I'm sorry guys it took me this long, again, but finally here it is. Thank you for your support and for your incredible reviews, you know they make my day better. I love you guys, seriously.

Chapter 13

The Misfits

And I remember all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.

...

I could only see darkness and I was lost. I was frightened, I was tired, I was hungry, I wanted to go home..., but where was that? I tried to walk but I couldn't feel anything solid, my hands closed in midair and it was frustrating. I screamed and cried, and called anyone who could hear me and then—I heard something; a deep, coarse laugh who warmed me up and I knew I was safe, I was home. I called him and turned around trying to see him. I extended my arms trying to reach him and I called him: Rhett, Rhett...! But I couldn't find him, why I couldn't find him...?

A tiny foot kicked my stomach and I woke up startled. I blinked at the blinding sun above me and was conscious about the uncomfortable position I had been sleeping on. I held Beau softly against my chest to not wake him up and sat on the cart. Melly was lying next to me too still, but she was breathing, and Prissy had curled up over the trunk lid.

I closed my eyes again, not because I intended to sleep but because I was tired in all possible ways. Rhett had left to war—just that simple sentence was one of my biggest problems. Thinking of him near to shooting men or cannons made me want to cry out of frustration and fear. Then, of course, was our current situation. I was in a ramshackle cart with a very sick Melly, a new-born baby and Prissy, half way to Tara with ruthless soldiers behind us.

I didn't know how but I was going to do it; I was going to survive, I was going to reach home—the only one that I had now.

I woke Prissy; I hid the gun in my skirts and urged the horse. This wouldn't be easy.

It felt like forever, it felt like an endless hell... but we did it.

We were traveling in the dark hungry and with heavy hearts. We came from Twelve Oaks... or what was left of it. The house had been burned down, the stairs and some walls only standing, like a falling soldier. However we found a lost cow and we brought it with us. God knew where else we would find food and I had given almost all little provisions I had brought with me to Melly—she needed more than me or Prissy.

Suddenly the clouds moved, the moonlight shone and Tara appeared before our eyes as our horse fell dead out of exhaustion. But I didn't care; I had reached home, finally.

With Prissy's help I managed to move the cart and the cow as close as the house as we could and then I ran. I knew in my heart it wasn't my home, it wasn't my family, but I couldn't help it, it was the only thing I had now... so I ran.

I pounded at the door calling for Ellen and Gerald that had became my parents, I called Mammy and called Carreen. The door opened slowly and Gerald O'Hara was there, completely disheveled.

"Katie Scarlett," he said as if I was a ghost and I threw at his arms hugging him.

"Oh, I miss you, Dad. I miss you so."

He didn't react at first but then held me tightly.

"Katie... Oh, Katie Scarlet!"

Over his shoulder I saw Mammy coming with a lamp and I pulled back gently and approached the woman. I hugged her too and she padded my back as I felt tears falling down my cheeks.

"Oh, Mammy. Where's Mother? And Carreen?"

"Bow' are very sick, Miz Scarlett. An' Miz Suellen, too. They're upstairs," I felt a wave of relief. She was alive, Ellen was alive.

"Mammy, Prissy it's outside with Melly and her baby. Can you bring them in as I go to see Mother?" I asked them looking at the woman and her face fell.

"Miz Scarlett, Ah not sure af it'z a good idea. Miz Ellen's very sick—"

But I rushed upstairs, not listening.

I didn't call for them even if I wanted, I didn't want to disturb them. I opened rickety door after rickety door until I found Ellen O'Hara lying on a dark room.

"Mother...," in that light I could manage to imagine my own mother and rushed to her side. When she didn't move I feared the worst but when I took her hand her eyelids fluttered open.

"Mother, are you all right?" I asked her in a whisper.

The woman smiled slowly.

"Don't you worry about me, sweetheart," she whispered weakly and closed her eyes a moment. "Where is Scarlett?"

