A/N: Aren't you guys so proud of me, updating before a whole year has passed. Haha. As usual thanks to the readers for all of the support! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter.

Break You

Chapter 13

Lunch during school hours had become a dull affair for Nene. Since all of the people she usually sat with were gone, she had taken to eating her Russia Sushi leftovers in the office for the Raijin Journal during her lunch hour. Jun would sometimes be there proof-reading and editing articles, but they rarely spoke. Having parents who were both award-winning investigative journalists, Jun harboured an almost unhealthy compulsion to spread the truth like it was a venereal disease. Nene, on the other hand, was bored and happened to have a camera. Their level of repulsion was almost of magnetic.

Unfortunately, term was coming to a close at an alarming rate, meaning that the deadline for the final journal, which was usually twice as long and did a special feature looking back on all the things that had happened that year, was approaching. And since most of the staff had been made up on third-years the momentous task was left almost entirely up to Jun and a handful of second years, who were beginning to crack under the pressure.

"Have you had the photos developed?" Jun asked prissily as she stood over Nene's desk that afternoon.

Nene, who had been browsing online for graduation gifts, lifted her head up from the computer and stared at Jun.

"Which photos?"

Jun's lips pursed into a thin line. "The photos of the third years' final weeks."

Nene yanked open her desk drawer, pulled out an envelope and handed it to a flabbergasted Jun. Nene would never admit it, but screwing with Jun was one of her favourite pastimes, in that sense she wondered if she shared more interests with Izaya than she had originally thought.

As Jun flicked through them, her face morphing from cool apathy, to a faint blushing pink, she handed them back to Nene. "These are… good." They were better than good, and they both knew it. "Have them scanned onto the computer and emailed to me."

Nene yanked open her desk drawer again, pulled out a floppy disk and handed it to Jun, before returning to her browsing.

"Well… thanks," muttered Jun, at loss for words. "You can go home for the night."

Neither of the two had realised, however, that a begrudging respect had begun to grow.

Nene's evenings, after her shift was over, fared better. Shizuo's absence at school was made up for by his insistence to walk her home. It had taken a disgruntled Shishizaki to make her realise that it was just an excuse to spend time with her not that Shizuo thought she was irresponsible and couldn't take care of herself.

"I thought dense people like you only appeared in Shoujo mangas," Shishizaki had dryly quipped. "Soon flowers will start exploding from your bum as you stare longingly into each other's eyes."

Except, every time she entertained thoughts that Shizuo wanted her as more than just a close friend, she remembered how he had turned away from her and since their trip to the zoo he hadn't so much as brushed her arm. It was difficult to believe Shishizaki or Kimi when they said that Shizuo had feelings for her. If she started to believe it and it turned out not to be true… well she didn't know if she would be able to bear it so well a second time.

Every night as she lay in bed, caught in the interim moments between wake and sleep, she told herself this was the reason for her hesitation, the fear of disappointment, unaware that her hand was straying to the bracelet, Izaya's grinning face swimming around her subconscious. She never remembered her dreams after she woke up, but a guilty feeling would be ever-present in the background when she was with Shizuo. It was a strange sensation, like she had gobbled up the last slice of cake without asking if anyone else wanted it.

"You're quiet today," Shizuo remarked as they walked up the steps to her apartment.

"It was really busy tonight," Nene muttered before letting out a big yawn, not bothering to cover her mouth. "Hmm, I've been meaning to ask, how's the job hunt going?"

Shizuo made a face and Nene knew not to press the subject. Letting out another yawn, she opened the door and stepped through, leaving it open for Shizuo to follow her in. After a few paces she turned back, surprised to see him lingering on the porch.

"You're not coming in?" She walked back over to him.

"You should sleep, I'll see you tomorrow," he said, smiling that gentle smile of his and turned to leave.

"Stay," she exclaimed, gripping the side of his coat.

She always hated seeing him go, but this was the first time she had had the courage to stop him. Even if they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, even if he didn't see her that way, she still felt that there was something between them that gave her that right to demand he stay. Maybe it was because it was too early and that if she let him go now, next time he wouldn't come at all.

There was a lot more space in her bedroom now that her beloved desk was gone. She used to have to suck in her stomach and bend six different ways just to get in and out. Now the door swung open unimpeded. She had to admit her heart sunk a little every time she heard that long eerie creak.

