wow, we're already to Chapter 13. A long time coming, but dang.

I want to thank you all – past reviewers, new reviewers and returning reviewers – for keeping this story alive. I also want to thank my bffs, Seventh and Cheese (who are the basis' of Kat and Molly, though they aren't that mean in real life), for pushing me and demanding that I update. You two have stepped back from writing this version of Insanity, but even still, I couldn't have done any of this without you.

without any of you.

So thanks, guys; for everything.

Now, let's get into some emotions and some fluff cx

Chapter 13:

Death, Yet Life

Soda

"I never knew her, you know."

I looked up from staring at my hand, which was barely visible thanks to the darkness surrounding me, to settle my gaze on Pony. There was sadness in his eyes, a hint of pity flickering behind that same sadness.

"I know you didn't," I murmured, tearing my gaze from his and staring at the wall behind him. "I didn't want you to."

"Why not?" his question shook my body and I grimaced. "Why didn't I know her?"

I sighed; met his eyes – stared into the hurt and the wonder that was held in them. "You weren't meant to know her, kid. It ain't something I like talking about."

"You left us for her," Pony's tone changed; that sadness – the remorse, the pity – was replaced with a heated anger. "You left me for her."

"I know I did."

"Then why the hell didn't I get to meet her?"

I avoided his gaze again and focused on my hand. My eyes went to my wedding band; the one I'd forgotten I'd put on back at the hospital. If only I wouldn't have had this on – I thought – everything could've been avoided.

There was a moment of silence; dreadful, thrumming silence that made my ears ring. "There's a lot of people you shouldn't meet, Pony. She was one of them."

"She?" Pony raised an eyebrow, adding emphasis – a little too much for my liking – at the end of the word. "Tell me, Soda: who is she?"

Shutting my eyes, I hung my head. I fought my inner will to not say anything; to keep this on the down low, just as I'd been doing all this time. With a shudder passing through my body, I forced that wall to break and let my little brother into the depths of my heart that I'd kept locked up for so long.

"She's Claudia..." Even just saying her name threw me into a pit of despair. "and –"

The door to our holding space, I guess you could say, suddenly opened. Kat stood in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and a defiant way of which she held herself. "You're coming with me, pretty boy," she said, her eyes like ice. They held me in place as she swiftly moved forward, grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet, not even giving Pony the slightest greeting as the door slammed shut behind us.

The entire hallway was dark, the only sound being Kat's sharp footfalls and my stumbling ones. Something about Kat let me know she was pissed; maybe it was because she was growling in anger as she dragged me – or maybe it was the fact that her nails were literally digging into my skin. Whatever it was, it wasn't good; I just hoped I wasn't going too far on the receiving end.

There was a set of two wide metal doors that Kat shoved me through, hissing at me to talk if I wanted to live. She continued to push her hands against my chest, shoving backward until I was seated in a metal chair. There, she wrapped two large zip ties around my wrists before retreating a few paces before me, where she stood with her hands on her hips and her eyes glittering menacingly.

"Talk!" She yelled, a snarl coming through with the word. "Now!"

"I told you," I growled lowly, shutting my eyes to not have to stare at her, "I ain't telling you –"

The sheer force of her hand coming down on my face was enough to stun me. My head rushed, my vision blurred, and when I spit, the saliva that shot out of my mouth was dark red. My cheek stung immensely from her palm, and from the look on Kat's face, the action seemed to do her more harm than good.

"Talk," she demanded again, louder and harsher this time, "or am I really going to have to beat you to a fucking pulp in order for you to give me what I want?"

I blinked, my head still spinning. "What is it that you want?" I asked, coughing out another blood-red spitball. "What the hell do you want from me and Pony?"

That's when Kat lazily looked at her nails, inspecting them like they were some sort of prize possession. "Oh, I'm not interested in your little brother," she stated simply, making my blood boil. "I just wanted to see if you'd snap if he was hurt before you."

I snorted, rolling my eyes. "Snap in what – anger? Well, I guess you got what you –"

"Not in anger," Kat murmured, "but in pain."

"Pain?"

She nodded, her eyes softening just a tad. "Yeah – pain. That emotion you feel when someone you love is hurt; like your brother. The emotion you feel or get when someone you love dies." She suddenly regained her steely, guarded look. "Have you ever lost someone, Soda? Someone close to you?"

I shook my head, biting my lip. She didn't need to know about my parents; she'd only use it as bait when the time came around.

She sauntered towards me; placed her hands on my forearm, the cold of her rings making my blood run cold. She cocked her head to the side; let out a little laugh. "Oh, but you have, pretty boy...you have."

"You don't know a damn thing about me," I hissed, but Kat only got closer. Our eyes met, and with each breath that passed through my body, she became closer and closer together in my vision until I was looking at her through crossed eyes.

"Where's your wife, Soda?" she daunted, snickering as my breathing intensified when she said wife. "Where is she?"

I shook my head, staring her down; I wasn't going to let her get to me. I wasn't going to let her win.

Kat's grin only got wider. "Is she dead, Soda? Is your petty little wife dead?"

