Author's Note: What do I do at 3:30 in the morning? Evidently write fan fiction because I can't sleep. Anyway, I'm sorry it's been such a long time since the last update, but I really appreciate the support you guys have shown me. This story is very close to ending and hopefully I'll be able to finish it before the year's close. Thanks again for all the feedback!
I just edited this chapter and I am still astounded by how horribly cheesy my writing is. I'm really sorry.
You Stole the Rain by HawkofNavarre
Chapter 13 – Answers
The conversation never really ended. Gray wasn't stupid enough to think that all was resolved just because his feelings were out in the open now. Still, at the very least, he and Juvia had come to an understanding. They really were similar when it came to protecting their teammates and he felt rather foolish that he had completely disregarded this fact. It hadn't even crossed his mind that he had ever almost gotten himself killed to save Juvia. It was a natural built-in instinct to take the lethal blow for her and it only occurred to him now, after Juvia herself pointed it out, that it was probably the same for her.
Well...he was done beating himself up now, and from the way Juvia confronted him, she was done with it too. Honestly, Gray hadn't expected her to actually go against what he'd said. He'd really thought that it was as simple as rejecting her to keep her away from him, but she somehow knew he was lying and called him out on it. Gray was a little in awe of it, in fact, and could shake the pride that was building in his chest. She hadn't listened to him, and she was going after what she wanted against his wishes for once. It made him happier than anything. He always knew that she was strong, but he'd forgotten just how strong. To think she would just follow his demands without a second thought had been arrogant, but it wasn't as if he'd been thinking clearly either.
If anything, he was just relieved that he didn't have to be a complete and utter asshole around her anymore. Although he hadn't seen her for a few days after he'd ordered her to stay away, the image of her crying face had plagued him nearly every moment, and there had been scarcely any way to rid his mind of that. There wasn't anyone else to blame for that, though. Feeling miserable came with the territory of doing something like that to someone he cared so much for, and he'd known that, but it didn't mean he couldn't appreciate the feeling of a weight off his chest now.
And yet...what else could he say to her? He'd fully admitted to being an idiot already, and apologized to her. Juvia seemed to accept both in full. The fact that she had hugged him meant he was forgiven, right? Plus, the tenderness in her voice couldn't have possibly meant that she was still angry, especially since she had followed it up by holding his hand and leaning against his shoulder, neither of them really minding the continued rain or the silence that ensued. He'd walked her home afterwards without a word, and she had left him at the entrance of Fairy Hills with a fairly mild hug.
Really, Gray wasn't even sure how one described a hug as mild. He was used to Juvia clinging to him all the time, so it was just strange to feel as though she was reluctant to hold on. She'd given him a hug after he had apologized as well, and that one hadn't felt mild. Maybe now that there were no secrets left, no emotions hidden for the other's "benefit", she simply wasn't sure where to go from her. Hell, now that he thought about it, where did they go from here?
The ice mage wondered how long he had been lying in his bed staring at the wall. Several minutes, at the very least. Maybe an hour or two. He glanced at the clock sitting on his nightstand. 2:47 AM. Okay, so not an hour or two, or even several minutes. It was more like three hours. The only consolation he could draw from this was that he didn't have a mission to head on tomorrow. Admittedly, he was thinking about Juvia a lot...or she was the only thing on his mind since he'd last seen her. At the moment, Gray was kicking himself for leaving their conversation so horribly open-ended, and he had been going over what he could've said or done differently the second she left his side.
He wasn't afraid to be her friend anymore—the thought couldn't be more foolish after the argument they'd had—but in that case, he was regretting the way he'd left things. Two things in particular were bothering him. The first was that it was still raining outside. He could hear it pattering against the windows and Gray had been entirely certain that it would stop when Juvia stopped feeling broken and depressed. It had been hours since their conversation and the skies still hadn't cleared up. Earlier, he had been hoping that it was just going to let up gradually, but the memory of the day he had met her pricked at him. The rain had stopped instantaneously, and this time, it showed no signs of stopping.
