He'd set my body on fire.
There was no other explanation. He'd struck matches—the ones he was supposed to save for the escape—and thrown them atop me. Yeah, that was it. It was all the fire's doing. The flames licked my skin, not him. The heat was the reason why sweat rolled off of me in bucketfuls. The smoke was the reason why my breaths came in heavy pants.
"You don't have to hold back," a deep voice murmured into my ear. The flame's voice. It had to be. "It's nothing to be embarrassed of."
Just barely I managed to open my eyes—that smoke had to be as thick as stone. "W-What...what're you…?"
Fingers trailed down my chest, a trail of reverence left in their wake. One finger brushed against an area near my nipple. I arched my back off the bed, but I cut off my gasp before it could fully escape. What the hell was that…?
"Ah, what's this?" His teasing tone made me want to hit him. "This is new."
His fingers returned to that spot on my skin, but instead of just grazing the surface, they pinched. The sensation intensified tenfold, and it took all of my willpower to keep from moaning. It didn't feel good; it couldn't feel good! It was...it was just...different...and everything different that the body experienced always felt exciting. Even if it was harmful—dangerous, even—to experience it at all. Saying that I'd learned that the hard way was a severe understatement.
"What is it?" The teasing was gone, replaced instead by something between curiosity and concern. "Is something wrong?"
By the grace of the gods I'd managed to compose myself. "O-Of course...I-I don't...want you...to do this…!"
He sighed in my ear. "But why? You're enjoying this so much…" His fingers left the spot, but he was nowhere near finished. A hot, wet appendage lapped at the small section of skin. His breath ghosted its way across my skin, and tingles bubbled forth from the deepest recesses of my body.
"I am not...enjoying…" Teeth sunk into my flesh, and a moan vibrated on my skin. A sound reminiscent of a whimper escaped my lips before I could bite my tongue.
"But you are," he insisted. "Look here."
I didn't want to, but it seemed he wasn't having that. He positioned himself halfway behind me and tilted my head downward, forcing me to look at my crotch. One glance and I pinched my eyes shut. How could he enjoy this so much? It looked disgusting, all red and covered in fluids I didn't know the names of. But for some reason he took delight in all of this, to the point where he wasn't even talking—just moaning. In my ear.
"You're dripping," he told me, "so much here." I felt his fingers on my shaft, gently stroking his way up and down. The tingles from earlier intensified, although now they were focused downward in one place.
This bastard...why was he so relentless? I'd told him that I didn't enjoy this; why wasn't he listening?! He wasn't deaf!
"I've barely touched you at all, but you're already like this…" His tongue swirled its merry way around my ear canal. I tensed with a brief breath, my cheeks heating with each rotation it made. "It's like you've been longing for me. Isn't it?"
"Shut...up..." I spat. "And stop...this…"
"Stop?" He asked it like I was a child. If I could've hit him, I would've. "But then you'd be unsatisfied. I'd be a bad lover if I let that happen."
"We're not...lovers!" I denied.
He sighed. "I know you don't think that way. But it feels that way, doesn't it?"
"The hell do you mean…?"
"Well, we're always around one another, aren't we? And we sleep in the same bed. And then, obviously, this…" He squeezed my dick once before letting me go entirely. Even without the contact, my body tensed. Cannons burst from every part of me, but none as much as the one he'd stimulated. As liquid spurted from me, a sickeningly warm sensation wracked my bones, one I'd never experienced before. I remembered thinking at one point that he was magical; now I as fully convinced that he had supernatural abilities. Or, at least, his fingers did. He brought out feelings I hadn't known existed, ones that made my heart thud hard in my chest and made my skin feel like fire.
And I despised him because of it.
I'll never feel affection for anyone again. I remembered the day I'd made that vow clearly. It was right after he had betrayed me. That vow had held strong for seven years. No one had ever managed to get close to me. But now that vow lay in the ground, its words broken like bones as it withered and died. And here I lay, having just came, my breaths coming in pants as another man held me from behind. I wanted to kill myself.
"You're wonderful," he murmured into my ear. "Absolutely wonderful."
"Shut up," I hissed. "Can't you do it without talking…?"
"I could," he allowed. "But that'd be so...boring..." His tongue trailed up my neck. I threw my head back as he nibbled on a spot beneath my ear that he just loved to abuse. "I love hearing your voice, Senpai. It's beautiful."
His arms looped under mine, and simultaneously he assaulted both nipples and my neck's sensitive spot. Powerless to resist, I whimpered and whined like a helpless animal. This fucker...why was he so damn elated? Why did he take pleasure from my suffering? Why was he so sadistic? Why did...why did he make me feel so helpless…?
"See? You do like it. You just don't want to admit it."
I tried to gather the words required to hiss out a reply, but none came to me. Only those helpless, needy, weak sounds.