Her question took me by surprise and felt a lump in my throat. Well, maybe she had just confused me with Careen or Suellen.

"I'm here, Mother—"

"No, child. Where's my Scarlett?" she looked at me and smiled, and I could barely felt the squeeze on my hand. "You're look so much like her..."

I swallowed and cast down my eyes. I wasn't really sure what to say, she was really sick but had seen right through me.

"I don't know," I told her, "I don't know where she is."

She squeezed my hand again and I looked up.

"When you see her... please tell her I love her so much," she told me with a sweet smile and peaceful eyes. She didn't look like she was fighting a deadly illness but as she was finally in peace with herself and the world.

"Mrs. O'Hara—"

"And take care of yourself child," I looked at her dumbfounded, she was saying her goodbyes. I heard footsteps and before I could turn Gerald was next to me. I rose from the bed, letting go Ellen's hand reluctantly and the man occupied my place. I moved to the door but I wasn't sure if I should leave.

I heard them talk but I couldn't understand what they were saying so I just watched them. He was leaning over her and he looked in pain. She lifted a hand and caressed his cheek and I couldn't help but thinking of Rhett. Where would he be? And what would he be doing?

Suddenly a bloodcurdling cry startled me and saw Gerald crying over the chest of his wife. I felt my heart constricting and approached slowly to the bed. Ellen O'Hara had he eyes closed and she looked like she was sleeping… but she wouldn't wake anymore.

That night the entire house cried the dead of Ellen O'Hara, well, the ones conscious. Melly was lying now on a bed, next to her baby, and Suellen and Careen had fever. So only Mammy, Pork, Dilcey, Prissy, Gerald and me stood in the foyer, crying.

It seemed like hours until I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to do something.

"Pork—"

"Yes, Miz Scarlett?" The old man said.

"I need you to put the cow I brought in the barn and—"

"There ain't ba'n, anymore, Miz Scarlett. Yankees chopped off the wood and used it as firewood," he responded and my heart sank.

"Yankees used Tara as headquarters, Miz Scarlett," Mammy added and I closed my eyes, feeling suddenly really tired.

"Just bring the cow and the cart in," I told them and left the house, despite everybody in the room was asking me what we're going to do. 'What we're going to eat, Miz Scarlett? They burned down the crops, Miz Scarlett. What we should do with your sisters, Miz Scarlett? ...Miz Scarlett?'

I just climbed the stairs and went to Gerald's office. I found an old bottle of whisky and I poured some into an old wooden cup. I understood now Scarlett, damn; I'd never understood her like in that moment. It didn't make me feel better but it made me feel stronger; if she had survived, I will do it too... somehow.

After that thought, I just cried; cried and cried until I felt asleep.

It wasn't easy, it was ten thousand times worse than the work in the hospital but we managed to cultivate cotton again; it took us three months, in time for my sister's recovery. They weren't happy to be moved from their beds after a horrible and tedious disease to hard and exhausting work in the fields but they did it. Suellen, of course, complained and threw fits and we fought often. She just exasperated me; of course I missed our past life, more than ever and I wanted to be comfortable, I wanted for my mother to come and take inside the house and tell me I wouldn't need to work anymore, that everything will be fine she would fix everything... but that wasn't possible, and if we didn't see for ourselves, nobody else would do.

Melly couldn't do anything, she was still really sick and weak; it took her three months to have enough strength to sit in her bed and take care of her baby and I couldn't ask her more even if I wanted to. And Gerald wasn't any help either. After Ellen died, he lost his mind. He wandered around the house talking as if it were the times before the war, scolding me about my rudeness to everyone else and asking me to go with him for a ride, talking about Ellen as if she were still in her office...

