"JUDYYYYYYYY!"

Judy sat bolt upright in her bed. At first she didn't recognize the voice, and the sound of some crazy mammal belting out her name in a drunken wail terrified her. Heart racing, she threw open the window and poked her head out, staring down at a very drunken Nick holding a half-empty bottle in his paw.

"JUUUUUDYYYYYYYYY!" he yelled again. He swayed back and forth. One of his eyes was almost completely shut while the other was half-lidded as he blinked.

"Someone shut that crazy beast up!" a lion roared from the floor above her.

"Holy crap Judy is that fox calling out for you?" shouted Bucky from next door.

"Of course he is! Is there anyone else in this building named Judy?" yelled Pronk.

"There could be!"

"Oh shut up!"

"No you shut up!"

"The both of you shut up!" Mrs. Beaverwitz snapped at the both of them. She'd poked her head out of her window and was wearing a pink nightcap. It almost slipped from her head when she turned to look at her neighbor upstairs. "Judy! It is two in the morning! Get that fox to shut his crazy mouth!"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Beaverwitz! Sorry Pronk! Bucky!" Judy said hastily. She must've been so red through her fur. Never in her life had she been so embarrassed. "Nick! Nick just quiet down and I'll buzz you in!"

"OKAY!"

Judy didn't trust Nick to make his way to her apartment on his own. He probably would've stumbled aimlessly through the halls pounding on every other door and causing even more of a ruckus, so she rushed down to the front entrance just as he tottered in. She half-supported, half-dragged the thoroughly trashed fox up the stairs and to her room. He'd better not have started all this madness just because he wanted to have sex.

Once there he collapsed immediately onto her sofa, tongue flopping out the corner of his mouth. Judy had seen Nick drunk before, but alcohol had always just made him more flirtatious and prone to cuddling. She'd never seen Nick in this state.

"Oh my god Nick what were you thinking?!" she snapped. She took one of her small throw-pillows and smacked him over the head. "Why didn't you just text me?!"

"I didn't wanna wake you up..." he slurred, pulling the pillow off of his face and letting it drop to the floor.

Judy let out a disgusted grunt. "How much have you had to drink?"

"I dunno... like... five."

"Five what?" This was way beyond five beers or shots. She looked at the whiskey that'd slipped from his paw. "Five bottles?"

"No thanks, I already got one..." He groped blindly at the floor.

Judy snatched the bottle away immediately. "You've had enough! What happened? We had such a nice time at Benjy's too!"

Though as Nick had mentioned he'd had to leave when they started up the horror movie. Even with the dated effects Judy had been so frightened that at one point she'd clung to the closest fox-shaped figure in the darkness. Chester had been quite pleased.

For some reason though Nick didn't respond to her texts the following day, and he wasn't at his apartment when she dropped by to check on him after work. At the time Judy had thought she'd been worried about nothing. Maybe Nick just needed a little more space. If so, the worst thing she could've done was hover. Seeing him like this now though, she wasn't sure that'd been the right thing to do.

Did Finnick say something to upset him? What did they talk about? Or was it something more serious than that? Nick had seemed perfectly normal when they had dinner with Benjy, but then again he had years of experience burying his feelings and acting like he couldn't get hurt. And Conall did have a reason for not approving his return to active duty.

She really hoped she wouldn't have to call for an ambulance. His breathing was normal however, and he was conscious enough to make it to her apartment. Probably not alcohol poisoning, but he really would have to watch it if he didn't want to die of liver failure somewhere down the line.

"Nick..." she ran a paw over his head. "Nick what's wrong? I know I promised I'd try to respect your privacy, but something is clearly out of your control right now."

When he opened his eyes again he was staring past her. There was such a haunted look on his face. She'd yet to see Nick cry, and right now it seemed like he just might. That she didn't know why was the worst part. It terrified her.

"I've been lying to you..." Nick muttered, still staring past her, at something she couldn't see. "I've been lying to you ever since..."

