Disclaimer: I do not own anything that doesn't have my name written next to it in pretty pink pen. I don't even own my horse Tig…that's how broke I am. I only claim ownership on Asher Hayden, Sarah Stevenson and anyone else that you do not recognise.
Summary:She went to the shut the door but paused, smiling slightly to herself despite the glare from the girl on her knees in front of the biker. "You do realise this is a twelve year olds birthday party?" It started at a twelve year olds birthday party in a Tacoma backyard ten years ago. Happy/OC
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Stylized Violence – choreographed violence used in film and television to portray the illusion of real violence.
Chapter Twelve – Happy
Holding on tightly, just can't let go
Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear
But all these days, the feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
But I can't stand by your side
And watch this life pass me by
-Leona Lewis
Tacoma WA
10th June 1998
Asher stared at the front door of the clubhouse, glaring at the reaper glaring back at her. His dark hollow eyes seemed to bore straight through her and it kind of scared her. She'd never paid much attention to the actual reaper. It was strange considering most people associated with the club would have been able to tell you every single detail about the Reaper pasted on the door. But she'd never been one to give a shit about the Reaper.
Or the club.
The club was a thing- it wasn't real, it could be changed, it could be destroyed or it could be made bigger. It wasn't a human and it didn't have feelings and it certainly didn't fix everything. Because that was the point wasn't it? You could rely on the reaper for anything.
But what could she rely on the Reaper for?
If it wasn't for the Reaper, Happy would have been given a pat on the back for killing a paedophile and sent on his way. If it wasn't for the Reaper she wouldn't have had Kyle Hobart grabbing at her. It didn't mean that she would have had a better life without the Reaper, it just meant that she could blame the people, not the thing. The club meant that the moment you blamed a member, you blamed the entire club.
Because the club always came first.
No matter what.
Taking a deep breath, Asher stepped forward to take the Reaper on when the door flew open and a girl stalked out. Asher recognised her immediately as the sweetbutt that had been on her knees in front of Happy all those months ago. Her limp fake blonde hair was hanging around her face as the girl looked up and saw Asher standing there. A sneer crossed her face, but Asher saw her wince when the movement tugged on the bruising around her nose and eyes.
"What do you want?" The girl hissed and Asher watched her for a moment before replying.
"What happened to your face?"
"None of your fucking business." The girl stepped around Asher and stopped briefly. "Whore." And then she stalked off towards the carpark. Asher looked over her shoulder, watching the girl retreat and shrugged. She'd been called worse. Hell, a lot worse.
But it was enough to make her turn around and walk away from the clubhouse. She felt like a traitor going in there where the club was everything. Not when she was meant to be testifying to send one of them to jail in two days. Not when she was betraying Happy.
She was out of the lot in a few minutes and walking down the dark street. She was meant to be graduating tomorrow before a long summer in Tacoma, then heading to Seattle to college and to the beginning of the rest of her life.
But as she'd come to realise over the last eighteen years.
Nothing ever went as planned.
11th June 1998
Asher looked around the crowded quad, watching as people hugged each other. Promises of calls and letters being made and Asher couldn't help but wonder if they'd keep their promises. These people she'd spent the last twelve years with in Tacoma were all going to be split up, many of them going to College, some of them going to work for their families. It was so unbelievable that this was the end of everything. She had no reason besides her Dad to stay in Tacoma. But that could be dealt with. In three months she was meant to be heading to college in Seattle.
"Ash!" Someone shrieked and she spun around, the blue robe swirling around her bare legs as she came face to face with most of the cheerleaders she'd known.
"Hey." She said, forcing the smile on her face.
"Can you believe we're finally finished?" Courtney gushed and pulled Asher into a tight hug.
"No, not really." She replied as the cheerleader pushed her back with a huge grin on her face.
"Promise we'll catch up on breaks? Summer?" Courtney insisted and Asher nodded.
"Sure." Courtneys eyes went over Ashers shoulder and her grin got wider.
