A/N: This chapter is longer than usual and filled with a bunch of juicy things. I'd say enjoy, but I won't tease...

Kurt felt badly for Blaine, felt guilty that maybe he had blown everything out of proportion and overreacted. He hated to see the other boy with tears in his eyes, hated the way his lower lip was trembling so terribly that he had to worry it between his teeth to make it stop. All he wanted to do was take Blaine into his arms and tell him that everything was fine and not to worry. Then he would apologize profusely for anything he had done to cause him any pain and promise to never do it again. But there was a large something nagging at him and preventing him from doing anything but standing there and staring as the other boy waited for a reaction. Kurt knew exactly what the large something was, had known ever since he and Blaine had spoken about Sebastian the very first time. Fear. A terrible, gut-wrenching, numbing fear of losing Blaine to Sebastian. He knew that fear could be, and most likely was, completely irrational, but his past told him otherwise. Every person who he had let in completely, had loved with all of him, and had trusted himself with, had only gone and left him in the end.

He could remember quite fondly his mother's nightly routine of reading him a bedtime story, tucking him in tight and then beginning to sing him a song as he drifted off to sleep. As she'd leave the room and turn off the light he would hear her soft, beautiful voice like a melody floating through the room "I'll love you forever, my beautiful baby." Forever must not be a very long time, considering she was dead before he had even lived through a decade. Then, of course, there was Burt who never forgot to remind him how proud he was of him and tell him how much he loved him. When he had starting getting really close with Carole he had sat Kurt down and the two had talked about how he felt about everything. Despite Kurt's reassurances about how thrilled he was for his father's newfound love and happiness, Burt felt the need to tell him at the end of the conversation that "It's just you and me, bud. And no matter what happens, it always will be." That seemed ironic now, considering he was gone and Kurt was left with Carole and Finn. Trying to think about friends was even more amusing than thinking about his parents. None of the 'best friends' he had throughout his entire life lasted more than a few months, and once he got to high school and people were more aware of how 'different' he was, they didn't even want to be friends with him anymore. Aside from Tina and Mercedes, and occasionally Rachel, no one regarded him with anything but pure disdain.

Everyone he had loved and cherished and believed would always be there for him never stayed around. They'd either die, or run in the other direction, or ignore him completely, but they'd never keep their word and love him forever. What could make Blaine any different? He loved and cherished Blaine more than anyone else in this world, felt for him what he had felt for both of his parents, so why should he believe that Blaine wouldn't wind up leaving him the same way that they did. Maybe not in death, but eventually he would open his eyes and realize he was too good for Kurt, or he'd realize he still loved Sebastian and couldn't be with Kurt anymore because of it. Something would happen and Blaine would decide that Kurt wasn't what he wanted anymore, and despite the promises of love he had made, he'd be gone from his life forever, just like his parents. Kurt was barely surviving losing them. The idea of losing Blaine too was far more than he could handle. Sure, he loved Blaine and wanted him in his life more than anything, but he couldn't let down his guards and give Blaine his heart only for Blaine to give it back before walking away. Even thinking about it made Kurt feel like he couldn't breathe. Maybe it was just better this way. Maybe if Kurt ended things first, before things escalated even further, then Blaine could go back to Sebastian and Kurt could forget they had ever started anything. Ending things before Blaine had the chance to leave seemed like the only option. And while his heart was shattering into pieces in his chest at the thought, he knew it would be even more agonizing if this happened one day in the future because Blaine didn't want him any longer.

There was only one problem: Burt. Kurt truly did believe that Burt had sent him Blaine to take care of him in the aftermath of Kurt losing him. How could he turn around and force Blaine out of his life when Burt wanted him there? He felt torn and guilty and completely at a loss of what to do. He wanted to let Blaine go so that he didn't wind up leaving and hurting him in the future, but the idea of doing that made him feel guilty. A part of that guilt stemmed from breaking things off with Blaine when he hadn't done anything wrong but love him and, unfortunately, have an ex-boyfriend; the other part, the largest part, came from the fact that he felt like ending things with Blaine would be letting Burt down. Clearly Burt had sent Blaine to Kurt for a reason. He wouldn't want Kurt to go and spoil it because he was too afraid to be loved. But the bottom line was, Kurt was afraid to be loved. Kurt was terrified of being loved and he was so insecure about even the smallest things because of his mind-numbing fear. Ever since he had heard about Sebastian it was as though that fear was running rampant and completely taking over all of his rational judgment. It had been eating away at him little by little and he couldn't stand it, but it wouldn't go away. It was like his mind just wanted him to remember that everyone he had ever loved had walked away and that eventually Blaine would too.