Judy's heart was pounding. Oh no. No Nick, please... please. What they had was good, wasn't it? It'd been rocky at first, but their relationship was just beginning to find its legs. She wanted to think they could work past it together, but with Nick so piss-drunk and broken right now, it must be something big. Was it really something that could jeopardize everything they've gone through?

"I... I need to tell you something..."

"All... all right, Nick. Whatever it is I won't be mad, okay?"

Yet even as she said it she imagined all the possible things he could've done that would've warranted a reaction like this. Her heart was racing. She was trembling from the tips of her ears down to her toes.

"Judy..." Nick began. "Judy, I..."

All of a sudden his eyes widened. His pupils shrank back into tiny green beads. Nick curled forward, cheeks bulging out as he spasmed.

He barely made it to the bathroom in time.

Judy helped hold his tie back as he emptied his guts into the toilet, coughing and sputtering, spitting now and again. It was so bad that he was tearing up. Snot trickled from his nostrils, and his eyes had grown bloodshot.

Nick stared in confusion at the contents of the bowl. "Wh... when did I eat vomit?" he groaned.

"Hold on," Judy sighed. "I've got mouthwash."

Nick tossed back the capful of peppermint mouthwash, gargled, and spat it back into the bowl. He slapped at the side of the toilet, fingers hooking onto the handle and letting the weight of his arm drag it down. The night's misdeeds swirled away nice and clean, but stray flecks still dotted his shirt and along the porcelain rim.

Judy started to tug his tie loose, slightly miffed at the interruption. All the tension just five minutes ago had been forgotten. It couldn't be helped though. At least Nick got it out of his system.

"All right Nick. Get out of your clothes and into the shower."

He fumbled at his buttons, but did his best to comply. Naked and still quite inebriated, Nick lay with the back of his head on the edge of the tub as Judy quickly cleaned the mess before it dried.

What would mom and dad think? Judy thought to herself. Having this stupid fox stumble into her apartment, more uselessly smashed than a Ren Faire anvil. Oh and did I mention he's a fox? That's right I'm cleaning up my fox's vomit and he's half passed-out in my tub. No he's not a loser, dad! How could you say that? You don't even know him!

Judy was working herself into a fine old temper when Nick finally said something in a soft little croak.

"Judy... do you want children?"

Her ears perked up, and she turned around to look at him just as she tossed the wad of soapy toilet paper into the bowl.

"What?"

"Did you ever want to have children?" Nick repeated in a murmur. His eyes were wide open now, and he stared up at the ceiling.

"I-I..." Judy stuttered. She could feel herself turning red. "W-wow... I mean, yeah I think so. What girl hasn't thought about it? But all this time I've just been so focused on my career. I never had time to even consider..."

"I can't give you children, Judy..." Nick said softly. "We both need to face up to that."

"Nick if... if I do have kids it'll be a long ways off." She reached up to stroke his head, running her paw along one of his ears. They drooped back lifelessly. "Look, the thing I wanted most in life was to become a police officer, ever since I was a kid. I knew what I might have to give up the moment I dressed up as one for a play in grade school."

"I'm thirty-three, Judy..." Nick said, finally turning to face her. Judy almost wish he hadn't. The pain in his eyes wasn't from the Nick she'd come to know. "I'm twelve years older than you. My entire life I've been terrified of settling down, starting a family, all that jazz. But the truth is that every year that passes it starts to eat away at me a little more."

"Do... do you want kids?"

It took a while for him to respond. "I... yeah. Yeah I do."

He started to sniffle then, and he shut his eyes tight. His mouth writhed as the tears began to spot his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I can't give you kids, Judy. I'm sorry I'm a fox..."

"Nick... Nick stop, please. Don't you ever say that again," she cupped his face, struggling to keep from crying herself, and she tried to put on her most earnest smile. "We can always adopt, you know. A little baby fox. Once we work things out, make sure we're serious, get into a steady place with work and life..."

"You'd... you'd be okay with that?" Nick sniffled. His expression had softened finally.

"I want him to grow up just like you," Judy smiled. "Smart. And brave. And..."

"Articulate?"

Judy chuckled, wiping her cheek. She really was an emotional bunny. "You're never gonna let that go are you?"