"I think someone wants to see you." Courtney said, pointing behind Asher and turned around to see Riley striding towards her. "I'll see you at the party tonight right?"
"Of Course." Asher replied before the cheerleaders scurried off and Asher was left with Riley.
"Can you believe we're finished?" Riley said, running a hand through his messy hair and Asher smiled.
"Not even." Asher replied, "When do you go to the Academy."
"In a week. Going to go and see my grandparents then head off." Riley replied as he played with the cap in his hand. Before he could say anything else, Asher stepped forward to wrap her arms around his neck and hug him.
"Good luck." She said into the fabric of his gown and felt his hands on her back.
"You too Ash." He sighed and Asher pulled away. "I'll miss you."
"Yeah you too."
"Are you two back together yet?" Asher looked down to see Thomas looking up at them.
"Fuck off shithead." Riley muttered and Asher grinned.
"Hey Kid."
"There you are!" Liz came over, dragging Sarah with her towards the two of them. "Ash, you look gorgeous." Liz said pulling her into a hug and Asher hugged her back.
"Hey Sarah." Asher said looking down at the little girl who hadn't changed much in the last few weeks. Sarah gave her a forced smile and Asher felt awful.
"Look at my babies, all grown up and graduating." Liz sighed as she placed a hand on Ashers cheek and looked over at her son. "Where's your father sweetheart?"
"Ah, he had to work." Asher replied, flashing back to the image of her father lying on the couch asleep, beer in hand.
"Sweetheart." Liz said sadly before a large arm wrapped around the older womans waist and Blue appeared.
"Asher." He said nodding to her and Asher smiled back, not missing the knowing look he gave her.
"Hi Blue." She replied sweetly and looked over at Riley. "Riley just told me the news about the army."
"Yeah, can you believe it – my kid's joining up, couldn't be prouder." Blue said, smacking his son on the shoulder.
"Could everyone make their way into the gym for the ceremony please!" Someone shouted over the crowd and Asher took a deep breath before looking back at the Stevensons.
"Well gotta do my civic duty as Prez." She shrugged and Blue leant over and kissed her cheek as did Liz.
"Good luck out there Baby girl." Blue said and Asher nodded before squeezing RIleys arm. It was time to go.
After organising a few things, Asher made her way over to sit between Lisa Hall and Danielle Jacobs in the third row of the gym, crossing her legs, the tiny gold chains on her black flat sandals jingling with the movement. The principal strode across the stage and cleared her throat as she waited for the people to stop pouring into the huge gymnasium. Once everyone was seated she started to talk, congratulating their class.
One by one they were called up and every time someones name was called out, their parents would compete to the clap the loudest. Asher couldn't help but feel a little sad that she wouldn't have anyone to clap for her, but she was used to it by now she decided. When her name was called she stood up and started up the stairs, smiling up at the principal she heard someone yell and a huge applause start up, a few whoops being heard over the top. Turning her head she saw the Stevensons standing up, next to them her grandmother and her Uncle Tony, clapping and calling out. She couldn't help but beam at her family before finally striding across to take her certificate from her principal, shaking her hand.
"Congratulations Asher." She said before Asher nodded and stepped off stage to join her classmates.
12th June 1998
Three months ago Asher had been sitting on the wall in front of her when Happy had pulled up to pick her up. Three months ago she had started the friendship that had saved hers and Sarahs life. With the man that had saved her life. Turning her head she could picture him sitting on the bike on the curb, watching her through his night glasses.
It had turned midnight half an hour ago and she'd had her fill of the night. No longer was it the day that she graduated and started the rest of her life. Now it was the day that she sent Happy to jail. There was somewhere she needed to be, she realised turning her back on the house party and starting to jog down the street, waving down the first taxi she could see.
Happy had been wrong- she did give a shit about something.
"There's someone here for you." Kozik said as the brunette behind the bar poured him a drink.
"What?"
"I said, you got a guest. Down the hall." Kozik gestured down the hall which that lead to the stairs up to the dorms. The only rooms down there were the old gym and a room with a piano that Uncle Tom had had since before the war. Swallowing the drink in front of him, Happy glanced back at Kozik before placing the empty glass down and heading down the hall.
