After spending almost an entire day at work doing nothing but wait around for the DNA test results, Julie, Nick and Constance returned home. It was another awkward, yet shorter car ride this time with no smoke filling the vehicle. Constance was quiet, staring out the window at the scenery going by. Julie was also quiet, having nothing to add in the moment but was undoubtably questioning the events of the last twenty-four hours still. Nick was worried about them both. A quiet Julie Finlay was unnatural, while the unpredictable moody Constance added to the mix of emotions running high since last night. No sooner had they entered the foyer of the house when Constance turned to them and said enthusiastically "Whose hungry?"

Julie shrugged, not sure if what she felt was hunger or not. Nick smiled and said, "We can order Chinese takeout or pizza or something."

"Nah," Constance said waving her hand at him "I want to cook for you both, as a thank you for everything I've been putting you through, please?"

Julie looked at Nick, unsure if she trusted Constance's kitchen skills after the burning coffee maker this morning but she remembered breakfast and how cooking seemed to make things less awkward, so she agreed with a silent shrug to Nick who nodded.

"All right," he said "do you have everything you need? What can we do to help?"

"Don't you worry about anything," Constance assured them "I snooped through your cabinets and pantry while you were all asleep this morning, I know what I'm doing, go relax, chill out, you deserve a break."

She continued to wave at them, motioning for them to vacate the area so she could work. Nick guided Julie into the living room where Sam awaited them, chewing lazily on one of his toys.

"Do you think she's up to something?" Julie whispered to Nick as they sat on the couch, peering anxiously over his shoulder into the kitchen.

"I think she's just being nice," Nick reasoned with her.

"I hate this," Julie snapped, bouncing her leg up and down anxiously, "not knowing if I can trust her still."

"Well this is one way to find out," Nick said, glancing back at the kitchen where Constance already had a pot of water set to boil on the stove.

It didn't take long for smells of food to fill the kitchen and living room area. Constance wouldn't tell them what she was cooking, and they didn't want to spy on her, so Nick and Julie stayed in the living room, watching random things on TV to unwind. Constance observed them, sharing the same reclining arm chair, laying as close to each other as physically possible, sharing one blanket, Julie playing with her phone, showing Nick pictures or something on it that was making them both laugh. Watching people was her strong suit and she couldn't help but smile whenever Julie got lost in playing with her phone, distracted, Nick sneaking kisses on her forehead that made her smile more. When Constance turned to stir her half-finished meal on the stove, she heard a loud shriek followed by laughter from Julie who was trapped in a tickle fight with Nick. Constance shook her head, smiling again at their silliness and closeness that seemed to transcend the terrible things she had put them through in the last day and a half. It was nice to see that Julie was just as playful now as she was as a child with her friends and in the moments, Constance spent spying on her. She hated having to turn away to focus on the meal she was making but she could hear them chatting again casually and laughing at whatever was on TV.

The meal was complete in under an hour. Constance set the counter space with plates and silverware, glasses, wine and napkins.

"Dinner is served," she announced as she stood between the kitchen and living room to get Nick and Julie's attention. They reluctantly abandoned the comfy couch to see what Constance had prepared for them. On the stove was a full pot of spaghetti, smothered in sauce with a bowl of salad on the table and full glasses of wine. Julie looked at Nick who wore an impressed expression as he eyed the nicely prepared meal and table in front of them.

The three of them sat down to eat, staying mostly silent as they did, savoring the meal and how good it tasted.

"First breakfast and now Italian, how did you learn how to cook so well?" Nick asked breaking the silence.

"I worked in a hotel for a while," Constance explained "the chef there was really nice and took pity on me when he saw me living off sandwiches for months."

Nick nodded, still impressed by this woman and her myriad of jobs and experiences. Julie twirled her spaghetti on the plate with her fork in silence still, mulling over a new question that plagued her when she first tasted the food. Karen taught Julie how to cook and they had even made a silly video of it years ago, but Julie had no idea what happened to it. Now she wanted it badly and had no idea how to track it down amongst her belongings that were scattered in the spare room, closets and drawers. A sense of panic rose in her chest at the devastating thought that it might be lost in the shuffle of moving from Pennsylvania to Seattle then Vegas. Constance noticed the tense look on Julie's face now and had to ask, "What's wrong babe?"

