A/N: guess what? without this author's note and the one wt the bottom, this chapter is exactly 1500 words! on to other topics...um...oh yeah! did you know that you guys flooded my e-mail account and i didn't clean it up until recently? well yeah...but you know what? I love it when you flood my e-mail because that means REVIEWS! on to other less geeky topics...um..oh yeah! remember a while back i asked you guys for the longest song name you could think of? a reader who this chapter is dedicated to, Bella-with-the-blue-eyes, told me an even LONGER one! wanna hear it...okay - you asked for it... 'The Sad But True Story Of Ray Mingus, The Lumberjack Of Bulk Rock City, And His Never Slacking Stribe In Exploiting The So Far Undiscovered Areas Of The Intention To Bodily Intercourse From The Opposite Species Of His Kind, During Intake Of All The Mental Condition That Could Be Derived From Fermentation' by a band called Rednex!

When I Became a Princess...

Chapter 13

BPOV

"Alice…did you hear that?" I whispered.

"What?" she asked a bit annoyed that I had interrupted her.

"Shh…that."

"I didn't hear it – you're just being paranoid."

"I did not just imagine it. Be quiet and you'll hear it."

She crossed her arms and clamped her mouth shut – something I though impossible.

Then, we head another thud and a slam against the wall.

"What was that?" she asked, eyes wide as saucers.

I shrugged. "You want to check it out?"

She shook her head so fast I thought that it could fall off. "No," she squeaked.

"C'mon Alice…" I whined.

"No," she spoke a little louder.

"Then I'll go by myself," I decided.

"No!" She tugged on my arm.

"C'mon Alice," I groaned. "I'm going to go whether you like it or not."

"Don't leave me here!"

I rolled my eyes and gestured for her to follow.

We walked as quietly as possible, pausing to see if we were getting closer to the noises. We eventually ended up in front of the boy's bathroom.

"I don't want to go in there," Alice complained.

"Alice!"

"What?"

"Just come with me!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No-o-o-o-o-o!"

"Ye-e-e-e-e-e-es," I mocked.

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NOOOO!"

"YEESSS!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

"No."

"For cryin' out loud Bella! I'm not Elmer Fudd and I'm not going in there!" she yelled as she stomped her foot.

"Wait! Shhh!" I ordered.

She huffed but didn't say a word.

"Do you hear it?" I whispered.

"Hear what?"

"My point. You can't hear it!"

Her eyes went round again. "I am definitely not going in there!"

"We are going in there whether you like it or not!" I muttered. I grabbed her skinny ass arm and gently pushed the door open.

Eyes as wide as possible, we gasped in sync.

There Edward stood, eyes an unbelievably dark shade of green and covered in blood. And it wasn't his blood, no; it was Mike Newton's. And there the dirty thing lay covered in bruises and his blood. And that wasn't the most horrifying part. Mike was unconscious.

"Edward…?" Alice whispered.

His head snapped to our direction.

"What happened?" she breathed.

Edward sighed a big gusty sigh probably letting out all the air in his lungs. He looked down, shamefully. "He…he wouldn't stop saying…things," his beautiful voice said quietly.

"Edward…" I mumbled, shaking my head slightly.

"Look, you don't know the things he says!" He threw his hands up in the air. "And it wasn't supposed to happen like this! He was-"

"What do you mean 'supposed to'?" Alice growled.

Edward sighed. "Okay – I'll tell you what happened. First, he told me that he could win a fight against me hands down. Then-"

"Why the fuck did you listen to him?! My God, Edward! You need to learn to grow up!" Alice yelled.

"Alice," he warned. "As I was saying…he asked for a fight. We went into here and…well he basically threw his feet and hands around like he was swatting a fly. That was how it was supposed to be. Then…well then…"

"OUT WITH IT!" Alice shrieked from anticipation.

He sighed. "Well…he…he said something…it doesn't matter but it struck a nerve and…well…yeah."

"If it doesn't matter then why did it make you so mad that you lost your temper?" Alice spoke, smirking.

"It doesn't matter," he gritted out between his teeth.

"What are we going to do with him?" I finally spoke but it was nothing more than a whisper.

In a millisecond, Alice had her phone out. "CARLISLE!!"

"Alice! Way to bail me out!" Edward threw his hands into the air.

She smiled. "I was just kidding." She rolled her eyes and dialed another number. "Hey…um, would you mind coming to this restaurant…yeah, it's after that exit…okay…well, um…Edward here lost his temper and…ha! Yeah. No explanation needed is right. Well I'll see you soon…yeah…and please try not to attract press…thanks. Bye…love you, too, Jazzy… No! I love you more… I love you more! NO! Don't hang up…okay, but I still love you more…-"

"Hi Jasper," Edward said as he ripped the phone away from Alice. "When will you be here? Okay…is Em with you? Oh…okay, good. See you soon." With that, he snapped the phone shut and handed it to a pouting Alice.

"I was talking to him!" she whined.

"Get over it."

