AN: So yeah. I hope the last chapter was good. This chapter will focus more on bella and the gang. So they moved back home and they will all start new.

Oh and the song for this chapter has to be "You gotta be strong" by Des'ree. I love that song and I think it would fit this chapter.

Chapter Thirteen:

You Gotta Be Strong

Bella's POV

Home.

Home sweet home.

I was back in phoenix and I couldn't help the smile that came to my face even if I was heart broken.

This was real.

It was time to move on and continue with my own life.

I lost him twice and I will live on. I have to be strong and continue on with jari and the rest of the people that love me.

It was time to start fresh and new.

And I was ready.

"Emmett, let's go to the cemetery. I think I should visit my mother" he looked at me and gave me a smile. "sure bells. Let me finish here and I'll get ready" I nodded and headed down the three flights of stairs my mother had in this house. I never understood why she loved big houses but I loved it. I grew up here. This was my childhood home. Jari was sleeping in my old room while I took over the guest room downstairs. Emmett and rose were sleeping in the third floor room. Jasper and alice were staying in the second floor and Charlie and I were sleeping downstairs. He didn't want to sleep in the same bed he and my mother were in. he said it brought too much memories of her and he didn't want to wake up to an empty spot next to him.

I understood him. So instead we decided to lock up the room and keep it safe from everyone else. Only Charlie and I were allowed in that room. "Hey bells. Where do you want this frame at?" I looked over at Charlie and smiled. It was a big picture frame of me and jari and him sitting down in a small bench. It was suppose to be a family photo but Laurent never knew she was born. "Put it in my room. Behind my bed in the top" he nodded and headed for the stairs. I walked into the big living room to find Jacob standing in front of a rocking chair my mother had. She always sat there while me and Jacob talked about the stupidest things to her. I waked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Feels empty in here doesn't it?" I looked up at him and met his watery eyes. "yeah it's empty" he let out a shaky laugh and ran his hand over the chair. He let out a sad sigh and released my grip from him. He walked over to the door and stepped outside. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. This was harder for him since he was the one who was with her in her final moments. I walked over to the window and saw him sitting on a swing set Charlie had made for me when I was younger. I smiled and turned around walking to the door. I smiled as the sun hit my skin. I took in a deep breath and sighed in content. I took off my shoes and walked on the hot ground towards the swing set. I sat down next to Jacob and smiled as I looked at the sun. closing my eyes and letting the heat warm my face.

"Feels good to be back doesn't it?" he chuckled and nodded "yeah it does. Feels good to be back where it all happened. Where we all met and loved." I turned to face him and smiled. Jacob always understood my feelings. Jacob and I dated when I was younger. I was nine and he was ten. We didn't know anything at that time. he was my first kiss and I will never forget that day. "Jake, you remember the first time you kissed me?" he chuckled and began to move forward and backwards along with the swing set. "yeah I do. I won't forget that day" I chuckled and nodded. "I fell off this exact swing and you came running to me when I began to cry. You held me up and hugged me tightly and told me everything was okay. Then you just, kissed me. it was sweet and loveable. I remember going to my room and I couldn't stop smiling. Even when my knee was killing me" we both laughed at the memory. I sighed and began to swing myself. "things changed when I met Laurent didn't they?"

He looked over at me and nodded. "things always change bells. But when you met him everything changed. Not only for me and you but your mom and dad were always constantly arguing about you being with him." I nodded and bit my lip looking down at my feet. "But they only argued because they didn't want you with him. Charlie would go to my house and talk to my dad while I tried to comfort your mother. She cried a lot bells. But she always said as long as you were happy she would be happy" I looked up at him and gave him a weak smile. "I know she didn't like him. She would tell me he wasn't good enough for me but I never listened I thought I was in love. But I wasn't. but then I got pregnant and I couldn't let the baby die. She was part of me. It was inside me for nine months and I took care of it. after I gave birth I realized, I loved that baby even when it wasn't born yet. And if he couldn't love the baby I couldn't love him.

"and mom. She was so happy and sad at the same time. she held her once before they took her so I could rest. And then I woke up to find Charlie crying and then to hear the news" I shook my head and sighed. "Bella, I was with her." I looked at him and waited for him keep on going. "she told me to tell you, that she loved you. that she never had been happier to have a daughter like you. she said to me, that you were going to be a great mother and that she loved you both but she had to go" I blinked a few times as the tears fell. "why didn't you tell me before?" I wasn't angry at him. I was hurt that through all that suffering I did he didn't tell me. "she told me to wait until we came back home to tell you. She said something about you coming back to her and then she took one last breath…." He paused and looked down at the ground. Kicking the rocks that were lying around. I jumped out of the swing and hugged him tightly to me. "Thank you" I whispered and I held my grip tighter on him.