Happy found her in the back room sitting in front of the old piano that hadn't been touched in all the years that he'd been patched. He watched from the doorway as she pressed keys slowly, letting the notes drift up into the air and hang there before she hit another one.
"Uncle Tom sat in this same chair when I was eight and taught me to play Fleur de Lisle ." She said not looking up from the keys. "He was killed two weeks later." Happy didn't move from his spot as he watched her continue to press keys. "John Teller came to the funeral and stood right where you're standing right now and watched my failed attempt at playing before coming and sitting beside me and showing me where I was wrong." She stopped talking and he watched as her fingers skimmed the keys before she began playing, the music drifting through the room, occasionally an out of tune key marring the perfection of the song until she stopped, the silence penetrating the air again. She glanced over her shoulder at Happy and rose and eyebrow. "Do you know who I'm talking about?" He nodded. Uncle Tom and John Teller had been part of the First Nine – the founders of the club. She turned back to the piano, but didn't press any keys, instead staring at them for a few moments before speaking again. "This is what I give a shit about- these peoples memories – what they meant to me. They wanted me to go to college. I want to go to college, I want out of this place, out of this world and I can't do that with a criminal record. I'm not testifying because I hate you."
"I know." He said when she paused. "What're you doin' here Asher?" He asked, staring at her back. .
"Remembering." Her fingers started to press the keys again, the music filling the room and travelling down the hall to the bar no doubt. "All my best memories are in this room. I used to play with Sarah in here when she was just a baby because we were out of the way. " Sighing she turned around to face him. "I taught her to play Amazing Grace." Happy could already see where this was going before she said the words. "I was the reason she was getting piano lessons. The reason she got taken."
"Don't fuckin' start Asher." He growled and she bit her lip.
"Why?" Her voice was low as she looked up at him, wanting an answer.
"You know why."
"Because it's not my fault. Not my fault she wanted to learn the piano, or my fault that you came looking for me, or my fault that you'll go to jail tomorrow." Standing up Asher stepped over in front of him and looked up at him. "None of it's ever my fault." She hissed and went to step past him, but he grabbed her arm, stopping her, not for the first time.
"It's your fault that you left the house when I told you not too and found Sarah at the bar and it's your fault that you let that fucking kid stalk you then come and find me when you got jumped. Blaming yourself don't fix shit Asher." His grip loosened and Asher nodded slightly before sighing.
"So what've you got planned for your last night of freedom?"
"You don't wanna know baby girl." He replied low and husky and Asher smirked.
"Wanna do me a favour first?"
"You want me to what?" Happy looked at her incredulously and Asher took a mental picture. Because it would be one of the only times she'd ever see Happy shocked and remembering Liz's words, she knew it was probably be the last time she got to see him at all.
"Tattoo me. Am I speaking Yiddish?"
"I ain't tattooing shit." Happy pointed a finger at her as she shrugged, trying to act innocent.
"Come on." The look on his face was priceless. Asher bit her lip and looked up at him, with pleading eyes. "Please."
"Nah, fuck that." He went to turn away, but Asher grabbed his arm, sliding her fingers along the taught muscles of his forearm before lacing her fingers through his and tugging. For a man of his size and stature, he should have been able to pull away easily but he stopped, looking down at her, his eyes dark.
"This means something to me, Hap."
Half an hour later she was stretched over the top of the old piano her legs propped up at the knees as she watched Happy unpack the bag beside the piano. Kozik was there too, sitting on the old piano stool with a drink in his hand. Asher could see the blonde watching her every move out of the corner of her eye but chose to ignore it. It was a good thing Kozik was there- otherwise Asher could see herself saying something she might regret.
"Clothes off." Happy ordered as he held up the tracing paper with the design she'd helped him draw up. Asher chanced a glance at Kozik before taking a deep breath and sitting up. Her fingers went to the edge of her tank and she pulled it over her head.
