Hi, this chapter is late and not the best. But I hope you like it.
Being at Hogwarts without Delaney was horrible, I missed her like crazy. I'd left Dumbledore's office an hour ago after he told me about the arrangements for Henry Kalum's funeral. Remus and I were to Floo from his office to Delaney's house Tuesday morning and be back by that night.
The two of us were sitting in the common room together now, staring at the fire without saying anything. I had the sneaking suspicion his quiet presence was the only thing keeping me moderately sane right now. He didn't insist on talking or touching or anything, it seemed he just wanted to sit with me and I couldn't be more thankful. Then he handed me a piece of chocolate and my insides melted, making me throw my arms around him.
"Thank you," I whispered, feeling him gently pat my back. "I couldn't have handled this without you."
When I pulled back from him, I opened my eyes to see Sirius standing at the foot of the staircase with his jaw hanging slack. Even if I'd done nothing wrong, I felt ice flood my body followed by guilt. He quickly snapped his mouth shut and made his way over to us, a bit of fear collecting at the base of my spine out of reflex.
"I'm sorry about Delaney's dad," he said after he perched on the edge of the table in front of us. "I'll take notes for you in Herbology and Charms."
That surprised me and I'm sure it showed on my face. "You never take notes."
"No, but you always do," he replied with a shrug.
I was waiting for the punchline because this was surely a joke. When he didn't say one, I realized he was being real with me. This was probably his way of showing me he cared, he was trying to get himself back into my good graces. After the argument we had in this same spot last week, he'd been going out of his way to help me and be my friend. I know he was trying, but it was getting a bit suffocating.
"Thanks, I appreciate the effort," I smiled stiffly, standing up from the couch and turning to Remus. "Do you want to meet down here tomorrow at eleven?"
He nodded and I turned, heading upstairs away from the awkward situation. I didn't want to be thinking about me and Sirius right now, my mind had to be focused on Delaney. She needed one hundred percent of me and I had to give it to her.
Sirius' Point of View
Seeing Poppy hug Remus felt like a stab to the back, but I knew it was my own fault. I'd made my bed and I was now lying in it. I'd tried my best to fix things, but Poppy wasn't like other girls. Whenever I messed up with them, I just gave them the smolder and they practically bent over backward for me.
Honestly, that was one of the things I loved about Poppy. She was such a challenge, nothing about her was easy. I understood being messed up because of your parents, but she had so much more battling around in her head. I'd never had to work for anything in my entire life, then she waltzed in and I feel like I'm constantly trying to be better for her.
She'd started trusting me and let me in, letting me kiss her and hold her intimately. Only for me to dash it to bits with a few choice words. I wasn't lying when I said I'd rather watch her do homework than shag anyone else, but I also wanted her more than I've ever wanted anyone in my entire life. Even if the thought of taking her virginity scared the hell out of me, I wanted to her to trust me enough to give it to me. I also wanted to murder the scum who gave her that scar, even if she wouldn't tell me who he was.
"What the hell is her problem?" I asked, slamming down onto the couch by Remus. "I'm trying and she doesn't care."
"You offered to take notes for her, that hardly makes you boyfriend of the year," he replied. "You really hurt her, Pads."
He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. "She's so frustrating. I can't even get her to look at me and she was all over you."
"Did you ever think that maybe that was your problem?" he barked, looking at me for the first time since I'd sat down. "Her best friend's dad just died, it would be like James' dad dying for you. She doesn't want to talk about you and your selfishness, she wants to be comforted and listened to. She hugged me because I don't pressure her to feel or do things, I just sit with her when she needs me."
He pushed up jerkily and stalked out of the common room, leaving me alone on the couch. I wanted to be angry with him, but I knew he was right. She needed someone to just be there for her and that wasn't me lately. I was pushing myself on her and trying to be like we were, but things were different now.
I hadn't thought about her pain in terms of how it would feel if our roles were reversed. Fleamont Potter was the only father I'd ever known, my birth one wasn't anything to brag about. If it wasn't for Fleamont Potter, I probably wouldn't be alive right now and I knew it. Poppy had to feel the same about Delaney's dad, the two of us were in the same boat on the ocean of shitty parents.
It was still early; most people were out in the castle or somewhere about the grounds. I really hoped Poppy was alone in her dorm or this was going to be a disaster. I levitated myself up onto the landing with grace I would usually brag about. Instead, I made a beeline up to the sixth year girls' dormitory. The light was on, but only one of the beds had the curtains pulled around it -Poppy's. I took that as a good sign and approached it, fidgeting nervously with my hair like I was a nervous little kid.
"Poppy?" I asked quietly, hoping to whoever was up there this was her bed.
The curtains parted and her face appeared between them. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had bags under her eyes I didn't see before. She had her hair twisted on top of her head and it was clear I'd interrupted her crying.
"What?" she asked, her voice rough and crackly. Then she mistook my silence for disgust and snapped, "This is what I look like without charms and makeup. I bet you really want to leave now."
"No!" I argued, desperate for her to keep talking to me. "You're sad, but you're still beautiful. You're always beautiful, freckles."
I watched her wince and felt my heart crack, the nickname used to make her grin and her cheeks blush. I'd really messed things up, so much I might not be able to fix them. Merlin, I really hoped that wasn't true.
