:)
Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts or any of it's characters.
XXX Human Saints and Sinners XXX
It was one in the morning. Break thought about the two hours that had just passed by. It seemed like every event happened in a hopeless blur that was too hard to believe. Finding out that no one had seen Alice, rushing around Headquarters with Sharon looking for her, and then retracing his steps down the same hall that he had seen her leave out of -or thought she left from. And the moment he saw her laying there …he almost lost it.
At the moment, he was running his fingers through her brown hair as she lay in pain, sleeping on their bed; body trembling from time to time. He could see that the bruises on her back resembled four long fingertips; each one starting up toward her neck and disappearing behind her nightgown. His thoughts wondered.
"I'll kill him! I know he did this to her!"
"Please stay calm Break, we have to-"
"Sharon, how do you expect me to stay calm at a time like this?"
"We'll take her home and then call a doctor. Going after him now won't be the best action."
A knock on his bedroom door brought his mind back to the moment. Break looked back at the small body in the bed before he released the thick cream bed curtains and pulled them together so that her body was completely enclosed and safely shielded. When he opened the bedroom door he saw Liam standing there with a man that Break found familiar, but didn't know exactly. Break looked the tall thin stranger up and down, seeing that he was no older than twenty eight or so. Then he turned his eyes to Liam.
"I brought the doctor as soon as I could," Liam said faithfully.
"I'm sorry I couldn't get here quicker, has her condition progressed?," the man asked, trying to look past Break and into the bedroom, mostly looking for a glimpse of Alice.
Break got in the way of his vision, "I'm sorry…" he really wasn't sorry, "Have we met before?" abrupt skepticism laced every word.
"Forgive me. I'm Doctor Thomas. I work with Pandora's medical department. I've heard a lot about you, sir. It's an honor to meet you," he put his hand out for Break to shake but the mad man just looked at it; the man awkwardly took it back when he realized Break wouldn't participate.
"ah huh," he said flatly, "And what is it you specialize in?"
"Many things, but I work closely with ex-contractors, providing the care they need after their chains have been destroyed. I've done extensive research surrounding new medical conditions that have sprung up after contracts have been broken. I know Alice is a 'special' case, but frankly, I'm not sure a common medical practitioner would be fit to provide care."
"What makes you any different from them if you haven't dealt with a human chain before?"
"Well, for one thing, I already have that knowledge about her, so I wouldn't treat this like a typical case. I also know what types of medicine may be best for her condition."
He shook his head 'no' with a sarcastic smile, "Yeah…I don't think so. Thank you anyway," he said pleasantly, trying to shut the door, but Liam put his hand in the way.
"Wait, Break! He's the best person to deal with this; I understand how you feel…I wouldn't want Oz upset with me either if something more happened to Alice on my watch."
Break stopped himself from rolling his eyes, Liam had it all wrong. He didn't give a damn about what Oz would think, say, or feel when it came to Alice. It was Break who didn't trust strange people with treating her ailments…especially another Pandora agent.
"I've known Doctor Thomas for many years; we can trust him to do his best. At least give him a chance..."
Break thought it over for a minute ready to tell them once again that he wasn't going to allow it. But then he heard Alice give a small painful whimper in her sleep, followed by the broken sound of his name. Break gave in, but not completely.
He opened the door, "You have fifteen minutes to evaluate her. If you have no clear assessment after that, then I have no need for you."
The doctor bowed graciously, "I understand," Break reluctantly let him pass into the room. Then he turned his eyes on Liam, "Would you please do a full background check on him and put anything you find into a report for me. I want to know everything possible about this man. From what he eats on Wednesdays to how many glasses of wine he drank last week."
"Yes sir, I'll get on it right away."
Break closed the door, eyes falling directly on the man that looked hesitant to open the curtains and touch the girl without Break's permission. The white haired man gave him a nod of approval before he opened the curtains and began to unbutton the back of the girl's nightgown so that her back was exposed.
The man's movements were clinical and professional, face serious and genuine concern seemed to rise in his eyes, as he listened to the girl's heartbeat through the stethoscope. He took medical notes occasionally, tracking his observations and discoveries. When he examined the red marks on her back he was careful and focused, only touching the areas on her back and not probing or poking at places that weren't related to the task at hand.
"Do you know if she's ever been seen by a normal doctor before?"
"Not to my knowledge…" Break answered truthfully. Arms still crossed and eyes not leaving the man's form as he worked.
The assessment came well under the fifteen minute deadline, "From the way it looks, it appears that the marks on her back are preventing her from fully recovering from the attack."
"How?"
"It's an after affect from whoever attacked her. Their power is still flowing through her and the source is the bruises. Once the bruises heal she should be fine. I have something that might speed up the healing process," the man reached into his black medical bag and retrieved a small jar of black liquid.
He handed it to Break, watching the man open the cap and smell it. Before the mad man could ask the question, the answer was already in motion, "It's a mixture of Aloe and the blood of the chain Raven. If I'm right about her condition, only one or two applications should do the trick before the marks disappear completely."
Break's eyes narrowed, "How did you know to make this, if you haven't seen her condition until now?"
The man looked saddened that Break was still so suspicious, "Well, I-"
"I'm sorry, Break," Sharon's voice came from the doorway, "When he called back, I told him what happened over the phone. He pieced the rest together himself from the information Pandora already knows about Raven's affect on her…that's why he made the serum before he came. I know I should have checked with you first, but I couldn't bear to see her in anymore pain."
"Its fine," he said, assuring her that he wasn't upset with her. When she approached him, she said a soft "May I?" and he nodded before he let her take the jar and head over to Alice.
"If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to call me. And you can trust that everything that happened here today will remain confidential. I'm certainly not one for gossip." he said as he gathered his notebook and medical bag in his hands.
