Chapter 13: World Without End

Jimmy jumped awake and sat up quickly, though doing so sent dizzying pain through his head. He swayed unsteadily for a minute, collecting his thoughts.

Why in God's name did Curly hit me?

He dove inside the shelter, and wasn't surprised to find it empty. Curly had Lou. It was a frightening thought given the unhinged look in Curly's eyes.

He quickly found both guns, holstered them, and put his hat on, though it looked ridiculous with the buckskins and Indian vest. He vaulted onto the appaloosa horse he was used to riding, and then found himself in a predicament.

The light rain still fell and would have washed any traces of Curly away. He looked up toward the mountains and reasoned that Curly would be trying to move further away from the white settlements.

He charged his horse up the trail.

Lou's teeth were chattering when Curly finally pulled the horse to a stop beside a tiny stream.

"We'll rest the horse," He told her shortly as he lifted her down. He wound a buffalo robe around her, covering the bloody dress. Some of it was fresh blood, she noticed; the ride had been long, the terrain rough.

She looked at him, her eyes very bloodshot, her skin chalky white.

"Why are you doing this, Curly?" She asked him, her voice pleading for understanding, "Why? We are your friends!"

Curly mumbled something to himself that Lou couldn't understand.

"Where are we going?" She persisted.

"Where our spirits may fly free, like Raven Wing."

"What are you talking about Curly?" She demanded as fiercely as she could, "Curly, I'm supposed to go home, to my family! They need me!"

"You'd go back to them, after what they did to Raven Wing?" Curly wondered, looking like an animal about to strike. Lou found herself terrified by him.

"Curly, there were both Indians and white men in that war party. I am white, Jimmy is white, Kid is white, and you are forgetting Curly, you are half-white!"

"No!" Curly screamed at her and his hand moved like lightning to strike her across the cheek.

Lou brought her hand up to cover the cheek now burning with the sting of his hand, her eyes wide, "Raven Wing would be so ashamed of you for doing that!"

Curly then surprised Lou again by breaking into great sobs. He doubled over and screamed with the pain ripping him apart. Lou cautiously scooted closer to him, putting her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Tears started down her face too.

"It will get better," She whispered, though she thought it a lie. She knew that if she ever lost either of the men she loved she would never stop feeling the pain. Suddenly it occurred to her what Kid must be going through thinking she was dead.

"No, it is the end!" Curly said, "I wish to die!"

Lou bent her head as another wave of grief washed over her. He had been so vibrant and alive just a day ago, as had his beautiful wife. Now one man's pride had destroyed not only them, but an entire village. And she was at the center of it all.

"I wish to die," He repeated pitifully.

"Don't say that Curly." She whispered, but she couldn't blame him for wishing for death. He had lost everything important to him.

"There is no time," Curly sobbed, "I must join her soon or my spirit will not find them!"

Lou was terrified for and of him.

Curly stirred slightly. Lou had fallen asleep, and Curly did not have the heart to wake her and push on. He'd decided to let her go back to the camp. Him taking her from Jimmy was no different than Dark Wolf taking Raven Wing from him.

Himself, he could not go back. What he was going to do, he did not know for sure, but he thought he could not be in this world without Raven Wing.

Curly quietly stooped over Lou, checking her wound. He'd probably done much harm to her by moving her about for so many hours. It was still oozing blood, and her coloring looked too pale.

Torn between seeing her home safe, and the agony of going back to the place that had been his home but was no longer, he hesitated. If he knew Jimmy, Jimmy would be riding hard after them. And Fire Dancer...Lou, he corrected himself, did not need looking after. The horse knew the way, even if she did not, and she could see herself back. He did not think he had another goodbye in him.

In the end he left her the horse and the rifle, and taking his bag, tomahawk, and bow, he disappeared into the trees while she slept, footsteps as quiet as a ghost.

Lou awoke to the sound of a heavy movement in the overgrowth around the stream, and struggled to a sitting position. She looked around in confusion for Curly, saw that he had disappeared with most of his things.

With a small cry of pain she stood, hobbled to the horse he'd left for her.

Dark Wolf emerged from the woods behind her, advancing on her slowly. With speed that surprised her, Lou lurched for the horse and drew the rifle from its sheath behind the crude saddle Curly used. She was still not fast enough.