The little food and money I brought with us didn't last long, there wasn't enough and we were too many. When December came we just only ate twice a day and when we almost starved in middle February I had to sell my green bonnet to the Yankees, the one Rhett gave me, but at least we could survive and had food at least once a day. I started to drink as well, I had never liked to be drunk but in that endless hell was the only thing that made me forget how hungry I was, how tired, how hurt..., well, that and Rhett's memories. They were fresher in my memory and the promise of his return, the touch of his books in the night and imagine him coming from war to rescue me from misery kept me alive. And like that, almost without realizing it, I hardened. I shut down my once princess delusions, I didn't ask myself anymore what should Audrey Hepburn do or that I should be a lady, there was no time to be a lady or proper. I was rude with everyone around and when I wasn't tired I was upset. I didn't do kind anymore; I snapped and yelled and scolded, anything to survive, anything to save them.

When I entered the house with a cut in my arm I found Melly half way down the stairs.

"Melly, what on earth are you doing?" I snapped at her, rushing to her side and despite her protests I dragged her to her room softly.

"Scarlett, darling, I must to talk to you. You're always working so hard, please let me help you," she pleaded me with her usual kindness that melt my coldness, but just a little.

"Melly, you need to gain your strength before you can do anything or you will kill yourself. Think about Beau, he needs you," I scolded her but took her by her arm softly as I helped her to return to her room.

"You're... you're right, Scarlett."

"Of course I am," I tucked her in bed and closed the door when I left the room, but some noises I hadn't heard in a while called my attention. They were hooves... hooves clacking against the earthy road.

I rushed to window and peeked outside. A Union soldier just stopped his horse outside the house and jumped down.

I felt my blood frozen and my heart pound in my ears. Oh dear God...! I looked up to Melly's room but the door was closed. At least I shouldn't be worried by her.

I turned to the Yankee again and saw him taking out a gun of his coat and headed to the house. I hid myself, with my heart pounding painfully in my chest. Then I ran as fast as I could to my room where I took from the trunk the gun Rhett gave me that day, hidden beneath books.

I rushed to the stairs again, trying to think clear and stayed in calm—something almost impossible. I took my shoes off to not make any noise and then descended the stairs hearing the intruder ransacking the drawing-room.

I was half way down when my foot made the wood crush out loud and I froze as the man shouted: "Who's there? I'll shoot you...!"

I hid the gun quickly behind me, twisting my body to the wall as the man came out and his bloodshot eyes met mine. A yellow-toothed smirk appeared under his dirty beard, his left disgusting hand holding Ellen's jewelry box under his arm.

"You're alone, little lady?" he asked me putting down his gun and approaching me, cockily. But I didn't respond him, just stared at him with a mix of disgust, anger and fear. I wouldn't do it, I couldn't do it…. The vile rose to my throat just thinking about it but if I didn't shot him he would kill or hurt the others. My heart was pounding in my ears but still I heard every word he said.

"You aren't very friendly, do you?" he looked in the box and took Ellen's pair of golden ear bobs. "Do you have anything else besides these ear bobs?" he looked up to me again.

"Why should I have anything left when you rats stole everything?!" I snapped at him out of bravado or stupidity, but the man just laughed throwing the box away.

"Pretty little spiteful thing are you," and he leered at me in a disgusting way. His eyes narrowed taking in my weird position.

"What are you hiding in your hand?" he asked me, but I just glared at him and he started to climb up to me. I freaked out, my heart going wild. I wanted to run away but I was frozen in my spot and he was closer and closer... I closed my eyes.

There was a shot, a really loud shot, dumbfounded me and I felt back slipping down against wall until I hit the step and the Yankee's lifeless body reached the bottom floor. I dropped the gun and I almost hoped to see him standing and cursing, threatening to kill me..., but he didn't, he just lied there as a broken dirty puppet whose threads had been cut.

A sudden noise made me jump and saw Melly completely pale, dragging Charles's sword but then her eyes met mine and then fell on the Yankee's body.

"Scarlett..., did you kill him?" I didn't answer, but it wasn't necessary. "I'm glad you killed him."

