Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just made Bella blind, Edward adorably sweet, Emmett a little overprotective and Carlisle a bit of an asshole - but with good reason (I hope).
Thank you to my beta's BellaMadonna and LittleClareStar for their usual awesomeness. This story wouldn't be the same without them.
See you down below.
Chapter 13 - Typical
No matter how hard I try you're never satisfied
This is not a home I think I'm better off alone
You always disappear even when you're here
This is not my home I think I'm better off alone
- Home - Three Days Grace
EPOV
My stomach rolled and flopped from the coil of nerves that had taken up residence there. I let out a heavy sigh as I pulled my car behind Emmett's Truck in Bella's and put it into park. I needed a minute to pull myself together before going in to get Bella. I couldn't show any signs of nervousness or I knew she'd be a wrecking ball of nerves. Her senses were more alert than a K-9 sniffing out a drug deal. She'd spot my anxiety almost immediately and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted her to be relaxed and comfortable going to meet my parents. I couldn't understand why I couldn't make my muscles loosen and my stomach stop turning.
Probably because you haven't brought a girl home to meet your parents since Tanya.
Not helping.
I groaned, pissed at myself for thinking of her. That was definitely not going to help.
I didn't like to admit it, but I was scared. I wanted my parents to like Bella just as much as I did. I knew my mom would, without question, instantly fall in love with Bella. My mother loved everyone, except Tanya - but that was with good reason. My mother was a sweet and gentle woman, just like Bella. I didn't doubt for a minute that they would get along.
Alice had already taken Bella under her wing, so there was no worry there and Jasper liked anyone my sister liked. But then there was…
My father.
I groaned, throwing my forehead against the steering wheel. I couldn't help but be nervous about my father's opinion. He scrutinized every other aspect of my life, so why would Bella be any different? I hoped I was wrong. I hoped he would put on his professional voice and be polite to her. I wouldn't be able to control my temper if he wasn't. She was too important. I didn't need him scaring away the best thing that had ever happened to me.
That was it. The reason for my nervousness and also, I realized, for not being completely up front with Bella about my relationship with my father. I was worried about what she would think. It was also why I refused to tell her anything about my past in regards to girls, or Tanya specifically. She hadn't asked, so why tell? I didn't want to ruin the perfect relationship we've started with all my baggage.
I really hoped my father didn't have the audacity to bring up that past shit around Bella. That's all I'd need and I certainly wouldn't put it past him.
Pulling my head away from the steering wheel, I ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.
No fucking panic attacks, Cullen. Stop being such a whiny bitch. Everything is going to be fine. They're going to love Bella. How could they not?
Yeah, how could they not?
With my last attempt at a positive thought, I hopped out of the car and strolled up the driveway to the front porch. I climbed the steps quickly before knocking a few times on the front door.
Within seconds, the door flew open, revealing a very jovial Emmett.
"Hey man, how's it going?" he asked, holding the door open for me, a wide grin stretched across his face.
"Pretty good, how's it going around here?"
"Meh, you know how women are. Rose has been primping Bella for the last two hours," he said, shrugging and walking the few short steps into the living room and throwing his body across the couch. I laughed and shook my head as I followed him into the room and sat down in the leather chair next to the couch.
Emmett and I fell into an easy conversation, which had been happening more and more often. He'd definitely mellowed out over the last month and really seemed to trust me with his sister more and more each day, which I definitely appreciated.
"Ahem."
A throat cleared across the room, silencing the conversation between Emmett and me. My head snapped in the direction of the sound to see a smiling Rosalie standing at the end of the hallway, just before the entryway to the living room. She smiled at me before turning her head to look down the hall just as Bella made her way down, cane open and tapping the floor as she walked.
I struggled to breathe as she came into view. She looked stunning. Her dark hair was down, just how I liked it, falling in soft waves down her shoulders. Sunglasses were already perched on her face, causing me to frown slightly. I hated when she hid behind those things. I let my eyes travel downward and I noticed she was wearing a simple purple cotton dress, but it hugged her body in all the right places. My eyes traveled down her smooth legs and I swallowed thickly as I eyed her.
"Close your mouth and stop ogling my sister like a caveman."
Emmett's voice broke me from my stupor and I snapped my mouth shut, not even realizing it had been hanging open. Bella's cheeks tinged a light shade of pink at Emmett's words and she bit down on her lower lip.
"Bella if you keep biting at your lip like that you aren't going to have one left. You're going to look pretty fucking silly without a bottom lip," Emmett teased her, causing her cheeks to blush a deep red.
I shoved Emmett's arm in a warning and I got up from the chair and he shrugged as if to say, 'what, she's my sister'.