"Mom and I used to cook," Julie said, "sometimes seriously, other times for fun, you know cookies and stuff, but we made videos with dad's camera when he wasn't home, I saved them, but I don't know where they are, I just, thought of them now after all these years."

Nick could not offer a comforting word in the moment because he had never seen any videos or old tapes of Julie as a child around the house or even when she lived at the condo. Constance however, sat up, sipped her wine with a shifting gaze then mumbled "I might be able to help you with that."

The surprises with her were endless, Julie thought as Constance shuffled into the spare room where she had been staying, dug through her travel bags and retrieved what she was searching for. When she returned, she carried a stack of small plastic square disc holders which was a thick as a brick as she held them up and said, "Got a DVD player around here?"

Nick was quick to set up the player on the entertainment center in the living room under the TV as Constance thumbed through each disc holder.

"You stole my tapes?" Julie demanded of her, crossing her arms as she stood in shock in the middle of the living room.

"It's not stealing if I just borrowed them to make copies," Constance corrected her "the originals are back at my place in Philly so don't get your panties in a twist."

She popped open one of the DVD's and handed it to Nick who gently set it in the player and backed up to the couch where the remote was. Constance sat down in the second arm chair, clutching her wine glass while the remainder of the DVD's were stacked neatly on the coffee table. Julie remained rooted to the spot, staring at the TV as grainy footage began to play on their high definition flat screen TV. It was her as a baby, seated in a high chair with Karen beside her, bestowing a birthday cake in front of her, a single candle lit on it indicating it was her first birthday. Karen blew out the candle for Julie, but they clapped together before allowing her to make a mess of the cake with her tiny hands destroying it piece by piece. The second footage was Julie leaning against the couch in their living room while Karen stood a few feet away, motioning for Julie, calling out "Come on sweetie, you can do it." and Julie slowly began to stumble over to her on shaky legs, walking for the first time. On and on it went, various moments of Julie and her life flashing before her. Most of the time it was Karen, playing with Julie, reading to her, cooking with her, while Patrick did all the filming. When the third video played, Patrick was on screen, gently pushing Julie on her bike as she rode without training wheels, cheering loudly for her, followed by the two of them playing some sort of silly game in the yard, chasing each other around, Julie climbing up on her swing set, begging him to catch her which he did, spinning her around the yard, her laughter loud and hearty, then hysterical when he tickled her. She was six and in a school play, she was nine and hitting a baseball out of the yard, sailing over three houses while Patrick cheered her on, yelling "Way to go Slugger!" She was ten and climbing trees with her friends, twelve when she won an award for a science project, sixteen when she was fixing the old car with Patrick, then driving it, seventeen as she graduated high school, making silly faces with her friends at the camera then tossing her graduation cap in the air.

Seeing all these moments made Julie's heart fill with sadness but also joy. It ached to see Patrick and Karen again, it had been so long since they passed but even longer since she had watched these tapes. She couldn't help but sniffle in agony over losing them so young, not being able to share this with them. Constance watched Julie's reactions, feeling somewhat guilty for keeping these for so long but knowing she needed them more to keep her daughter close to her as well as the memory of Karen and Patrick. When Julie sensed Constance watching her, she met her gaze with a sad look.

"They are all here, I promise," Constance confirmed of the DVD's on the table which was not what Julie was going to ask her, but she appreciated it all the same. She was grateful to have the tapes but angry that they had been gone for so long. She was confused by Constance's strange desire to hoard them while aching for the only family she knew to come back to her. She wondered for years if they were really her parents, then after figuring out she was adopted, wondered why they kept it from her, did they even love her? It seemed obvious from the tapes that they did but could she even trust these memories? Overwhelmed, Julie sank down on the couch beside Nick and put her head in her hands, sobbing in relief but also in pain.

"Hey, it's okay," Nick tried to soothe her "she saved all the tapes and look how cute you are."

Julie couldn't bring herself to look at the screen again just yet.

"It just hurts," she complained "I feel too many things at once and I hate it."

"Remember what I told you about that?" Nick reminded her "that's how you know you're living, it isn't always easy or fun, but everything you feel is valid and it made you the person you are today, I mean come on, who couldn't love that face?"