"Did you need something?" she asked, sitting up with her legs crossed. "I thought I made it pretty clear I didn't want to talk."
"Then we don't have to talk," I told her desperately. "We can just sit in silence, I just want to be here for you."
I watched her battle with her emotions, chewing her lip anxiously. I was so sure she'd tell me to leave, I was about to turn around when she shifted back on her bed. After toeing off my shoes, I crawled inside and pulled the curtains closed behind me. The two of us just sat together, looking at each other for a few minutes.
"This isn't some ploy to get me to sleep with you, is it?" she asked in a tired voice. "I don't think I can handle that."
I shook my head immediately. "No, I'm here for you. Just tell me what you want and I'll do it, even if that means leaving. I just want to help."
She looked at me skeptically for a few seconds before she laid down on her side, leaving enough room for me to do the same. Her eyes were closed and I saw tears clinging to her eyelashes. Being blasted off the tapestry was nothing compared to this. True pain was watching someone you cared about more than yourself hurt without being able to help.
"I'm sorry," I told her quietly. "I know you feel like you're not allowed to be sad, but you are. He rescued you from a bad situation."
She flashed her eyes up to me and gave me time to really look at them. They were the deepest blue I'd ever seen, I could get lost in them. I wondered how I'd ever thought her body was the sexiest thing about her. Don't get me wrong, her curves were still out of this world, but her eyes were so complex and intelligent -I felt my breathing hitch a bit.
I watched her slowly reach out and take my hand, sliding her fingers between mine. This was the most we'd touched in what felt like forever. I wanted to pull her close and kiss her, but I knew that would be crossing a line. She was allowing this because I'd done something right and I was going to appreciate it.
Poppy's Point of View
I spent more time than necessary on curling my hair and doing my makeup the next morning. I charmed both into place and pulled on my cardigan before heading downstairs to meet Remus slowly. He was sitting in a chair by the fireplace wearing a black button down and khakis, looking uncomfortable already.
"Ready?" I asked, rocking awkwardly on the balls of my feet.
He nodded and stood up, the two of us leaving the common room slowly. We walked to Dumbledore's office silently. I put my hand on the bend of Remus' arm as we waited for the staircase to appear that lead us up to the office.
"Am I overstepping?" he asked without looking at me.
"No, Rem, you're not overstepping," I promised, reaching over and squeezing his bicep reassuring as the wall opened. "Delaney invited you, she obviously wants you there because you two care about each other."
That reassured him enough to follow me up the stairs. Dumbledore wasn't there, but Fawkes was sitting on his perch by the fireplace. I don't know why, but it felt like he was there waiting for us. I scratched the feathers at his neck and he cooed happily before gesturing to the pot sitting on the ledge of the fireplace. I nodded and did as he instructed, saying Delaney's address clear and loud enough for Remus to hear.
After the unpleasant swirl tugged at my stomach, I arrived in their home. It was familiar and usually made me happy, but the air around it was different today. I stepped out of the hearth and Delaney shot across the room to me. I gave Remus enough room to get out of the fireplace before wrapping my arms around her.
"Thank you for coming," she told me in a gravelly voice.
When the Floo roared a second time, she let go of me and went over to hug Remus. I saw his cheeks flush as he hesitantly patted her back. While they were talking, I went and found her mother in the kitchen with Henry's sisters. I'd met them in passing a couple times but couldn't remember their names.
She sat her glass on the cabinet the second she saw me and opened her arms. I hugged her and felt her let out a breath of relief.
"Lanie's running herself ragged trying to put this all together," she told me after we parted. "She won't let me do anything, she barely let me speak with the funeral director."
That was Delaney if I've ever heard, she always had to take care of everyone. "I can only imagine. Remus and I will try to keep her from running anymore."
"Is that the boy she keeps mentioning before she hushes up really fast?" Izzie asked, a hint of a smile lighting behind her eyes.
"Yes, he's in the living room. We got a ride here together," I told her, remembering Henry's sisters were muggles and didn't know anything about magic.
Things happened pretty quickly after that. Remus and I rode to the funeral home with Izzie and Delaney, Izzie explaining how muggle funerals worked to me. She got choked up a couple times and Lanie took over. By the time we arrived, I knew how to act and where to sit.
Remus and I stayed together while Izzie and Delaney made rounds to speak to all the guests. For obvious reasons, Henry was cremated and we were currently at his visitation. That meant people were coming to say their final goodbyes and pay their respects to the family. The funeral would come later.
"I feel weird being here," Remus whispered to me as we sat together in a pew toward the back of the place.
I placed my hand on top of his and replied, "So do I. None of these people know me or understand why I'm upset. I'm just glad you're here, too."
We sat together like that for the entirety of the visitation and moved up to sit closer to Delaney before the funeral. Once it was over, we waited with her until everyone left and I made my way up to her. I hugged her tight and felt her start crying, refusing to break in front of all those people. Tears of my own gathered behind my eyes and fell down my cheeks to match. Remus stood beside us and patted both our backs awkwardly, not knowing what to do but trying to help.
I definitely could've done worse in the friendship department.
Thanks for reading!