Dark Wolf was pointing the same gun he'd tried to kill her with before right at her head.

Lou could do nothing but stand on trembling knees. All she wanted to do was to go home!

"Why?" Lou demanded of him. "Why do you have so much hate? How could you kill them?"

Dark Wolf minced no words, and pulled the trigger.

Lou closed her eyes, waiting for the roar of the shot that would kill her.

However, the gun clicked quietly, and did not fire. It was jammed.

Dark Wolf pulled out his knife and started riding toward her. Lou raised the rifle and took careful aim, cocking the hammer with a decisive click that seemed louder than it should have in the middle of the quiet afternoon.

Dark Wolf stopped his horse and looked at her, fear in his eyes. It gave her endless satisfaction to see him afraid after the terror he had wrought.

"Throw down that weapon and get off your horse!" Lou growled at him.

Dark Wolf was in no position to argue. He stood at the animal's side, glaring defiantly at her.

"You don't deserve an honorable death," Lou growled, fury making her knuckles white as she grasped the gun. She saw Raven Wing fall again and again in her mind's eye.

"You can't do this to me. It is not the way of the white man," Dark Wolf said with certainty.

"I'm not a white man!" Lou growled. "I am Fire Dancer, remember?"

The gun exploded in the early morning air, and Dark Wolf sank to the ground without another sound.

The only regret Lou had was that she hadn't the time nor skill to make him suffer more.

Lou let the gun slide out of her hands and fell onto her knees. Curly was gone God knows where, but she was afraid he was going there intent on dying. She had no idea where he'd gone, if she'd ever see him again. The insanity and senselessness of the last days nearly drove Lou mad.

Alone in the woods, with Dark Wolf dead by her hand, Lou's shoulders bent and she cried. Her grief turned over to fury. Her scream ripped through the valley. The horse shied away from her. She bent over again as the sobs wracked her. She screamed again and again, unable to control herself. The loss of the past two days had been too much, and she felt she would break under the strain. The pain of her wound was minute compared to the injury to her soul.

And then, Jimmy was suddenly there beside her and gathering her tightly in his arms, holding her closely enough that she thought he was trying to absorb her pain for her.

"It's over now, Lou," he told her, "It's all over."

She cried harder.

"Curly?" Jimmy murmured when Lou had quieted. His heart had stopped altogether when he had heard the shot, thinking he was too late to save Lou from Curly. He was confused to find her alone with Dark Wolf's body.

"Gone. I think he means to die alone," Lou said.

She saw Jimmy fight for control of his sorrow. Wordlessly, his jaw clenched against the pain that news brought him, he nodded. Lou felt the tightness in her throat become unbearable again.

"We'll take Dark Wolf back to the village. The people should see that they have been avenged." Jimmy was not gentle with Dark Wolf's body. He tossed it over his horse like a sack of flour. Lou thought he looked like he could do further harm to the dead man.

"I murdered him, Jimmy."

The confession rose, almost unbidden to her lips. Jimmy turned to her in surprise.

"What do you mean 'murdered', Lou? He has been trying to hurt you since the beginning."

"His gun jammed when he came for me. I had the rifle and he had a knife. I made him throw the knife down, and then I shot him. I shot to kill. H-he was unarmed."

"Lou, you can't beat yourself up about that. First chance he got, he would have killed you. God knows he's tried enough times."

"That's the thing, Jimmy...I ain't sorry I did it. What does that say about me?"

"That you recognized him as evil and stopped him from hurting anybody else," Jimmy assured her. "He had it coming...if not from you, from me."

She stared at the body.

"Lou, you think you can ride back to the village? I don't like being out here not knowing where the rest of his gang are."

Lou nodded, was determined not to make a sound of discomfort as he gently lifted her to his horse and swung on behind her. She was exhausted, emotionally and physically, and despite the pain she was in, she dozed fitfully, waking with a start from dream after unsettling dream as her mind tried to make some sense of the past days.

They rode back into the village a few hours later.

The people, still shocked at the destruction of their homes and families watched them numbly as one more warrior was brought home dead, and their grief was too great for there to be more than quiet satisfaction at Dark Wolf's death.