Shizuo shut the door behind him, an indecipherable expression on his face. She had seen it several times before, but had yet to crack it, which both frustrated and thrilled her analytical senses. He resumed his usual spot on the bed while Nene flitted about putting their coats and bags away and offering refreshments.

"Still think you should sleep," said Shizuo, watching her warily.

"I will. Anyway, if I go to bed too early I'll mess up my sleeping pattern," she said, plonking down on the desk chair and rubbing her eyes. "Plus, it's Saturday tomorrow so I can sleep in."

"You eat something yet?"

"You really need to stop treating me a kid."

"Can't help it when you act like a brat."

Normally a vein would have popped up on Shizuo's head but the indecipherable expression persisted instead.

"I ate some leftovers at the restaurant," Nene grumbled.

"Hm."

"Would you like to try out some more relaxation techniques?" This was usually her go-to subject whenever she felt things were getting awkward. "Could help you in job interviews," she added meaningfully.

"I'm good," he said tersely.

"Are you-"

"Why don't you come on the bed?"

Nene's mouth hung open. If it were anyone else she would have accused them of being a creep, but it was Shizuo and it was hard to think of him as anything but… pure. In fact, she was starting to feel a little ashamed of the blush that had sprung to her cheeks and the subsequent thoughts that were going through her mind.

Kimi-chan was right, she was a closet pervert.

Not questioning it, because closet perverts took every opportunity they could get, she transferred over to the bed where she sat down cross-legged beside Shizuo. Shizuo caught her off guard when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed her into his side.

"Now sleep."

"I told you-"

"I'll be here when you wake up," he said softly. "So just sleep moron."

Overcome by the warmth, she felt herself being carried away into a guiltless sleep and for the first time in weeks, Izaya was light-years away from her mind.

She had one last thing to say before her eyes closed, something she would forget come morning. But Shizuo would remember. Six years from now he would remember the roughness of her voice as he barely managed to discern the words.

"I wish you could stay forever."

Nene woke up to find herself half on top of Shizuo, still snoring away. She was surprised at how calm she was, at how natural it felt to have him there. One arm was flung over his eyes and the other was curled around her neck, fingers disappearing underneath her messy snare of locks.

She gently patted his cheek to wake him up, choking when his arm constricted and put her into a headlock.

"Nnnnggg," he groaned, woken up by her flailing fists and muffled gags. Cracking an eye open, he looked down at her and let go. "My bad."

Gasping for breath, her face ruddy with sweat, she fixed him with a look of amazement. "How have your family survived this long?"

"Keep talking and you won't survive the next five minutes," Shizuo growled, but his sleepy voice took all the menace out of it. "What -ugh- time is it?"

"Ten something."

Suddenly Nene's face was being smushed back into his chest by a large, overpowering hand.

"Sleep," he grunted.

So they stayed in bed, Shizuo snoring away, Nene trying and failing to escape from the vice grip around her head. She reasoned that she may as well try to enjoy the warmth while it was there. If they got out of bed, there would be no excuse to be this close. As it was, it was getting harder and harder to convince herself that this was all just platonic. Not that she minded.

When it rolled round to twelve o'clock, Nene's stomach started to grumble and she decided to forcefully wake him up… by poking his eyes. After all, if there was one thing that had to be vulnerable on his body, it would be his eyes.

"Argh," he growled, shooting out of the bed, hands shielding his eyes. "Fuck die fuck."

Shizuo's frenzied bloodshot eyes fixed onto her.

Nene rolled her head round. "It's midday and my neck was getting stiff."

"Nnnnggg…whatever."

"Breakfast?" she suggested, more chipper than usual as she leaped off the bed and bounded out the door.

"Hm."

"There's not much, just some cereal. Neither of us has had the time to go shopping," she told him as she rifled through the kitchen cupboards while Shizuo tried to stay awake on the couch. "There might be some cake around here somewhere. The Landlord's wife is always giving us stuff. I think she feels sorry for us because she thinks we're prostitutes."

Shizuo made a face, but it was too early in the morning to reach over and smack her round the head.

Fist-pumping her triumph when she found the Tupperware box marked Dorayaki, she turned round. A yelp of surprise escaped her, and the box dropped on the floor, opening and spilling its contents.

"Hmm," said Shizuo, cocking his head round to see what happened. "Oh… Yo Shishizaki."

