Well, hello there, everyone! Long time no see! I can't believe I haven't updated since... last year.
That joke will never get old to me, okay.
But seriously, I really can't believe it's been a month and two days since I've updated. I feel terrible for doing that to you guys, and I feel even worse that I left you guys on a cliffhanger too. ;~;
For those who are actually still here, I'd just like to thank you so so much for not dropping this story. It really means a lot, and I don't know how to express my gratitude, ugh. I'm just really, really happy.
I don't really have any reason for not updating, honestly. I've come to realize that writing fanfics is a hobby. I shouldn't be stressing myself out as much as I did last year and the year before. I guess you can say my New Year's resolution is to write at my own pace, and not the pace of others. :-)
Going on to other things, since the last time I updated, I've posted two stories! A collab one-shot with the fantastic LoneStorm, and Part II to The One Who Got Away. If you haven't already, you guys should go check it out because I had so much fun writing both of them. Especially TOWGA, omg.
I promise that I will not take a month to write chapter 14! Doing that to you guys was the worst thing an author could do, and I really would like to apologize. :c
Well, anyway, that's it for now. Hope everyone has had a great January so far, and please look forward to the next chapter! Thank you so much for reading!
My footsteps come to an abrupt stop as I stare at Natsu with wide, perplexed eyes. As I try to think of a response as quickly as I can, I end up catching a glimpse of Lisanna's eyes piercing into mine with expectancy. I gulp, using all my strength to ignore the guilt inside of me.
"Nothing happened between Gray and I," I answer with a steady voice, resuming our stroll. "We were close friends when we were younger, but that was it. It wasn't anything special, really!"
"Really?" Natsu asks curiously. His tone tells me he isn't fully convinced yet.
"Yep!" I begin to babble. "We've been friends as long as Lisanna and I have been friends. Time really flies after you've been friends with someone for so long! Isn't that right, Lisanna?" I flick my eyes at her, apprehensively waiting for her response.
"Sure," Lisanna does a single nod.
Natsu shoves his hands into his pockets with his eyes withdrawn. "Good to know," he mutters.
"So, there you have it," I conclude with a heavy breath, incredibly grateful that we've reached the apartment complex. I use it as a way to switch topics.
Once we've said goodnight to Lisanna, Natsu and I wordlessly enter our apartment. The heaviness in my chest is becoming too hard to bear, so I'm about to go to my room for the night, but Natsu's hand on my wrist stops me. I know I'm not imagining the tension growing between us. I look back at him over my shoulder.
"I'm jealous," he states with no hesitation.
"You're what?" I blurt out, caught off guard.
"What would you do if I said something like that?" he inquires with a hint of a playful smirk somewhere on his lips.
"D-Don't play like that!" I exclaim, harsher than I intended.
"No, seriously," he insists. He still hasn't released my wrist. "What would you do if I actually meant that?"
"I would assure you that there's no reason to be," I respond carefully. "According to the manual, as long as you're here with me, I'm your girlfriend. Right?"
"Right," a complacent smile spreads across his face. "That's a good way to assure me."
"I'm glad," I reply. Although we're both matching smiles, the feeling in my chest still hasn't wavered. I gently tug my wrist away from him as I start to step away. "I'm going to go for the night. Goodnight, Natsu."
"Night, Luce," he tells me before I've shut the door to my room.
I force my back against the door, biting my lip until it starts to throb. My hands tremble by my sides; I feel nothing but regret after lying to him about Gray.
Because Natsu can feel what I'm feeling, does he know that I lied to him? If he does, why didn't he say anything? Every part of me wants to tell him the truth between Gray and I, but I can't.
I can't tell Natsu anything about him.
Repeating those words in my head, I slip into my pajamas and slide under the covers in my bed. I gaze up at the ceiling. I'm able to hear Natsu's soft voice travelling beneath the door as he speaks to Happy.
I can't tell him.
And I have no intention to.
The study sessions at Gray's house have officially taken over our lives.
We study for nearly four hours a night—sometimes even longer if the unit we're reviewing is lengthier than the others. With each day that goes by, our stress level rises slightly. Thankfully, Natsu and the rest of the boys are able to distract us just for a little while with their obnoxious jokes.
Despite the study sessions being a complete waste of time for Natsu, he continues to tag along with us. I can't help but feel the urge to giggle as I watch him skim through his notes like he's actually studying. It's amusing to know that he can probably read his notes with his eyes closed, yet still pretends to study.
After Levy suggestion from the first night, we decide to play short, competitive games in order for all the material we studied that night to stay in our heads. It's more fun than we expected it to be.
Erza forbids us to partner up with someone we're involved with, so I find myself getting paired up with Gray during the games. Surprisingly enough, we work better together than any other team, winning nearly every game we play.
