Star Trek: The Life and Times of Ranma Saotome! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: "Ranma ½", "Sailor Moon", "Star Trek" and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story.
Part 13: "2007" ("M" Side).
Meanwhile, across town…
"Well, I only want to say is this to you 'delinquents'," says Miss Hinako Ninomiya, as she gave off a menacing vibe. At the moment, she was in her "adult" form.
Ranma Saotome merely sat back, and smirked. He had a feeling that his fellow practitioner—albeit reluctantly—wouldn't learn anything from her LAST nonsense.
Akane Tendo looked over towards her "true fiancé" from her desk. While she was still coming to terms with everything surrounding Ranma—including the fact that Ranma was going to get married soon—Akane took solace that from HER perspective, her first marriage will be to a younger Ranma. THAT Ranma had already left for the future, and will seek her out even though she had become considerably older, though still youthful. At least, she could take solace from the fact that their future daughters—Natsume and Karume Tendo—were a part of her family now…
Ukyo Kuonji merely sighed. The Okonomiyaki cook knew that she cared about Ranma, and that he cared about her. However, Ranma made it clear that he was dedicated to THAT HUSSY, Usagi Tsukino, even though Usagi had a reputation of being a hedonist. Still, it was not like Ukyo was unfamiliar with Usagi. Back when she was still "attached" to Ranma as a secondary "girl form"—as opposed to Ranma's standard girl form—Ukyo was, in effect, Usagi's husband…much to her own personal chagrin. She had always hoped that when she got married, SHE would be the wife.
"Heh," Ukyo says to herself. "I shouldn't be mad at Usako- Damn."
In the end, Ukyo did care for…Usagi, so it was difficult to see her as a rival for Ranma's heart.
Regardless of what was happening in the "background", all eyes were on the homeroom teacher…
Suddenly, Miss Hinako opens her eyes, and beams a broad grin.
"Congratulations! You all passed!"
"Wait a minute!" Daisuke says, as he stands up. "That's it?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, don't you have some whacked-out challenge for Ranma?"
"No. Consider this a gift."
"Aw!" Daisuke says, as he sits back down. "Now, I can't have some decent memories of this place!"
"What's with you guys?" Akane asks angrily.
"Well, you do have to admit that after WE are gone, life from this point on will be a bit boring," Hiroshi says.
"You Jack-asses!" Ukyo says. "Can't you think of someone ELSE for a change?"
"No, WE can't," says Daisuke. "Heck, we're still jealous of the fact Ranma gets all the girls."
"Tell me about it," Akane fumed slightly. Open-minded or not, she was still territorial when it came to Ranma.
Ranma turns to face Daisuke and Hiroshi.
"You two…are jealous of ME?" Ranma asks.
"Of course, we are!" Hiroshi says. "You're a good-looking dude, you make a sexy babe and you are a righteous martial artist. What's wrong with that? And another thing…where were you for last week?"
"Family business at a…martial arts tournament."
"So, did that include taking Ukyo and Akane along?"
"They're martial artists themselves…why wouldn't I invite them? And besides, Ukyo was there to represent her interests. But you two REALLY think I have it easy?"
"We're just saying that you are one lucky son-of-a-gun," Daisuke says.
Ranma nods his head. He then decided to embark on an idea.
"Okay, you two. We'll see if I am TRULY lucky to be…'Ranma Saotome'."
Ranma puts on a pair of sunglasses, and leans back in his seat.
DOOM!
Akane, Ukyo and Hinako felt a shift in the ether…
"That's odd," Hinako says with wonder.
Meanwhile, Ukyo and Akane look at each other, and then at Ranma.
"Ranma?" Akane asks.
Ranma said nothing, as he continues to stare straight ahead…
A few hours later, Hiroshi and Daisuke are walking down the hallway of the school.
"Man, that Ranma is such a bore," Hiroshi says. "You'd think he have some grand adventure happening here before school ends."
"You know, that's just it," Daisuke says. "Normally, he'd get upset at us challenging him, but…he seems relaxed-"
"FOUL sorcerer!" yelled a voice.
Hiroshi and Daisuke turn to see a rather attractive female wearing ancient Chinese armor.
"Huh?" the boys say in unison.
"I now KNOW that you have made me the avatar the goddess Kwan Ying!" the girl says, as she brandishes a Chinese broadsword. "How DARE you take away the heritage of the Emperor's champion! Have at thee!"