"Nice." She shot a glare at Kozik who was smirking at her choice of lace black bra before she tossed her shirt in his direction and went to unbutton her jeans, pushing the waistband down to the top of her panties before a large hand wrapped around her wrist. Looking up at Happy glaring at her Asher rose her eyebrow in question and Happy gave his head a slight shake warning her to stop, like he had the night she patched him up.
Realising that maybe it wasn't the best idea to be testing the boundaries with Happy when Kozik was in the room Asher nodded and let go of the jeans, choosing to lie back down and wait for Happy to get to work. First he traced the design onto her skin before he started up the needle and snapped the gloves onto his hands. Asher could feel her whole body shaking with nerves but she was more excited than nervous.
"You sure?" He asked, not looking up at her and Asher had a sneaking suspicion it was because he had to look over her chest to her face. Not that Kozik would have noticed because he was blatantly staring at her breasts anyway.
"Yeah." Asher said quietly and took a deep breath as Happy held the needle to her skin. The first few minutes were filled with silence as Happy worked, needle in one hand and a wipe in the other, wiping away the excess ink. It didn't hurt, it was just like a hard scratching on her skin.
"Why daisies?" Kozik finally broke the silence and Asher didn't have to turn her head to see the blonde still sitting on the piano chair- she'd nearly forgotten he was there though as she got lost in watching the intense concentration on Happys face.
"They were my mothers favourite." Asher replied quietly, wishing she had a drink to stop the shaking.
"The mother that named you Asher?" Kozik replied, and Asher nodded.
"Believe it or not."
"Why?" Asher turned her head and looked over at him.
"Why what?"
"Why did your mother call you Asher?" Asher furrowed her brow as she looked at the huge man. "It's a guys name." He added and Asher understood.
"It's a family name. My grandfather was named Asher, so is my Uncle."
"Why you?" She felt like Kozik was being incredibly nosy but gave in anyway, figuring it gave her something else to concentrate on.
"They thought I was going to be a boy –its tradition and they'd already gotten everything named." Kozik smirked shaking his head.
"And they still named you?"
"My mother chose it because of what it means, not because of what it represents in our family." She recalled the story that her grandmother had told her as a child. The meaning of her name and how Molly had thought it was so appropriate.
"What's it mean?" Asher wanted to tell him he was being fucking nosy and she didn't appreciate it. But she also didn't appreciate having whore tattooed on her by an un-Happy biker either.
"It's an oxymoron."
"Oh." Was all Kozik said, and Asher rolled her eyes and turned her head up to stare back at the ceiling. Clearly he had no idea what an oxymoron was, but she was okay with that. It stopped the questions.
Happy remained quiet as he worked on Ashers skin and Kozik continued to go on about how his mother had named him after his father as well. Asher hadn't admitted what her name meant, and he wasn't usually interested in that shit, but the way she'd avoided it had him wondering.
But their talking had been drowned out as he sunk the needle into her perfect ivory skin. The black blended with the yellow and green and against the porcelain background it almost looked real. By the time it healed he would be in jail looking down a six to eight year sentence while she went out, went to college, met some guy and got married and had a life. But that was the point wasn't it? That's why after seeing Frank Hayden, he'd told Blue that Asher needed to testify. Let her tell the truth, let him go to jail. At least she would be out of this life away from him, away from Kozik and Riley and especially Spanner. Because he knew if she stayed she'd be forced into the world of Old Ladys and that fire that he had provoked in her so many times just to see her feel something, would go out and she would be just another woman in the club.
It would crush everything about her that was decent.
But now, as he stood over her, needle in hand, the machine whirring and her almost husky voice talking to Kozik, he didn't want to let her go. If she met someone else would they be able to understand what went on in that crazy head of hers? Would they be able to understand why she was so closed off or be willing to take the good with the bad? He felt a possessive wave coming over him and decided that he wouldn't let that happen. She had to come back.
"What's your name mean Hap?" His head snapped up as he began to freehand the design on her skin. Kozik was looking at him but before he could answer, Asher saved him and spoke instead.
"How thick are you?"