He nudged her gently to get her to look at the TV again where the current footage was her at age five, playing around in a pile of mud with her friends, throwing it at each other, getting it in her hair and all over her face. She managed a laugh and a sob at the memory, wondering how Patrick and Karen ever tolerated her craziness but recalled the next day after that mud fight when she fell ill and couldn't go to school. They both stayed home from work to take care of her. They made her soup and let her watch cartoons and sleep in their bed when she wanted to be close to them. And they cared enough to go back for her at the church even if it took a measly six months, they cared, and in her own twisted way, Constance cared too. She cared enough to save these tapes and to risk being caught every time she spied on Julie. She cared enough to fake a D and D just to be arrested so she could talk to her.

Constance reached out to Julie now and said, "They loved you, don't ever question it."

That simple statement, confirmation, validation, everything Julie had wrestled with and debated for years and most recently, no longer needed to be solved. She realized that she could love and appreciate Karen and Patrick for what they did and still form a connection with Constance. Her stubborn soul was getting in her way and she was tired of fighting, of resisting what life had given her. She was exhausted and now that she had her answers, it was time to rest, figuratively and literally.

"I love them," she cried to Nick and to Constance "I miss them, and I love them."

"We know," Nick soothed, catching her when she fell forward into his arms.

She felt somewhat silly for falling apart at the memory of her parents at fifty years old, but after everything she had been through, and feeling alone for so long, she had every right to still be sad for them and to ache for them. This was an odd type of closure, but it finally felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest despite her continuing sobs. Nick did the only thing he could do in the moment, lean back on the couch and pull her with him, letting her rest in his arms, her face buried in his chest, so she could cry, her eyes burning with exhaustion.

"I'm sorry," Constance apologized again, sitting up from the chair she occupied "I never meant for any of this to happen this way, if you want, maybe I'd be better off leaving you guys alone, it won't take long to pack up and get a flight back to Philly and-

"No," Julie shrieked at her, realizing what she was suggesting "you- have to stay- you promised."

Nick shot a worried look at Constance who sank back down in her seat, realizing she was wanted here and needed here after this ordeal she had caused.

"Maybe we should go upstairs," Nick offered Julie "you're exhausted, you need to sleep."

"Later," she mumbled, regaining control of her breathing now as her sobs dissipated "I want to watch the tapes."

Constance owed her that much, so Nick remained with Julie on the couch, watching the old videos, Julie mostly silent as she watched herself as a child, rambunctious and messy, occasionally giggling at some memory that meant more to her than what was depicted on the TV. Nick couldn't help but be immersed in the tapes as well. Little Julie was adorable, a mess of tangled curly hair and energy for days with a loud infectious laugh and the happiest demeanor. She was not much different now, he couldn't help but notice; her hair still just as wild and curly, her laugh just as hearty and loud, and her ability to melt hearts had only improved in time.

It was no surprise that she fell asleep during the second to last video. Constance paused the tapes, so they could continue when she woke up again.

"Poor thing," she sympathized "I've hurt her so much."

"Nah you love her," Nick said watching over Julie "everything you did was out of love, it just took her a little while to understand that."

"I appreciate you," Constance said, "you make her so happy, she feels safe with you, she knows she's loved, Karen and Patrick would be so proud."

"That's all anyone ever wants for the people they love," Nick agreed.

"I wanted her to have a better life than I did," Constance admitted "I wanted to give her the world."

"She's got it for sure," Nick said of all Julie had accomplished and survived "you did what you could for her and Patrick and Karen did what they did, and you know what, you made her my world."

Constance stared at him, shocked by the way he came to that conclusion.

"I did, didn't I?" she said, feeling proud of something for the first time in ages, echoing a turn of phrase Julie used often and smugly.

She watched Julie sleep now, hoping whatever was going through her mind was peaceful and no longer riddled with anger and sadness. Nick felt the peace that had settled over the room, from the way Constance looked at Julie with admiration to the way Julie lay snuggled up against him, finally, to the TV where the video was paused on a moment of Julie as a little girl, scooped up in Patrick's arms, laughing at something, while Karen stood beside them, looking on lovingly, the unidentified third party person behind the camera capturing the heartwarming moment, unaware of the truth behind those smiles but fully aware of the love shared between the trio.