The other issue weighing on him was the same thing that had been bothering him for a long time now: he still hadn't given her a proper answer. Yes, Gray knew he had ended up rejecting her, but it was Juvia herself who had confronted him about said answer not being his. And it wasn't. He had an answer to her feelings, and while the opportunity to give her that had been ruined by assassin a few days ago, he had let it slip that he was in love with her. That wasn't good enough. You could love someone and not want to be with that person—and anyone could take his word for that, because he had tried that very recently and failed.
Gray just wanted to see her happy now. There was nothing holding him back anymore, and he knew more than anything that he needed her. It was pure agony spending the days knowing that he had shredded her heart and destroyed their relationship. The thought that he was protecting her was the only thing that got him through the days, but Juvia had come back like a firecracker to tear his logic apart. He'd just hurt her trying to do what he thought was the right thing, and what he'd done had been foolish. Every single member of Fairy Tail fought as hard as they could in order to keep living, to keep loving, and keep sharing their happiness. Juvia was no different. His faith in their partnership had been so strong that when they were placed in a situation where injury was unavoidable, that faith was completely shattered, and he had resorted to pushing her away. They were strong together, but they weren't invincible, just like Juvia had said. The only thing they could really do was fight hard for each other. He...hadn't meant for her to fight so hard for her life only to come back to his heartbreaking idiocy. Now that he'd had time to think about it, there was only one possible thing he could do to make up for it: give her a proper answer.
He really wanted to do it as soon as he could, but it was—Gray turned to look at the clock again—2:53 AM and probably not a polite or wise thing to knock on someone's door at three in the morning. Pretty much everyone he knew would likely beat the living shit out of him if he woke them up at this hour. Juvia probably wouldn't, but that still didn't give him a right to go waltzing down to her place in the middle of the night.
What right do you have?
None. Not one, but...
He wanted one.
Gray got up from his bed so quickly that he regretted it for a minute. He blinked and shook his head, stumbling around his room to pull on some clothes as the spots in his eyes gradually cleared away. He donned his clothes in the dark and shoved his feet into his boots before heading out. Once the door was opened, he was reminded that it was still raining and stopped only long enough to realize that it would be even more rude to show up at someone's door in the middle of the night soaking wet. He absently grabbed an umbrella and began his journey to fight for his right.
The sound of the rain was deafening, so loud that it was difficult to concentrate on his own thoughts. He had no idea what to say to Juvia when he reached her place. He knew he was being stupid and hot-headed, but it wasn't like he had any better ideas right now. In fact, it didn't seem like any of his ideas could be considered "better" these days. He just knew he had to do this, and if he didn't do it now, he was not going to get through the night.
Gray remembered the way she looked at him when she told him, "Gray-sama is the one who took the rain away." He remembered how her dark eyes had made him feel breathless, how her smile had made his heart throb in guilt. He remembered...how she spoke with her voice so full of admiration and love, and how he had felt that the beautiful woman whose voice that belonged to deserved to be loved in return as least as much as she was giving.
He remembered that once upon a time, he thought that there was no way he could be that guy. Now, he was that guy. He had fallen for her harder than he had ever been conscious enough to accept. He should've realized this was going to happen the moment he'd assured her that she didn't need to feel threatened by other women. Of course she didn't. She was his constant. His constant. She'd never wanted to leave his side, and he didn't want her to either.
You know, maybe you should tell her that, Gray thought to himself tiredly as he approached the entrance of Fairy Hills, closing his umbrella. The trip seemed especially short when he was on a personal mission and now he was confronted with the issue of how to get in. He never came here very often, not seeing a reason to. Most of the time he met up with his female guild mates at their actual headquarters. He walked a few of them home from time to time, like when even the high-functioning alcoholic Cana was too smashed to make it back on her own, or when Erza was too full of...cheesecake. Still, he didn't know this building too well and that made it hard to break into. In fact, he wasn't even sure he wanted to break in where a building full of (select) temperamental, violent mage ladies were sleeping. Talk about a death wish if he were to be discovered creeping around as a "suspicious character". He didn't even know exactly where Juvia's apartment was, only that she had butterflies on her door. Ugh, if only this were as easy as breaking into Lucy's comfy place. He could duplicate her key in his sleep.