"But why?" he continued. He released the pinch he had on my nipples, and instantly coldness set in where his fingers once were. Slowly words trickled into my mouth, but I knew he wasn't finished with his inquiries. "Why is it so hard for you to tell me what you want?"
"I have told you what I want." The response dripped from my lips like acid.
"Really? When?"
"A few minutes ago."
"No, you didn't," he denied.
"Yes, I did."
"Really? What is it that you said you wanted, then?"
"I...it...not this…!"
He sighed but didn't fall silent. "But you're reacting like this. And you've been reacting like this for months. You always come when I touch you, even if you scream for me to stop while it happens. Why?"
"That's...of course that'll happen if you touch it…"
"Oh, I see." He snickered quietly. "So you get like this because you're being stimulated."
I nodded. He was finally understanding! Praise everything divine in and above this world!
"Well, if that's the case, would you get like this with anyone who touched you? Even if you didn't know who they were?"
"Of course not! It's just because it's you!" I snapped. Immediately after my tongue turned to ice. That hadn't...I hadn't...there was no way…
Even Morinaga went silent at that, though those moments were short-lived. "You...because it's me?"
His words brimmed with hope, and that was enough to melt my tongue. "I didn't...I didn't mean it like that. It's because...I'm obligated to."
"Obligated? Who's obligating you to do this?"
"You are!"
"Oh? And what am I holding against you?"
"The slavery." Gods, he could build a city out of his stupidity alone!
"Really?" Rather than the light, teasing tone he'd possessed before, a flat edge lined his voice. "Do you honestly think that?"
I hesitated for a few moments before replying, "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean." In an instant our positions shifted, with me laying facedown and Morinaga positioned above me. He held my wrists above my head, and despite my protests, he didn't let go. He descended slowly, his broad, hard body molding against my own. All protests ceased when I felt something warm and excruciatingly hard graze my ass. While I was completely bare, he still had underwear on. He may as well have been naked, though; that's how it felt.
"Do you honestly believe that the slavery's the reason why you let me do this? Because I honestly believe that both of us know that's complete bullshit." His words stabbed my heart; was it that obvious…? "If that was the reason, you'd be fighting harder than you do now. But instead you're submitting. Your body is, anyway."
"That's—"
"It's not because of stimulation," he growled. "You'd struggle and fight and stab and kill in order to get out of this. You and I both know that. But instead you're letting me do these things to you, and while you're protesting, you're not struggling. Even though you claim to despise 'my kind' and everything associated with us, you let me inside of you. You let me come inside of you."
I fisted my hands in the sheets. Resistance left my body like cowardly soldiers retreating from battle, and with each passing second I felt myself weaken. Everything he'd said was true. I would've killed anyone who tried to do this to me. But he...he was...different. Special. Something about him set him apart from everyone else I'd met. He liked clinging to me, like a puppy. Usually I despised such clinginess, always associating it with weakness. And while I did dislike that about him, I didn't hate him.
But I did hate his kind. I hated abominations like him. I hated people who thought they could do whatever they wanted and it wouldn't affect anyone else. He never took any of my feelings into account whenever he did shit like this. It was always 'I want you' or 'I want to do it' or 'I love you.' It was never 'Do you want to do it?' And even if it was, he never listened. If I said no, he did it anyway. If I protested, he did it anyway. It wasn't worth trying to compromise anymore. He always got what he wanted, and I was left with nothing. I resented him and everything that he stood for.
Then why was I so hard?!
"What do you want from me?" I whispered.
"Hmm? What do you mean?"
"You heard me. What do you want from me? Pleasure? Affection? Love?"
His voice softened considerably, almost sounding vulnerable. "Well, to be honest...acceptance. I can't change the fact that you're not naturally attracted to men, nor can I make you love me. But...you can at least let me in."
"Aren't you just going to force your way in anyway?"
"No, not that way. Though that would be appreciated… Anyway, I want you to let me into your heart. You've been shutting me out every time I try to get close to you. All I want to do is get to know you better. I don't just want your body. I want your heart, too." He kissed my ear and murmured softly, "I love you."
"Shut up!" I shouted. "You're lying! There's no way—"
"I'm not Ikasma," he interrupted. "I'm not going to betray you the way he did. Do you really think that I would've saved you from execution if I didn't care about you?"
"I...I don't…"
"Let me ask this," he suggested. "All this time we've been discussing what I want. But you already know what I want. What about you? What do you want?"
I clenched my teeth, pinched my eyes shut, and steeled my nerves. I willed myself to speak. I wanted to tell him things. Honestly, I did. But I couldn't. I didn't know what to say. I'd been keeping everything inside for so long...there was no way I could tell him what I wanted. Not when this environment was foreign territory.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
It was a simple question, but for reasons that I couldn't decipher, it made my heart skip a few beats. He was a despicable human for doing all of this. For being so selfish and inconsiderate and bastardly...but still…