"Me either," Break said, quickly snatching the page off the man's notebook that contained notes about Alice. He consumed it fast, like he was deprived of food for years.
He saw the man staring at him in horror, "Just being careful..," he said through a mouth full of paper. Then he swallowed it down, smiling and licking the tips of his fingers like there were paper crumbs on it, "We wouldn't want that information to get into the wrong hands, would we?"
"…No, we wouldn't" the man wrinkled his nose in disgust, "I suppose I'll be off then."
"Thank you for your assistance," Break said as he held the bedroom door open for him, "You're welcome. I left my number with Lady Sharon if you find that you need anything more."
As the man walked down the hall, Break gave Sharon a quick "Psst" and when she looked over, Break nodded toward the man who was half way down the hall and getting ready to walk down the stairs. She caught the hint.
Within seconds there was wispy black smoke creeping down the hall, until it took a small dive into the floor behind the man and disappeared.
-::::::::-
Break continued to look out the window, hands behind his back as he focused on his thoughts. The room was quiet, save for the occasional painful sigh that Alice would give off as a response to Sharon's actions. But it was obvious that the girl was still asleep.
The strawberry blond made a tisk sound with her mouth as she continued to apply the serum to Alice's back, "The poor dear…she's been through so much lately."
Break made a sound of agreement before his mind traveled back to his previous thoughts. He started to think about the concept of Alice's "humanness" and what it really meant. He felt like he went over it in his mind a thousand times before, but he still ran down the facts.
The girl had a heart beat, ate food, could bleed from wounds…but she still could feel the presences of chain power, and get overwhelmed by it.
Also, and on a more personal level, Break had been given the blessed opportunity to watch her body respond in the most "human" of ways…blushing was certainly one of them. And the others, well….that was between him and Alice. But it was still relevant.
Because if she wasn't somewhat human, all of those 'responses' would have been absent; emotionally and physically.
"Miss Sharon?"
"Yes?"
"Just out of curiosity...how human do you think Alice is?"
"I'd like to believe that she's no different then anyone else. But most likely, she falls somewhere in the middle. Why do you ask?"
"Between you and I…I think she's becoming more human as time passes. The longer she stays in that form the more concrete it becomes."
"How long do you think it will be until she becomes fully human again?"
"I'm not sure, but when that day comes…the contract between her and Oz should naturally break itself, since her chain status would be void. The real question would be how we speed up that process."
"…Who knows," she sighed, "It could be as simple as allowing her to have more human experiences…and limiting her chain experiences as much as possible."
XXX
It was afternoon by the time they rode into Perretta, it took them approximately five and a half days to get to the small town, and they were finally there. They didn't need to ask more than one person about where the Ministry was, and when they did the person gave them a strange look before they cautiously pointed them in the right direction. With the way the woman looked at them when Gilbert asked, someone would swear he had just asked her where the lion pit was.
It gave the man a bad feeling.
When they arrived at the vast stone building Oz climb down from the driver's seat with Gilbert, both of them looking over the place with searching eyes; eyes that wondered what was in such a structure. There was a bell tower at the top and a tall black fence that surrounded the building. It could have been mistaken as a church if one didn't know any better. It was peaceful there, with its lush green lawn and its cobble stone path way, trees scattered around it; vines winding up the gray stone walls like green ribbons.
It wasn't long before they finally saw someone come outside. It was a girl who looked like she was no older than 16. Her light blond hair hung messily on her shoulders and her feet were bare, but still she stumbled onto the lawn and began to spin...and spin...and spin.
They both watched her collapse and get back up, arms flaring out as she looked at the sky and began twirling again, like it was the best fun she had ever had. They slowly walked toward the gates but neither opened them, and the only time they stopped watching the girl was when a woman hurried out of the building and grabbed her arm. The woman was dressed in a dark blue gown, hair tied up in the back and voice stern but kind as she escorted the girl back inside. The woman caught a glimpse of them as she began to shut the doors again, and finally walked up to the gates.
"Hello," she said kindly, "Which one of you has the sin?"
Oz was caught off guard by the question.
"A sin?"
The woman nodded and waited patiently. According to his father he had a sin...but not one he knew of directly.
"Neither of us," he said.
"We'll see," she opened the gate for them, "Do come in."
Oz and Gilbert looked at each other briefly before entering the gates and following the woman to the door.
-:::::::-
The woman left them sitting on a bench in front of an office space with a closed door. As they looked around they examined the long dreary hallway they were in. They kept hearing odd noises but could never see the source. There were multiple doors that lined the walls of the long hall and a set of stairs at the far end of the left side of the hall way…a dark staircase, in fact.
Oz looked down at the black and white floor, stomach turning at the checkered design that unfortunately reminded him of the Abyss.
When the woman came back, she had a clipboard in her hand and gave it to Gilbert.
"Here at the Ministry, we take pride in helping the troubled overcome internal difficulties that they face. We believe that most behaviorally troubled people become that way as a result of sinful behavior, if not by their own doing then on the part of a close family member. Bad spiritual energy, illness, and possession are all repercussions of bad choices. But we work hard to alleviate the results and also work with families to help prevent the sin from happening again. So, if you don't mind filling out that paper-"
"What if there is no sin?" Gilbert asked.
"There's always a sin. Even if you don't know it now, we'll work with you both to figure out the solution. But for now, would you mind filling out that paper. Father Denise will need to refer to that when you go in to meet with him. He'll be out shortly," the woman walked away.
"What does it say?" Oz asked.
"It's just a list of symptoms. I guess I'm supposed to circle all the ones that happened" he watched Oz look at the paper with a discouraging look "…do you want to fill it out?" the raven asked.
"No…I think it's better if you do..."
Gilbert nodded, and as he circled different things on the page Oz spoke up again, "Gil...I don't think we should tell them everything."
"I wasn't planning to. I'm going to leave the parts about Pandora and the Abyss out of it. That would only give them a reason to think we're part of some hell worshiping cult or something."