After some time just staring into Blaine's heartbreaking puppy-dog eyes (which made Kurt want to do nothing more than stare into them forever) without a single word, the first bell of the day rang and Kurt stuffed his books into his bag, closed his locker, and told Blaine they could talk later. As he walked away he felt more guilty and heartbroken than he could have possibly imagined and wound up in the girls' bathroom, locked in a stall, sobbing uncontrollably for the first 15 minutes of his class. For the next 45, he tried to rationally think through this mess and figure out what he would say to Blaine when they spoke. When he realized that he hadn't even told Blaine when that would be, another overwhelming surge of guilt swept over him and he forced himself to swallow the lump constricting his airway. He imagined Blaine going through the motions of his day, knowing he hadn't done anything wrong, knowing how upset Kurt was with him, and thinking the worst at all times without even knowing when the worst would be coming. God, Kurt. You're really something spectacular, you know? A real prize. It's easy to understand how someone so wonderful loves you so much. It's also really easy to understand why you're so keen on letting that person go. Awesome job. Kurt sighed audibly, hanging his head in his hands as the bell rang signaling that class was over and the next would soon begin.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily, Kurt couldn't really decide, during this particular block he and Blaine had lunch together, which meant that he'd have the perfect opportunity to finally talk to his boyfriend. If he still considers you to be his boyfriend, Kurt thought miserably to himself. He didn't even bother to get lunch (pretending like he had an appetite was something he had no energy for today) before he went and sat at their usual table and waited for Blaine. Sure enough, a few minutes into the hour, Blaine walked to their table, set down his juice and apple (I guess he doesn't have an appetite either) and stared at Kurt without sitting. He glanced from the bench where he'd usually sit and up to Kurt before awkwardly looking around the room, and Kurt finally understood that he was wondering whether or not he was welcome to sit with him, whether Kurt would ask him to leave if he sat down. Kurt felt his heart constrict uncomfortably in his chest.

"We- we should talk," Kurt finally said, dreading the decision to open his mouth at all when he saw the way Blaine's face completely dropped. The other boy looked even smaller than he was physically.

"Y-yeah. Sure," Blaine choked out, picking up his juice and apple and putting them in his shoulder bag. He went to sit down but Kurt stood, so he looked to the other boy, confused.

"Can we go somewhere quiet? The music room, maybe?" Kurt asked timidly. What are you doing, Kurt? Don't do this.

"Yeah. Of course. Whatever you want," Blaine replied, unable to look Kurt in the eyes for more than a second without looking as though he was going to burst into tears.

Kurt took the lead and walked out of the lunchroom and down a few hallways to the music room. He peaked in to make sure the room was vacant before turning the knob and walking inside. Blaine followed quietly, like Kurt's personal shadow.

Looking around the room made something new tighten in Kurt's chest. This is where he and Blaine had first met. This was the room where he'd laughed again for the first time in months since his dad had died. This was the room where he'd truly heard music again and sung again and felt whole again after losing the biggest part of him. All of those things had happened because of Blaine. Blaine had come into his life so unexpectedly and had turned everything around. The amount of times he had sung and laughed and loved and felt alive in the past few months because of Blaine was innumerable. Apparently the weightiness of the room and the memories that it held didn't escape Blaine's notice either. When Kurt glanced behind him, expecting to see Blaine, he wasn't there. Almost on instinct he turned toward the piano to see Blaine standing there, leaning against it, only without the score to "Guys and Dolls" in front of him this time.

"Hi," Blaine breathed out. Kurt could hear the pain in his voice, could hear him swallowing around the lump in his throat at the memory of their first meeting.

"Hi," Kurt responded, a single tear slipping down his cheek as he smiled across the room at Blaine. "Sit with me?" he motioned to the chairs in the back of the room as he wiped his face.

Blaine nodded, stepped away from the piano and walked to the back of the room where Kurt was now sitting.

Both boys started talking at the same time once Blaine was sitting: "I'm sorry- " "I'm sor-" "No, you go" "You go fir-". They both laughed before Blaine said, "You first."

