Disclaimer: I do not own Kyo kara Maoh. This is a work of fiction. Any places referenced are used fictiously.
Warning: Shameless fan service and random silliness.
"Oh Majesty," Gunter wailed. "Why have you left me behind yet again? Do you hate me?" Gunter turned to face Anissina. "Anissina, do you think his Majesty hates me? He must, or why would he treat me this way? Oh Majesty, whatever have I done to merit such disapproval?" Gunter wailed.
"Gunter, think of how happy you would make his Majesty if we managed to solve the mosquito problem while he is gone." Anissina said.
Gunter paused in his dramatic display of emotion to think about Anissina's words. "I would do anything to win back the affection of his Majesty." He whispered at last.
"Perfect." Anissina said with a dangerous smile. "Now, I need you to try powering my magic powered wind summoner."
"But Anissina," Gunter protested, "This invention didn't work when you tried to use it to blow humans away."
"But this time I'm pointing it the other way." Anissina explained. "That way all the mosquitoes will be drawn here, and we can trap them."
Greta was impressed. Anissina always came up with the coolest ideas!
The giant golden invention spun. It managed to attract some papers, which it promptly shredded, but no mosquitoes. Gunter wasn't strong enough to make Anissina's invention work this time either.
"Oh well, I'll just have to think of something else!" Anissina said happily.
Gunter collapsed to the floor.
"Men are such exaggerators." Anissina complained.
"Anissina, is Gunter okay?" Greta asked.
"He's just a little tired." Anissina explained. "Greta, do you want to help me check on the baby mosquitoes?" The inventor asked.
"Okay!"
Greta was sometimes lonely when Yuuri and Wolfram went on a fun adventure and left her at the castle. But at least Anissina was still around!
Chapter 13: Day 3 on Earth
The four of them sat on the couch watching a baseball game. Yuuri and Conrart were fully absorbed. Wolfram sat possessively next to Yuuri, but looked bored. Murata sent another text to José. He looked up to see Wolfram glaring at him. Wolfram had not been pleased with Ken's brief moments of enthusiastic happiness after the mosquito problem breakthrough.
Shori was sitting in an armchair, reading a book, and occasionally surreptitiously glancing up to glare at Wolfram and Conrart.
Glare, glare, glare.
Murata tried to plan his strategy. He would definitely need Shori's help. That would mean that Yuuri would have to come too. He needed to figure out a way to separate Yuuri from Wolfram and Conrart, since they definitely did not need any distractions if they were to be successful. Murata paused to reconsider his analysis. Conrart could possibly be helpful. The soldier was really good at doing what he was told, no questions asked. Wolfram, however was an expert at drawing attention to himself while on Earth. But how to make Wolfram stay behind?
-ooo-ooo-
Wolfram sat on the couch and stifled a yawn. He still didn't understand what was so exciting about baseball.
The camera zoomed in as one of the players took a moment to scratch his crotch and spit into the dirt at the same time. Wolfram's eyes bugged. He was appalled. What a disgustingly perverted pastime. His eyes narrowed as he noticed that Yuuri was watching the game with rapt attention. Wolfram grabbed one of the pillows off the couch and prepared to whack Yuuri over the back of the head with it. He was stopped by a hand on his wrist, and looked up to see Conrart giving him a pleasedon'tpummelyourkingwhileheiswatchingbaseball look.
Murata stood up and gave Wolfram a smile that was much too sweet and innocent for Wolfram's liking. The Great Sage then proceeded to go into the kitchen and talk with Yuuri's mother. There was some giggling and a few glances in Wolfram's direction. Wolfram felt his face heat up. The Great Sage was up to something. He shook his brother's arm to try and get his attention. No response. He dug an elbow into Conrart's ribs. That finally managed to get his brother's attention off of the game.
"Conrart, The Great Sage is planning something…" Wolfram whispered.
"Of course, Wolfram. I am sure his Eminence is making the final preparations for obtaining mosquito control devices." Conrart said.
"That's not what I meant." Wolfram whispered angrily. "He's plotting something."
Conrart gave Wolfram a littlebrothersarealwaysadorablycute smile, and then returned his attention to the baseball game.
-ooo-ooo-
Wolfram looked up to see the Great Sage standing in front of him, blocking his view of the TV. "Wolfram, you've been remiss in your duties as the royal fiancée."
"What…" Wolfram began angrily.
