Chapter 13: 自作自受

"…I don't believe this." Elliot clenched the glass of 'juice' he was holding in his right hand, as he stared, with Leo trying to hide his giggles behind his hand. Giggling!

The party which had started off innocently enough, had turned into a ….Elliot couldn't find a good enough word to describe his feelings. Well actually he could, but Leo who seemed a goddamn mind reader these days would smack him on his head, and Elliot's pride was feeling sore enough already. First of all: Everyone he knew (shorty's friends, shorty's family, the Rainsworths, some of Pandora's staff, even the Barmas) had been invited. That was an insult in itself. Where were the Nightrays? Even if Mother and Father were too busy, his brothers, his sister! Sure they might turn down the offer (or only Vanessa would come to save her dear brother Elly from corrupting influences), but for Oscar Vessalius and Co to not even send an invitation!

"Elliot, you're going to shatter the glass from your grip."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious Leo," Elliot shot back, eyes narrowing when he spotted Oz who obviously had taken more 'juice' than he should have, boasting to everyone within earshot how he had fearlessly led the rescue team, how Gilbert and Elliot had depended on him to clear their doubts and fears, at least before Xerxes Break threw a cake at him.

Leo opened his mouth to speak, but closed it silently as he watched Elliot grumble something about disrespecting Nightray's honour, before the young Nightray tipped his head back to drink the wine Oscar Vessalius had provided.

"…Oi Leo," Elliot said, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. God, he never understood why his brothers and father drank at least one glass of wine every meal time. The wine tasted foul, even though it did take some bitterness Elliot felt off. Maybe Ernest was right, you grew into wine. Or something like that, considering Ernest himself had been half-drunk at the time and was flirting with other noble women at the same time, which eventually caused Vanessa to storm in and box his ears. "Why did you go along with smashing the glasses I bought for you? They were a gift you bloody well knew that. And when did you get a replacement without asking my permission?! Aren't you my servant?" Elliot trailed off, choosing to take another gulp of wine. Why did he feel so…weirdly embarrassed-angry? It was stupid to be thinking over this. It was only a pair of glasses.

Leo tapped his fingers against the table, fingers tracing a pattern on an old tea stain on the tablecloth. Well, what to say to that? "I would never smash the glasses you gave me when I agreed to become your servant Elliot. The ones you found were produced from Sharon Rainsworth. So Elliot-" Leo reached forward, removing the wine glass from Elliot's hand so he could squeeze it. It was a pity Elliot's gloves got in the way, but his master would probably consider this too corny anyway. "Don't ever worry about me."

"…Bullshit." Elliot mumbled, his hand limp in Leo's. "You can't even defend yourself, your shooting is horrible."

Leo snickered. "Remember the first time you gave it to me and I tried using it?" Leo said, withdrawing his hand from Elliot's allegedly in favour of pushing up his glasses which was slipping down his nose, but really to hide his smirk.

"Yeah, you pointed it straight at my head and said 'Like this?' You're soooo lucky none of my family was around, they would have sent you straight back to the orphanage." Elliot got up, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the headache he felt coming on. He hadn't even drunk that much, god forbid the shorty see this and call him a lightweight like he did all the time with Gilbert.

"Ohhh~ So I should go down on my knees and thank my merciful master for not telling his family?" the noirette teased, going over to Elliot's side. "The sofa there is unoccupied, let's rest awhile before going back to our room." Leo raised his voice, mainly because Alice (who was drunk) was arguing with Gilbert (amazing not too drunk yet) over something.

"…You're reading too many trashy romance novels."

"Oi Shheweed head, let me eat in peace," Alice all but drunkenly growled, grabbing the plate of roast chicken that the raven had taken away from her by force. Didn't Seaweed Head have anything better to do than eye her meat?

"Stupid rabbit, it's drenched in wine, you can't eat it." Gilbert said back, yanking the plate back. When the party had just started, Break had walked by and 'accidentally' knocked a bottle of wine he was pouring into a glass right into the pile of food on Alice's plate. Since the brunette refused to waste food, she had continued eating while Gilbert was otherwise occupied.

"Bah!" Alice spat at Gil, kicking him in the stomach, clutching the plate to her chest and her hair was all but bristling. "It's mine! It-" Alice's intoxicated mind saw a way to rub salt in the raven's wound further, "It tastes even better than your tasteless cooking!"

"…That was mean of Alice…" Oz said to Sharon, where they were relaxing on a loveseat with Break behind them. (This had not escaped the attention of Break, whose snickering had caused some askance glances from Sharon.)