"First I just want to say how sorry I am, Blaine. I blew everything out of proportion and overreacted to the Sebastian thing and I shouldn't have," Kurt began. "I never want to hurt you or make you sad. But the thing is, you have to understand that every single person I have ever loved, every person I have ever believed would always be there because they said they loved me too, they all left. They all made promises of forever and made me believe them and open up to them, and then they either died, or walked away, or found something better. And I just, I-" Kurt stopped and took a deep breath, bracing himself. Don't do this. "I can't handle it anymore. I can't do it anymore. I can't love someone and open myself up to them and then watch them leave me. It h-hurts too much," Kurt hated the small sob that fell past his lips. Don't do this. "One day, you're going to wake up and realize that you don't love me anymore. You're going to see you're too good for me, or you're actually not over Sebastian, or something else, and you're going to want to walk away, just like everyone else did. And no matter how many times you tell me you love me, I'm always going to worry and wait for that day to come," Kurt said, surprised at the fact that he wasn't grossly sobbing at this point. PLEASE, Don't do this. "So, I think for right now it would be best if we made it so that day won't ever come. That you won't eventually decide you don't want me anymore. And that you won't leave me. With Sebastian in the picture I think it's gonna be confusing for you. Even though you don't think you have feelings for him, he clearly has feelings for you. I don't wanna be the person to come between that. I-I," he began stuttering again and took another deep breath, swallowing the sob in his throat. "I know you guys only broke up because you couldn't handle the distance. And I know it's been a while since then, but there's a reason why you remained such good friends, Blaine. If you didn't still love him, somehow, you wouldn't be able to. It's because you love him that you don't want to push him away. And I get that, I do, but I can't be in the middle of it. And I can't wait around for you to realize you still love him and then watch you walk away. Because if that day ever came, you'd be taking my heart with you, and I just wouldn't survive." There was silent pause then and Kurt assumed Blaine would protest, but he didn't. He was probably hoping he wasn't hearing what he thought he was. Kurt hadn't made it explicitly clear what he was saying, after all. Don't do this. "So I-I-I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think we should take a break for now. I don't want to break up forever, because I love you so much and I can't deal with the thought of losing you forever. That's why I'm doing this. So you can gain some perspective, and I can get some distance, and I mean... I don't even know. I'm just terrified that this is going to happen eventually, so I'm doing it before you do. I just, I just n-need some time." Now Kurt was openly crying. And like Blaine earlier that morning, he was worrying his trembling lip between his teeth, trying not to make it obvious.

Blaine just sat there, staring at some random spot on the floor, completely fixated. Kurt was unsure he'd even heard anything he'd just said. If he hadn't he didn't think he'd be able to say it all again.

"B-Blaine?" Kurt asked, confused and hesitant.

Blaine looked up when he heard his name, but his eyes were blank when they locked on Kurt's. "Yeah?" he asked, without putting any sound into the word at all.

"D-did you hear what I just said?" He didn't want to rehash any of the details. He didn't want to say anything else at all. He just wanted to make sure Blaine had heard him speaking to him.

"Y-yeah. I heard. You don't wanna be with me. You need time. You'll never believe me when I say that I love you and not Sebastian or anyone else, no matter how many times I might say it. You're always going to think that I'm waiting for an out and trying to leave at any given moment. You're going to be waiting for the day that I realize you're not what I want and walk away. You think there's no way that I can stay despite my promises because no one else that loved you has ever stayed before. So you're kicking me out before I can leave and take your heart with me. D-Does that about sum it up?" Blaine asked. He wasn't malicious or mean sounding, he wasn't asking sarcastically, he wasn't poking fun. He was just restating all of the major points of the conversation to make Kurt know that he had heard him and to make sure he had understood correctly. There was no negative connotation to any of his words. Everything he said was empty and hallow and his eyes traveled back to the same spot on the floor that he had been set on before. He never cried, he never raised his voice, he never moved.

Kurt was horrified at Blaine's reaction. He had at least expected Blaine to be angry and fight with him or object to his accusations about his feelings for Sebastian. He hadn't thought that Blaine would zone out and not feel anything in response to his words.

"Yeah," Kurt gulped audibly. "That's about right. B-But Blaine, I still want to be friends with you. I still want you in my life. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you."

Blaine started at his words, finally coming back to life somehow. He looked up, this time tears pooled in his eyes. "You think I can just be friends with you? I love you more than anyone I have ever met and I have never felt more complete and more myself than when I'm with you. I have never had anyone make me feel like I can be and do anything that I ever wanted until I met you. You think that I came swooping in here like some angel to save your life, but the thing you never realized, and probably never will, is that you have saved me in so many more ways than I could ever explain in words. I didn't know what it was like to feel alive and loved and whole before you told me that you loved me. I finally felt happy for the first time in my life, like I had everything I could ever want, and everything was almost perfect, if perfect existed. And now you're doing to me what you're so terrified I'm going to do to you- you're leaving me. I love you so much, Kurt, more than I could ever say no matter how many different ways and times I say it. I-I can't just be friends with you. My heart can't handle that. I need all of you. And if I can't have that, I just I-" Blaine trailed off, standing up and wiping harshly at his eyes and face.

Kurt looked up at him, wanting nothing more in that moment than to take back every word he had just said and jump into his arms and stay there forever. What did you DO? But it was too late. Before Kurt knew what the end of that sentence was going to be, before he could stop it from happening, Blaine ran from the room, the door slamming behind him as he went.