Oz laughed, "…Tell me about it," he agreed.
-:::::::::-
Soon, they were in a bland office. Nothing but a desk and a bookcase furnished it; not to mention the man behind the desk and the two chairs that they were sitting in. The man was large, husky and tall; towering over the small desk even while he was sitting. As he looked over the paper Gilbert gave him, Oz was able to look the man over. He was almost completely bald, wearing a black suit. He wore glasses that were way too small for his long face.
"So you believe this boy is possessed?" the man asked.
"Yes…partially. Or rather…at times he is. It's complicated," Gilbert said, struggling a little to describe it.
The man looked at Oz, "It says here that you've been experiencing blackouts, memory lapses, sorrowful behavior, excessive sleep, violent behavior, personality shifts, crying spells, and a lack of apatite, one attempted assault, and a suicide attempt. Is there anything else?" Oz shook his head, wanting to cringe at the words he just heard about himself.
"Why don't you give me some history around this situation" the man said to Gilbert.
"Well um.." Gilbert swallowed hard before he began "Oz has an ancestor named Jack. One hundred years ago he was in love with a girl named Alice, but he was never able to be with her because he was killed. A few years ago there was a girl that Oz met and she looked very similar to the girl that Jack used to be in love with, and ever since then we've seen Oz struggle with trying to control Jack's feelings for her."
"May I ask a few questions?" the man asked
Gilbert nodded.
"Could it be that Oz is in love with this new girl, and that those feelings have nothing to do with his deceased ancestor?"
"I'm not in love with her," Oz said abruptly, almost lifting out of his seat "…I have feelings for someone else."
As soon as the words left his mouth he could practically feel Gilbert's efforts to suppress his blush and keep it from giving them away. If it were a life or death situation, their chances of survival would be extremely low since the raven was such a dead give away. If it wasn't a blush then it was a tense body posture and eyes that shifted down in bashfulness. And on a really bad day, it was all three- not to forget the adorable stammering that followed if he was asked a question. Oz hoped the man didn't see any of that though.
"How do you know that there is a resemblance between Alice and this new girl if she was alive so long ago? Cameras weren't around back then."
"There's a portrait in our attic that has a picture of her and Jack," the raven cut in.
"If it's Ok with you, I'd like to have a word with your..err..um-"
"Brother. Gil's my brother." He watched the man look at them both trying to find a commonality in their features.
"We have different mothers," the blond said quickly, attempting to remove the man's doubt, sliding Gilbert a look that said "Just play along."
Oz got up and walked to the door, "I'll be outside, Gil."
His lover nodded at him as Gilbert watched Oz walk out of the room and close the door. Gilbert turned his sun colored eyes back on the large man behind the desk. The man was in the middle of looking in his desk draw and then pulled out a few pieces of paper and pushed them toward Gilbert. The raven noticed that the man had a smile on his face, almost like a mask that was hiding something...
"Before we're able to go any further with this case, I'd just like you to fill out some forms," he said, smile never fading as he watch Gilbert look down at them.
"Forms...why?"
"We like to have a written agreement from the caretaker that they allow us to conduct an observation."
Gilbert's brow mashed slightly, "He doesn't need an observation, he need's someone who can draw the man out of him," his voice was stern with borderline annoyance, it seemed as though the man behind the desk had not been listening throughout their whole explanation of what was happening.
His smile flattened, "Yes, I understand, but we can't move to that step without knowing what the best method would be, and only through observing him will we be able to determine that."
"How long will it take?" Gilbert asked with impatience.
"We usually keep a client for three days before we begin the cleansing process."
Cleansing? "Three days..." he said emptily as he looked back at the papers, he read the first few lines of the first page.
I_,hereby grant permission to the Ministry of Freedom to take the appropriate measures in securing the safety of _ Thus, removing the impending hazard he/she is to himself and others. I understand that by signing this contract I am giving up the rights to act as the current guardian/spouse/caretaker/ kin in any and all decisions made until the client is deemed fit to return back to society.
"And you're sure that he'll be...you know..."
"Cured? Quite sure. There haven't been many cases where we fail to find the root of the problem and take care of it."
"I want to talk this over with Oz first."
"That's understandable. But I would actually advise against it."
"I can't just sign this agreement without consulting him first."
"Well, the term 'observation' may cause him distress, and if he is being possessed, we run the risk of evoking the negative force within him. In all my years of experience I've seen many families leave here simply because the person in question refused our help, and they all later regretted it. Homicides, suicides...you name it, and its happened; all because they didn't take the situation seriously."
The pen trembled in his hand as he held it to the paper, and after a minute he placed the pen on the desk.
"I'm sorry, but I need to have some time to think it over."
"I know how difficult this may be for you, but...the longer you hesitate to make an important decision like this the longer he will suffer under the circumstances...do you want him to suffer?" the man asked him with sincerity almost as if he was waiting for Gilbert to say "yes damn it, I want to watch him suffer."
But Gilbert did not, and without so much of a half breath Gilbert singed his signature and before the pen could fully leave the paper the man whisk the paper away from him and smiled widely.
"You made the right choice. Oz will be in good hands. Please come this way."
Gilbert didn't know why but he felt as though he made a big mistake, like he wanted to take the papers back from the man and rip them up.
"Would you be so kind as to wait here a moment while I fetch one of our attendants, she'll be able to show you to the room and further explain our policy."
"So what happened?" Oz asked.
"He said he wants us to stay here for a few days so they can observe you..."
"Oh," Oz said thoughtfully, trying to ignore the mysterious person attempting to play a game of 'peek a boo' with him by constantly peeking at him and hiding behind the door again. "How long are we staying?
"Three days."
"Three days...I can handle that."