What the hell was he going to do? He could ring Juvia's apartment to let him in, but then there was the slight problem there that he didn't know which number her room was. He quickly ran through a list of options in his head.
There were definitely a bunch of girls who probably wouldn't murder him for waking them up in the middle of the night, but none of them had ever really been involved in his, er, love life, and he didn't exactly want to advertise that information to more people than necessary. Mirajane was like the nicest big sister to everyone, but she was also a huge romantic and would probably tease him ruthlessly if he told her why he was here. Lisanna shared a room with her, so she was also out of the question. Besides, after that night in the infirmary, it was embarrassing knowing she'd seen what she did. Levy would pry and Wendy...well, that was just weird. He was never going to ask Erza if he wanted to live through the night.
Then...Cana was his only option. Gray swallowed. He might not be murdered by her, but he certainly had to brace himself for potential bodily harm. Summoning his courage, he clicked the button for her room. He needed her help to get through this one door, and he was just going to have to deal with that.
It was almost a full minute later that the communication Lacrima that was attached to the side of the door lit up with life, a long list of choice curse words drifting it from it that let Gray know he had at least hit the right button.
"It is past three in the morning and I will be killing you in a method that depends on who you are and your reason for being here at this ridiculous hour," Cana's highly unamused voice sparked through the Lacrima.
Well, she answered the call. That was start.
"It's Gray. Can you...just let me in? I need to talk to Juvia and I don't know her room number," he replied back, seeing no point in hiding the truth. If Cana heard this had to do with Juvia, she might even be less inclined to wipe his presence off Earthland.
There was a long silence and Gray felt his anxiety building. A silence in response to his message couldn't be anything but a bad sign. That meant she was thinking because she wasn't sure if she supported him being here or not.
"...Don't move," she finally said. "I'm coming down."
"Fine," Gray muttered, sighing quietly enough that it wouldn't be heard on the other end and leaning back against the wall. This was not looking good. Cana could just easily let him in with the push of a button, but she was coming down to talk to him instead. Hadn't there been enough obstacles already?
She came out the front door in a obviously hastily pulled on shirt and shorts. Knowing Cana, she had probably been sleeping in the buff, but she had gotten down her rather quickly anyway. Despite the drowsiness in her eyes that remained, her lips were held in a grim line that Gray immediately had a bad feeling about.
"I don't know what you said to her, but the last time I saw her, you'd broken her," Cana confronted him, getting straight to the point.
"I know—"
"You don't have a right to be here," she interrupted him, arms folded with a glare.
What right do you have? The words echoed in his mind and Gray fumed. So what if this was another stupid obstacle? He'd already gone through a mountain of obstacles. He was not going to let another one stop him from getting to Juvia and giving her a real answer.
"No, I don't have a right to be here," Gray agreed with her, his temper on the edge of spilling over, "but I'm here to get it and you're not going to stop me."
Cana eyed him critically, her stance not relaxing at all. "You know, I told her to give up on you."
The words shocked him for a minute, but he didn't really have anything to say to that. It wasn't like he could be angry with her for giving Juvia advice Cana thought was really in her friend's best interest. Cana had never claimed to take a side either; she was just being a good friend, the same way she had brought him to spy on Juvia's date with Lyon.
"So did I," he admitted as he glanced towards the open door, "but she didn't and I'm not going to let her down again."
A second later, the card mage let out a loud sigh and snickered, shaking her head. "Get inside, you idiot. Her room is down the hall from mine."