Nick lay back in the tub, silent and pensive, as Judy pulled off her shirt and slipped out of her panties. She felt a little self-conscious. They'd only ever undressed with each other in the dark, and seeing each other naked in the full illumination of the bathroom light was new.

"A girl... I already..." Nick swallowed. His mouth seemed dry. "I think I'd like a girl."

"All right, a girl..." Judy kissed him on the forehead. "Now let's get you cleaned up."

.

.

"It's all right, Jellybean... you didn't do anything wrong."

Nick was resting his head in his father's lap, crying. He couldn't help himself.

Nick hadn't known what was to come, when Dad first took his paw and walked him down the street. At first Nick had expected ice cream when Dad said he had a surprise in store. A nice butter pecan would've been great on this hot summer day. But it'd been another one of his father's terrible puns: in-store, meaning there really was an empty storefront that he wanted to show Nick.

He didn't quite understand Dad's excitement at first, when they approached the ramshackle little building on the corner. And even when Dad approached the door with an excited grin, drawing "Wilde & Son" in the dust-coated window, Nick was confused at first, then skeptical. But as they talked (this time over ice cream) Nick grew ever more excited. Eager, even, to begin. He'd always been good at working with his paws, and sure tailoring wasn't something he'd ever tried. But if he could master the fine arts of sidewalk chalk and play-doh sculptures, surely he could be a tailor. They just needed to get through the boring paperwork first, then the real work would begin.

Little did they know, the boring paperwork was the real work.

"Me and my boy have a plan," dad would say as he wrapped up his sales pitch. It was well-practiced by now. "We have a location, and we have a dream! All we need is a loan to make it happen. It's not ZOOtopia. It's Wilde & Son's SUITopia! Need a suit?"

"Suitopia welcomes you!" they would both cheer at once.

"It's all right, Nick..." dad would say reassuringly as he led Nick away, crumpling up the rejected loan application and tossing it into the nearest bin. "No one gets approved their first time."

They took the bus all over the city, to every bank that was available. Yet the red stamps came one after the other, the stack of applications they had grew thinner and thinner. Dad had to count his pocket change just to make sure they had enough for bus fare and trips to the copier's for more forms. Nick offered to break open his piggy bank for it, but Dad had just laughed and tussled his headfur.

Yet Nick could see it wearing on him. With each rejection his father lost another sliver of dignity. John Wilde was dying a death by a thousand cuts, and papercuts, shallow as they were, hurt most of all.

Nick hadn't meant anything by it. The two lemming bankers had been trotting forward so slowly, carrying the red stamp over their heads. There'd been so many rejections. So many banks they'd been turned away from. Nick had just wanted it to be over. His father's ears had drooped and he had turned away when Nick tried picking up the stamp so he could do it himself, and they could both get out of there and move on to the next one.

The lemmings' eyes widened as they clung to the block of carved wood. Their little feet danced on the air. Small, terrified shrieks erupted from their mouths.

"FOX! FOX! SECURITY!"

Nick had felt the floor shake when the rhino security guard stormed over to him, picking him up as easily as Nick had the lemmings. In that instant he understood what he'd done wrong, how terrifying it could be to be manhandled by a mammal a hundred times bigger than yourself.

He'd learned his lesson and hoped that the rhino would put him down then, but the moment he dropped the stamp and the bankers scrambled off those hooves closed around his tiny body in a hard, stony grip. He started yelling, begging to be put down. He knew he'd done wrong, but the rhino scowled, not caring to hear it.

"No! Dad! Daaaaad!" Nick wailed.

Dad had turned around then, his eyes widened in horror. He chased after the two of them: begging, apologizing profusely, clinging to the rhino's arm and vowing they'd just leave quietly. But the rhino wouldn't hear of it, and continued to stomp towards the door.

By the end Nick's panicked father had leaped onto the security guard's body, trying to pry that tree trunk of an arm loose. It was like trying to move a mountain with his bare paws.