My feet carried me quickly towards Bella and I reached for her wrists as I approached, wrapping my fingers around them gently. I guided her hands toward my face, causing a smile to instantly form on her lips. I loved our usual way of greeting just as much as she did, if not more so. Her fingers gently caressed my cheeks and jaw, sending the usual tingling sensation down my spine.
"You didn't shave today," she murmured.
I smiled. "I'm sorry…?" I apologized, not really sure if that was a bad thing or not.
"No, I like it," she confessed, biting down on her lower lip again. I released one of my hands from around her wrist so I could run my thumb gently across her bottom lip, tugging it free from the grasp of her teeth. I slid my hand down so my fingers were resting right underneath her chin and tilted her head up just slightly.
"Emmett's right, if you keep chewing on your lip like that you wont have one left and I'm rather fond of it," I whispered before leaning down to capture her bottom lip between mine, tugging lightly to reiterate my point while completely ignoring our audience. I pulled away after a second and she let out a gentle sigh.
"You're stunning," I told her, pulling her hands away from my face gently and linking our fingers together as our arms hung down between us.
"Thank you. I wanted to look nice, ya know, make a good impression and all," she said with a slight shrug of her shoulders.
I leaned down to place a soft kiss against her cheek. "You always look beautiful," I complimented, "and you don't have to worry, my family is going to love you."
Bella's smile widened.
"Shall we go?" I asked, and she nodded.
"Have fun!" Rose exclaimed, before handing me a sweater for Bella.
"Thank you, Rose," Bella replied politely as we made our way towards the door.
:-:-:
The ride to my parent's house was quiet, both Bella and I lost in our own thoughts. I couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking about. I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. Both her hands were folded in her lap, her head tilted back against the seat. She looked completely at ease. Now I speculated if my nerves were completely irrational.
As soon as I pulled into the driveway, Alice launched herself out the front door towards my car.
"Alice is excited to see you. Be forewarned," I murmured to Bella. She laughed as I climbed out of the car and raced around to the other side, opening the door for her.
"Thank you," she told me as I took her hand in mine, helping her from the car. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she snapped open her cane.
"Bella!" Alice called, barreling into us and wrapping her arms around Bella in a tight hug.
"Hi, Alice. So good to see you," Bella told her, hugging her back.
"Dear brother," Alice said, turning to me and smiling. She got up on her tip-toes, placing a kiss on my cheek.
"Hello, my overly energetic sister," I responded, bringing my hand up to ruffle the hair at the back of her head.
"Stop it! I hate when you do that!" she scolded, groaning and trying to smooth her hair back down. She scowled at me, but she was a terrible actor and I could see a smile starting to tug at the corners of her mouth.
The three of us made our way up the walkway towards the house, my hand tightly gripping Bella's. She tapped her cane in front of her, giving her security and guidance as she walked an unfamiliar path.
Alice was practically dancing in front of us, as she floated across the porch and opened the door. I guided Bella up the three steps onto the front porch, one hand placed on her lower back, the other still gripping her hand. She smiled up at me in thanks. Alice held the door open as we made our way inside.
"Slip off your shoes. My mom is a cleaning Nazi," I whispered in Bella's ear as I slipped off my tennis shoes. She laughed as she slipped hers off quickly as well.
"Do you want me to take this?" I asked Bella as I reached for her cane, thinking she might not want the hassle of carrying it around with her since she didn't use it at her own house or my apartment. I was more than happy to guide her around my parent's home. Part of me really wanted to guide her, to have to be constantly touching her. It would keep me grounded. Her touch soothing to me and I knew it would calm my anxiety.
"No," she replied, shaking her head back and forth. She gripped the cane harder and her cheeks tinged pink. My eyebrows shot up into my forehead as I stared at her, slightly taken back by her forcefulness. She bit down on her lower lip and took a deep breath. "I want to hold it," she whispered.
I nodded. "Okay."
I turned to look at Alice, who was waiting for us down the hallway and she rolled her eyes at me. 'You're an idiot', she mouthed before turning around and heading into the kitchen, where I was positive my mother was waiting anxiously for us. I stared after her, a little dumbfounded, not sure what I'd done wrong.
"Let's head into the kitchen." I interlaced my fingers with Bella's again, before leading her down the hallway. "I guarantee my mom is in the kitchen eagerly waiting to meet you. I'm sure it's taken all of her self-control to not fly out here. Don't be surprised if she hugs you immediately. Alice is a lot like our mom, if that tells you anything," I explained to Bella and she giggled softly, nodding her head as she listened.
Entering the kitchen, I found my mother standing at the island in the middle of the room, pouring a bag of salad into a bowl. Alice had taken a seat at the kitchen table. Jasper sat next to her, sipping on a beer. I nodded at him and he waved back in acknowledgement. My mother smiled at me when she noticed us walk in, before throwing the empty bag onto the counter top and immediately making her way over to us.