I swallowed. Yes, I had killed him; I had taken his life... I had... I had... no; I hadn't time for losing my mind. I pushed back those thoughts and concentrated at the problem at hand.

And everything happened in a blur. Melly calming down my sisters, saying it was an accident and nobody was hurt. Myself searching the lifeless body and giving Melly the bag of money I found for then covering his bleeding head with Melly's nightgown and dragging him outside to a bush. I wasn't sure how I did it, I knew I wasn't that strong..., but I did it. I hid the body in the bushes. Late that night, I would return with a shovel to bury his body and then I would return to my room to cry my heart out, curling up holding the bracelet Rhett gave me. I slept really badly that night, dreaming about falling in the dark, and Rhett's voice and shots.

The only good thing that came out with the Yankee was money; money that he had stolen but it was very useful to us and we could eat well during March.

It was late April when we saw a dust cloud in the road; someone was coming.

Melly, Carreen and I rushed to the porch and cried at the same time when we saw Ashley.

He stumbled out of his horse and ran to us. Before we could react, Melly was already on her way to her husband. It was a sweet reunion, movie-like, and my heart ached when I thought about Rhett. Rhett, that vermin, where could he be? I just prayed for him to be well.

"The war is over!" They were Ashely's joyful and tired words. I couldn't help but beamed at him. The war was over! The war was finally over! Soon Rhett will be here, and everything would be all right... but before I realized it, another year had passed and Rhett never came.

I was angry and tired. Two weeks ago Frank Kennedy and another eight soldiers had arrived and Melly hadn't had heart to kick them out, so now we have to share our food with them. It was true we had a little more now, but it wasn't that much to give it away. However leave it to Melly be that selfless and stupid.

I was washing clothes outside the house, stirring them in a big cauldron when Pork approached me.

"Miz Scarlett, ma'am—"

"Did you get everything I asked for?" I snapped without look at him, although it wasn't his fault; I'd just had a really bad day.

"Yes, Miz Scarlett, I found everything—"

"Fine, then we could start to plant again. Here, keep moving them," I told him giving him the stick that I was using to wash the clothes and then turned to take a pot with water and added it to the cauldron.

"Miz Scarlett, ma'am… I was wondering how much money ya' got." I looked up to him frowning.

"Ten dollars, why are you asking?"

He shook his head, looking down.

"That won't be enough," he just said and I got exasperated with the man.

"What are you talking about? Speak clearly, Pork!" I snapped, "What are you saying?"

"I heard that white trash, Wilkerson, bragging about his carpetbaggers friends and that they were running taxes high sky in Tara."

I closed my eyes, and rubbed my temples. He had to be kidding..., as if I hadn't enough troubles.

"How much do we have to pay now?" I asked him tiredly, placing my hands on my waist.

"I heard the man say three hundred dollars," the man responded and I opened my eyes wide. Three hundred... three fuc... God! However I kept my poker face to not worrying Pork.

"All right, I'll see what we can do," I told him vaguely but I didn't have the slightest idea.

It was one of the moments where I used to break down so I walked to the empty ruins of the stable and sat in a moldy piece of wood. Those were the moments when I couldn't take it anymore and I used to walk away from the house so the others couldn't see me. I knew if they do, they would break down as well.

I was hunching, my elbows on my knees and my face buried in my hands, breathing sharply. I was thinking about everything; about the money I needed but didn't have, about my past life and how much I missed my mother and friends, and about Rhett. I was wondering why he hadn't returned, why he had left me... I couldn't remember anymore the movie that once obsessed me but just vague things; useless things. I thought I was about to cry but I heard footsteps so I sit straight, annoyed. Why they could just leave me alone for a couple of minutes? Was that so hard to do?

I looked up and saw Ashley walking to me. Once he was close enough he crossed his arms above his chest and leaned back on the burned wall behind him.

"Why are you doing here, my dear? Are you all right?" he asked me concerned and I nodded automatically.

