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Chapter 13

I wasn't afraid of dying, but then again, I had an unusually abnormal response to fear. Dying wasn't just a concept for me; it wasn't just some unknown part of life. I had been faced with death more times than what seemed possible. I was surrounded by death, and each time I came head to head with it, I had remarkably prevailed. I didn't know why or how, but I had once again escaped the clutches of death. Renee had once told me that life wasn't all butterflies and bunnies. Simply put, as it was, I suppose she was right.

My life seemed to be a higher level of misfortunate. My road paved with pain, hurt, loneliness. But sitting beside me was the one person who could bring me sunshine. The person who could make me smile and give me hope and sunshine. But, not today, there was nothing sunny about Jacob Black today.

"So your top dog, now, huh?"

"Yeah, so to speak."

"So is that an honor that comes with a crown and keys to the kingdom?"

"Not exactly."

Normally Jacob would have continued this playful banter, but he looked serious and somber. He was a prisoner of his own thoughts, thoughts he wasn't sharing with me. He squeezed my hand, and a surge of heat ran through my insides.

"So Quil and Embry, they're alright?"

"For now, but I can't make any promises for when I finally see them."

Jake was upset with them for what had happened. He blamed them, and if I knew him well at all, he was blaming himself. I felt obligated to save his friends, his brothers.

"It wasn't their fault. Really, they did the best that they could. I'm a danger magnet, remember."

Jacob just nodded at me, looking somewhere in the distance.

I could still smell the blood. I was covered in it. I held my breath to keep from fainting, again. I passed out when the gun went off, and then again, when I came outside.

Jacob helped me up, from where I was sitting. He grabbed my arm and led me to Charlie's police cruiser.

I stopped just short of the car, and turned to look back. The events that had transpired in the building behind me were monumental, life changing.

I took in a deep breath trying not to smell the blood that was covering my clothes and hair.

"Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital? Just to get checked out. Those are some pretty terrible marks on your wrists." Charlie sounded worried.

"At least get them checked out," he urged.

"Really I'm fine. I just want to go home, take a hot shower and go to sleep."

I was tired from the endless swarm of questions being thrown at me. I had given my statement at least a dozen times, to a dozen people. I was relieved to finally be able to go home and put all of this behind me.

The car ride home was mostly silent, except for when Charlie would randomly insist that I go to the hospital. Each time I refused.

Jacob was in the back seat, only inches from me, but he seemed like worlds away. The ever growing distance between us was immeasurable. The tie that held us together was slowly unraveling. I was being shut out, that much was evident. Jacob was internally struggling through his problem, or problems, alone.

He looked exhausted, worry filled his dark eyes. Although I had seen Jacob just yesterday, he looked different. He seemed older, and he looked as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. He wasn't carefree or light hearted, and I hated seeing him this way. The light of his smile was gone, not even a flicker left. He bore a multitude of burdens, and for what reason, I didn't know. Whatever Jacob was facing, bore the semblance of a death row sentence.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes. It was hard to think of Bruce as gone. The minutes leading up to his death were pained, but sobering. Instead of loathing him or hating him, I pitied him. I understood his pain, his hurt, his insanity. We had a common loss, and because of it, I felt coupled to him in a remarkable way.

It was one thing to lose human love. But, losing a supernatural love; was something else, entirely. It was maddening, draining. When Edward left, my soul died, vacated only to leave emptiness and desolation in its place.

Since my encounter on the roadway, my mind was invaded by thoughts of Edward. My heart didn't fall apart when I thought of his memory…his face… his voice. Not like it once did. But I was still irritated at myself for allowing the invasion.

When my thoughts had overtaken my consciousness, I realized we weren't moving anymore. We were at Jacob's house. The clock on the dash read 2:30 pm.

"Bella, as much as it pains me to do this, I have to leave you here with Jacob and Billy. I hope I won't regret this later." Charlie glared at Jacob as he spat the word "regret" into the backseat.