"Edward, it's so great to see you," she said, as she approached us and wrapped her arms around me and planted a kiss on my cheek.
"You too, Mom." I released Bella's hand so I could hug my mother back. "Mom, I want you to meet Bella. Bella, this is my mother Esme Cullen."
I placed my hand on Bella's lower back and she extended her arm out to shake my mother's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen," Bella said politely.
My mother smiled widely at me before turning to Bella. "Oh dear, call me Esme. And none of that handshake business. We're all about the hugs around here," she stated before pulling Bella into a hug. The smile on Bella's face was bright and radiant and contagious. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face. It made me positively elated to see her so happy in the presence of my family.
"Gosh, aren't you just the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," my mother gushed as she pulled away from Bella and looking her over. Bella's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. She never seemed to handle compliments very well.
"Thank you," Bella replied politely.
"Can I get you anything to drink sweetie? Lemonade, water, a soda?" my mother asked Bella, as she made her way across the kitchen towards the fridge.
"Lemonade would be wonderful, thank you," Bella answered. I took her hand again before asking her if she'd like to sit down. She nodded in response and I led her to the kitchen table so she could sit next to Alice.
"Where's Dad?" I asked as I stood next to Bella's chair, tapping my fingers anxiously against the back.
"He had to work a little bit later than expected, but he'll be home in time for dinner," my mother answered, as she walked back toward us and set the glass of lemonade down in front of Bella. "Here you go, sweetie."
Bella thanked her politely before turning to Alice where they fell into easy conversation. Watching Bella interact with my sister so easily sent an unfamiliar feeling rocketing through me. It was a warm feeling of happiness and contentment;like this is where she was supposed to be, with me and my family.
"Edward, would you mind setting the table in the dining room? Dinner will be ready shortly," my mother asked, and I nodded before leaning down and kissing Bella on the cheek and telling her I'd be back quickly. She nodded, barely acknowledging me. I shook my head and laughed, grabbing the dishes and silverware before heading into the dining room.
As I finished setting the table, I heard my father's voice filtering through the house. I took a deep breath.
Here goes nothing.
I hurried back into the kitchen, not wanting to leave Bella alone for too long. Besides, I figured I'd need to introduce her to my father.
"Hello, son," my father replied as he saw me walk into the room.
"Dad," I responded, nodding my head at him. This is how our greetings always went. Cold and detached.
"Dad, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Bella Swan," I told him as I helped Bella up out of the chair so she was standing next to me and in front of my father.
"Bella, this is my father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Cullen," Bella told him as she extended her arm out for him to shake her hand. She was the epitome of politeness. My father glanced at me for a moment, before plastering a smile on his face, making me unsure if he it was sincere or if it was his 'hospital smile'.
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Bella. Please, call me Carlisle," my father replied, his voice gentle and polite as he put his hand in Bella's, shaking it firmly.
I arched my eyebrow at him.
'Please call me Carlisle'? Maybe he was going to surprise me after all and not be a complete ass.
After introducing Bella to my father, we all took our seats and dished out the food onto our plates. I explained to Bella what each dish was that my mother made and then helped her scoop the food onto her plate. I felt unsure if I was babying her too much or not. She was independent, but she had told me that she liked her food placed in certain points on her plate, at the three, six, nine, and twelve-o'clock positions, with her meat always at the six-o'clock point. This way she could eat without assistance. I still felt a bit unsure if I was doing it right, but if it bothered her she didn't say anything. She just smiled and chatted with Alice and my mother.
Conversation was going smoothly, the majority of it being dominated by Mother and Alice (surprise, surprise). My mother was practically drilling Bella; asking her about school, her hobbies, Emmett and Rosalie and pretty much anything else she could think of. I kept my eye on Bella, looking for any sign of discomfort so I could make sure my mother toned it down. But Bella was fine. More than fine, actually. She was confident, happy and eagerly answering my mothers questions. She threw out several of her own to my mother and continually complimented her on the dinner. By the look in my mother's eyes, and the glances she kept throwing me, I knew she'd already fallen in love with Bella.
Before I knew it, Bella shifted the conversation from her, to me. She brought up the gig she, Alice and the gang had attended. She raved about my playing and I started to get nervous about my father's reaction, but unsure how to tell her to stop without being obvious. My mother listened with rapt attention, but my father was silent, seemingly focused on his meal.
"The band is really wonderful and so talented. Edward has such an incredible stage presence," Bella said, her lips spreading out into a wide and proud smile while her body radiated waves of support. My heart soared as I watched her face light up when she spoke of my music. Her encouragement of my talents were incredibly overwhelming, something I still wasn't entirely used to.