The woman from before interrupted their conversation, "I'm not sure if I told you, but you can call me Sister Levinya. I'm happy that you're allowing us to help cleanse you, Oz. Please follow me and I'll take you to your room."
They got up and followed her down the long hall.
"So which room are we staying in?" Oz asked as he looked into each room as he passed by. He only got a glimpse inside of the ones with open doors but each person seemed really off...one guy even manipulated his hand into a gun shape and pointed it at him.
"Actually, it will only be you staying here."
"What? That was never mentioned-" Gilbert started, anxiety clearly in his abrupt voice.
"Rest assured, there's an inn across the road that many of our client's families stay at during the duration of their time here. You can even see it from the window in your room, Oz."
Gilbert tried to cut in again, "But-"
"And during the three days you can visit him as much as you like- as long as it's between the hours of 12:30pm and 2:30pm."
"That's it?" the raven said with dissatisfaction and disgust, "I can't see him any other time?"
"Well… there are exceptions in extreme cases, but- Oh! Here we are. This is your room Oz."
They both looked inside instantly seeing a boy no older than fourteen sitting on the bed with his binoculars around his neck. He had jet black hair and wore clothes that were three sizes too small.
"Billy, this Oz, he'll be sharing the room with you for a few days."
"Hehehe, hi Oz, my name's Billy, I like crackers and I have a pet frog at home, hehe," he said extremely fast before he covered his mouth with his hand and giggled.
"H-hi..."Oz said awkwardly, nearly speechless. Gilbert just kept shaking his head like he couldn't believe what was happening.
"I'll let you two get acquainted, and you sir, you can help Oz get settled."
"Wait! I have a couple of concerns," Gilbert said to Sister Levinya, "For one-"
"Please submit all concerns to the front office and we will let the committee review them…in the order in which they are received. Thank you," she smirked and walked away leaving the man thunderstruck.
-::::::::-
Outside, Gilbert and Oz stood near the carriage, and as Oz watched Gilbert go in to get his luggage, he saw the man pause and then climb out empty handed. The man's hands balled softly at his sides as he looked down and spoke to the boy.
"Oz...I don't like this place, I think we should leave."
Oz looked around, mouth in a distinct frown as he nodded in slight agreement with his servant, "I know, it's weird here...I felt it too. But we'll never know if they can help us if we don't stay."
Gilbert shook his head, ready to throw the boy into the carriage and get moving. The pad of his thumb played with the gold ring nervously as he tried to convince the boy otherwise.
"What if you don't need help anymore…?"
"What do you mean?"
"You've gotten so much better since that night at the inn...what if all you really needed was a break from the estate, and to get away from Alice for awhile."
"Gil-"
The man stepped closer to him and took his shoulders gently, backing him up against the carriage, the intense desperation in his eyes matched his tone, and Oz found himself at a lose of words, not to mention that he lost track of how quickly his passionate heart was beating.
"I'm serious, Oz. We don't even have to go back home yet, we can keep traveling for as long as you want...as long as it takes for Jack's feelings to die out. I'll call your uncle and tell him we decided to do some more traveling so he won't worry."
"I..."
"Oz...I'll take you wherever you want, no matter where it is. Just not here."
Oz searched his eyes, debating with himself to find out what would be best. It sounded so good to just be free and explore with Gilbert by his side. It would be refreshing and incredible, unforgettable even. But there was one thing that was even more important than that.
"I want to do this, Gil. I have to..."
"Why, Oz?" he said sounding confused and broken.
"Because...I want you to have all of me, and not just sometimes. And if that means staying here for awhile so that they can get rid of Jack for good...then I'm willing to do it."
He watched the man shake his head and turn his eyes away, grip loosening on his shoulders, until they slipped away in defeat. He could see the regret in Gilbert face and the angst coursing through him. It finally dawned on Oz that Gilbert was probably willing to sacrifice his own desire for Jack to be gone for good, just for the reassurance that Oz was with him at all times...even if it brought Gilbert more pain in the process.
"Gil...look at me," he saw the man blatantly resisting the command but Oz reached up and held is cheeks anyway, shifting his face slightly so that he was able to see the glistening of Gilbert's now glassy eyes.
"This whole time you've helped me through this, even when I didn't deserve it. And the sad part is...you've probably been suffering more than me, and yet, I've done nothing to stop it."
"Oz-"
"I know what you're going to say, that you're happy just being with me, right?" Gilbert gave a light nod, "Well I'm not happy with that unless you're only with me...and not me and Jack. You deserve better than that," he caressed the man's cheek, "So, let's see if they can help us. And if they can't we'll go to someone else when they say there's nothing they can do for me."
Gilbert swallowed back his bubbling emotions and nodded into the boy's hands, taking a deep breath before he went back into the carriage and got out the luggage.
-::::::::-
Gilbert helped Oz unpack some of his things in the room. They both tried to ignore Billy who was laughing off and on for no reason as he watched them; constantly trying to hide his face in his hands and peek at them between his fingers. Oz made sure to put the teddy bear that Gilbert won for him on the bed along with the playing cards. They sat down together and played a quick card game, blocking out the constant laughter from the other bed. Oz was just on the verge of winning before the woman came in and ruined everything. Oz could feel his heart squeezing; it was time for Gilbert to go.
Gilbert stood up to speak to the woman, "When can I bring him his dinner?"
"I'm sorry; we don't allow families to bring food here. Every meal is provided."
"What if he doesn't like the food you make, is he supposed to starve?"
"We won't know if he likes the food until he tries it," she said back with undertones of contempt.
"Oz is very particular about the food he eats, I don't think-"
"I don't think you'll have anything to worry about. The reason why we enforce that rule is so we can prompt a sense of equally among our clients. We want everyone here to know that this space is mutual and caters to everyone's needs, and not just to the affluent,"
Gilbert sighed in defeat and gave up, watching the woman give him a phony smile as she stepped out of his way and attempted to lead him out the room. Before he left, he felt Oz grab the back of his black overcoat. The raven walked back over to the boy, leaning down and embracing him fully. He hid a quick kiss behind the boy's ear, before he ruffled his blond hair in a "brotherly" way and forced himself to leave as if he accepted everything…when he really didn't.