"Yes, everything is fine, Ashley," I responded dryly but he didn't take it personal, everyone was already used to my bad temper.

"Don't lie to me, darling. I know something troubles you; I can see it in your eyes," I sighed and I stood walking inside the burned stable, turning my back on him. I heard him approaching me and when I felt his hand on my shoulder I shrugged it off.

"Don't," I snapped, turning to glare at him. However, he looked ashamed—shocking, I know.

"I'm sorry—I'm sorry about what happened that day, Scarlett," he told me and I sighed. He didn't need to say more, I knew he was talking about our kiss.

"Really?" I quipped, raising an eyebrow but he seemed to mean it.

"Yes, I do. I was confused—," I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Confused? Did I suddenly look like Melly or how I confused you?"

"You were flirting with me all night," he stated easily and I looked at him outraged ready to give him a piece of my mind. "Please, darling I know you did it, but I know why you did it too and because of whom."

I blushed but looked away, crossing my arms.

"I don't know what you are talking about," I responded annoyed, pouting.

"You do love him, don't you, my dear?" Ashley told me suddenly and I looked up to him. "Captain Butler?"

I huffed looking down and sighed.

"Is that obvious?"

"Pretty much, yes," Ashley responded chuckling a little and I smiled lightly.

"I do, Ashley," I looked up to him and said softly, "I'm crazy about that varmint."

He crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, he better not to be a varmint with you, Scarlett," he teased me but his eyes were serious.

"He is all the time, well, he acts like one but—he's not. He was always so sweet and kind, on his own way. He loved teasing me but his intentions were always good, his heart was in the right place even when I couldn't see it—or didn't want to see it, however," I took a deep breath holding back my tears but I knew they wouldn't come out, not in front of Ashley anyway, "it doesn't matter anymore… any of that."

"What do you mean, darling?"

I looked at him with a forced smile but for Ashley's expression it was more like a grimace.

"He's not coming back, he left me... and he won't come back."

"What are you talking about, dear? He lives in Atlanta, doesn't he?"

I shook my head.

"He took us out from Atlanta when the Yankees burned it down. But when we reached Rough and Ready he left."

"He left you with Melanie and Beau in the middle of Rough and Ready alone?!" Ashley cried indignant. "That—!"

"It wasn't his fault, I understood," I interrupted Ashley feeling the need to defend the man who had broken my heart so many times. "He was feeling guilty because he had joined the army so he left to join them in the last battle. Then we came here and I waited and I waited. The war ended and you came but he didn't. He promised me he would... I knew and understood why he was leaving; I know it was to restore his honor but—"

"A man who left three women and a child alone in the middle of a war has not honor, Scarlett," Ashley snapped and I looked up at him. His face was dark and his expression severe. I hadn't seen that expression in Ashley before. "He doesn't deserve any of your tears, my dear. And it's obvious he won't come back or he had done it already... so it's time to move on."

He placed his hand in my shoulder again but this time I didn't shrugged it.

"I already did, Ashley."

It was January 3rd when Wilkerson called shamelessly. He was dressed with expensive clothes but tacky, as the girl in the carriage with him.

"Who's that?" I asked to Carreen as both walked to the porch to see what they want.

"She's Emmy Slattery…, he had a child with her out of marriage but was stillborn," Carreen whispered me quickly.

"Wait a..., she's not the girl who infected Ellen and you with Typhoid?" I turned to the girl and she nodded.

"Yes, my mother went to nurse her—," but I had heard enough.

"Well, then I guess it's time to take out the trash," I mumbled angrily and Carreen looked at me, puzzled. Ashley saw us going to the man.

"Scarlett?" he called me but I ignored Ashley and stood in the porch.

"What are you doing here?" that was my cold greeting to both of them as the man helped the girl out of the carriage.

"I'm here to visit," the man announced cheerfully unaware of my coldness but the girl did sense it. "May I introduce you Mrs. Wilkerson?"