A while back, as way of neutralizing Tatewaki Kuno's effectiveness at being annoying—especially since he was a college student, and therefore had time to hang around the Tendo compound—and to give Kuno a touch of humility, Ranma contacted the ancient wizard known as Shazam to forge a pact between the Chinese goddess of mercy Kwan Ying, and an unsuspecting Kuno. Hence, whenever a person is in need of help from a villain, Kuno automatically changes into the avatar of Kwan Ying: The Mighty Kwan!
"We're not Ranma!" Hiroshi says.
"Yeah, we're…not…"
That's when the two notices their reflection in a nearby display case. They BOTH look like Ranma.
"Run!" Hiroshi says, as he takes off running.
"What-?" Daisuke says, just before The Mighty Kwan struck.
"Ahhhhhh-!"
Meanwhile, Hiroshi runs back to his homeroom, hoping that Ranma was still in there.
"Ranma! Ranma!" Hiroshi yells. "Kuno is back…and he's gone crazy-"
"Ah, mah kikay," says Principal Kuno says, as he leaned on Miss Hinako's desk. He STILL had that ridiculous mini-palm tree embedded in his head. "Ah knew yah couldn't get away wit'out our final bizness."
Principal Kuno reached behind his back, and pulled a pair of gloves that Freddy Kruegar or Edward Scissorhands would have been proud of.
"What are you doing?" Hiroshi says, as he began to creep back.
"It took me awhile to master the 'Fist of the Hair-hunt', but now ah will challenge ya," Principal Kuno says, as he puts on the gloves. "Who would have thought that some mysterious text book on martial arts hair-cuttin' wuld come in handy?"
Principal Kuno gets into a fighting stance.
"No!" Hiroshi says, as he back up. "NOOOOOOOO-!"
Back in the real world, Ranma merely smirks.
"What's wrong with those two?" Miss Hanako says, as she notices that both Hiroshi and Daisuke seemed to be in a trance.
"Ah, maybe they are…reminiscing," replies Ranma.
Ukyo leans over to Ranma.
"You're not using-"
"Yep, I am using the 'Tsukiyomi'," Ranma replies.
"Will that…hurt them?" Akane asked. Sometimes, Ranma using the Sharingan made him…scary.
"Naw, but they will be tired for DAYS. And since I knew Kuno and the Principal were planning on something for me, I figure that including THEM in Hiroshi and Daisuke' illusion would be like killing two birds with one stone."
"Oh…"
Meanwhile…
"Ryouga," Kay says, as she looks away.
"What's wrong, Kay?" Ryouga Hibiki replies, as he leans onto Kay. The two had been together since going out on a date the night before, and were sleeping in the lot behind the Tendo residence. Ever since the return of the Tendo sisters, most of Ranma's kids had left, leaving only Karume and Natsume behind to stay.
Atalanta ("Kay") Bear—also known as "Knockout"—turns to look at her lover with a sadness that was palatable. Weeks ago, she cut a deal with her ex-girlfriend Scandal Savage in order to help her "mother" Ranma against a bigger enemy. And a part of that condition meant that she would no longer see Ryouga again.
"Ryouga, we're…we're through."
"Wh-what? But why?"
"I…I can't see you any more because I made a promise to…in return for a favor."
Ryouga growled.
"This has something to do with Ranma, doesn't it?"
Kay sighs.
"NOT exactly-"
"But he's connected to your decision, huh?"
Kay says nothing.
Ryouga stood up.
"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT- eh?"
Ryouga felt delicate hands on his…person.
"Kay?" Ryouga exclaimed.
"Ryouga, with all this energy you are emanating from you anger at my Mom, it would be SUCH a waste if it wasn't put to good use," Kay replies. "Promise me that you won't attack Ranma?"
"But-"
"Promise?" Kay says, as she gets to work on her musings. "And just because we have to break up, that doesn't mean we can't see each other occasionally."
"Oh-ho-o-o-o," Ryouga replied, as his eyes nearly rolled in the back of his head.
Kay smiles.
"I thought so."
Meanwhile…
"I'm glad that you could make it to the funeral, Ranma," says Iris Allen, as she hugged Ranma (II), who was in a black suit. "I know that, technically, you were only Barry's friend-"
"I consider Barry, you and the others as a part of my family…especially since my great-granddaughter Linda is married to Wally," Ranma says, as he broke his hug. "Hell, I've been Barry's 'sparring partner' since the 1950s."
Iris chuckles a bit.
"Barry always thought that you were more than a 'sparring partner'."