"And then some," he added, grateful for who that little girl became, and who she was still in this moment, stealing his heart with every passing day.

November 2018

Philadelphia

Most of the trees here had reached peak color this late into the season but a few still held onto bright orange, red and yellow leaves. Julie could not resist stepping on crunchy ones the way she used to as a child as she walked along the side walk from the parking lot with Nick on one side of her, Constance on the other. The path way led them through several rows of marked graves, some held flowers and other memorial item while others were blank, the harsh change of season forcing loved ones to limit what tokens of love they left out for their lost relatives. Julie counted the spaces as they walked, reaching the fourth row of headstones, stopping five counts in. Nick and Constance stopped along side her and the trio faced their destination, the wind blowing leaves around furiously now.

"I'm back," Julie spoke to the two graves in front of them "I know it's been a while, so much has happened, I finally got to meet Constance."

Nick stayed silent, exchanging a glance at Constance who shuffled nervously next to him as she stared at the graves of Patrick and Karen. Patrick's seventy fifth birthday was coming up at the end of the month and she wondered what he'd be like in old age, something none of them ever got to see.

"I know you wanted it a secret," Julie continued to speak to them "but it's okay, I'm not mad anymore, I understand why you did it, but I'm happy to have found her, I needed to know the truth to solve the case."

She felt a chiller breeze hit her face now and she shivered, reaching behind her for Nick and tugging on his hand to pull him closer to where she stood.

"I want you to meet someone," she continued "my husband Nick, I know, number three, but he's wonderful, I love him so much and I know you guys would too."

It was reminiscent of when Nick took Julie to visit Warrick's grave site and introduced her. People who would never know each other was sad to think about but here he felt filled with hope for Julie and Connie who seemed to have grown closer in the last two months. Connie quit smoking and moved to Vegas. She started working part time while still living with them until she procured enough money to find her own place. Julie got out her father's old restored Cadillac from storage and allowed Constance to use it to get around town but also to have something of her brothers to call her own. She was saving for a condo close by and was on track to having one by the middle of next year. Nick didn't mind, he liked her company, especially when he was in San Diego. Julie was teaching her how to use a gun properly, something Constance insisted upon after watching Julie shoot perfect targets at the shooting range one afternoon.

"I'm sorry for what ya'll went through," Nick offered to his in-laws "but Julie is an angel, I don't know what I would do without her so uh- thanks for everything you did for her."

Julie smiled and lay her head on his shoulder. Constance worked up the nerve to step forward now and say, "I found her, I just had to tell her the truth, I hope you can both forgive me, and I'm sorry for all the hell I put you both through, I love her and I promise to do right by her."

She twisted her hands together nervously having been taught about sin, forgiveness and repentance enough in school. Talking to the dead was oddly worshipped but frowned upon at the same time. Julie saw Constance's struggle and she reached out to take hold of her hand and squeeze it comfortingly. Constance recoiled at the contact at first, not used to someone being gentle and soft with her. She stared at Julie, then at their hands intertwined in this tender moment and she didn't feel like she needed to pull away. It felt normal, it felt like what love should. Constance squeezed back, no longer afraid to show her feelings, she had a daughter who was desperate to connect with her, she wasn't going to let her hard heart get in the way of that bond that should have been created the night she was born.

Julie felt at peace, standing here with Nick to lean on and Constance's hand to hold. For the first time in a long time she felt lucky to have been raised the way she had; despite the fights over her genetic history, she was lucky because she got two mothers and an exceptional father and uncle who never made her feel like she unwanted. Though those feelings had crept up on her in the years that followed their deaths and her divorce from Mike, she rebounded with Nick at her side and now had Constance to share the family connection with.

As they stood there, shivering in the cold, Julie said "I think I'm ready now," to Nick and to Constance who took that as an indicator she had successfully said her peace with Karen and Patrick. She let go of Nick to reach out and touch the headstones, whisper "I love you," then turn and face the wind as it came howling back at them as they began the trek back to the rental car. Julie rubbed her hands together, trying to warm up despite having a warm coat and gloves. Constance watched her, realizing what she needed. She unraveled the wool scarf from around her neck and stopped walking, tugging on Julie's jacket sleeve and saying "Here" re-wrapping the scarf around her instead. Julie allowed her to adjust the scarf to fit her snug but not too tight. It was soft and looked old and worn but still sturdy.

