"Ginger Snaps: Memories"
13. A Sick Day, Part II
Ginger turns to her left, to the cooler side of the pillow and immediately feels like she's this ball of flame descending upon a helpless block of ice. Even as she feels her cheek settle into the curves of the pillow, she knows that it's heating up.
Maybe this is it, she thinks, maybe this is the path to death. Her entire body aches, her throat is dry and her pulse is in that dry throat – the feverish world is swaying in and out, closer and away, as if placed on a gyroscope on crack... on acid.
She drinks some water. Only helps momentarily, and as soon as she swallows it, she wants more – there is a limit to how much she can drink, she knows. Another method they haven't considered. Electrolyte poisoning.
Why are we always bypassing poisonous options, she wonders; why aren't we going with cyanide and arsenic and mushrooms or plain old alcohol? Antifreeze, maybe. Some of that cleaning shit Pam has downstairs.
A part of her answers: because you are the poison. You have been slowly poisoning yourself and Brigitte for both your lives, and every day you increase the dose a little more – Franny Beckowit was simply the beginning. The Pact was sealed then, and every day since then, you kill her a little bit more and you kill yourself a little bit more. You haven't really given any of the methods any consideration, because they will not kill you, they aren't the ones to do the actual deed.
The methods of suicide, the nooses and razors and guns and poison are just annotations on the final chapter. You are the actual suicide. You are the slow death.
Ginger turns to her right, to the cooler side of the pillow and immediately feels like she's this ball of flame descending upon a helpless block of ice. Even as she feels her cheek settle into the curves of the pillow, she's aware that she's only trying to turn her back on the thought.
She sees light bleeding through the small window and wonders if there really is a world outside.
Ginger wonders how Brigitte is doing.