In the middle of their living room/kitchen, Shishizaki stood frozen, a grimace on his face. His hair was sticking up oddly and his clothes were rumbled, especially his shirt, which was half-tucked out.

Not waiting to give either of them a chance to speak, Hajime launched into a garrulous ramble.

"Nene-chan! I didn't realise you were still here hehe, Kimi said that you normally left early to go to the library and oh look there's Shizuo. Yay Shizuo. Long time no see. Well that's not true; we saw each other yesterday. Ahah how you doin' Shizuo?"

What Hajime was saying fell into line with things that didn't annoy Shizuo, although the manner in which he spoke them, a particularly high pitched squeal, normally would have. However, since the younger male had just woken up from one of the best sleeps he'd had in a long time (bar the eye-poking) he decided to let it go.

"Good," Shizuo answered.

"Great, great. Wait… did you stay the night?"

There was a pause before the blonde nodded. Nene was too busy staring longingly at the Dorayaki to notice.

"So you two are going out now?"

Nene's head shot up, having finally caught wind of the conversation. She was just about to explain that it wasn't like that when Shizuo spoke up.

"Yeah."

Huh… what? She turned and stared gapingly at Shizuo.

"What?" Shizuo asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Congratulations guys!" exclaimed Shishizaki, jumping from toe to toe. "So when did this happen?"

Nene hadn't moved a muscle, still reeling from what Shizuo had said and had yet to remember how to operate her voice box, eyes fixed on him in a permanent state of shock.

"Seriously, what date?"

Shizuo turned back to Shishizaki, scowling. "How many questions are you gonna ask?"

The older boy winced. Unbeknownst to Shizuo, there was a pool going on and if they had started going out after finals, Shishizaki would have won.

"Actually, I would also like to know when this happened." Suddenly Hajime's tall muscular form was shoulder to forehead with Kimi's slender, petite one, a rather grim challenging expression on her face. "Well Nene-chan."

Nene blinked, turning round to see Kimi for the first time. "Huh? Did you say something?"

"How come I wasn't told about this? What happened to full disclosure and all that bullshit?"

Still in a daze, Nene rubbed the back of her neck, trying hard to think back.

"Oi Nene!"

"Why don't we all just calm down?" Shishizaki suggested, touching Kimi's shoulder. She jerked it off.

"Hey Nene-chan, earth to Nene-chan."

Shizuo's face was beginning to spasm. Everyone was being too fucking loud.

"Shizuo… you realise that Shishizaki just asked if you were my boyfriend?" she enquired gently, trying to hold onto her heart. He had probably just misunderstood Shishizaki's question. That was it. There was no way Shizuo thought-

"Yeah."

"S-since when?"

"Since the zoo idiot."

Kimi and Shishizaki, who had by now caught up with the situation stared engrossedly at the pair of teenagers opposite them like they were spectating an impromptu street performance.

"Do you have any popcorn?"

"Shhhhhh."

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" Nene reiterated in a wispy voice while Shizuo stood up and walked over to the door.

"Where the hell are you going?" demanded Kimi.

"For a smoke."

The door slammed shut and the sound seemed to break Nene out of her trance. She was just about to run after him when Kimi jumped in front of her, arms folded across her chest.

"Shoujo mangas got nothing on you Nene-chan," Shishizaki snickered.

Picking up the Tupperware box he had made her drop, Nene chucked it at Shishizaki's head. Of course he caught it. Fucking ninja reflexes.

"Be quiet," Kimi snapped at him and he promptly shut up. "But he's right. We've been telling you for weeks that he likes you. I mean how dense do you have to be-"

"Kimi I have to-"

"He slept over last night and you still didn't think-"

"Kimi-"

"Something was going on-"

"KIMI!" Nene snapped, slamming her fist down on the kitchen counter. Both Kimi and Shishizaki flinched, neither one knowing how to meet the suddenly smouldering black eyes.

Without another word, Nene stormed round her best friend and out the apartment.

Outside, Shizuo was stomping up and down the car park trying to get his anger out, grabbing at clumps of his hair and growling viciously. He had already gone through one cigarette and was starting on the second when Nene found him.