A small smile worked its way onto his face. He had won because he was finally fighting for her, and he knew that was all Cana had ever wanted to see. "Thanks."
He slipped through the entrance as he heard Cana call out from behind him, "You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?"
"I can't always make it easy for you," he retorted with a smirk.
"Yeah, well, try harder."
The rest of the journey was travelled rather silently as Cana jerked him around the hallway a few times. Some of the areas in Fairy Hills were kind of familiar looking, but he felt grateful that he actually had a guide with him. Who knew who could've woken up if he had broken in and been fumbling his way around?
When they reached the door with the butterflies on it, Gray conveyed his companion another thanks, to which she nodded but didn't move. He glanced at her quizzically. "What?"
"I just haven't decided whether to go back to bed or eavesdrop yet," she explained in a low voice.
He rolled his eyes. "You're a pain in the ass too. Go back to sleep!" he hissed, grasping her shoulders and physically turning her around.
"What a thanks I get!" Cana whispered in mock outrage as she threw her hands into the air and started marching down the hall. Gray took special care to watch her going back into her own room before he even considered knocking on Juvia's door. Once he saw Cana's dark hair disappear into the other room, he looked back at the door in front of him. What a troublesome girl.
Well, he hadn't quite figured out what he was going to say, or how he was going to say it (besides the fact that it was going to come out of his mouth), but now he was in front of Juvia's room, moments away from seeing her. It seemed appropriate to have some sort of speech prepared, but he quickly dissolved that notion. Juvia appreciated him for who he was, and whether he acted like an idiot or a prepared idiot made no difference to her. He finally understood that, because whether she was being obsessive and weird or quiet and sensitive, he still loved her, and really, that was all she needed to know.
Gray knocked on the door. He was surprised when it opened a few seconds later. All too suddenly, Juvia was standing right in front of him.
"Uh..." he croaked intelligently.
"Gray-kun," Juvia spoke, blinking up at him. He hadn't expected her to get to the door so fast and now he felt like he was swallowing his own tongue.
"C-can I come in?" the ice mage asked, scratching the back of his head.
"Oh," she replied, still a bit stunned, "yes."
She moved a bit out of the doorway for him to step inside and as he walked past her, he noticed her wavy hair was damp with water, a towel draped over her shoulders as well. Plus, she had answered the door awfully quickly with no hesitation. He could only figure that she had been awake already. She couldn't have known he was coming, could she?
As she shut the door, he took in his surroundings. He didn't remember much about the last time he'd been here, other than how he felt in her presence and how much he had wanted to kiss her, so the simple theme of her room was rather new to him. Of course, there was a shelf that seemed to be filled with plushies of...well, him, but he knew Juvia made hobbies of sewing, knitting, and making crafts, so seeing so many stuffed versions of himself didn't really shock him. Still, it brought fire to his face. Her admiration for him was always embarrassing, just because he didn't think there was anything to admire.
"So you weren't sleeping?" he prodded, unsure of how he should proceed.
The door closed and she was blushing like she had been caught doing something wrong. "No. I couldn't get to sleep, so I took a shower."
Of course she takes a shower, Gray thought in amusement. After they'd spent nearly an hour out in the pouring rain the morning before, only Juvia would want to spend time in more water.
"Your hair's still wet," he pointed out as she sat down on her bed and fiddled with the Gray plushie a little shyly.
"Juvia doesn't mind."
"I know," he agreed, moving in front of her to pick up the towel on her shoulders. It was poor excuse to touch her, but he wanted to touch her, nonetheless. Gray placed the towel on her head, his hands on either side, just above her ears and gently tousled her hair. He was making her blush and it was unfairly adorable.
"Then...what brings you here, Gray-kun?" Juvia asked, her head slightly tilted down as he continued to dry her hair. She was peeking up at him and screwing him over because—stop thinking about how fucking attractive she is—of his own stupid urge to touch her.
"Guess I thought I owed you an answer," he said as his hands moved down to her lower locks.
"At three-thirty in the morning?"