"I have to go back to Port Angeles, to finalize this case and close the investigation. I will be back later for you."

"Are you hungry?" Jacob asked once we were inside. He still seemed distant.

"No. Not really," I replied. I wasn't able to remember the last time I had eaten, but food just didn't seem probable.

"I'm so tired. Can I just take a shower and lie down?"

Jacob kissed the top of my head.

"Sure thing," he smiled as he spoke the simple words, sending a rush of comfort and relief through me.

"I'll see if I can find you some clothes that smell a little better. Dog smell is better than blood smell. Right?"

I grinned and nodded. Jacob's smell, dog or not, was by far my favorite scent in the world.

Once inside Jacob's bathroom, I opted for a hot bath instead of a shower. I wasn't really a bath girl. In fact, I pretty much shied away from all things typically girly. I ran the water as hot as I could get it. In the back of the sink cabinet, I found a lone bottle of bubble bath. Remnants no doubt of when Jacob's sisters were home. I poured the contents of the bottle, into the water and watched the bubbles cascade into each other. I swiped a black razor, hoping it was Jacob's and not Billy's. I finally submerged myself in the tranquility provided by my oasis.

I lied in the bath tub, until my skin was wrinkled and my water had turned cold. I rinsed out my hair, and got out to dry off. I wrapped the towel around me, realizing I had forgotten to bring anything to change into. I stood in front of the mirror, staring at the dark circles under my eyes. My pale skin made them more pronounced and I looked like I could have used another twenty minutes in the water. I was aching, and exhausted. To top it off, I thought I was beginning to feel a cold coming on. A night in a down pouring rain would usually do that to a person, I thought.

I had finger-brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth out, with some generic form of Listerine. I was combing through my wet hair, when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

"Bells, are you ok?" It was Jacob, my heart dropped. Of course it was Jacob. Billy was gone for the day. Charlie must not have known, or he would have never left me here. I smiled in spite of myself.

"I'm fine, just finishing up."

"I have you some clothes."

I cracked the door open just enough to reach my hand out. Jacob reached the t shirt and sweat shorts through the small space. I grabbed onto them, but he wouldn't let go. When I pulled at them the door opened wider, nearly knocking me down.

When he saw me, his jaw dropped and his cheeks went flush. I immediately felt embarrassed. I had practically saw Jacob naked every day that we were together, even now he wasn't wearing a shirt. Ironically enough, he had never saw much more than my neck, hands and feet. Uncomfortable didn't begin to describe how I felt.

"Maybe I'll just take the clothes back, and you can wear the towel."

"Right," I mused.

Jacob pushed his way into the bathroom and pulled me into him. He cupped my chin in his overly large palm, piercing his eyes into mine.

"Bella, I love you." Whatever distance had been between us, was gone. And for that moment I felt incredibly close to Jacob. His eyes were no longer dark and solemn, he was carefree and beautiful.

His lips crashed into mine, forceful and passionate. The taste of him, of his tongue was intoxicating, leaving me senseless. His embrace became tighter and his hands were moving softly along my back. I couldn't help but marvel in the way his skin felt against mine.

Jacob picked me up gently and placed me on the sink counter; never moving his lips from mine. I locked my arms around his neck and moved my body into his. His lips began to move to my neck. He kissed me gently, until he reached my collarbone. He made his way back to my lips, his kiss more urgent, more necessary. He placed his hand on my thigh and began rubbing up and down my skin. I let out a slight moan as he moved his lips to my earlobe. I could feel a smile come across his lips as he realized what was happening. Every part of my body that he kissed, that he touched, was instantly electrified. And, each second that past brought about a new excitement.

I felt alive, I felt wild with emotion. I was engulfed in a sea of passion. Jacob's touch over powering everything else I had ever felt in my life. There was no fear, no anger, no worry, just love. Incredible, unfaltering love pouring from him into me.

Happy.

A/N: Finally...happy