seeing her reaction. "He won't like you for it at first, but he'll thank you for it later." James smiled at her then headed off.
Gemma headed back to the common room and spent the afternoon with the girls.
"Girls!" Mary cried, gathering them together. "Update on the Stephen situation!"
They all smiled and leaned in to her.
"He pulled me aside earlier and asked if he could write to me over the holidays!" Mary said, beaming. "Obviously I said yes!"
"That's amazing!" Alice cried. "I'm glad I pushed you into him now."
After months of Mary being too scared to approach Stephen, Alice had ceased an opportunity and pushed Mary into him in the corridor.
It had been unbelievably unsubtle and highly embarrassing for Mary, but apparently Stephen hadn't cared.
He had galiantly caught her and their conversation had began. It seemed he had his eye on her as well.
"That was still the most embarrassing moment of my life, Alice." Mary said now. "But... it worked. So thank you."
She smiled at Alice and Alice and beamed back.
"Promise we'll all write to each other too?" Lily asked now.
"Of course, Lily." Gemma replied. "We always do."
"I know." She said. "I just like to make sure."
Alice laughed. "Well, promise us you will let us know as soon as you get the Head Girl position!" Alice said.
"I might not get it." Lily replied.
They all laughed. "You absolutely will get it, Lily!" Mary cried. "And no doubt Remus will get Head Boy."
"I hope so." Lily says.
"Shall we play some cards?" Mary asks. "It's so nice not to have any homework to do! Plus I'm determined to win at least one game this year!"
"We could be playing for a while then..." Lily said, grinning at Mary. They all burst out laughing.
"Lily Evans!" Alice cried. "Loving the sass!"
Lily laughed a little, already feeling guilty. "Sorry, Mary." She said. "I couldn't resist."
"It's fine." Mary said, laughing too. "It just makes me want to beat you even more."
They headed to the table and Lily dealt the cards. And after many, many games... Mary finally won.
It was approaching the last day of term and Gemma was returning a selection of books from the library. She turned a corner and saw Sirius and Regulus talking.
She hadn't seen Regulus since just before that Potions class, and she was still trying to avoid Sirius when she could.
He hadn't seemed to mind though. It was obvious he too was distracted.
And I can guess what has been distracting him.
I don't want to interrupt... but James said I should.
She started to move towards them, picking up bits of their conversation.
"Regulus, please." Sirius said to him. "Joining them isn't the answer. You're better than this. You know what is right."
Gemma slowed. Joining them? Joining who? The Death Eaters?
This is definitely not a conversation I should be involved in...
"I do know what is right." Regulus said now. "And joining them was the right thing to do."
"Was?" Sirius asked. "Regulus… have you already…?"
Regulus lifted his sleeve. Gemma couldn't see what he was showing Sirius, but she didn't need to. She watched Sirius's face pale.
Oh shit. He hasn't.
Regulus suddenly turned and walked away, towards Gemma. He sneered at her as he past her.
Gemma focused on Sirius though. He leant back against the wall, running his hand through his hair. He looked devastated.
Gemma slowly approached him. She didn't know what to say, so she just leant up against the wall next to him.
They stood in silence for a while, Gemma letting her hand hang loosely at her side. She wanted Sirius to know she was there, if he needed her, so she inched her hand slowly towards his.
Her fingers grazed against his hand, and when he didn't pull away, Gemma moved it more boldly towards him.
She wrapped her fingers through his, and felt him squeeze her hand tightly. She squeezed back.
They stood together for a while, holding hands, before eventually Sirius pushed himself off the wall.
He didn't let go of her hand, and instead lifted it slightly, his thumb caressing it. He stared down at their hands entwined together, while Gemma watched him.
"Thanks." He said, finally looking up and looking at her.
Gemma's heart ached as she saw the sadness in his eyes. Without hesitating, she closed the small gap and pulled him into a hug.
She raised herself onto her toes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and neck. She felt him slowly close his arms around her, then squeeze her tightly as he embraced the hug.
Gemma's hand moved to the back of his neck, and she found herself running her fingers through his hair.
Slowly they pulled apart, and Sirius's hands moved to cup the sides of her face. He kept her where she was, leaning his forehead against hers.
Is he going to kiss me?
He closed his eyes, and sighed. "Thanks for being here, Gem." He said.
He then lifted his head, and almost immediately, he had pulled back from her, creating a wide space between them.
Gemma stared at him. "Are you going to be ok?" She asked, quietly.
Sirius nodded. "I'll be fine." He said. "I shouldn't have been surprised. I knew this day would come." He shrugged, and started to turn. "We should go back to the common room."
Gemma nodded, walking just behind him. "Unless..." She said, before pausing. "Maybe you should go somewhere quiet. Somewhere you can sit and think. The common room will be busy."
Maybe the Astronomy Tower will be a more relaxing place for you, Sirius.
He stopped and turned to look at her. Then he smiled slightly. "Maybe." He said.
He paused for a moment, and Gemma waited patiently to see which way he would turn.
"Come with me?" He suddenly said, and Gemma was surprised. "To the Tower."
Gemma nodded slowly. "Of course." She said.
Sirius turned and started walking towards the tower. Gemma followed, with neither of them speaking.
They climbed the stairs in silence and sat at the top, staring out into the sky, constantly in silence.
Gemma stole a few glances in Sirius's direction, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
Should I say something?
Maybe not. He clearly wants quiet. I'm not sure why I'm here, actually. I feel like I should leave him alone.
But I don't want to. He's upset. He's processing a lot. I'll be the friend he needs and I'll sit here.
I'll wait for him.
As darkness fell, Sirius began to move. "I might head back." He said, starting to stand.
"Ok." Gemma said, moving to stand too. Sirius placed out his hand, which Gemma accepted, and he pulled her up.
"Thank you." He said again. "For staying with me."
"Anytime, Sirius." Gemma said. She placed her hand on his arm, and smiled up at him.
He gave her a small smile back, then moved towards the stairs. They descended together and returned to the common room.
It was late enough for Sirius to head straight up to bed, without suspicion. And Gemma decided to do the same.
The following day, Gemma spent most of it in her dorm with the girls, packing up their things.
When they went for dinner, Sirius wasn't there, and Gemma didn't see him that evening either.
I really hope he's ok. I hope he's opened up to the guys, so they can keep an eye on him.
As they leave Hogwarts the following morning, Gemma spots Sirius just ahead of her, with James, Remus and Peter.
She notices that he still looks unhappy, and she tries to catch his eye. He sees her, throwing her a small smile, before looking away.
The train back was long and painful. The girls wanted to talk about the year just gone and the summer ahead, but all Gemma could think about was Sirius.
When they arrived back at Kings Cross, Gemma said goodbye to the girls and they made promises to write. Julie came over to join her, getting a lift home with Cynthia.
"Bye Gemma, Julie." James called, as he walked past with Sirius.
"Bye James." Gemma replied. "Bye Sirius."
Sirius looked up at her. "Bye Gemma." He said, smiling his sad smile.
"What's wrong with him?" Julie whispered, as they started to leave.
"It's complicated." Gemma replied. "He'll be ok though. I'm sure of it."
Julie nodded and smiled, looping her arm through Gemma's. They followed Cynthia, heading back to their village and making plans for the summer.