-:::::::::-
Gilbert felt empty as he got into the carriage and lead the horse a little ways down the street; parking the carriage in front of the inn. The feeling in his body was like the feeling people got when they knew they were leaving something behind, but they couldn't remember what it was. Although, this feeling was more intense and he knew exactly what he had forgotten…or better yet, whom.
He looked back at the building briefly, spotting Oz's "bedroom" window, before he turned and walked up the two steps that led to the front door of the inn. The door was open so he walked into the main room, seeing the desk right away and the man behind it who was older with graying hair and large brown eyes.
"Good day to you sir, would you like a room?"
"Yes."
"How many days?"
"Three, please."
The man wrote something down on a slip of paper, and Gilbert looked over when he noticed a young woman coming down the stairs. She looked like she was in her 20's and had light red hair. She smiled at him shyly and blushed, before she made her way behind the counter.
"You wouldn't happen to be dropping someone off over there...are you?" the man said as he nodded toward the Ministry. Gilbert nodded hesitantly.
"Better book the room for four nights then...they never usually finish with people in three days."
"But they told me-"
"They told you what they tell everybody… 'three days' heh. But no one ever comes out that quick. More like three weeks," the man chuckled as he reached behind him and grabbed a key off the wall.
When the man saw the disheartened look on Gilbert's face, he tried to set the man at ease.
"But then again, each case is different I guess. It could very well be three days this time. Anyhow, it's good to see a fresh face around here. It gets pretty lonely in this part of town; Ann here can barely find anyone her age to socialize with."
Gilbert didn't respond to the man; instead he looked over at Ann before he paid the man. The man handed him the key and explained to him that all three meals were include in his stay there and that he was welcomed to eat with the family. Gilbert finally said thank you and left the two of them behind the desk as he proceeded to go up the stairs to find his room.
:::::
"I can see that you took a liking to him already."
"Is it that obvious, father?"
"Ha, it always is. I don't know about this guy though….He's dense."
"Yes, but he's so hansom...I wonder where he's from."
"With the way the Ministry works...you might have plenty of time to find out," he laughed, "God bless that Ministry though…without them we wouldn't make enough money for a loaf of bread, "he chuckled.
-:::::::::-
Gilbert was afraid of sitting still, because stillness meant he wasn't being productive. To him, stillness was allotted only when he was in the presents of Oz, and appreciating the feeling of being close to him. Idle, that's how he felt, and uselessness was weaving into his subconscious as he sat there and looked out the window at the building across the road.
Sometimes he would try to make himself believe that Oz was sitting in the window and that he could make out a glimpse of the boy's soft blond hair as he looked toward the inn that Gilbert was in. And other times, Gilbert played the words in his head that Oz had left him with, "I want to do this, Gil. I want you to have all of me...and not just sometimes."
A knock at the door pulled Gilbert from his thoughts; he looked at it in a slight daze before he got up to open it.
"Yes?" he eyed the young woman with the red hair as she stood at the door with a tray of tea and croissants.
"I thought you might have been hungry. Dinner won't be ready for a few hours...so..."
"Thanks," Gilbert said quietly as he took the tray from her and tried to close the door again.
"I don't mean to be nosy, but, I was wondering if your wife may be in the Ministry. You seemed really sad earlier and-"
"My wife?...Um, no...Not exactly."
"May I ask who, then?"
Gilbert looked at her as he thought it over. He could take his pick of 'roles' that he was going to assign to his description of Oz. He could have told her that Oz was his master, his best friend, his lover, his 'fiancée'…but in the end, Oz was his everything, and that would be something that she wouldn't understand. Then again, it wasn't any of her business and he didn't owe her any explanation.
"I don't really want to talk about it..." he said finally, extracting a mixture of sadness and embarrassment from her.
"Oh, I understand. Forgive me for prying," she said uneasily, no longer able to look him in the eyes, "Your horse is in the back stable, we tend to them free of charge."
Gilbert nodded in acknowledgment then closed the door lightly.
OOO
She knew why she was crying. Her whimpers ran through the room that was now hazed by the fading light outside. The sun was losing its power to the night…weakening, and leavening her in a dusk colored room alone. It always seemed like when things were going well for her something always got in the way…always. And now, it wasn't something she could actually challenge or fight…it was something she simply had to deal with. She didn't want to be like the "beast" that Rufus said she was; someone who couldn't deal with the idea of loneliness.
She dealt with it for what seemed like centuries, but everyone had a breaking point, didn't they? Everyone had a moment that would finally tip the scales for them and render them unable to keep fighting against their true feelings…strength wasn't eternal, nor was it constant with every situation. The fading sun outside was a perfect example of that.
As she shifted up into the bed and sat against the pillows, she noticed the pain in her back was nearly gone, she was glad about that at least. She remembered waking up throughout the day; back in excruciating pain, like it was sucking the life right out of her body. But now it was merely a faint tingle that remained to keep reminding her of that night.
The only thing she could clearly remember was the conversation between Break and Rufus…and how the man she loved would now have to leave her every single day…with the exception of one. Three tears fell on the blankets in her lap before she even felt them accumulate in her eyes. An unrestrained sob left her quivering voice box, and the sad part was that none of it even happened yet; Break was still somewhere in the house (at least she assumed he was), it wasn't like she was already without him.
But she was still sobbing like he was already gone. She didn't want to be an obstacle for him, or make him feel bad about taking the position at Pandora. Even before the position came to be, Break was usually a busy man. He had important things to do…for himself and Pandora, not forgetting his duties to the Rainsworth mansion.