My father made a scoffing sound from the end of the table as he took a bite of his food. I whipped my head around to glare at him. "Music is a waste of time," he muttered, what was meant to be under his breath, but the whole room could easily hear him. I ran my fingers through my hair and I could feel my face burn with embarrassment. Why was I getting embarrassed? I knew he was going to berate me in front of Bella, I had prepared myself. Okay so I was wrong and heis going to act like a complete ass.
Suddenly, I felt a tiny hand on my leg, massaging small circles on my thigh soothingly. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes closed tightly as I let Bella's touch calm and sooth me.
"Edward has an incredible gift. It would be a waste if he didn't utilize it," Bella defended me confidently, taking a bite of her food. I whipped my head back around to look at Bella's face and openly gawked at her for sticking up from me. I knew she must be intimidated by my father. He intimidated everyone. I could see Alice and Jasper out of the corner of my eye, their facial expressions mirroring my own. I looked at my mother and she was smirking, her eyes focused on her dinner plate. I turned my attention back to my father and his eyes were focused on Bella, anger and annoyance flashing through his blue eyes. His jaw clenched and he was gripping his fork so tight I thought it would bend in half.
"Music is a waste of time and only serves as a distraction from what's really important. Edward needs to be focusing on his courses and his future as a doctor. He already has too many distractions as it is and he doesn't need to be encouraged. It's counterproductive," my father's tone was icy and laced with irritation. My body tensed at his insinuation that Bella was one of those distractions and that her support was a hindrance to my future. He couldn't be more wrong. It was because of her support that I finally felt like I could do something worthwhile with my future; that I had the whole world at my finger tips; that no matter what I chose to do with my life it would be a good choice because it was what made me happy. I started to open my mouth to defend Bella, but my mother beat me to the punch.
"Carlisle Cullen!" she scolded, a look of disbelief on her face.
"Excuse me. I have work to do." My father set his fork down on his plate before scooting his chair back and walking out of the dining room.
My mother looked livid and embarrassed. She turned to Bella before leaning over and patting her on the arm. "I'm so sorry, honey. I don't know what came over my husband. He's not usually like this."
"Yes he is," I muttered and my mother cut her eyes at me in an angry glare.
"No I'm so sorry, Mrs. Cullen. I was incredibly disrespectful," Bella apologized, biting on her lower lip again. I could see it trembling lightly and I furrowed my brows together as I clenched my jaw tight. I placed my hand over hers that still rested on my thigh. I leaned over to her, kissing her gently on the cheek before whispering in her ear, "Thank you."
Her lip instantly stopped trembling and she forced a smile onto her face. I could kill my father for making my Bella upset.
"Please don't apologize and remember I told you to call me Esme," my mother said to Bella before turning toward Alice, "Alice, why don't you get the cheesecake out of the fridge and serve it. I'll be right back."
Alice nodded and got up at the same time as my mother left the room and headed in the direction of my father's study.
Silence filled the room as Jasper gave me a sympathetic glance. Jasper had been around my family for what feels like forever and had seen my father treat me like the dirt on his shoe time and time again over the years. He and I had numerous conversations about my father's blatant preference for my incredibly 'perfect' sister. It was because of the talks with him that I'd learned it wasn't Alice's fault and that I shouldn't take my anger at my father out on her.
Alice came back in the room with forks, plates, the cheesecake and a serving knife. She set the cake down in the center of the table before silently serving up small slices onto the small dessert plates. She handed them out and the four of us ate in silence. The minutes seemed to drag, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I was incredibly pissed off and embarrassed at how my father treated Bella. The audacity of that man knew no bounds. He thought he was God and rarely stopped to consider how his actions affected other people. It was beyond irritating. What my mother saw in him I'd yet to figure out.
"Bella, did Edward tell you his birthday is in two weeks?" Alice asked nonchalantly as she took a bite of her dessert and effectively ending the awkward silence. I paused, my mouth mid chew, to glare at her. She knew how much I hated making a big deal out of my birthday.
"Alice-"
"No he did not!" Bella interrupted me as her hand squeezed my knee, her grip tight and causing me to yelp. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Bella's tone sounded a mix of hurt and disappointed. Her bottom lip jetted out into a pout.
I groaned and then sighed, setting down my fork and bringing my hand down under the table to squeeze her hand. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles gently.
"I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday. It's not a big deal. It's only my twenty-fourth birthday. Not even a milestone," I defended, shrugging noncommittally. It really wasn't anything to get all uptight about: Just another year. "Don't drag her into your schemes and shenanigans, Alice." I tried to convey how serious I was through a glare and my tone hard tone. Alice just rolled her eyes.
"Maybe I want her to drag me into her schemes and shenanigans," Bella countered, pulling her hand out from underneath mine and setting in her lap.
"See! She wants to be a part of my schemes!" Alice exclaimed, smiling widely and clapping her hands together excitedly.
I sighed, glaring at her. I turned to look at Jasper and he just shrugged. "Give it up man. You can't win against Alice. You of all people should know this."