Running Horse walked to meet them, the lines bracketing his mouth seeming to deepen in even more pain as he realized his daughter's husband was not ever coming home.

"I will send the medicine man for Fire Dancer. She is bleeding again," Running Horse told them in slow, hesitant English.

"You are both free to return home when you wish," Running Horse murmured. "There is nothing left here for you."

Jimmy nodded. "The raiders?"

"Being tracked by the men that can. They will die."

With that, Running Horse, bent with defeat, turned and walked away.

Although Lou might have made a case for traveling home right away, Jimmy was insistent she take a few days to heal. Given the amount of pain she was in after her long ride, she could not protest.

The medicine man took great care with her injuries, and his calming presence was good for her body and her mind. They were given another teepee, erected by tribesmen. Over the next days, many of the tribe brought them small tokens and gifts.

The day after Lou and Jimmy returned, the warriors returned. They were grimly satisfied, and by the blood that covered their weapons, and the scalps that decorated their belts, she supposed they had exacted their revenge on their attackers.

On the third day, the medicine man told them that Lou was fit enough to ride slowly. It was to be their last night in the village.

They had taken to sleeping curled together, Jimmy frequently giving comfort to Lou when she awoke devastated with the reality of what had happened after dreaming of Raven Wing, or when the pain on her wound kept her wakeful.

On their last night, Lou woke, aware something was wrong. Jimmy's warmth was gone from her side. She wondered if it was morning, but the depth of the shadows told her it was not. Slowly, a soft sound worked into her awareness and she picked her head up to see Jimmy, sitting by himself before their fire. His legs were crossed, his elbows on his knees, and his face buried in his hands. His shoulders shook with the force of his sobs as he went silently to pieces.

He had been a rock, had comforted her endlessly while she grieved. She had been so wrapped in her own pain, she hadn't realized the sorrow he had shouldered. He, too, had lost people dear to him, had witnessed the untimely death of beautiful, vibrant souls with everything to live for. And Curly... perhaps his fate was worse than death, but they would not know what had become of him.

Lou knew suddenly that the price of carrying both their pain had been great to him, and Jimmy had simply buckled under the enormous weight of it.

"Jimmy…" she whispered, undone by his pain all over again. She moved as quickly as her injury allowed to his side, and as he had for her, she gathered him in her arms and held hard, absorbing his agony as well as she could. The force of his grief rocked them closer.

She felt him start to resist, to gather his strength about him like a tattered cloak, but she whispered, "please, let me give you comfort, Jimmy."

And he bent his face into her neck, put his arms around her, and finally felt all the grief he had been holding at bay, for Raven Wing, Curly, the child they had both wanted so badly, the people of the village, and for Lou, and for what he feared would be lost between them when they left this place in the morning.

Neither of them slept any more that evening, but they lay down together at last, facing each other in the firelight. Jimmy lightly traced the outline of her lips with his fingertips, then pressed his lips gently against hers. It was a whisper of a touch, but it was eloquent in its longing. It was precious and bittersweet, what was between them after their shared experience and heartbreak. She wished she could make love to him again, by the fire, but knew her injuries wouldn't permit it. The longing in his gaze told her he was thinking the same thing.

His lips curled into a rueful smile, "I don't know that I will ever stop wantin' you Lou."

"Me too. Where'd you learn how to...dance...like that, Jimmy Hickok?"

She had the pleasure of watching him blush up to the roots of his hair, and they both laughed, just a little, their heavy hearts lifting a bit as Lou edged closer to Jimmy, wanting his nearness on this final night they would be alone together.

The next morning, she stood beside Jimmy. He held the reins to both the little chestnut horse that they had ridden in on, and the appaloosa Jimmy had ridden since his arrival. It had been a parting gift from Running Horse.

The chief stood before them now.

He had aged a thousand years since last week, Lou realized.

A younger brave translated for the chief, who did not have all the English words he wanted to say.

"He says you have both shown great courage and heart. You are both free to go, but also free to stay. You are free to stay not as captives, but as members of the tribe. He says he will miss you both. He says that his daughter loved Fire Dancer very much and he wishes for her to have something that belonged to Raven Wing."