"Fuck sake," he was muttering to himself, his teeth clamping deeply into the cigarette until he could taste tobacco on his tongue. "Fucking Shinra… never listen to that idiot again. Never fucking…"

She approached him cautiously at first, trying to figure out what the best thing to say was so that he wouldn't fly into an uncontrollable rage. Then she realised that with Shizuo it was best to just speak.

"Shizuo."

Shizuo stopped and glared at her. "Eh?"

"Pleasetakecareofme," she blurted out, bowing low.

That's how he knew he liked her. His anger had dissipated in a crack and he was left with a stick of mostly ash hanging from his lip, arms limp at his sides, blinking at this girl who had come into his life and changed every expectation he had ever had about love.

As he pulled Nene up by the shoulders, her eyes unscrewed shut and she gazed up at his face with nervous anticipation. Then, as if some unseen force had taken over him, he leaned down, tilted his head to the side and-

"Excuse me… do you know where I can find Toyoshima Kimi?"

Back in the apartment, Kimi had propped herself against the wall to stop from trembling.

"W-well that was fucking rude," Kimi said, trying to keep her voice even. Except just then that side of Nene had come out, the one that terrified Kimi beyond reason.

Shishizaki let out a low whistle. "I'm just glad no one asked what I was doing here."

Letting out a shaky laugh, Kimi rolled her eyes and slapped his shoulder.

"Hey, we were acting like assholes. She had every right to flip out," said Shishizaki, leaning on the wall beside her.

"It's just not like her," breathed Kimi. Except it was just like Nene. When Nene had hated her. God why did she feel his way, frail like a muslin sheet.

"Everyone has a breaking point."

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"That's probably them," she said, choking back all of her frailty and setting her face into impassivity as she swung the door open.

It cracked instantly.

"Taizo."

"Been a while, Kimi."

Kimi didn't know what else to do so she just stepped back into the apartment and let him in forgetting that Shishizaki was standing a few feet away and probably still smelt of her shampoo and sweat.

"Weren't you just leaving?" Kimi asked Shishizaki, while the two males appraised each other.

Shishizaki didn't need to be told twice. If there was one thing he was good at, it was reading the room, even if he sometimes used that to his advantage to torment people. Nodding once at the visitor, he bowed his head and slipped out of the apartment, leaving them alone.

"Who was that?" Taizo asked softly.

"He's one of Nene-chan's work colleagues," said Kimi, unable to bring herself to tell him the truth. Not that she had to lie. "He came to see her."

"Oh, 'kay," he said, smiling mildly. "You gonna give me a hug then or just stand there like a fish."

They hugged, but it was too tight and too long and she felt her breath hitch before she forcefully unwound herself.

"I've really missed you," he said, still holding her at arm's length.

Taizo had been a handsome man, more handsome than Kenta in Kimi's opinion, but the coma had done him no favours. Before he had had martial artist's physique, almost a hundred percent lean muscle coiled tight around his bones. Now he was all sharp edges and knobbly bones, his clothes hanging off him like he was a hat stand. Around his jaw, flecks of dead skin were peeling off in patches and seemed yellow and crusted in certain places, stark white in others. He used to have a naturally round chubby face with non-existent cheekbones, and now that's all Kimi could see. That and his sunken dark eyes watching her with nothing but devotion, devotion she knew she was unworthy of.

"I've missed you too," she said. And it was the truth, she had missed him, because she had once cared for him, but in the same way that you miss the way you used to feel when you played in the woods as a child and every nook and cranny was a place to embed your imagination.

They sat down for a while and talked like strangers, at least Kimi felt like they were strangers. Things had changed in the months that Taizo had been away. She had learned things about herself, horrible things, about the world, about her best friend. And at the same time she had become solid, if just a little. It was strange and paradoxical, but she felt like all the shit she had been wading in so far had made her cleaner. Maybe it was the perspective she'd gained. Like when you go to Africa and you see how much worse it is for other people and you realise how good you've got it. But it was more likely something else. She knew what really went bump in the middle of the night and it didn't drive her mad, or make her want to kill herself, which scared her the most. She could live with it. Now her nightly rebellions with Taizo seemed so far away. Just like those games she used to play in the woods.

"I don't think we should be together," she said, interrupting him as he was telling her about the big welcome back the gang were having for him and how he wanted her to be there, by his side.

Taizo just stared at her, the smile still on his face. "Look, it's been a while and I don't expect you to be like that with me straight away but-

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Ever. It won't ever be like it was. I'm different. I want different things now."