Jasper was right. If my sister already had something planned there would be nothing I could do to stop her. I should have known she'd pull Bella into whatever she had concocted.
A few minutes later, my mother walked back into the dining room and sat back down in her chair silently. She sliced a piece of cheesecake and put it on her plate before looking up at me and speaking. "Edward, when you're all done with your dessert, your father would like to speak with you in his office."
I nodded my head and glanced over at Alice. She gave me a sympathetic glance and shrugged her shoulders. She knew just as well as I did that this talk with my father was going to turn into a screaming match. When didn't it? But just this once, I had hoped to avoid it, for Bella's sake.
I prolonged eating my dessert for as long as I possibly could. I placed my fork on my empty plate and turned my body toward Bella.
"Bella, I'm going to go talk with my father. Will you be okay here?"
She laughed loudly and nodded her head. "Of course, Edward. Your mother, Alice and Jasper don't bite. I'm fine."
I shook my head and laughed too as I whispered, "Mother and Jasper don't, but I'm not too sure about Alice."
She just laughed harder and I saw Alice give me the stink eye, before she joined in with a giggle. Of course Bella would be okay. It was me that wouldn't be okay. I wished I could bring her with me so I could have her soothing touch while the inevitable fight took place. I knew of course that wasn't a good idea because more than likely we would be discussing Bella. The last thing I wanted was for her to be exposed to my father's arrogance again.
I kissed Bella on the forehead before making my way out of the dining room and towards my father's office. The door was shut when I approached, so I lifted my hand to knock on the door.
"Come in," my father's voice called from the other side.
I opened the door and walked in as confidently as I could.
"Mom said you wanted to see me?" I asked him as I walked across the room towards his desk where he was sitting, shifting through piles of paper.
"Why don't you sit down," my father suggested as he gestured to the large leather seat in front of his desk.
"That's okay, I'll stand."
"Suit yourself," he replied shrugging his shoulders.
I stood awkwardly in front of his desk for a few silent moments, shifting my weight back and forth from one foot to the other.
"Bella is a nice girl," he stated, not looking up from the papers on his desk. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering where he was going with this.
"Yeah she is. She's probably the sweetest and most genuine person I've ever met."
"A little mouthy towards authority figures, but I suppose that's to be expected given my tone at dinner."
"Is this is your idea of an apology?" I asked incredulously, rolling my eyes. "You're only talking to me right now to appease my mother. When really, I don't need to hear any form of a lame and insincere apology you have to offer. You should be apologizing to my girlfriend."
"Edward," he started, his tone hard as he brought his head up to look at me, "you know I just want to see you reach your full potential. You don't need any more distractions than you already have. I see how serious you are with that girl-"
"Bella, Dad. Her name is Bella. She's not just 'that girl'," I seethed, interrupting him. My arms were hanging down at my sides and I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to control my temper.
"This is what I'm talking about. You haven't known her that long and I can tell you're already way to serious about her. Do you really think this is a good time for you to be so serious with a girl? It's incredibly inappropriate at this juncture in your life. You remember what happened last time you got serious about a girl, don't you?" He arched his eyebrow at me, daring me to challenge his statement.
My nostrils flared as anger buzzed through every nerve ending in my body. "This is not the same at all! Bella is different. I care about her. She's important to me. Way more important than anyone else is now or has ever been!"
My father sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm not even going to comment on that right now. You have to be realistic. How well do you really know her? How much does she really know about you? Is she aware of your family's financial background? She has a disability, Edward. Where do you see this going? In five years? Ten years? Have you stopped to consider the burden you'll be placed with throughout the rest of your life? Have you considered that you might be her meal ticket to a cushy life?"
"She is not a burden! I can't even fucking believe you would say that. You're a doctor for God's sake! And a meal ticket?!" I yelled, shifting my weight back and forth from one leg to the other as I glared at him. My breathing was becoming uneven as I felt my agitation with him begin to elevate. "No father, she doesn't know about my family's 'financial background',because she doesn't care about that shit."
"Watch your mouth and your tone. I will not tolerate that sort of disrespect in my house," he warned, pointing a finger at me; his eyes hard and serious.
"Oh, so you can dish out the disrespect, but you can't take it?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms across my chest, my eyes narrowing at him. "You're unbelievable."
"She's a distraction," he said matter-of-factly, turning his attention back to the papers on his desk.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I snarled. "She's not a distraction! She's the best thing to happen to me. She's supportive, encouraging, and kind, and the most amazing person I've ever met!"
"Perhaps she should be more encouraging on more realistic life goals," he responded, not even looking up from the papers on his desk.
"Is this about my music? Are you still pissed that I'm in that band?"
He looked up from the desk then and just stared at me.