"How are Gray and Lucy winning all these games?!" Juvia huffs out with her arms crossed.
"Yeah, it's getting on my nerves," Gajeel agrees, glaring at us.
"We're just good at working together," Gray explains while sending them a smug look. "Don't you agree, Lucy?"
"I guess so," I shrug nonchalantly, trying my best to hold back my amusement.
I won't ever say it aloud, but it's refreshing—speaking to Gray. It brings back some faint feelings in my chest that I've forgotten about. We're speaking more during the study sessions than we ever have in the past few months. Even if we're not playing the games together, we still linger around each other whether it be as we study or as we take a break.
We talk as if we're friends again. We always have been, but now, it feels real. I'm not the only one who seems to be realizing it; everyone else does, too.
"You and Gray seem like best friends now," Levy remarks when we've taken another break from studying.
"I've noticed that, too," Lisanna chimes in with a skeptical eyes. "What's up with you two?"
"We're just studying together," I reply smoothly. I cast a look at Gray across the room, viewing him speak with Juvia. "Are we not allowed to talk to each other?"
"We didn't say that. It's just…" Levy's voice trails off.
"Unexpected," Lisanna finishes for her. "Ever since Natsu came here, you never really talked to Gray much."
"We're friends!" I protest, not being able to understand why I'm being questioned in the first place. "You guys are looking too much into it."
"I guess," Levy and Lisanna mumble simultaneously.
"Let's get back to studying," I wave my hand in the air to dismiss the conversation.
There isn't—shouldn't be—anything wrong with Gray and I becoming closer friends. Being distant with one another after all these years, it's only natural.
Right?
"Finally, another day down!" Natsu yawns loudly once the study session has ended and we're on our way back home. "You have no idea how tired I am, guys."
"I think I can imagine," I stifle a giggle.
"I didn't think robots could get bags under their eyes," Lisanna teases.
"Neither did I," Natsu gives out another yawn. "It takes a lot of effort to pretend to be dumb."
"Your acting skills are flawless," she grins.
I listen in on Lisanna and Natsu's lively conversation. It's comforting to know that Natsu doesn't only need to rely on me for conversation anymore. A small smile is placing itself on my lips, but it isn't until we're passing by a convenience store when it vanishes as my eyes connect gazes with a pair of sparkling, hazel ones.
"Lucy! Is that you?!" Loke calls out, lifting his hand in the air to wave. He doesn't hesitate to take long strides towards me.
"L-Long time no see," I respond, uneasily glancing at his twinkling teeth. I'm able to sense Natsu shifting closer to me.
"Has your hair gotten longer from the last time we've seen each other?" Loke purrs.
I shake my head, only to receive more unsettling compliments by him. It doesn't sound like I've slipped from his mind once, yet I hardly remember that Loke even existed. Every word that leaves his mouth increases my discomfort. I can't pay attention to his words.
I flinch once I see his hand extending out towards me. But before he's able to touch me, Natsu steps in front of us. Loke's hand ends up colliding into Natsu's chest instead.
"Lucy and I have to go," Natsu says.
"Oh, you again," Loke blinks several times, taking a step back. "Why are you always together? You're only friends, right? Let me have—"
"Lucy isn't feeling too good right now, so we're leaving," Natsu states firmly.
Loke raises a brow, though he isn't given any time to say a word, since Natsu has already seized my wrist and taken me away from him. I can feel Loke's eyes boring into my back while we hurry away.
"Who was that?!" Lisanna exclaims, keeping up with our rapid steps. "That guy looked like a total creep."
"Tell me about it," I mumble. I look up at Natsu, sending him a grateful smile. "Thanks for doing that."
"You're welcome," he replies. My heart skips a beat at the gentle squeeze he gives my wrist.
"You definitely shouldn't see that guy again," Lisanna instructs sternly. "There's something about him that just isn't right."
I nod quickly at her words. "I don't have any plans on seeing that guy again."
"Good. If you ever see him again when you're alone, call me as soon as possible," she commands.
"And call me as soon as possible, too!" Natsu proclaims.
A grin breaks out on my lips at their determined expressions. "You two are the best, you know that, right?"
Natsu and Lisanna give one another a look, sharing a smile.
"We know!"
"You're the best at this kind of stuff, Lucy," Gray sighs the next day at the study session.
"I know," I beam proudly. "It's not that hard if you pay attention to the steps, though. Math is a lot easier if you pay attention."
"You know that I don't notice small things like that, though," he grumbles.
"I know that, too," I giggle. "You're just going to have to try harder!"
My cheeks throb at the permanent smile on my face. Gray's biggest weak spot has always been math; that doesn't seem to have changed even after all these years. I can't help but feel like we're younger again as I try my best to help him understand the different concepts.