"Okay," he said calmly. "What things?"

"Other things Taizo, fuck sake," she snapped, more out of guilt than anger. "Things I just can't see coming from you."

He chuckled softly, scrubbing his hair with his nails and looking at her feet, reminiscent of those nervous little ticks he'd displayed when she'd first drunkenly sidled up to him, narrow hips swaying exaggeratedly and demanded he buy her a drink. Except this time a shower of dandruff fell onto his black jacket. She ached at seeing that. But she was Toyoshima Kimi and like hell was she stupid enough to confuse guilt with love.

"Tell me what they are hmm… you don't want me to do drugs, I won't do drugs, okay?" he said.

Kimi shook her head, getting more frustrated by the second. "It's not any of that shit. I'm sorry, but I just don't feel that way about you anymore. I'll always care about you but-"

"Just give it time-"

"Time won't change anything."

"You don't know that."

"Taizo there's someone else okay," she said sharply and a little louder than intended. "I've been fucking someone else."

There was a dull echo that rung in the hollow walls of their shitty apartment. Kimi pressed her fingers to her temples and avoided looking at him. She didn't want to see his face, not so long as he kept smiling that pitiful, puppy dog smile, that delusional smile that he thought would eventually win her over.

"You were happy with me," said Taizo, trying to make sense of things. "You were always saying how happy you were. That I was perfect."

"You were," she spoke evenly trying to give him the explanation he deserved. "But I thought I wanted someone who would worship the ground I walked on. Like I was a princess... My parents—they never treated me like a princess. They treated me like a dog that needed to be fed and groomed and taught not to shit on the carpet, but not a princess. I had servants and nannies and tutors, who did everything for me and I thought that was love. But they were just afraid that they wouldn't get their next paycheque or that the Little Miss would fire them. Fucked up right? I mistook fear for love."

When she looked up, he wasn't smiling, just looking at her.

"I worship the ground you walk on," muttered Taizo, "because I love you."

"Yeah but that's not healthy Taizo," she said, a tired sigh in her voice. "And I know I'm not exactly a poster-child for health but I need to be with someone who makes me want to earn their love not fucking use them."

"So you're saying you were using me?" Taizo said, not judgementally.

"Yeah," she said frankly. "You made me feel like I was invincible and untouchable and I used you because I'm a bitch."

Taizo whistled low under his breath. "Most guys right now would agree," he said, smiling wryly to himself.

She shared the smile. "I wouldn't blame them."

"You know I'm not most guys."

"There are girls out there would be lucky to have you. But it's not me. I mean I always knew I was self-centred, but it took almost losing Nene-chan for me to realise what I was turning into. Fuck, I nearly lost my best friend. You know I can't function without her."

"Yeah," he said, "I know."

"So you understand?"

"No, but you can't force someone to love you right?" he said translucently.

"…No, you can't."

Taizo stood up and went over to the door. "Take care hmm."

The door barely made a sound when it closed... He was always so gentle in everything he did, she thought, slumping into the beaten couch. Sometimes she wished that she had taken the impulsive Kenta home that night rather than the soft-spoken Taizo. She had no idea how much better off she would have been if that had actually been the case.

It would have been too much to expect Heiwajima Shizuo to remember the face of the man he had almost killed. So when Taizo approached the couple in the parking lot outside of Kimi's apartment, Shizuo did not recognise him, which meant that Akiyama Nene did not know who he was. This made inviting her into the diner much easier.

One of his men had been put on her, while Taizo had his revealing talk with Kimi, following her as she went to a bakery with Heiwajima Shizuo and ate a particularly unhealthy lunch. Afterwards, they did grocery shopping and then took the bags back to what was presumably Shizuo's place of residence.

Nene remained there until about seven o'clock in the evening and then exited the house. For a worrying few seconds, it looked as if Shizuo was going to walk her home, but after a few minutes of her shoving him back into his house, she started making her way back alone. By now it had started to rain.

It was when she was passing by a small American style diner at the edge of the Red Light district that Uchida Taizo intentionally bumped into her, knocking her onto her ass and getting all of her clothes. Extremely apologetic, he helped her to her feet and under the pretext of a fake name and using their mutual friendship with Kimi, he managed to convince her to let him treat her to food at the diner.

Author's Note:

... Yep :D