I rolled my eyes. "I knew it. Why can't you just be supportive? Just once?!"
"You're going to throw your life away."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I muttered, running my fingers through my hair for the umpteen millionth time since I entered my fathers office.
"I'm not him! Why can't you just see that!?" I hollered, uncrossing my arms and shaking them above my head. My body was shaking I was so angry at him. This shit was getting old and I couldn't deal with it anymore.
He glared at me his jaw set tight. "I think we're done here. I've had enough of your lack of respect for one evening."
He turned his attention back to the papers on his desk, effectively ending the conversation. I stood in front of him for a few seconds longer, just glaring at him, clenching and unclenching my fists. Turning on my heel, I crossed the room quickly to the door, swinging it open and slamming it shut behind me as I left. The wall shook violently and I let out a frustrated growl. I stalked back towards the dining room, the others still sitting around the table talking quietly. Alice, Jasper and my mother stared at me as I entered the room. Bella's head was tilted downward toward her lap.
"Mom, thank you so much for dinner, but Bella and I are going to be leaving now."
"Edward, do you really think-,"
"We're leaving," I interrupted my mother as she spoke. I walked over to Bella and held her hand, indicating that she should leave the chair. I interlocked our fingers together and started to guide her out of the room.
She stopped abruptly, yanking on my arm. "Thank you Esme for inviting me to your home," she whispered politely, her voice laced with a hint of sadness.
"You're welcome in our home any time sweetheart," my mother replied, giving Bella and me a smile.
"Thank you," Bella responded nodding her head and turning her body so we could continue walking.
The ride back to my apartment was quiet and I hardly remembered any of it. I was on auto-pilot, not even thinking about where I was going or what I was doing. Luckily, we arrived safely. I wasn't even aware of how hard I was gripping the steering wheel until the car was parked and I let go of it. My knuckles throbbed lightly as I flexed my hands. I sighed and turned to Bella, her hands were in her lap and her head was tilted downward as she chewed on her bottom lip. Again.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, reaching my arm out so I could run my fingers through her hair on the side of her head and down her neck so my palm was resting on her collarbone, my fingers splayed out across her shoulder. I stroked her neck softly with my thumb. She kept her head tilted down. "Hey," I whispered, bringing my other hand out so I could cup her cheek and turn her head towards me. I removed her sunglasses, and her eyes were watery.
"I'm not mad at you, Bella," I told her and she nodded.
"I know," she replied quietly. I leaned forward, pressing my lips to hers for a gentle kiss.
"Let's go upstairs," I said as our lips parted and she nodded.
I helped Bella out of the car and we made our way up to my apartment rather quickly and silently. Dinner at my parents and the events with my father had emotionally exhausted me. I just wanted to sit and relax and hold Bella in my arms. I needed her comforting touch and her warmth to ease away the outrage I still felt about my father's harsh words about Bella. He had been completely out of line and I always knew he had to a tendency to be an asshole, but I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt when it came to new people. I just didn't understand what his problem was.
"Edward?"
Bella's sweet voice broke me from my thoughts and I realized we were already in my apartment and sitting on the couch. Our fingers were still intertwined and she was leaning against me with her head on my shoulder. I'd been so lost in my thoughts it hadn't even registered in my mind that we'd been moving.
"Yes?" I asked her, turning my attention to her. I looked down at her face, just as her lips settled into a frown.
"I'm sorry."
"Bella, why are you apologizing? I should be apologizing to you."
"Because of the fight between you and your father. I shouldn't have said those things to him. It was inappropriate and it caused an argument."
"Trust me Bella, you did not cause that fight. That happens all the time between us."
"Still, I don't want to cause more problems between the two of you. I should have kept my mouth shut. It just really upset me that he talked about you that way." Her fists clenched in her lap and she let out an aggravated growl. I chuckled softly at how cute she was when angry. "I don't want to be a burden on you or your family."
She spoke the last few words so softly I almost didn't hear them.
"What?!" I asked, shocked. Had she heard what my father said? How could she of? The door had been shut and although our voices had been raised, my father's office was on the other side of the house.
I turned my body, forcing her to move her head from my shoulder, and leaned my back so it was up against the arm of the couch at the same time I scooped Bella up into my arms and pulled her into my lap. "Why would you say that?"
She sighed, nuzzling the side of her face into my chest. "I needed to use the bathroom, and Alice had offered to show me the way, but you know how I am with independence, so I just had her describe in detail the route and how many steps she estimated it to be from the kitchen, I just used my cane to help find it. When she told me it was just right down the hallway and to the left, I knew I'd be fine."
It dawned on me then that she would have heard everything because the bathroom was right across from my father's office. I also realized how big of an idiot I was. I should have 'showed' her around; explained where everything was located. I groaned inwardly at myself, realizing how much more I still had to learn and consider when it came to Bella. I don't know how she could be so patient with a fuck-up like me. I seriously was not good enough for her.