"What do you expect Oz-kun? You had to pick two lightweights to be your overage l-" Thankfully Break was saved from getting hit by Sharon's harisen by a sob coming from a certain raven.

"How could you..!" Gil choked in disbelief, the tears influenced by the one cup of liquor he had welling up and dripping down his cheeks despite himself. The stupid rabbit had said his cooking was the best she had tasted hadn't she?! And now-! Alice said that market-bought food was better than his! The sound of clicking from Sharon's camera as she delightedly took his teary face didn't help Gilbert's self-confidence either. Gilbert's legs wobbled as he lurched forward in Alice's direction, looking like the poster boy for Lutwidge's 'unknown' paedophile.

"Oz-kun." Break propped himself onto the edge of the loveseat, leaning over to whisper into Oz's ear as a thump signalled the raven collapsing onto the floor. "I'm getting a sense of déjà vu here…"

"Gil just can't hold his liquor…" Oz rose up, walking over to the fallen raven. How had Gil survived the ten years Oz had been trapped in the Abyss? Surely Pandora must have hosted drinking parties every now and then. At the very least Gil must have had to go to bars to stake out someone suspicious like Edgar did in Volume VII Part B of Holy Knight!

"I can't move my legs…" Gil whimpered on the floor, his legs twitching as he struggled to move, successfully managing to look like some kind of drunken spider. "I-I'm shrry stupid rabbit," Gilbert hiccupped as he tried to get to his feet, only to tumble down again. "C-cooking ish the only thing I'm good at, but I-I can't even meet your standards...ouch! Y-young master…?" the raven stammered, his eyes meeting Oz's, who had just hit him on the head.

"How wimpy can you get Gil. And don't call me by that title its embarrassing!" Oz said, dragging Gilbert up, dusting him off. Oz shivered involuntarily as the speed of the clicking behind them sped up, before flinching as a hand landed on his shoulder.

"Whatcha you both doing?" Oscar laughed, as he clapped the two of them on the back, having taken a few too many sips of wine himself. "Oh Gil, you must really learn to hold your liquor. You're not considered a proper adult until you do so, understand?"

"Boku…Ore..?" the raven sniffed, barely registering Oscar being there. Having people like Oz and Oscar-sama in his life being manly and charming and perfect in so many ways…no, they were perfection. They would always be role models to him…

"Sayyy Oz, Gil. I found something that I thought you might be interested in hearing." The Vessalius fished out a crumpled piece of paper from his breast pocket, smoothing it out while still having his other arm secured tightly around Oz and Gil, just in case they made a run for it. "It's something I found in your room after making sure Ada was safe from corrupting influences." Oscar left out the part that when he had returned from Pandora, he had thoroughly scouted Lutwidge Academy from top to bottom with one of the convenient swords that they hung on the words for a certain bi-coloured eyed blond. "I printed several. Let's see…ah here's a short one of you and Gil." And since Oscar couldn't find Vincent, the only thing to do that would vent his annoyance was to torment his dearest brother-in platonic ways of course.

"Uncle…" Oz had a very good idea what his Uncle was talking about. Reading fanfiction in private was fine, especially if he could embarrass Gil later. Not when Break was in the same room. Oz could hear munching sounds-was Break eating popcorn?! "Don't!"

"Young master Oz I am home now. And I am looking so badass with my shirt off."

"Oooh Mister Gil oooh~~~~"

Oz covered his face with his hands. What he would give to be drunk like Gil. Even Alice was focusing on them now, her satay half-way to her mouth, forgotten. And for Uncle Oscar to say it in that tone of voice which conveyed the message that Oz was a wilting maiden that needed to be saved from a Big Bad, well Oz wasn't going to be able show his face in public after this.

"Your scar Gil oohh" Cue Break going into choked snickers as he covered his mouth with his sleeve.

"Gil let's do it here and now~" Oscar raised the piece of paper to allow everyone to see that under the words was a badly printed drawing of Gilbert holding Oz, complete with noodle arms.

"Yes. And I will leave my hat on." By now, Sharon was holding a handkerchief to her face, to muffle her squeals.

"At Pandora-Chains appearing, Sharon Rainworth swooning." Sharon was wondering by now whether she knew the person who had written this.

"Elsewhere-Glen was getting head"

"It was all a dream"

"The end"

"I'm not quite sure who this Glen person is, but I thought it was a charming little tale," Oscar continued, even as Gil was being bitch-slapped awake by Oz to witness.