Back in the 1950s, Usagi had worked for the Federal government as a member of "Task Force X", a "black" operation organization that filled the void that was left when the famed Justice Society of America and other so-called "golden age" teams were forced into retirement when they collectively refused to reveal their true identities. Usagi was offered the chance to work for the Americans in order to keep her son Genshin from facing the death penalty for possible war crimes within the Tojo government within Imperial Japan, even though Genshin had been put into a coma from his fight with his father Ranma, and therefore was no longer a threat. Disgusted by this blatant attempt to manipulate his family, Ranma turned his back on the Americans…but not before Usagi had already made the deal with Colonel King Faraday to become a member of both Task Force X's "Argent"—which handles costume villainy within the United States—and Suicide Squad—which handles costume villainy and special operations outside of the United States—as a "Jack-of-All-Trade" specialist, particularly in the areas of the supernatural threats. It was indeed a trying affair, since the American government was forcing his own wife to perform unethical acts in the name of "national security"...with the so-called "Cold War" as the backdrop. And it was during this time that Usagi was assigned to capture Barry Allen, who had just debut his career as the second man to bare the name "The Flash". Ranma, who was shadowing his wife, prevented Flash's capture, which had resulted in a lifelong friendship ever since.
At least, Ranma learned a few "speed tricks" from the "Scarlet Speedster"...
"Where is Usagi?" Iris asked.
"She…could not make it, unfortunately," Ranma replied. "She…hasn't been herself lately-"
"I'll say," says Jay Garrick—the first man to hold to superhero name "The Flash"—as he and his wife Joan leave the funeral wake, where the body of Bart Allen—the fourth person ever to take up "The Flash" mantle—was lying in state.
"She has some nerve showing up after what she pulled-"
"Jay, stop it," Joan interjects. "Ranma, don't pay Jay no mind…we're all upset at what happened."
"What happened was that we put Bart into a situation where he wasn't ready to be a full-time hero, that's what!"
Ranma could see that his old colleague was trying not to shed a tear.
"I better pay my respects," Ranma says, as he goes inside the inner chamber. When he does, he sees Wally West, the man who recently returned to Earth with his family as "The Flash" (III). With him were Linda, and their pre-teen children Barry and Iris.
"Mommy," says Iris says. Like her brother, Iris has both Eastern and Western features. "Who is that man?"
Linda turns around to Ranma.
"Ran-ran," Linda says, as she gets up to hug her great-grandfather. "Ran-Ran" was Linda's way of addressing Ranma.
"Linda," Ranma replied, as he hugged his granddaughter back.
"I'm sorry you grandmother wasn't able to get out of the North-" Ranma began to say, as he broke his hug…referring to the fact that Suh Jang-geum would not be able to leave Pyongyang in a timely fashion to attend Bart's funeral.
"I know, Ran-Ran," Linda replies. "I also know that Grandmother would have made it if she could have. Come, let me introduce you to my children…"
A short time later, Ranma was talking to Wally in the courtyard of the chapel…
"Wally, just say the word, and there won't be a 'rogue' problem," Ranma says, as he stares out into the graveyard.
Wally frowned, knowing exactly what Ranma was implying, but making sure that there was an air of "plausible deniability".
Wally frowned.
"No," Wally says, as he turns to face Ranma. "If we are going to take down the Rogues, we do this right. That's what…Bart would have wanted."
Ranma nods his head. Sure, Bart was annoying growing up, but to be beaten to death like a dog was something he was NOT going to let go.
"Regardless, 'Inertia' is mine."
"Then…let's get to work," Ranma replies.
Wally nods his head.
(Author's note: As readers of this story, you can choose which "Rogue" Ranma should go after. Should it be "Captain Cold", the man who is the master of the "ice gun"? Should it be "The Trickster", master of misdirection? Should it be "The Pied Piper", the master of the hypnotic sound? What about Abra Kadabra, the so-called magician of 64th century hyper-science? Would the master of the flame, "Heatwave", be a worthy challenge for Ranma? What about the Mirror Master, or what about the speed demon known simply as "Zoom"? Let me know WHO should challenge Ranma, as he avenges a death in the family.)
Meanwhile…
"There," Ranko Tendo says, as she gathered her things. "I've done all I can to pass along the secrets of the Uchiha…some of which your brother doesn't know about."
Sasuke Uchiha nods his head, as he slings his small backpack.
"Then I am ready to face my brother-"
"No, no you are not," Ranko says.
"But…the training-"
"The training only serves to do two things: strengthen the knowledge that you already have, as well as lay down some ground work on new techniques."
"I…see."
"But want to warn you: if you truly master the Uchiha's arts, your WILL face your inner demon. I faced it…Itachi has faced it…and YOU will face it."
"Is that why…Itachi murdered my clan?"
"Probably. For him, killing them was his way of getting stronger…by culling the weak."