"I give up," Gray groans after only two minutes. He tosses his pencil onto his notebook with defeat.
"Oh, no, you don't," I disagree as I shove the pencil back into his hands. "Come on, it's only one more week of studying and then you'll be finished!"
"Easier said than done," he gives out another groan. "How are you always so positive, anyway?"
"Practice," I answer simply. "It's easier if you stay positive."
"I don't think I've ever seen you being negative," he comments.
"Yeah, it's been a long time since I have been," I admit.
There's a flicker in Gray's eyes as he gives me a look. I try not to widen my eyes too much—we're both recalling the same memory.
"Your parents, huh?" he assumes softly, just for me to hear. He returns to scribbling in his notebook.
I give a slight nod, my eyes dropping down to my lap.
"Am I still the only person who knows?" he continues to ask, still writing in his notebook.
"Lisanna knows," I say slowly, not sure if I should add the last part. I do, anyway. "Natsu knows, too."
"You told Flame-brain?" Gray's mouth drops with disbelief. "Why him?"
"B-Because," I stammer, twirling my thumbs around. "He's special to me."
Those are the last words I'm able to say due to Erza's whistle, signaling that we'll be starting another review game. Gray sticks his hand out to me once he has picked himself up from the floor.
"Good for you two, then," is the last sentence to our conversation.
With that, we pair up and prepare to win our next review game.
As the study sessions continue, Gray and I continue to get closer as well. Spending hours upon hours studying together, it feels strange to not be together. But that's all we're doing—studying. Some seem to deal with it better than others.
Natsu? Not so much.
I immediately know something is off the second he holds onto my hand as soon as we step outside to head home. Each day that passes, he grabs my hand earlier and earlier. Soon enough, he's already entwining our fingers at Gray's doorstep.
"You guys have no shame," Levy sends us a wink at our connected hands.
"It's pretty gross, actually," Gajeel guarantees bluntly.
"I think it's cute!" Lisanna defends us with a frown.
"Lucy is cute," Natsu states, his voice sounding faster than usual. My mouth opens with surprise along with Levy and Lisanna's gasps.
"I'm rooting for you two!" Levy shouts happily when we start to separate for the night.
As Levy and Gajeel disappear from our sight, I whip my head to Natsu with startled eyes. However, I'm even more alarmed to find him with the same expression.
"A-Are you okay?" I question hesitantly, feeling his hand become tighter around mine. "Is there something happening to your program?"
"Nope," he shakes his head. "Nothing is happening."
"Are you sure?" I double check. "Your voice sounded a little weird earlier when you called me cute."
"Sorry," he brings his free hand to the back of his neck. "It just sort of came out before I knew what was happening."
"Maybe his program is updating to compliment you more often!" Lisanna suggests, though there isn't any confidence in her words.
"Yeah, that could be it," I consider with a slow nod. "Tell me if you feel anything weird, okay, Natsu?"
"Already do," he responds under his breath.
"What?" I tilt my head, not sure if I heard him correctly.
"Nothing," he assures with a tight smile. It causes my chest to ache. Natsu doesn't say a word for the rest of the walk, leaving Lisanna and I desperately trying to think of conversation topics.
Eventually dropping her off at her apartment, Natsu and I soon enter mine. Despite his silence, he doesn't let go of my hand. I'm too afraid to do it, so I don't say anything while we quietly sit together on the couch.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I whisper after he's done petting Happy for the umpteenth time.
"Something feels weird," he answers distantly. "I've never felt this way before, and neither have you."
"I don't feel anything right now," I reply, dumbfounded.
"Neither do I."
Natsu and I turn to one another, peering at each other with clouded eyes as though we're both afraid to tell each other our thoughts. He's the first one to break the silence.
"I have a question."
"What is it?" I watch him untwine our fingers. Warmth blossoms on my cheeks as he pushes back the loose locks of my hair behind my ear. Natsu's touch—I've become addicted to it.
"What's wrong?" I ask urgently after noticing his strained expression. "Natsu, what's your question?"
"What are you feeling right now?" he leans closer to me. My eyes close without a second thought, but he leans into my neck instead, listening intently to my heartbeat.
"Nervous," I say softly.
"What else?"
"Happy."
"Anything else?"
"A little excited."
As the words leave my mouth, Natsu swiftly pulls back with a sharp breath. A lump starts to form in my throat; something isn't right.
"Something isn't right," he whispers, surging up from the couch. "This isn't right."
"What isn't right?" I rise with him, anxiously watching him pace in front of me. "What are you doing?"
"Do you like anyone else other than me?" he interrogates with his steps coming to a stop.
"Do I what?" I spit out incredulously.
"I need you to answer the question, Luce. Because right now, whatever you're feeling, I'm not sensing any of it."