"I'm sorry for eaves dropping, but I heard my name so I couldn't help but listen...," she trailed off, interrupting my internal ramblings of self-depreciation.
Taking a deep breath I leaned forward, kissing her temple and then her cheek softly. Her cheek was wet, silent tears streaming down it.
"Bella? Baby, why are you crying?" I asked her, my tone soft and gentle. I turned her body slightly as I placed my hands on either side of her cheeks. I wiped the tears away with the pads of my thumbs.
"Do you think I'm a burden?" she asked softly, her voice cautious.
"What? No. Absolutely not," I responded quickly, shaking my head back and forth, as if she could see me. I removed my hands from her cheeks, placing them on her wrists so I could bring her hands up and place them on my face. I wanted her to be able to feel the muscles in my face moving as I spoke to her. I wanted her to know that I was telling her the truth.
"Absolutely not, Bella. You are the strongest and most independent person I know. You are an inspiration to me. Please don't let my father's words affect you or make you doubt how I feel about you. I care about you, Bella. A lot. He said those things to hurt me, not you. It doesn't matter to me what he thinks. It never has," I told her, my voice strong and unwavering. I wanted to be completely honest with her.
"But it should matter what he thinks. He's your father," she argued.
"It doesn't, Bella," I insisted. It really didn't.
"He's your father, Edward. The only one you'll have." Her face was lined with sadness and I suddenly realized that this had something to do with her own parents being gone. I swear to God, I could be so fucking dense.
"You just never know when someone is going to be taken from you or what the future holds. I just don't think you should spend all your time being so angry with him," she whispered. Her fingers trailed softly over my face, trailing up and down my jaw. I knew she was right. If anyone knew about loss and the unexpected it was Bella. But, to a certain extent, I knew as well.
"I understand what you're saying. There's just a lot of...history," I hedged. "You're right, he's my father but technically he's not the only one I have."
Her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What?"
I took a deep breath before speaking. This is information I should have shared with Bella a long time ago. The reason for waiting to tell her are still unclear to me, but now was as good a time as any. "Carlisle Cullen is not my biological father."
Her mouth fell open, her hands dropping down to her sides. "What?"
"Carlisle adopted Alice and me when we were little. I was three years old when that happened. Technically, he's the only father I've ever known. I didn't even come to learn that he wasn't my biological father until I was seven."
"What happened to your biological father?" Bella asked curiously, reaching up to touch my face again. One of her hands cupped my jaw as she ran the fingers on her other hand through my hair. I closed my eyes and sighed, her touch felt so good. I shifted our bodies slightly, leaning back in the corner of the couch so Bella was lying on top of me. I wanted to get more comfortable on the couch. This was going to be a long story.
"He's still alive. I mean, as far as we know. I guess, I can't say for sure. My mother told Alice and me that he left when I was just over a year old. He told my mother he couldn't handle the responsibility of two young children. He and my mother were married practically right out of high school. She got pregnant with Alice right after she graduated. Getting married seemed like the only logical thing. Then of course, a couple years later, out I pop and things turn into an even bigger mess than before."
Bella hummed in response, letting me know that she was listening. She continued to run her fingers through my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp.
"Carlisle, Esme, and my bio-dad, Edward Sr., were all friends in high school. Carlisle was a few years ahead of my mother and bio-dad in school, but they were still close friends, all living in the same neighborhood. They remained friends after Carlisle graduated and went away to college. The way my mother tells the story, she swears Carlisle always had a crush on her, which is why he never strayed too far from them. It was like he always knew my bio-dad would fuck up."
"So why did Edward Sr. leave?" Bella asked softly.
"He was a musician. He couldn't handle not being on the road doing gigs and being stuck at home with my mother and two small children."
"Ah," she replied.
"Ah?"
"I see now why your father doesn't like that you're musical."
"Yeah, my bio-dad has a lot to do with it. My mother and Carlisle always say that I'm so much like my bio-dad. I have a picture of him somewhere. I look a lot like him and I get my musical talents from him. Carlisle has always been convinced that I'll turn out to be a fuck-up like my bio-dad. He just resents him so much for what he did to my mother, basically abandoning her like he did."
"That's really very sad and unfair to you."
"I guess. But I guess I can see where he's coming from too, in a sense. My mother says Carlisle was furious when Edward Sr. left. He just packed up all his shit one day and left my mom alone with a crying baby and a tiny preschooler. I don't know all the details, but Carlisle moved in with us soon after that, confirming my mother's suspicions that he always loved her and was just biding his time until Edward. Sr. did something to fuck it up. They got married soon after that and Carlisle didn't waste anytime adopting us. My mother says he did it because he loves us and it was the right thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if he regrets it, adopting us, that is. Maybe not Alice, but me. Alice has always been his favorite, because she's so much like our mother. But me, he's always so fucking disappointed in me. It doesn't really matter what I do. Nothing's good enough."