"My parents…were NOT weak!" Sasuke yells.
"Your brother did."
Ranko could "see" Sasuke's energy signature "spike" slightly…with rage.
"Sasuke, you have a long ways to go before you are ready to face your brother. Get stronger first. More importantly, protect the one you care about the most."
Sasuke looks at Ranko thoughtful for a moment.
"Thank you, Ranko," Sasuke says with a bow. "I will…consider your words."
And with that Sasuke says, as he steps back, and disappears.
Ranko sighs. She knew perfectly well that Sasuke would sacrifice his soul in order to kill Itachi. Not that she would necessarily stop him from doing so, but what might come afterwards will have a greater detriment than-
BOOM!
Ranko turns to hear thunderous sounds in the distance. She was suppose to have breakfast with Master Jiraiya, while discussing ways to convince Tsunade to take over the leadership poison of Hokage at the Hidden Leaf Village. However, it sounds like something more pressing has taken up her attention.
So, with post haste, Ranko heads for the source of the conflict, while remembering the events of the past few days…
FLASHBACK!
Ranko stood on the top of the stonewall, ready to pounce on Orochimaru's position, when-
"I need time to…think about it," Tsunade says, as she looks away.
"Lady Tsunade!" Shizune replies.
"Oink?" replied Tonton the pig.
"I am glad to hear that, dear Tsunade," Orochimaru-chan says, as she steps back. "Once I have what I want, you will be left alone."
"We will return in a few days, Lady Tsunade," Kabuto interjects. "Don't keep us waiting."
And with that, Orochimaru-chan and Kabuto disappear.
Shizune turns to face Tsunade.
"You can't be serious, can be serious…can you?" Shizune asked.
"It's the only way to get THEM off my back," Tsunade says. "So relax…I'll think of something."
"I'm glad to hear that," Ranko says, as she drops down to the ground. "I would hate to think that you'd betray your oath to Usagi and I."
""L-Lord Ranshin?" Shizune says nervously.
"Save it, Ranma," Tsunade smirks. "I don't need you on my back right now."
"If Ranma did that, I'd have more material for my novels," says a voice from behind.
Everyone turns to see Jiraiya and Naruto standing there.
"Gah!" Tsunade says with disgust. "What perv!"
"Tell me about!" Naruto says. "We're supposed to be looking for this old lady…not trying to talk to girls!"
"And here she is!" Jiraiya says with a hearty laugh. "This is the great healer—and my friend and former team-mate—Lady Tsunade!"
"Her? With the big boobs?"
"Who are you calling OLD, kid?" Tsunade says, as her anger rises.
Naruto then sees Ranko.
"And what are you doing here, Ranko?"
Ranko swallowed hard.
"Jiraiya, I know that I wanted to keep this…thing I have a secret, but now I have no choice but to reveal the truth…to my son."
"YOU have a kid?" Naruto exclaims. "What, did 'Pervy Sage' have something to do with it?"
"Be quiet," Jiraiya replies. "If that is your choice, then I will respect it…Lord Ranshin."
"'Lord Ranshin'?" Naruto repeats. "Is my Dad here?"
Ranko looks at Naruto.
"Master Jiraiya told you many things about your father, Naruto."
Naruto crosses his arms.
"He told me enough…that he's a great fighter. What does all this have to do with YOU?"
"Naruto…I AM YOUR FATHER."
"Ha! You're girl!"
"And you like to change into one! Use your training, and see for yourself…"
"Fine," Naruto replies, as he uses his senses to see into Ranko's heart.
"Ranko" was telling the truth.
Naruto immediately look to Jiraiya, who nods his head.
"N-no!" Naruto says, as he steps back. "That's impossible! My Dad isn't a girl!"
"Search your feelings…you know it's true."
Naruto, as much as he wanted to deny the truth, but-
"No…my Dad can't be a bigger perv than 'Pervy Sage…"
"Naruto-" Ranko began, as she steps forward.
"No! Leave me alone!"
And with that, Naruto runs in the opposite direction.
"Interesting drama," Tsunade says.
"Oh, dear," Shizune says.
"Oink!" Tonton interjects.
Jiraiya sighs.
"I'll go after him," Jiraiya says, as he turns around to go after Naruto.
"Yeah," Ranko replied. She then turns towards Tsunade.
"You and I have much to discuss."
"Fine, but I need a drink first," Tsunade says.
Tbc.
Next time: IT'S ALL NARUTO TIME! Join us as we retrace the revelation of Ranma being Naruto's father, and return to the final showdown that will determine the fate of Orochimaru…forever! See you then!