"Murata," Yuuri said "What are you doing? It's the bottom of the ninth inning!"
"Wimp! What perversions are you talking about now?" Wolfram demanded.
"There's an Earth tradition for fiancées," Murata explained, ignoring the interruptions. "It's called spending quality time with your future mother-in-law." Murata paused to give Wolfram a meaningful look "You wouldn't want to neglect your duties, now would you?"
"Of course not." Wolfram said uncertainly.
"Excellent. We'll leave you to your duties then." Murata said while pulling Yuuri and Conrart away from the television.
"Murata, I want to see the last pitch." Yuuri complained.
"Maybe you can listen to it to see whether or not the pitch is off." Conrart suggested.
Yuuri face-palmed.
Wolfram wondered what had not been funny. He stood up to follow after Yuuri, Murata and Conrart. His path was suddenly blocked by an over-excited Miko.
"Wolf-chan, we are going to have so much fun together!" Miko squealed.
Wolfram sighed, and resigned himself to his fate. He was willing to do anything for Yuuri.
"Did anyone ever tell you what beautiful eyes you have?" Miko asked in a voice that made Wolfram's skin crawl.
-ooo-ooo-
"Hey, Murata, where are we going?" Yuuri asked as they all piled into Shori's company car.
Shori looked over at Murata, who was sitting in the passenger seat. "You had better start explaining if you expect me to drive you anywhere." He said with a glare.
Murata pushed his glasses back on his nose, "I've been talking with José."
"Is he going to meet us?" Yuuri asked.
"No, he's in Cuiabá, Brasil, visiting some relatives right now." Murata explained.
"José has relatives?" Yuuri asked incrediously.
"Of course he does, Shibuya." Murata said.
"If he's Brasilian, then how does he have a Spanish name?" Shori asked suspiciously.
"I think his father is from Columbia." said Murata.
"But wait! José can't be visiting relatives!" Yuuri shouted. "I thought he was going to help us find a mosquito…control thing."
"He is." Murata said.
"How can he do that if he isn't here?" Yuuri demanded.
"Shibuya, you really don't need to know the details yet." Murata said.
Shori suddenly slammed his foot on the brake and they all jerked forward. "I don't like the sound of this." He said darkly.
"Bob approves." Murata said. "All you have to do is drive us to the University of Tokyo. I'll handle the rest."
And that was all they needed to know.
-ooo-ooo-
They approached the University in silence.
"Uh, so what do we do now, Murata?" Yuuri asked as the large buildings loomed ahead.
"We are going get the mosquito irradiator while Shori waits in the car." Murata said with an innocent smile.
"Ok, wait, WHAT!" Yuuri flailed his arms as he realized something. "Murata isn't that stealing?"
"Of course not, Shibuya. We're just borrowing it since time is important."
"Why can't Bob or José just buy one?" Yuuri asked.
Murata sighed, "Shibuya, do you have any idea how long that would take? It is a lot quicker to just borrow one now, and give it back or replace it later."
-ooo-ooo-
Shori continued to drive towards the campus as Murata gave instructions.
"We need to find the Bioscience Research Building." Murata said while pulling out a map.
"Hey, Murata, look over there!" Yuuri said while pointing over to the left. "They have a huge baseball field!"
"We're going in the other direction, Shibuya."
Yuuri looked slightly disappointed.
Shori continued driving.
"Turn here, and then drop us off at the Tatsouka Gate." Murata instructed.
Shori took a moment to glower at Murata as they exited the car. "I'll be waiting out here. You better not let anything happen to Yu-chan."
"What now?" Yuuri asked as he entered the campus with Conrart and Murata.
"We need to get an ID card." Murata said while giving Conrart a meaningful glance.
"I didn't bring my sword." Conrart pointed out.
"You won't need it." Murata said.
Conrart looked dubious, but then brightened up. "Does that mean I get to use a gun?" he asked hopefully.
"No!" Murata and Yuuri both shouted.
"I have a slightly different strategy in mind, Sir Weller." Murata said while reaching up to remove Anissina's Let-me-hear-your-heart's-cry-kun from Conrart's ear.
"But Murata, Conrad's Japanese is really horrible without Anissina's invention." Yuuri protested.
"Exactly, Shibuya. I'm sure most of the international graduate students don't speak Japanese very well when they first arrive." Murata said as they approached one of the administration buildings.
-ooo-ooo-
"Can you help me? I am a new student here and I have lost my identification."