How could she even dream of coming between all that?
A knock at the door interrupted a bed shaking sob that was building in her throat and Alice's heart beat sped up from fear of being caught crying like that. She quickly threw the covers over her head and curled up with her back away from the door. Wiping her tears away as she hid under the blankets and made pretend she was sleeping.
"Alice?" Break's voice was soft, concern wrapping around every syllable of her name. She didn't answer though.
Before long she heard the squeaking wheels of a cart being pushed into the room. The bed sunk under his weight as he sat on the edge of it. She swallowed hard before she forced her acting skills to surface. With a big yawn, she stretched her arms and came up from under the covers; squinting her eyes to fake tiredness.
"It's already dinner time?" she said sleepily, as she looked at the dinner cart and rubbed her eyes, "I can't believe I slept the whole day."
"I don't believe it either, that's why you should stop acting like you just woke up," he said knowingly, he pushed her hair behind her ear, receiving a frown from her. His voice became more serious with his next words, "I could hear you crying when I came up the stairs," his red orb began to search her purple ones, but she looked away.
Alice wasn't giving up yet, she would make him believe otherwise. She reached her hands up to his cheeks and turned his head from side to side, pushing his white hair out of the way so she could see his ears.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Checking to see if your ears are blocked, I think you're starting to hear things," when she didn't find anything she let his face go and shrugged hopelessly "I don't see anything. I guess its just old age catching up to you," she fake a yawn again and tried to roll over on her side, but he caught her arm and prevented her from turning over.
"What?" she asked. The look that he was giving her made her glad they weren't enemies, because the man looked as if he'd choke her for her comment. "Look..." she sighed, "There's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to everybody eventually. I promise to start speaking up if you can't hear me."
"There's no need for that," he said curtly, "I can hear you just fine. Actually, I can hear you so well, that I can pick up on what you're really trying to say even when you're telling me nonsense," he moved to whisper in her ear, "…Like right now." She swallowed hard and clutched the bed sheets, "So…are you ready to talk about this now?" she nodded against his cheek, and he moved back to listen. She finally gave in and told the 'truth.'
"…I was crying because…my back was hurting."
"I see…" he moved back a little more, "Do you mind if I take a look?" he asked, testing her.
Her eyes widened in panic. If she said 'no', she couldn't keep up her act. So she nodded and turned around for him. She felt him unbutton the back of her nightgown and slid it down her shoulders until it piled around her waist. She felt him press softly on a few spots on her back and each time she faked an "Ow" sound.
"Does this hurt?" he asked her, and when she didn't feel anything she quickly wondered if her back went numb. "um, yeah. That hurts too," she said, trying to play it safe.
He started buttoning her nightgown again, "That's strange…," he said in wonderment "I didn't even touch you that time."
Damn him…he tricked me!
She didn't turn around to face him; instead she hung her head low, and accepted that she was found out. Plan defeated before she even had a small victory. He knew from the start that she had lied, and there was no way to hide the truth anymore. After a moment, she felt his lips on the base of her neck kissing her gently, and speaking through each kiss.
"I'm going to do my best to wrap up the research in a few weeks. And then I'm going to resign."
Four tears fell, bangs covering her eyes and voice strained, "Don't tell me that. I want you to do what you have to do…even if it takes a long time. I can deal with it."
"I know you can. It's me that can't take it," he said truly, "If I could…I wouldn't have dragged you to headquarters last night. I love having you with me, Alice."
She lifted her head a little, feeling his hand caress her back with soothing touches, "I'm going to find a way around this…because I'll lose my mind if I don't," he said quietly.
She finally allowed herself to face him, arms enveloping his neck, tears finally flowing fully as she wept into his shoulder. He didn't attempt quiet her; he just provided comfort and rubbed her back, patting her long brown hair every few minutes.
After ten minutes she settled and sniffled a few times before she spoke,
"Break?"
"hum?"
"It's too late for that…"
"For what?" he asked with concern.
"…You already lost your mind."
The man sighed and pulled away from her, he saw her suppress a giggle behind her fingers, watery eyes lighting up when he cupped her face in his hands, wiping the last tear away.
He chuckled and pecked her lips, "You're lucky I love you so much…" he saw the shock run through her expression, mind trying to register the three words he just said.
"...because if I didn't, I wouldn't let you get away with talking to me the way you do," And with that, his lips were captured by her excited ones, both of them steadily falling backward onto the bed as the sound of warm kisses filled the room.
A lonely dinner cart rested forgotten in the corner… as much as the setting sun seemed forgotten by the sky.
XXX
It was a weird day for Oz, one where he found himself gazing off in thought as he stared out the window; eyes on the inn across the road. He was bored in that small room. And sitting across from Billy wasn't helping...it just made him uncomfortable. Naturally, he thought if he got to know the odd boy that it would loosen the tension he was feeling.
"So...Bill-"
"Yeah?" the boy said excitedly before he covered his mouth and giggled.
Oz paused at the boy's reaction before he continued, "How many days have you been here?"
"Four hundred sixty two days, seven hours, eleven minutes, and forty eight seconds."
The blond frowned, not expecting an answer like that. Then it hit him...Billy was there way over "a few days" like the man said most people were.
"I thought people only stay here for a little while; like a week," Oz asked, becoming wary of how truthful the odd boy was actually being. He could be lying…
"hehehe they tell everybody that. But if you don't get rid of your sin, your family makes you stay here, forever. heheheheh"
Oz's brow knitted lightly in concern, "That's horrible. Does your family come and visit?"
"Every thirty two days. And when they come they always say 'Billy if you don't try harder you'll be put on the second floor and we won't be able to see you anymore," he said sternly, maybe trying to mimic his father's voice.
"What's wrong with the second floor?" Oz grabbed his teddy bear and shifted back on the bed, folding his legs like a bow.