Kurt stared at the door without moving until the bell rang and woke him up enough to realize that although it felt like the world had ended, again, it hadn't. He had classes to go to and then glee after class that afternoon. He wasn't sure if Blaine would go to glee, but deep down he knew he would. Blaine wasn't a quitter. Even though they had broken up, (Did we actually break up?) he wouldn't let the rest of glee club down, especially not right before Sectionals next weekend. He did have to sing a duet with Kurt, after all. Kurt physically cringed as he remembered. There was no way he could sing that song with Blaine now. Especially that song. Ugh. The kids in glee were going to have a field day when they found out that Kurt and Blaine had fought, or broken up, or whatever it was that happened that was going to prevent them from singing the duet at Sectionals. The day seemed as though it was going to get even worse, if that was possible.

Sure enough, Blaine was at glee that afternoon, though he sat nowhere near Kurt and didn't speak or interact or do much of anything but run through the numbers in a numb and strictly professional manner. They ran through the group number first, Finn and Rachel singing lead on "Catch My Breath" as the glee club harmonized behind them. Then they did the number again adding in the choreography. It was difficult choreography and because the song was also a monster it wound up being an extremely exhausting number to tackle, but the club handled it rather well. It wasn't perfect yet, but with another week of intense practices like these they'd be sure to control the stage completely at Sectionals. They ran through Kurt's solo next, figuring there wasn't much to that since it was only Kurt on "You Found Me" vocals and no choreography. He'd be center stage with a microphone. The song would be slowed down and sung with a piano accompaniment so that it was more of an a cappella ballad than the original. Kurt found it extremely difficult to get through the song today. The lyrics used to be expressive of how he felt for Blaine, how Blaine had saved him and made him feel like he was worth something.

You found me when no one else was looking

How did you know just where I would be?

Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion

The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave

I guess that you saw what nobody could see

You found me

You found me

Blaine didn't even look at him once as he sang. He stared fixedly at a spot on the floor as he had in the music room earlier that afternoon, his eyes empty and hallow. Kurt barely made it through the song. He wasn't even sure how he did it without crying. I'd become comfortably numb... until you opened up my eyes. Fitting.

When it was time for the two boys to rehearse "Behind These Hazel Eyes" neither boy moved from their chairs. Mr. Schue seemed confused but could also tell something was obviously wrong. "Kurt? Blaine? You guys wanna get this going or what?" he asked encouragingly.

"Um, Mr. Schue, I don't think I can do this duet," Blaine said, finally standing- Kurt thought he was getting ready to leave. His heart gave another painful jolt in his chest as he watched how uncomfortable and unhappy the other boy looked. "It's just… well, some, some things have happened, and uh, I d-don't think I'm up for singing this duet anymore. Maybe you should give it to someone else," Blaine said, running his hand over his gelled-down curls and looking awkwardly around the room as the other club members began chatting quietly amongst themselves. No doubt they were all trying to figure out what had happened to make him not up to singing the duet anymore. Conspiring, more like it, Kurt thought to himself. He knew he'd have to deal with questions and a ton of nagging sooner or later, but for now he just wanted everyone to shutup and for Blaine to not be as miserable as he seemed to be.

"Actually, Mr. Schue," Kurt said from the other side of the room, raising his right hand index finger to get his attention, "I was going to speak to you privately after practice today and suggest Blaine take this song as a solo. It's great as a duet, but the song is meant to be sung as a solo and Blaine's vocals are amazing in it. I-I just think it might be a better option if no one protests?" Kurt asked, trying not to make anything obvious. He looked toward Blaine to try and gauge his reaction, but he had none for the second time that day.

"Okay then. Does anyone have anything to add about this? Any opinions or alternatives than Blaine singing it as a solo?" Mr. Schue asked the club at large. No one protested, no one voiced an alternative, no one actually cared. At this point the only thing anyone wanted to know was what was happening and why the two boys didn't want to sing together anymore. It was obviously something but both boys skirted around the issue and everything was really ambiguous. "Fine, then. Blaine will lead vocals on "Behind These Hazel Eyes" and to change it up a bit and make it different from Kurt's solo, we can add a few club members to the background on the harmonies that Kurt would have had. How about Santana and Quinn? Sound good, girls?" Mr Schue addressed the two girls directly. Both girls nodded in approval, making Mr. Schue smile in victory and declare the practice was over for the day. Tomorrow they'd run through everything once more, with the new arrangement of Blaine's solo kicking off the practice.

Everyone packed their things and left the room, leaving Kurt and Finn behind. Finn finally understood that what had happened the night before most likely had to do with Blaine, but he didn't prod Kurt for information or try to get anything out of him that he wasn't volunteering to share. Instead he simply walked over to Kurt, slung his arm around the other boy's shoulders and looked down at him before speaking softly and more kindly than Kurt had ever heard before. "Let's go home, little brother."