"You're the one who was showering."
She didn't have anything to say to that and Gray kept at his task purposefully. A full minute passed before he even managed to find his words again. "...Are you mad at me?"
Juvia's head angled upwards abruptly, causing him to stop his work with the towel. "Mad? Why would Juvia be mad at Gray-kun?"
He pulled away, towel in hand. "Maybe mad's not the right word, but...it's just... It's still raining," the ice mage explained, feeling nervous. "I thought we kind of sorted things out earlier, but it's still raining and I take it that means you still feel pretty crappy about the stuff I said and did."
"It's true that Juvia's emotions triggered the start of the rain, but there are other reasons water falls from the sky, Gray-kun," she told him, giggling a bit. "You worry too much. I've said all I needed to say."
Gray stared at her, bewildered. "Wait, you're saying it's just raining outside because...it's raining?"
"Most of the time, weather is a natural occurrence."
She said it so simply that he felt dumb for the state of worry he'd been in for this morning, especially when he spotted the twitch at the sides of her lips. She was laughing at her little jab at him, despite the embarrassment he was now suffering.
His own lips twitched. "You're evil," Gray proclaimed, purposely messing up her hair with the towel.
Juvia laughed and swatted at his hands unsuccessfully. "Gray-kun is much cooler when he is confident." Her eyes took on a mischievous glint before they went starry. "He is like a heroic, dashing prince—"
"Oi! Quit it!" Gray pulled her forward to stop her, resting her forehead on his abdomen as the towel fell to the ground. "I don't know how you think up some of this stuff..."
"Juvia is just honest," she shot back, though her voice was tender. She didn't move her head, but her hands moved up to grasp his shirt and brought him closer. Suddenly, this situation seemed far more intimate that he had ever intended it to be.
His brain was starting to fail. This felt too good and all he wanted to do was sweep her into his arms. They had hugged before, even passionately embraced (whilst making out), but Gray didn't know how it felt to have her curves melding into his body or her weight against him and he was dying to find out. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he had to practice discipline right now. This was not what he had come here for and no matter which road his mind was going down, he needed to focus on completing the job he had come to do.
"I should be honest too, because you were right. I lied," he confessed as he placed his hands on her head yet again, fingers weaving through her hair. "I lied about everything. I want to go on missions with you, you look really damn good in my shirts so I think you should keep them, I like when you eat with me, and when you don't come find me in the morning, I start inadvertently looking for you. Somehow, you became someone I needed every day, and when I thought I might lose you, I broke down.
"But you fought to be with me for some reason—because you love me and you have endless patience or something—and you made me realize...that I want to fight for you too.
"It's never been a question of whether you could stay with me or not, because even though I never said it, I've always wanted you here. So...I figure you should probably know..." His left hand trailed down the side of her, fingers tilting her chin up so she could meet his eyes. There were tears flowing from her dark eyes, but she was smiling, and contrary to the last time he had made her cry, this was a vast improvement. "I...I love you, and I want to stay by your side, if you'll let me."
It happened so fast he barely knew what was going on. A second later, he was stumbling back with her arms around his neck and wet lips on his. It took another few seconds for him to comprehend that she was kissing him and realize that he should probably kiss her back. It was messy and heated and she tasted like the salt from her tears, but eventually he steadied her waist and it slowed into a much more emotional encounter, because this was the first time he had ever kissed her and known he loved her. This meant something because he knew how he felt, he knew how she felt, and it was the result of fighting for each other. This was them together, united, and that was something he was sure would never crumble.
When she pulled away, Gray had no idea how much time had passed. All he knew was that it was still ridiculously early in the morning, but he couldn't be more awake if he tried. There was a beautiful woman in his arms and he didn't need a mirror to know he was wearing the dopiest grin on his face that humanity had ever seen. He didn't even ponder the current weather, because he knew exactly what it was in here.
"That," Juvia replied, glowing more than she would ever know, "is my answer."