"Now," the Vessalius said, releasing Oz and Gil from his hold, "I have several more that I printed out, but I'm afraid that since Lady Sharon is here it's not entirely appropriate..." Thank God, Oz thought, drooping on the floor in relief. The blond couldn't help but notice that Sharon was looking put out at this, even as she was giving Break a meaningful Look who was rolling on the floor.

"However! I treat Oz and Gilbert as my own flesh and blood, and it's every parent's duty to embarrass their children. So here's another one! Don't worry to you two, you'll get your turn." Oscar nodded wisely to Elliot and Leo in case they were feeling left out. In the meantime, Oz and Gil were beating a hasty retreat to hide behind Alice.

"Ahem!" Oscar cleared his throat loudly, while the rest braced themselves. "Alice-kun was racing down the winding corridors of Pandora. She had left Lady Sharon's company as she had felt Oz calling her, only to happen upon an obscene act that would scar her innocent meat-loving life forever: The candy clown, also known as Xerxes Break, was performing an M-Rated 21 cicada block on Gil and Oz. To be fair, Break was actually doing it on Oz only, since Gil was cowering behind Oz while waving a little white flag.

"Seeing Oz and Seaweed Head were in danger, Alice swung into action: She kicked Break squarely between the legs throwing him by brute force aside, tossed the master and servant pair into her arms bridal-style, and rode off heroically into the sunset on Equus, leaving the old man with his creepy doll alone and broken doomed to a life of dying slowly from obesity due to eating too much cake. Oz and Gilbert were so grateful for Alice to rescue their unworthy selves that they knelt down and kissed her feet, swearing to bring her meat as soon as they had hot sweaty buttsex to get rid of their pent-up for ten minutes hormones-"

"What are all of you up to? Sheryl is waiting!" Duke Barma huffed as he stalked into the room, fanning himself furiously with his trustworthy harisen. Ugh. The heat from summer is unbearable even inside Pandora for my hair. I'll need to stock up on L'Oreal. Rufus smirked, flipping his hair which gave its obligatory bishouen sparkle.

"Cockblocked by Duke Barma…! I refuse to accept this…" Sharon mumbled, clenching her hands into her dress, before flushing a deep red at the un-lady words she had uttered.

"I'll have to agree with the bird-brained duke this time around. We mustn't keep Sheryl-sama waiting." Break sat up, licking his fingers to get the very last of the sugar off it. "Ahhh, but why does Sheryl-sama want to see us in the first place now that the party is over? It must be because she's so tired of listening to you blathering lovesick nonsense Duke Barma ouch!" The albino yelped, receiving a hit from Reim who had crept inside the room after Duke Barma. Unfinished paperwork hurt.

"Sheryl does not wish to see you Mad Hatter. Nor even her own granddaughter…she wishes to see only the Vessalius boy and his servant, the Black Rabbit, the young Nightray and his servant." Rufus's gaze swept distastefully over the scene, eyes lying on Elliot (who was resting his head on Leo's lap where he was lying on the sofa). "Hurry up and do not waste anymore of Sheryl's precious time."

"Okay, okay we're going." Oz helped Leo push Elliot out of the door while Alice played with Gil's jacket strings.

"Lady Sheryl…you wanted to see us?" Gilbert timidly ventured, taking off his hat to show respect to the elderly Rainsworth and to hopefully hide his shaking hands. Sheryl-sama couldn't have just wanted to see us for no reason god what does she want with us is it just me or is it suspicious that the only girl here is Alice oh god it's Armageddon.

"Take a seat, take a seat first everyone~" Sheryl shifted aside the paperwork she had been working on, eyes trailing over the five, half which were still under the effects of alcohol. How to put it? "It has come to my ears that, beginning with Elliot-kun, some of you have recently been reading some works of fiction that are meant for adults. Now, do not mistake me, I did not ask for you to talk about embarrassing things like that~" Sheryl paused here, her twinkling eyes examining her audience.

"While Elliot-kun and his servant should be fine, as my granddaughter assures me that they are flamboyantly gay-pardon me, deeply in love with each other-I am more concerned about Oz-kun and company. Such things may distract you from your goal to find Alice-san's memories for example…it worries me greatly."