And the next thing Nick knew he was flying. They landed hard on the concrete, Nick bouncing twice before he rolled to a stop. He was bruised and hurting, and immediately the tears started to flow as he wailed. Dad limped over immediately, putting an arm around his boy, patting Nick's back and hushing him, telling him that it was all okay.

Only later would Nick realize how selfish it'd been to cry like that. A young kit was softer, more bouncy. He was less prone to being hurt from being tossed like that. But an older tod couldn't take a fall quite as well, and Dad had ignored his own, more serious injuries just to comfort his son.

And now they sat on a park bench, Nick continuing to sob. Dad had pulled him over and laid Nick's head in his lap the way he'd done whenever Nick started crying. He was ten years old... much too old for this. But the tears came, and the fact that he was crying in public, drawing the attention of every animal on the block, made him cry even harder. He was embarrassing his father, and he was shaming himself.

But Dad didn't care. He put one arm over Nick's body to hold him still, and patted his head with his other paw. "It's all right, Jellybean..." Dad cooed, as if Nick were still a baby. His mouth curved into a faint, reassuring smile. "You didn't do anything wrong. Just let it all out, okay?"

They sat on that bench for a long time, even after his cries had tapered off into wet snuffles. His tears had dried, but his eyes were still puffy. Anyone who saw him would know that he'd been weeping. Nick didn't want to get up just yet.

The sun was high in the sky, and it warmed his fur. The wooden bench was hot, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. Yet it was oddly soothing, like the press of a sun-baked river stone. With his dad still stroking his headfur, Nick felt as if he could fall asleep here, even with the sun stinging through his eyelids.

"Are you okay to go now?" Dad asked. His paw gave Nick's tummy a gentle pat.

"I... I... yeah. I think I am..." Nick scrubbed his nose, and gave one last sniff.

"Let's get back home," he said with a smile.

"But... we still have other banks to go to don't we?" After what'd just happened that was the last thing Nick wanted to do. But he had to shrug it off. He would prove he was a big fox.

"I'm getting kind of tired, actually," Dad yawned dramatically. "It's all right, we'll try again tomorrow. For now, how about a Freezee?"

Nick's ears perked up. "Can I get blueberry?"

"Of course."

Dad let Nick place his order at the Freezee stand. The mammal in the stall was a tall polar bear. After the encounter with the rhino seeing such a large mammal again so soon was rather intimidating. But a mammal wouldn't operate a Freezee stand if he didn't love children, and the polar bear's face broke out in a big smile when Nick approached. Nick began to relax immediately.

"What'll it be, sport?"

"Medium blueberry Freezee, please!" he said happily.

"Make it a large." Dad said with a smile. When Nick looked up at his dad and tilted his head, his father shrugged. If Mom knew they were getting a Freezee at all she would've scolded Dad for spoiling their son' appetite. Gosh if she knew that Dad let him have a large one...

"Hey, you're a growing kit." Dad laughed.

"All righty! Large blueberry Freezee coming up!" the polar bear winked. He plucked a cardboard cup up from the stack of fox-sized cups and gave it a flip before popping the domed plastic cap on, filling it with a thick stream of blue slush from the dispenser.

"That'll be $1.39!" said the bear with a grin. He leaned in close and whispered. "I added extra sprinkles for you. Hope that's okay!"

"It sure is!" said Nick.

When he looked up though his ears wilted. The wallet Dad had tucked back into his pants was much too large for him. It didn't belong to his father. He knew that money was tight, that after a week of running around half the city trying to get a loan his parents were strapped for cash. Dad had spent his whole life telling Nick to be an honest fox, but now, after being turned away by every bank, after having his hopes dashed again and again, after being manhandled by a security guard as if they'd been common criminals...

Yes Dad had tried to pry Nick free from that rhino's arms, but in the last instant he must've reached down to the security guard's pocket...

"Let's go home," Dad said, taking his son's paw in his.

It was then that Nick could see the strain around his father's eyes. The smile that was so forced. Deep in his dad's green eyes he could see the shame. That was worst of all.

The Freezee was cold, and that offered some relief from the summer heat. Yet it didn't taste as sweet as it should've.