"Huh?" Koziks brow furrowed before Happy went back to work, trying to get the detail down before he forgot what he was doing this for.
"His name is Happy." Ashers tone was almost bored.
"He's not really the happy type." Kozik replied, and Happy ignored him. He knew his brother was daring him to give up what he was doing and put him through the wall, because the blonde could see everything he was doing on Ashers skin.
"It's not about him." Asher replied seriously. "It's about how he made his mother feel. It's a name that reflects everything he means to her." Happy couldn't help but let his lip twitch. The little blonde bitch was spot on. When he was really little, not that he'd admit it, but he'd been teased for having such a strange name. But his mother had sat him down one day after he'd had sand kicked in his face and put a hand on his cheek as he pouted.
"You mean everything to me, baby, I named you so others could know how you make me feel. Because you make me so happy, my darling. You are my world."
His mother, the only woman in the world that he let close enough had given him the courage to stand up for himself, and not only shove the bullys face in the sand the next day but to never let anyone stand over him again.
"How many people can be so brutally honest?" Ashers voice said before he forced himself to focus and block the two of them and the memories out.
A few hours later he was finished and he stood back to admire his work. Kozik was sleeping on the lid of the piano, and Asher was quietly lying there, having been silent for a good part of the last three hours.
"Done?" She asked quietly and he nodded. "Can I see?" She asked craning her head to see the ink but Happy reached over and pushed her head back down.
"No." He wanted her to be alone when she saw it. Where she could pore over it for as long as she needed and he didn't have to see the look on her face. "Later." Without a fight she lay back down and waited for him to smear cream on it and cover it with a bandage. Most women he'd done had begged to look at it, ignoring his orders, but Asher just lay back down and waited.
When he was done he stepped back and she sat up slowly, a small smile on her face as she eased her shirt over her head as he took off his gloves.
"Thank-you." She said quietly and he nodded. "I mean it Happy." He glanced up and saw her watching him with those dark lined blue eyes, her face serious. She didn't need to say anything else, he knew what she was trying to say.
"Aight, I'll take ya home. You ready?" She nodded without a word slid down from the piano and followed him out to the lot where they climbed on his bike, her taking his helmet and he rode to her house. The lights were off and the red truck was missing, so was the red Camaro. Asher slid off the bike and handed him the helmet he'd given her.
"Can I ask you a question?" She asked as he took the helmet. He didn't say anything, just waited for her to speak. "Are you scared? About going to jail I mean?" He shook his head, putting a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it as he sat astride his bike.
"Do I look like the type to get scared, baby girl?"
"Hmm." He flinched in the darkness and inhaled. Yeah he'd been scared and she'd seen it. He'd put three bullets in a mans head because he was scared of what would happen to Sarah and Asher if he didn't. Pulling the cigarette out of his mouth he exhaled and looked over at her standing in front of him. It was an image that he'd take to prison with him. Looking back at her standing beside him he formed the question in his mind.
"What's the contradiction?" He didn't know why he was asking but something told him he wanted to know. "You said your name was an oxymoron." She smiled slightly and bit her lip. He fucking loved it when she did that.
"Asher means bringer of happiness."
He didn't say anything, he couldn't. Something had stunned him into silence.
"See you later Happy." She said quietly and turned on her heel towards the door.
"See ya in a few hours." He said after her, quietly, but she still heard and looked over her shoulder at him.
"Yeah, in the morning." Without allowing himself to get caught up and say anything else he started the bike again and rode off into the night.
Asher watched him go, before heading up the footpath. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the glow of a cigarette and turned her head to see Blue Stevenson leaning against the wall of his house, near the fence, watching her.
"You get it done?" He asked and Asher nodded as the sound of Happys bike drifted away.
"Yeah."
"Good." Blue dropped his cigarette butt on the ground and stubbed it out with his boot. "You did the right thing, baby girl." And then he turned his back on her and started towards the front door of their house, the reaper on the back of his cut glowing in the dark, its hollow eyes watching her as it left.
"Goodbye."
A/N: Dah dah dum...