"…" What the hell do I say to that! Gilbert wanted to kick himself for ending up in such an awkward conversation. It was nearly as embarrassing as the time a few months before Oz's coming-of-age ceremony Oscar-sama had decided he and Oz were ready for the Grown Up Talk. Oscar-sama probably knew I had feelings for Oz even by then…was I really that obvious…Ada-sama probably knows too…I'm such a failure…Gilbert sniffed, indulging in a bit of self-pity before Oz socketed him in the side, giving him a glance that clearly said that drunken or not, Gilbert better suck it up and not shrink in the face of oppression.

"Sheryl-sama...please do not worry." Oz spoke up, inwardly what was Sheryl's motive. She couldn't be hinting towards Alice being a Chain and all, could she? "Nothing has changed between me, Alice and Gil…we've only become closer and more understanding of each other." Oz levelly met Sheryl's eyes, not flinching.

A moment passed. Then-

"Fu fu fu, no need to show that unpleasant face Oz-kun~ I just wouldn't want a repeat of what happened with your uncle and his wife to happen with Alice-san~"

"I totally understand Sheryl-sama~ Byyyy the way, did Break put you up to this?" What did she mean by uncle and his wife?

"Me, obey Xerx-kun? Fu fu~ Xerx-kun would never let me live it down~ And Ru-kun would bother me even more too~" Sheryl cheerfully said, taking out her harisen reminiscently.

"I bet…"

"Wait…! And you stop sniffing me!" Elliot said, bristling at the brunette. Alice harrumphed at that, opening her mouth to tell Elliot exactly what she thought of him before stiffening in surprise as Gil hastily began petting her head to keep her content.

"How did you know about those fanfics?" Elliot asked. Damn his head was throbbing even worse now. At least he wasn't stuttering or crying like Gilbert.

"Oh? Sharon-chan introduced them to me~ A few months ago she mentioned that after reading the latest volume of Lady Sylvie and Her Mongrels she felt inspired to try writing, since there was such copious amounts of material around her to draw inspiration from. Fufu, let me thank you both. Sharon-chan says you two have been a great inspiration for her writing, please continue with the adorable tsun master and servant act~ Now I'm sure you have better things to do with your time than entertain an old lady~ But before you go, I have a few presents for you~" Sheryl handed them several rectangular presents covered in the Janta-doll wrapping paper before dismissing everyone.

"I should have known from the start Sharon Rainsworth was behind all this. Doesn't she have anything better to do with her time then sip tea and make other people's lives miserable!" Elliot vehemently said as soon as the group was a safe distance away.

"You're exaggerating Elliot. Sharon-chan doesn't mean any harm. What do you think is inside these presents?" Oz turned his present over and shook it.

"Nothing good that's for sure…" Gilbert mumbled, swaying as he walked. Should I smoke now or not? But if I do, Oz will tease me and Elliot will hit and shout at me…

"On the contrary, Sheryl-sama gave us Education~" Leo held up his present which he had already unwrapped, showing a doujinshi which had a picture of Elliot and Leo holding hands (Elliot looking appropriately tsundere) with the words Elly/Leo R-18 below in pink floaty text~

There was a moment of silence where everyone looked down at their gift.

"OZ..!" Gilbert screeched as Oz tore off the wrapping paper, to unveil an Oz/Gil doujinshi. "Where did Sheryl-sama get all this?"

Leo tugged at Elliot's arm. "Come Elliot we have books to bond over~" Leo took Elliot's hand and prised the Nightray's gift away just in case Elliot did something stupid like hack it into pieces with his sword. "Bye Oz-kun, Alice-kun and Gilbert-kun~ Have fun~" Leo waved cheerfully at them before dragging off Elliot who looked grim as he contemplated the immediately future before him.

"What did the stupid rabbit get…She's not old enough to see this…" Oz sweat-dropped when he realised the truth in Gil's words. "Alice, what doujinshi did you get?"

"It's a book like the one that woman showed me before. It's called Lady Sylvie Guide to Educating Your Mongrel!" Alice bit her book, nibbling it. For some reason it smelt like it had been drenched in perfume. There was also a little note on the front where Sheryl had written in cursive writing "I have a sense you may need this~ Feel free to approach me or Sharon-chan if you do not understand fully~"

"…Let's burn that book." Oz said, as the trio begun walking back to their rooms.

"...You're one to talk Oz."

AN: The title for this chapter (自作自受) means to suffer from one's own actions in Chinese (You know, the saying you laid your bed now you have to lie on it. Oryouknowitcouldbechangedtof uckforElliotandLeocoughcough ) And can I just say I have a headcanon of Rufus learning how to tap-dance perfectly because Sheryl wanted him to learn how to do so back when they were younger. The epilogue should be up within a few days~