I flinched; my eyes watered, threatening to spill the tears that blurred Kat's image. I felt my chest grow tight, my lungs shriveling in on themselves, making air completely stop until I bothered to scream. My body started to shake as I fought the emotions – the pain, the remorse, and the grief – that were ready to consume me alive, take me for what I was and completely make a shadow of that person all because of Kat's words.

"She's dead," I confirmed, my voice breaking and slipping as I started to run out of strength. "a–and I couldn't s–save her."

"...How did she die?" Kat's voice was quieter now; almost inaudible.

"Cancer," I spat the word like bile, feeling rage crawling up my throat. "Died a few years ago."

She didn't respond, prompting me to continue.

"I met her at a bar," I recalled, smiling through the tears, "not the best place, yeah, but still... I met her there. She played piano for me when we first met – and glory, was she good. The girl could do anything she set her mind to...

I got thrown out of my house not three months later because I'd spend 'too much time with her', as my brother Darry said. So I left; didn't tell anyone that I'd left. I moved away for a couple years, then came back...found her at her same apartment she'd always lived in, and we got together completely shortly after that. She was the best-looking girl; short brown hair, dark blue eyes... I wanted to marry her the moment I met her; I mean, even through me being drunk and she being slightly tipsy, we knew we wanted to be together. I guess that's a cliche, but who the hell cares.

I left her a lot; couldn't face her after all I'd done here in Tulsa. I left and I left and I left, time after time again, but in the end, she was always waiting. She was always there, in that same damn apartment, with that same short hair and those same dark eyes... She never got older every time I saw her; she stayed the same, I think, but I don't know.

When Two-Bit's dad died, I came back. I didn't attend in person; well, I guess if you count crouching down among the bushes outside of the place, then I guess I did. I saw them all for the first time since I'd moved out that day; I saw Pony before, but not in a while. They all said the things I figured they would: asked how I was, wish I would've contacted them sooner, blah blah blah... Darry and I didn't even so much as give one another a glance, and even as Pony, Two-Bit and Steve hugged me, I ended up shoving them off and running away again.

I ran to her house, believe it or not. She let me inside, let me stay for a few hours and even kissed me that night. We were married not too long after, but no one knew besides us – no one else needed to know. Never told anyone afterward, either; not even Pony."

I paused, feeling a giant sob rip through me. "I–I was with her when she died," I stammered, letting the flow of tears that streaked my face get faster and faster, "I had to watch her suffer and go through that pain all by herself."

"So why didn't you leave?" Kat asked, though I knew it wasn't out of sheer disgust that she was asking it.

I forced my gaze to meet hers. "When you love someone like I loved Claudia, you don't leave them. You sit there and wait it out with them; you want to take their pain away, but you can't and you know you can't. Hell, they – she – knew I couldn't take her pain away no matter how much I wanted to. I held her as she died, and there's not a goddamn day that goes by without me thinking of her."

I smiled suddenly; sadly, but even so I drawled on. "I like to think that here I am, loving her from down on Earth and there she is, loving me from up in the stars that shine around the world each night. It's as if she's giving me a smile; as if she's giving the world the smile she left behind."

Kat's fingers suddenly traced along my hand, and I stared hard as she squeezed it lightly. There was a dull look to her eyes now; as if I had cracked her demeanor just a little bit from telling that to her. When I looked up, her eyes were glued to mine and she was leaning forward, so close that her breath fanned out over my face.

She suddenly reached with one hand and ripped the zip ties from their hold on me. Her gaze stayed on mine as she finished off the second one, and I shook out my numbing wrists to get the blood flowing.

Silence engulfed the room as Kat reached up with one hand and traced her nail along my jawline, her eyes now going between my lips and my eyes. "How sad it is..." she murmured, "...to lose someone that loving..."

She was getting closer now, her voice dimming down to a whisper.

"...that caring..."

Closer.

"...that human..."

Closer.

"...to a disease that has no meaning..."

Closer.

"...no intention – other than to kill."

There.

She looked into my eyes; smiled around my breath. Then, like my body had a mind of its own, I placed my own hand on the back of her neck and crushed her lips against mine. My other hand looped around her waist, pulling her into my lap as her kisses danced across my skin with a gentleness to them. Her hands scraped against my neck, my jaw, and even tangled themselves in my hair; but even so, the scrapes were light – too delicate and soft to even make me flinch.

Kat suddenly pulled away, her breathing not even changed from the suddenness of the kiss. For a moment, we simply stared at one another with wide eyes, neither of us moving or speaking or even blinking. Then, like she had done not even five minutes ago, she leaned forward again; but this time, she didn't lean as far.

"Death's a funny thing," she murmured, her forehead lightly brushing mine. Her skin was cold, yet warm at the same time; it was odd, the feeling I got when her lips came close to my ear as she whispered, "But life likes to do that to the greatest people, doesn't it?"

i told you this was gonna be fluffy and sad

I'm actually really proud of these last two chapters, honestly. XD I don't know, but writing Soda comes a lot more natural to me than writing for Pony does. It's weird!

Until next time~