I sing and play my heart out during our set, being stressed about this thing with Emily and not understanding or want to try and understand what's even going on. Maybe it's because I'm used to getting a bird to date me easily. I make eye contact with her once to see her looking at me with a hard look on her face, hard to read and I look away and bring my eyes to my fingers on the fret of my guitar. We had finished the set and we were all packing up in back when Emily comes into what we made our little dressing room and she leans there in the door way and I huff closing my guitar case.
"What's this about me being jealous?" she says and I walk towards her.
"I asked if you were jealous of Stephanie." I say walking back to my stuff and opening up my case and taking my pics off the table and sticking them in there.
"Why would you ask if I'm jealous?" she says a bit angry.
"Why would you care if I liked that girl, if I was flirting with her and hell if I occasionally help her in math class? Why would you care if I was dating her?" I say looking at her and walking towards her to stop in front of her.
"Why have you all of a sudden cared about me this past week?" she says and I can't resist and I put my hand on her cheek and touch my lips to her irresistible lips as I had wanted to do from the beginning. Her lips were sharp and still against mine and she pushed me away and stood there bewildered.
"That's why I punched Ben, why I care about you all of sudden, why I wonder if yer jealous, and why I didn't dance with Stephanie." I blurt out as she looks at me and I can't tell what she's thinking and oh how I wish I knew what she was thinking.
"I can't do this, Paul." she says and immediately turns on her heel to leave and I let her walk away from me. I lean against the doorframe and cover my face with my hands as I can't believe what I just did. I might've just ruined our friendship, our small one at that and that little chance at a relationship with her. Her saying what she did made me lose all hope in seeking her out and with that I grab my jacket and guitar and leave the hall and end up going to the pub with John and having a few beers to forget what happened earlier and I'm surprised I remember the events of that night and I guess you could say our first kiss, now over a decade later. I spent the whole weekend with John playing our guitars and venting to him about it and how badly I messed up as he listened politely and told me to wait it out and not think about it so much. He doesn't get it though, there's just something about her that no other bird I've met or seen has and I might've just lost her, not that she was ever mine in the first place but we at least talked and hung out.