"No, you can't, I don't speak trashy. Now please you and that tacky wench get out of these lands!" I snapped at him angrily looking down at him and the girl. Emmy blushed embarrassed and run to the carriage but Wilkerson became as angry as I was.

"You cannot talk to my wife that way!" he yelled angry. "We're here to pay a friendly call and talk about business with old friends—"

"Don't make me laugh; we don't mingle with scum like you!"

"Still high and mighty, ain't you? Well, I know all about you. I know your father's turned idiot. You can't pay your taxes. And I come here to offer to buy the place from you to make you a right good offer. Emmy's had a hankering to live here—"

"I'm not saying it again, get out!"

"You high-flying Irish will find out who's running things around here when you get sold out for taxes. I'll buy this place lock, stock and barrel and I'll live in it. But I'll wait for the Sheriff's sale," he turned to climb the carriage as I glowered to them in a challenging way.

He left quickly and I glared at him as if I could make him blow up and then a horse whinnied and I turned startled to see Gerald jumped in the road starting to chase Wilkerson. Oh no….

"Scarlett!" Ashley called me when I ran after Gerald, trying to stop him, remembering the movie, the freaking movie...

"No, Dad! Come back! Dad!" I ran and yelled as fast as I could but he was so fast, he couldn't hear me.

"Dad! DAD, PLEASE!"

"Scarlett!" I heard Ashley calling me and his footsteps behind.

"DAAAD!"

But Gerald whipped the reins and the horse jumped the wood fence and missed. The horse back legs hit the fence throwing Gerald to the ground, where his body rolled before stayed still.

"NOOO! DAAAAD!" I was still too far from the fence when Ashley caught me, wrapping his arms around me.

"NOOO! NOOO! TURN ME LOOSE, YOU—! DAAAD! DAAAD!"

"Scarlett, please!"

"NOOO!" the tears started to fall down and I went limp in his arms, crying.

After Gerald died the entire house grieved him but I couldn't. I hadn't time. I didn't cry again when he was declared dead or when he was buried. Carreen told me I shouldn't repress my feelings but I ignored her.

If I broke down, the rest would do it too. I was nineteen but I felt as if I was fifty.

One day I talked with Mammy in the living room or what was left of it. I talked about the money; I knew she was even stronger than me and wiser.

"Oh Mammy, what are we going to do?" I asked her, slipping down the wall to sit on the floor. "How I'm going to get those three hundred dollars?"

Mammy walked to me.

"Nobody got that money. Only the carpetbaggers and scalawag had that money now."

Yes, only the carpetbaggers and scalawags had money now, only the varmints..., the varmints... And then it hit me, and I lifted my head. I knew someone who had all that money and more; Rhett. The problem was he left me and I didn't want to see him again but there was another choice. I knew that like him there were a lot of blockade runners who made a lot of money out of the war; Rhett's friend of course and some of them lived in Atlanta... maybe they were still there.

I rose from the floor suddenly and ran to the broken mirror.

"Miz Scarlett-?"

I grimaced, scrunching up my nose.

"Oh, look at me, Mammy! I'm hideous. My dress is practically falling down...," then I noticed the curtains behind me and smiled. Turning quickly I walked to them and took them. They were made of velvet and were wide enough to cut a dress out of it.

"What are you going to do with those, Miz Scarlett?" Mammy's alarmed voice asked me.

"Actually it's you Mammy, who's going to made me a dress with these," I told her, turning to her with sparkling eyes.

"Not with Miz Ellen's portiere, not as long as there's a breath on my body," Mammy grumbled, frowning upset. I frowned as well and looked at her seriously.

"Mammy, or you make me a dress with these curtains or you'll have to make a new house for all us to live in."

Next chapter it's going to be Rhett and Blair-Scarlett reunion. I promise it won't take me that long. I already had half of the chapter. Thank you again for everything guys, let me know what you think!