" hehe That's where they keep the 'incurables.' I snuck up there once to see for myself and I saw the terrible things they do to them," he laughed, making Oz move uncomfortably at the boy's inappropriate reaction to his own words.
"What type of things did you see?"
"Well..." Billy looked up at the ceiling in thought, throwing his head back a lot farther than necessary.
While Oz waited patiently for his answer there was a loud knock at the door before it opened, revealing Sister Levinya who was smiling.
"Its dinner time, boys."
Oz watched Billy get up excitedly, leaving him on the bed still waiting for the answer that would never come. Before Oz got up he glanced out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of Gilbert outside the inn, but there was no one out there, just the quiet and the setting sun.
-:::::::::-
The night was chilly, and Oz could tell that autumn was coming sooner than he expected. He curled up in the unfamiliar blankets with the teddy bear that Gil had won him and tried to make sleep come to him, but his growling stomach prevented him from feeling able to find comfort. Its not that there wasn't food at the Ministry, the food just wasn't edible to him. Stale bread and cold goopy soup constituted a stomach ache that was not worth acquiring just to reduce his hunger pains.
What made sleep really impossible, was that all he could think about was what Gilbert was doing, and how he wished the man could lay beside him. Hold him.
It was an hour later when there was a light clank on the window glass. Oz rolled over and waited for it to happen again before he got up out of his bed.
He barely had to look out the window to have the word escape his lips, "Gil!" Oz said in a loud whisper, happy as ever.
Before he really thought about it, he was already opening the window quietly, and looking back to make sure Billy was still asleep in the opposite bed. Then he put one leg through, and then the other, watching Gilbert's dark figure get ready to help him down. It wasn't really necessary since the window was close to the ground.
Once the boy's feet touched the cold grass he looked up at the man as Gilbert step away slightly, trying to get a good look at the boy.
"Hey" the boy greeted with a smile, though it was probably hidden by the dark.
"Did I wake you?"
"No, I was still up."
"How is it in there? Are they treating you Ok? Have they feed you?" he asked urgently, ready to charge in there if the answer was less than absolutely positive.
"It's fine…and the food's not bad," he lied, the food was terrible. He didn't even touch his dinner. But he wasn't going to tell Gilbert that.
"I'm glad you came tonight. It's hard to sleep without you with me."
"Same here," the raven said the words through a thankful sigh, as if he was grateful that he wasn't alone in the struggle, "Has your chest been bothering you?"
"...It's achy, but manageable. Billy's snoring is more annoying than the pain is," he joked.
After a long pause Gilbert spoke, "It's still not too late to leave, Oz," he mentioned quietly.
"I know…"
They stood in silence for a moment. Oz could see the hopeless body language the man was displaying. "Come here," Oz motioned for the man to step closer. When he did Oz wrapped his arms around Gilbert's mid section, feeling the man relax as he returned the embrace, he kissed the top of the boy's head mumbling "I missed you" into his blond hair. Before long, their lips connected in a small kiss. One that they did not anticipate would become desperate and needy.
The sound of harsh breaths could be heard as they both stood there and devoured each others lips, tongues slowly looking for entrance into the others mouth and Gilbert slowly and fully claiming Oz's warm appendage. If the kiss could be translated into a phrase, it would have said, I can't stand this situation or why is it like this? Yes, the kiss was one of frustration, confusion, and longing; all of which couldn't properly be addressed given the location, time, and circumstance. But their actions proved that they were still trying anyway.
Oz didn't know when the man had managed to pin him against the stone wall, nor did he notice that his knee was entangled between Gilbert's. And he also wasn't sure of when the raven's cold hands made their way up his night shirt; caressing his stomach. The only thing that entered his mind was the guilty thought that he had teased Gilbert's body way too much in the last couple of days…and that was probably why he was pinned against the wall at that moment, and getting felt up by strong hands. It was a rush, though, one that he was entirely enjoying. All of those things entered his senses but left his conscious until he heard a rustling noise coming from above them.
They both broke the kiss and looked up toward the window, hearts racing from what they were just doing as opposed to being afraid that someone had caught them.
"Maybe I should get back in there," the blond said breathlessly as he looked back at his disappointed servant.
Gilbert just nodded in response, blushing fully when he had to take his hands out from underneath the boy's night shirt. He wasn't that surprised that he allowed himself to get that carried away, Oz usually had that affect on him….especially with all the unfulfilled sensual tension that had built up between them over the last week.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he said to the boy.
"Ok. Don't be late." the boy said in a whisper.
"I won't," Oz kissed the man's cheek and then turned and placed his hands on the window sill ready to jump up into it, but Gilbert helped him up.
"Try and get some sleep," Gilbert said as Oz secured himself in the room.
"You too." Oz whispered, before he reluctantly closed the window. He watched the man stand there before he began his departure back across the road and into the inn.
XXX
As slow and boring as time seemed to be, Oz was happy that he was not dwelling on the slow pace of the day. So far the highlights of the day only occurred when he would hear screaming echoing from down the hall and the sound of footsteps running to the source. It startled him when he heard such shrills, because he was never expecting it. And what made it more unnerving was the way Billy would giggle nervously every time that it happened.
Oz found it odd that they had two hours of morning "Quiet Time." A woman came in the rooms to ensure silence and hand them a cup of water to drink. When Oz told her he wasn't thirsty, she shook her head and placed her finger to her lips to remind him to be quiet. Then she pushed the cup toward him.
He drank it, and after she left he whispered to Billy and asked the boy about the water. The boy explained and said, "An old man blesses it early in the morning, to help clean out the negative forces in our body." He even told Oz that some people had "horrible reactions" to it, causing them to scream and thrash around. Oz tried not to think about it…hoping he'd never be one of those people.