"We're here!" someone sang.

I turned to see a giant mass of muscles. He hand curly brown hair and sparkling eyes like a child's. A thin blonde followed him with pile of hair on his head. The blonde had cool, calm, and collected blue eyes. He seemed perfectly at ease even in this situation and walked straight to Alice.

"Who's this?" the big guy asked, eyeing me.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Em, this is Isabella, the person I'm betrothed to. Bella, this ass is Emmett."

I giggled as Emmett's eyes got wide and he turned to Edward. "Please warn me about something like that before my mind gets ahead of me."

"Hi Emmett, you can call me Bella," I said as I held out my hand.

"Hey Bella, you can call me Sexy," he copied as he shook my hand.

Edward smacked Emmett's big arm.

"Ow, man. Fine I'll stop!" Emmett told him. "Prick," he muttered.

"I heard that," Edward sighed.

I laughed as Emmett turned back to me. "That probably means Sexy is off the nickname list for me. I guess you can call me Em or Emmett the Great. Whichever you prefer," he said seriously.

I shook with laughter and turned to Edward. "Where'd you pick him up?"

Edward shook his head. "I wish I hadn't."

Emmett turned his back to Edward and mouthed what he had said.

I pulled my hand to my mouth to cover up the giggles.

"I'm so virtuous that I won't get laid till I'm eighty!" Emmett mocked, using a very high-pitched voice.

I couldn't help it now; I had to laugh.

"Em, shut the fuck up," Edward growled.

Emmett smirked and leaned down to whisper in my ear. "He hates it when we remind him of his virgin status. It's hilarious! And did you know what? He's never had a girlfriend!"

I brought my hand to my mouth at the impossibility.

"You know what else? He's a cross dresser. That's right – he wears women's clothing. His favorite piece is his bright red thong that he wears most the time under his jeans. See, if he leans over you can see the G-string."

My face was officially red and my hand was about to fall off due to the lack of circulation in it because it was clamped over my mouth so hard.

"What did he say this time?" Edward asked.

"Cross…dresser…red…thong!" I burst out between laughter.

Surprisingly, Edward's face turned red.

"Is Eddie-poo blushing?" Alice asked, done with showing Jasper her…affection.

I nodded and Emmett chuckled.

"Why?" she questioned.

"I only said cross dresser and red thong." I shrugged.

Alice's eyes went wide. "Edward…?"

"It was a fucking Emmett dare!" he yelled.

"And that wasn't even the best one," Emmett laughed.

"You're such a liar, Em," the blonde muttered. "He's not a cross dresser." He rolled his eyes but turned to me with a warm smile. "I'm Jasper."

"Bella." I held my hand out for him to clasp it in his bigger one.

"Now that we're done with introductions and humor at my expense can we take care of Newton?" Edward asked.

Jasper's face turned serious. "Did you check his pulse?"

Edward grabbed Mike's wrist in response and placed two fingers on a vein. "He alive. Just unconscious."

Jasper nodded but sighed. "Didn't I tell you two to grow the hell up?"

Edward grumbled something.

"What was that?" Emmett asked holding a hand to his ear.

Edward muttered something a bit louder.

"Excuse me?" Emmett smirked.

"I said, 'Yes! Jasper did tell us to grow the hell up!"

Emmett smiled. "Good. Thought you were going mute on us."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Um…guys?" Alice interrupted.

"Not now Alice," Edward muttered. "We have to figure out what to do with Newton."

"Guys?" Alice tried again.

"Any ideas?" Edward said, ignoring Alice.

"GUYS!"

"What?!" Edward turned angrily to her.

"Looks like Eddie called for backup," an annoying voice that belonged to none other then Mike Newton rang out through the bathroom.

A/N: did you like it? i felt like i really needed a good laugh but did i over do it with the cross dressing thing? u know how guys can get when it comes to a dare so they won't back down though... but anyway...how many of you are disappointed that Mike isn't dead because i know i am but i really like his snotty character - i know, you're shocked but i feel like he should be there to provoke MORE funny situations. what else? oh! i'm gonna give you several lyrics to a song and if you get the ALBUM, ARTIST, SONG NAME, and the YEAR the album came out i'll dedicate the next chapter to you and you'll receive virtual cookies and a mystery prize that won't be mentioned until the next chapter! now... what song is this, who is the band, what album is it on, and what year did said album come out? lucky guessing!

"...because the drugs never work,

They're gonna give you a smirk,


Cause they got methods of keeping you clean


They gonna rip up your heads


Your aspirations to shreds


Another cog in the murder machine

They said all Teenagers scare


the living shit out of me


they could care less as long as someone'll bleed


So darken your clothes


or strike a violent pose

Maybe they'll leave you alone


But not me..."

oh, and i m soo not updating until i get a certain number of reviews that i'm not going to tell you about! i know i sound mean but my gosh! there are a lot of you that can review but don't so review if you ever want another chapter again so review!! ohh! i sound like a pirate! hehehe