Lou's eyes filled with tears as Running Horse reached a trembling hand into his pocket.

He opened it and Lou gasped. He held out a turquoise necklace that she'd never seen Raven Wing go without.

"It was her mother's," The brave translated, as Lou looked into Running Horse's eyes. "It has gone from mother to child for many, many moons. Raven Wing would have wished Fire Dancer to have it. To pass to her daughters."

"I-I couldn't," Lou whispered to the brave, "Tell him it's too much."

Running Horse sensed her hesitation and reached out to close her fingers on the necklace, keeping her hand in his. He then reached forward to cradle her neck and bring his forehead down to rest on hers.

Lou leaned against his leathery skin and closed her eyes. She did not need a translator as the old man prayed for her safe passage home, and for a happy life.

He then moved to Jimmy and brought the younger man's head down to rest against his own, whispering words of prayer and protection for him too.

And then, he turned and left abruptly, walking with the hunched shoulders of a broken man.

"Will he be all right?" Lou whispered to Jimmy when he had disappeared from sight.

"I hope so, Lou," He said softly, but he doubted it. He turned to her. "Lou, do you wanna ride on your own or with me? If you'd be more comfortable on your own, she can manage your weight," he said, motioning to the express horse that had hurt itself running for them so long ago.

She wordlessly motioned for Jimmy to pull her up behind him. He did so, and looked baffled when she wrapped her arms around him tightly. Smiling, she explained.

"Remember? You've said from the beginning, we get out of this together or not at all," Lou told him and tears rose in her eyes as she pointed out, "We rode in here together, and that's how we're riding out."

Lou's eyes took in everything a last time as they began their exit. Memories assaulted her. They played in her mind clearly, bringing a bittersweet smile to her face, even as tears spilled down her cheeks.

As she looked at the spot where their teepee had stood she clearly saw Jimmy looking at her proudly and waving his hand at his first creation while Lou watched the structure collapse on him. She looked to Raven Wing and Curly's fallen tee pee and saw Raven Wing emerge from it for the very first time, the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. She heard all of Curly's unannounced arrivals in their teepee, heard the conversations and laughter with Jimmy over whatever she'd tried to make edible for supper. She remembered the day Jimmy had taken her for the ride in the meadow, the wild chase for his hat, and she felt his kiss. She could hear Raven Wing's laughter at the hopeless cause of teaching her to weave. She could nearly feel the heat from the fire as Curly drug her around it, first reluctantly then she could see him as he struggled to keep up with her. Jimmy making love to her with such great tenderness and passion. Then she glanced toward the pond, where Raven Wing had laughed at her fear of the origin the soap and had later helped prepare her for her wedding. Her eyes turned to the creek and she remembered sitting there with Raven Wing, as Raven Wing had told her of her dreams for the baby in the last peaceful moments of her life.

She could hear, see, and feel it all so clearly that she expected to turn her head and find Raven Wing running up to her with a bright smile on her face, and Curly not far behind her.

Of course, she and Jimmy had their share of terror in the time they'd been there, but those times seemed distant as Jimmy drew their horses to a halt at the edge of the village.

Jimmy drew a deep breath, as if for courage to face what was coming. Lou lay her cheek against his back.

As they exited the village, Lou fought not to look back, knowing that it would only hurt her more. She couldn't resist one last glance over her shoulder though, just before the village disappeared from sight. She gasped at what she saw.

A beautiful black bird circled the village gracefully, intertwining with the smoky fog that still clung to the village. It was a hauntingly beautiful sight.

Jimmy heard her intake of air, and turned to see what was wrong. His eyes found the bird and a slow smile spread across his face.

"A raven," Jimmy said softly, and reached to cover her hand with his own.

Lou and Jimmy both felt a small measure of peace settle over them. Lou closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Jimmy's back, touching the necklace that Running Horse had given her. She suddenly saw Raven Wing so clearly that she would have sworn the woman stood before her.

After that moment, she was never able to picture the beautiful woman so clearly again.

When Lou looked back, the raven had flown away.

It had been a journey encasing a lifetime of joy and sorrow, of tears and laughter, of heartache, but most of all, it had been a journey of love. The road had been long and trying.

Now the road led them home.

Almost there-Just the epilogue left to go!