-:::::::::-
It was lunch time. Oz was sent back to the large dinning room that had three long wooden tables and enough space to hold sixty people. It was dingy in there. What bothered Oz the most was that the windows were dusty.
He sat at the end of the table closest to the wall and waited for the woman to come over with the bucket of cold corn meal slop...just like at breakfast. As she walked down each aisle he watched people cling to her dress as she passed and she'd smack their hand away while balancing the big pot between her other arm and the tilt of her hip. There was one man that would get up every few minutes and then sit back down, and a young boy who wouldn't sit down at all - he'd waltz down each aisle, one hand pressed to his chest and the other one held out; humming a tune like he was at a ball.
Oz tried to occupy his mind by giving people mental nick names, like "SS" for the man who would sit then stand ever three seconds. He named the dancing boy "Oblivious" since he clearly didn't realize where he was.
The dinning room doors opened and the first thing Oz saw was Gilbert...among some other people. Oz stood up so quickly that his chair fell over, and the smile on his face was bright enough to keep the room illuminated for several days.
"Gil! Over here," he said, waving the man down.
The man's yellow eyes meet his and Gilbert made his way over to the boy, ignoring the waltzing youth that he almost bumped into. There was no pause present between the walk over to Oz and the embrace that he gave the boy as soon as he got to him.
"You're here right at twelve thirty," Oz noted.
"I've been here since eleven but they wouldn't let me in, so I waited outside."
"Really?"
Gilbert nodded, and before Oz could comment again he felt the vibration of Gilbert's booming voice, "HEY!" he yelled over Oz's shoulder, "Put that back!" Oz spun around only to find "Oblivious" twirling away with his bread. He was doing pirouettes and who knows what else as he pranced away, unfazed by the enraged raven at his side.
"You thief, that isn't yours!" the raven barked out.
"It's OK, Gil. I don't think he understands," Oz said, trying to calm down his lover.
"Don't make excuses for him. He knows exactly what he's doing," to prove his point even more they both saw the boy stop and look at them before he placed the bread delicately in his mouth, closed his eyes, all while bending his knees and giving his hips a little shake of victory.
"See." he said to the blond, "This is unbelievable, what kind of place are they running here?"
Before Oz could even try to answer the question, Gilbert took his hand and began to walk with him, "Where are we going?" Oz asked as he half noticed that he was one out of three people who actually had a visitor.
"Outside for some air," Gilbert said lowly, almost as if he had to hide that from anyone who was listening.
When they reached the door the woman standing there blocked the exit.
"Excuse me," Gilbert said threateningly when she didn't move.
"May I ask where you're taking him?"
"We're going outside for a few minutes. Is that a problem?" he responded.
Oz could see the intense look that Gilbert was giving her. The woman looked away, making it clear that she felt intimated by him.
"No, it's not a problem. But he has to be back by-"
"2:30. I know," the raven said, cutting her off.
"And he's not allowed to leave the grounds" she added.
"Fine," Gilbert said as he pushed past her and escaped to the other side of the door with Oz.
Oz looked back quickly to see if she was still watching them walk away, and she was. He soon saw another woman walk up to her and whisper something, but Oz was half way out the front door with Gilbert before he could get a sense of whether or not they were talking about them.
Once they reached the outside Oz saw Gilbert huff and his shoulders sank in relaxation, like he had been holding his breath the whole time.
"Damn, they're strict," Oz said under his breath as he followed Gilbert to a near by tree. When he watched the man sit down he also saw that there was a paper bag beside him.
"What's that?" Oz said as he sat next to his companion.
"Your lunch."
"You got me lunch?" Oz asked in amazement.
"Shush." Gilbert looked around cautiously, "I had to hide it out here; I couldn't risk trying to bring it in."
"Thanks for bringing it for me…but why did you get so upset about the bread if you had food already out here?" the boy asked as he opened the bag. His eyes lit up when he found two chicken sandwiches and a smaller bag of strawberries.
"It's not about the bread; it's the principle of the situation. People shouldn't be allowed to get away with stuff like that…I don't care how many 'sins' they have, - why are you laughing?"
"You're really cute when you get upset for me," the boy laughed, watching Gilbert crossly turn away in a useless attempt to hide his embarrassment.
In no time Oz was on his second sandwich, he was famished. Skipping dinner and breakfast was making him scoff down the tasty meal in front of him like he had been chained up and deprived for weeks.
"You haven't been eating, have you?"
"I have. I'm just extra hungry today," the boy smiled, making crumbs fall away from his lips.
Gilbert wiped the remaining crumbs away from the boy's mouth, giving Oz an unconvinced look, "I don't believe you. I saw what they were feeding everyone today…it's garbage. I'm going to start bringing you breakfast and dinner too."
"How?" Oz asked.
"I'll pass it to you through the window," Gilbert closed his eyes and leaned against the tree, "I can't wait for these three days to be over," he mumbled.
"Yeah…you and me both," Oz said as he popped a strawberry into his mouth and watched an unfamiliar woman peer at them through the window of the inn, before she closed the curtain.
I really loved writing this chapter, I found myself laughing at a lot of parts (Don't ask LOL).
Yes Yes Brealice fans, the lemon is in the next chapter! I believe they're both ready now (but am I? LOL). * wipes brow and cracks knuckles preparing to type.* Next Chapter: Someone gets a little jealous, who is it? And why. Also...a wonderful reviewer made an excellent point a few chapters ago...what does Jack think right now...why haven't we heard directly from him...we will next chapter. Can anyone guess how?
I talk too much.
Thanks for reading
-Rage.
P.S we will soon be approaching my favorite part of the whole story the big SURPRISE, and the most important part (I'll tell you this, a certain set of fans may go crazy over this but which fans Ozbert or Brealice...? Pay attention, I've been totally dropping hints throughout the story) not for a few chapters though...I hope I can carry it out properly (gulp)