"Thanks," Julie said, admiring Constance's giving spirit despite her fierce independent attitude.

"No problem," she replied, recalling all the times she wore that scarf to hide behind when she was watching Julie grow up from afar.

Back in the car, Constance offered suggestions on various places they could go next but Julie, who was driving, stopped abruptly on a street causing Nick to ask, "What's wrong?"

"There's one more thing I want to do," Julie said, staring at a house across the street from where they were parked.

"Uh, what are we doing here?" Constance asked, looking up at the house, dread filling her at the familiar structure.

"Nothing bad, I promise," Julie said, pushing open the car door.

Nick and Constance followed suite, approaching the house with caution while Julie marched up with confidence. She knocked on the plexiglass door and waited on the porch, sighing, determined. The woman who answered the door was surprised to see them all standing on her porch.

"Hi," Julie said quickly "you probably don't remember me but-

"Vegas cop girl who used to live here," the woman recalled.

"Yes," Julie said, relieved "I just wanted to tell you, I found what I was looking for."

She stepped to the side so that Constance, who seemed to be trying to hide in the doorway, could be seen.

"I was looking for my biological mother and I found her," Julie explained "well, she found me, but that's why we were here all those years ago and I know we didn't find anything here, but I wanted to let you know that-

"Connie?" the woman interrupted Julie's explanation, somehow recognizing Constance.

"Hey Nancy," Constance mumbled back, shifting nervously.

"It's been a while," Nancy said, "how are you?"

"Peachy keen," Constance said, grinding her teeth as she spoke.

"You know her?" Julie asked Constance now.

"We worked at the office for years," Constance explained "after you sold the house once, I bought it back and started renting it to Nancy."

Julie stared at Constance, shocked by the seemingly endless revelations she had.

"Oh man," Nick said shaking his head in disbelief and mild amusement.

"Hey, I couldn't let some stranger live here!" Constance explained "I got so used to seeing this place that, I felt better letting someone I know have it."

"I didn't know you had kids!" Nancy said now, just as shocked at the entire ordeal.

"Why didn't you tell me you talked to her?" Constance demanded of Julie now.

"How the hell was I supposed to know!?" Julie snapped back.

"I think we're getting off track here," Nick said, trying to be the voice of reason.

Julie was lost for words now. She was angry at being so close to someone who knew her mother two years ago yet could not make contact. It was a small world indeed. At the same time, she was happy to know that someone was living here who Constance trusted to be here and in some weird way would keep the place lively and homey the way Julie knew it to be.

"Sorry," Constance mumbled sheepishly, a word she had spoken more times in her life than she ever wanted to.

"Well listen, stop by for a visit anytime," Nancy said, "I'd love to get to know you Julie, Connie's daughter is as good as mine."

"Thanks," Julie mumbled, still reeling from the emotional ups and downs she experienced almost daily now with Constance around.

They vacated the porch, bade goodbye to Nancy and all walked back to the car in silence.

"Are you mad at me?" Constance asked from the back seat.

"No," Julie said truthfully, letting out the breath she had been holding "let's just go home."

She could not stay mad at anyone for too long anymore. Life was too short for that.

Returning to Vegas that night was a relief. Julie went to her favorite evening activity, looking at old photos from her childhood, curled up on the couch with Constance. They had merged their photos together, Constance adding ones she had stolen from the Finlay house over the years, stories accompanying each photo. Julie mostly listened to her speak, soaking up every detail, adding her own when necessary. They could sit together for hours talking until one or both fell asleep. In tonight's case it was Julie who succumbed to sleep first, laying her head on Constance's shoulder. It was a testament to how close they had grown when Constance tucked a blanket in around Julie tenderly, as if she had been doing so for years. She spent so many years regretting her life choices regarding Julie, but she didn't have to regret things anymore. Letting her go had been a mixture of good and bad, but in this moment, she was elated, ecstatic, that she never had to let her go again.

AN- That's a wrap folks! This was a whirlwind to write and brainstorm and mull over for months, but the closure was also for myself as well as Julie. I hope to include Constance in future stories because I can only imagine the trouble she can get into with Julie as her daughter. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, so I can't wait to explore this dynamic. Thanks for reading and reviewing and all that jazz.