"For what bells?"

"For everything. For always being there for me. For taking care of me. for loving me and jari. For always being around me and my family. For telling me my mother's last few words" he hugged me back and sighed into my shoulder. I knew it hurt him more than it hurt anyone else. After everything that happened I was thankful and happy I still had him in my life.

"Bella, Jacob! Dinner time!" we let each other go and looked at alice who was waving her hand for us to come inside and eat. "Let's go Jacob" he nodded and stood up. He stopped me before he moved another inch. I raised and eye brow at him and watched as a mischievous smile came up to his lips. "I'll race ya" I laughed. He was such a kid. "you're on!" I ran before he would even register what I said. I was smiling. In my head I was chanting telling myself I was going to win. Then I saw Jacob run ahead of me and turned around and stuck out his tongue at me. we reached the porch and we were both gasping for air. "you…cheated!" I managed to say with the lack of oxygen I had. He shook his head and shrugged. "Come I'm starving" I laughed and wrapped my arm around his waist. We walked in and sat down in the big dining room table as alice and Rosalie set the table up. Jari came walking down the stairs with a pink dress on and her hair tied up in a bun with lose curls coming down. I smiled as she walked over to me. "Hi mommy, look" she twirled around and smiled "I look pwetty" I chuckled and nodded.

"you're always pretty baby. don't ever forget that" she giggled and jumped into my lap. Alice made stuff chicken breast with bacon wrapped around it along with a salad and mash potatoes. I sniffed the air and hummed in content. "smells good alice" she smiled and said thank you. once everyone was seated we all put food on our plates and began to eat. Jacob and emmett had an eating competition.

Guess who won.

Emmett.

I chuckled as Jacob ran to the bathroom and locked the door. That is what happens when you try to out eat emmett. Alice and Rosalie shook their heads and headed to the sink to wash dishes. Jari went up to her room, and Charlie sat down looking out the window. "Dad, what's wrong?" he looked over at me and gave me a weak smile. "it's just. I miss your mother" I sighed and stood from my chair and walked over to him. I hugged him to myself and rocked him side to side. "I know dad. I miss her too" he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tightly.

"Hey bells. Ready to see her?" I turned to face emmett and nodded. "want to come with me dad? It's only a few minutes away" he shook his head no and turned to face the window again. "alright dad. I'll be back" I kissed the top of his head and headed out the door with emmett. This was going to be the first time I got to see her. I was able to go to her funeral because of the way I took it. but now I was only hoping I could be brave enough to see her.

We walked for a few minutes before passing a sign that said "Saint Peter's Cemetery" I sighed and followed emmett inside. We walked passed so many tomb stones I was beginning to freak out. Maybe he forgot where she was. maybe he didn't want me to see her just yet. He stopped in front of a pink angel tomb stone and turned around to face me. "I'll give you a moment alone" I nodded as he walked away from it. I kneeled down and stared at it for a moment. I ran my fingers across her name and let out a sob escape my lips. "Mom.." I placed my hand on my lap and just stared at her tomb stone. The tears kept on flowing but I couldn't believe I was here. I was sitting down here and looking down at her.

"I miss you mom. Every day, every minute. Every second of my life I miss you. jari is big now. She's three. Her birthday is coming soon. It's going to be hard on me mom. You left me, after I gave birth to her. Why? Why couldn't you wait!" another sob escaped my lips as I held tightly to the ground. "I'm not mad at you mom. I'm mad at myself for not being able to tell you I loved you. so much. I'm mad that I couldn't be with you in your final hours." I shook my head and sighed.

"don't worry mom. I'm a big girl now. I'm strong I can live and learn to forgive myself. I know your in a better place watching over me and jari and everyone else. Dad misses you. he wont sleep in the same room that you two shared. He doesn't want to wake up alone in the mornings. He expects you to be lying next to him. The room is locked. No one is allowed in except me and him. Everything you had is still there mom. I moved back home mom." I wiped away my tears and tried to smile. "I met someone mom. He thought me how to love. But I kept him from his new born baby and I let him go. But I loved him. Still love him mom. What do I do? I miss him terribly and I cant seem to know what to do."

I sighed and looked back at emmett. He gave me a smile and I smiled back. I faced the tomb stone again and began to speak. "his name is Edward mom. He was sweet and nice to me. he loved jari very much too." I sighed again and traced her name again. "I have to go mom. I'll be back tomorrow" I leaned in and kissed the tomb stone and stood up. I walked over to emmett and gave him a watery smile.

"Ready to go home now bells?"

I nodded and held him tighter to me.

"Let's go home"