My throat began to tighten as I finished the sentence, and I found myself becoming pretty damn emotional. I swallowed, trying to push it all down. Saying it out loud, wondering if my father regretted adopting me, was hard. It was always there in the back of my mind, and confessing that fear to Bella made the possibility all the more real.
"He loves you, Edward. He wouldn't put so much effort into making sure you're successful if he didn't."
"Alice says the same thing."
"Well, Alice is a very smart woman," Bella said and I laughed.
"Don't tell her that. She already thinks she's right all the time."
Bella giggled and nodded her head in agreement.
"Do you ever wonder where he is? Edward Sr., that is?" Bella asked, her tone hesitant yet curious.
"I do, but then I also don't. I think about him from time to time; about his music; what he's doing; is he alive, ya know? That kind of thing. I'm curious how much I'm truly like him."
"Do you ever think of looking him up and searching him out?"
"Honestly? All the time," I sighed, squeezing Bella tighter to my side. "I've never admitted that to anyone, though. Alice has never showed any interest in finding him, so I've always kept it to myself. I've always thought it wasn't fair to Carlisle for me to want to know where my biological father is – ya know after everything he did for us. And I feel like I shouldn't care or want to search him out because he left us and clearly didn't give a shit either way about Alice, my mom, or me. I mean, he gave up his parental rights when he let Carlisle adopt us."
"You have every right to know about him if you want to. He's your blood," Bella said, justifying my thoughts. I knew this in the back of my head, but I also knew how furious Carlisle would be.
"I don't know if it'd be worth it," I replied, honestly. We fell silent for a short time as I mulled things over in my mind.
"Thank you," Bella whispered, interrupting my reverie.
"For what?" I asked, confused as to what she could possibly be thanking me for.
"For confiding in me; for standing up to your father about me; for trusting me. You know I'm always here to listen and anything you need, right?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah, I know. Thank you, Bella." I kissed the top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.
Then we were silent for several moments, lost in our own thoughts again. I listened to Bella's even breaths, enjoying the sensation of her finger nails gliding along my scalp. I felt my body relax, and I suddenly realized how tired I was. My eyes began to close and I pulled Bella in closer to my side.
"Edward," Bella mumbled, jolting my awake.
"Hmm?" I asked sleepily.
"It's getting late."
"Do you want to spend the night?" I blurted out, before I even realized what I was asking. Her hand stilled in my hair, before she answered.
"Okay."
I grinned and had to control myself from jumping up off the couch and doing a happy dance.
Slowly, I pulled us up from the couch and lead her to my bedroom. I pulled back the covers and dug through my drawers before finding Bella a tee-shirt to sleep in.
"Here's a tee-shirt. I thought it might be more comfortable than sleeping in your dress."
"Okay," she replied, biting her on her lower lip as I placed the t-shirt in her hand.
"I'll go in the bathroom so you can have privacy to change," I told her, kissing her on the forehead and heading into the bathroom. She smiled and told me 'thanks'. I'd seen her more than half naked before, but she was still pretty shy around me and I wanted to make her as comfortable as possible.
When I came back in the room, Bella was sitting on the edge of my bed with her hands in her lap, looking slightly awkward but fucking beautiful all at the same time. My shirt was pretty large on her and I couldn't help the silent groan as I eyed the creamy skin of her legs. She looked so good in my clothes. I wanted her to wear them all the time.
I walked around to the other side of the bed, climbing onto the soft mattress before scooping Bella up into my arms. I pulled us underneath the covers and snuggled Bella into me, her back up against my chest. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her.
This was happiness. This was all I would ever need. Bella snuggled up in my arms, the warmth of her skin and the scent of her body permeating the air around me.
"Good night, Edward." I heard Bella's sweet voice whisper before sleep overtook me.
A/N: Phew. You all still with me? That was the longest chapter yet! Did you see that coming? Teacher1209 was the only reader to guess Carlisle wasn't Edward's biological father. I didn't drop too many hints, but I wasn't sure how to without giving it away! As usual, reviews are always appreciated! =)
LOTS of thank you's to hand out. Thank you to the ladies at KStew411 for rec'ing Angel Eyes last week. I was beyond shocked and incredibly greatful. Link to their review is on my profile.
Thank you to NoahEvansMom/lauras1sttime for hosting the Twitter read-along on 3/24 and choosing AE for it! Thank you to Maria2906, Kassiah, IzzyHeartsRob and Renas40 for reviewing each chapter as they read!
Also, I entered the Black Balloon one-shot contest. So read my entry then head over to the C2 and read the other fabulous entries!!