The girl behind the desk giggled slightly as Conrart mispronounced a few of the words.
He gave her a dazzling smile.
She smiled back, and started typing something into a computer.
Murata and Yuuri held their breath as they watched surreptitiously from a window.
"Oh, here, I found your picture in the records. We have a spare copy of your ID. Here it is." She handed the badge over.
"Thank you for your help." Conrart said with another smile.
The girl giggled again.
Yuuri frowned.
"Jealous, Shibuya?" Murata asked with a smirk.
"Huh? What? No, of course not." Yuuri said flustered. "I mean, it shouldn't be that easy to get an ID pass for a research lab, right?"
In a few minutes Conrart joined them outside, looking slightly perplexed. "Here is the ID card that you requested, your Highness and your Eminence." He said as he handed the card over to Yuuri and Murata.
Yuuri looked at the photo ID. "Conrad doesn't look anything like this guy either!" He said indignantly.
Murata smiled, "I guess to some people, all foreigners look the same." He said as he slid the ID card across a slot in front of the Bioscience Research Building.
-ooo-ooo-
The walked down a long hallway. "It's this door at the end," Murata said at last. He placed the ID card into the slot, and the door unlocked.
They entered a typical science lab, complete with lab benches, sinks, a centrifuge, micropipets, and a dome shaped toaster oven-sized monstrosity in the center of one of the lab benches.
"This is it?" Yuuri asked. "I thought it might be bigger."
"It's an experimental one, made by a graduate student who is working with fruit flies." Murata explained.
"Oh," said Yuuri. "Hey, won't it mess up his research if we take this?" Yuuri asked.
"He's on vacation right now. We'll have it back before he returns."
Yuuri knew better than to ask how Murata knew all those things.
"How are we going to get this out of here without anyone noticing?" Yuuri asked.
Conrart looked hopefully at one of the windows, but Murata ignored him. They were on the third floor. There would be no jumping out of windows involved.
"That's the easy part." Murata said as he removed a liner from a trash can. He wrapped it around the irradiator. "See? Now it's just another lumpy bag." Murata stood back to look at his work. "It's kind of heavy though because of the lead shielding, so Lord Weller will have to carry it.
Conrart picked up the bundle with a slight grunt, and they headed out of the laboratory.
Murata felt his heart pound slightly as they stepped into the hallway. Technically they weren't doing anything wrong, but if anyone became suspicious, it would be hard to explain away an insect irradiator inside a plastic bag.
"Excuse me sir," Murata stopped in his tracks as he heard the voice. He turned around.
An older man stood in the hallway. He appeared to be a custodian. Murata met the man's gaze, and fervently hoped that Yuuri wouldn't freak out and give them away.
The old man pointed at the bundle in Conrart's arms. "Is that trash? If you want I could throw it away for you."
"No, thank you, we're fine." Murata said as he was filled with relief.
They made it out of the building and back to the car without any major incidents.
-ooo-ooo-
Mission accomplished, they drove back to the Shibuya residence.
"I'm sure Mama-san and Lord von Blielfeld have had a fun day together." Murata said suggestively as Shori opened the door.
Yuuri groaned at the idea.
We're home…" Shori began. Then he stopped and stood in the doorway.
Yuuri pushed past Shori to see what was going on.
A very annoyed Wolfram stood in the middle of the living room. His head was down and his blond hair covered his eyes. He was wearing a frilly green dress trimmed with black lace. The dress color would have brought out the color of his eyes beautifully, if he had opened them. He was also wearing black knee-length stockings and dress shoes.
"Oh Yu-chan, isn't Wolf-chan just adorable?" Miko asked with her hands clasped in front of her. "And he wears the same size as you!"
"…tchh…" said Wolfram.
"Mom!" Yuuri shouted.
"It's Momma, Yu-chan." Miko corrected. "And don't shout, it's rude."
Meanwhile in Shin Makoku…
Yozak smirked to himself as he exited Conrart's bedroom. One of the best things about being left at the castle was all the unsupervised time for payback. He looked down at the small device in his hand and decided that the instant-redecoration-kun was one of the best inventions that Anissina had recently come up with. He hoped the Captain liked pink!
Author's Notes: Thanks for all the reviews!
Speaking of cross dressing, Dan included a very interesting link in the August 10 edition of Savage Love. (xdress(dot)com) "Miss Biceps" might have some competition (those models are buff!).