A/N: Thanks once again to my Inner Circle – Yasnah and Infernas81.

Thanks to PinkGuildKnight for the review.

Chapter 13

FEYRE POV

I knew that I'd winnowed out of the townhouse, but I didn't have a destination in mind, just that I wanted and needed to leave. So, it was with a snort of amusement when I found myself sat amongst the branches of a snow-covered tree. I instantly recognised where I was; the far north of Night Court, the Illyrian Steppes. I knew enough to know that here was a dangerous area, so really concentrating, I snapped my fingers and Arco Iris appeared in my left hand, and my dagger belt in my right.

Slinging Arco Iris over my shoulder, I begged the Mother to make sure this next bit went well. I willed my wings to appear, and I got the familiar feeling between my shoulder blades. The next bit was the worrying one; attempting to get myself out of the tree without hurting myself. Making sure my wings wouldn't clip any branches I gave them a few flaps, and slowly rose from the top of the tree, and gently lowered myself to the ground. I wasn't willing to risk any more than that due to the shift in my centre of gravity from the baby. On the ground I put on my dagger belt as quickly as I could and then palmed one of the daggers as I took stock of my position. If I was right, I wasn't too far from Lord Devlon's camp, so I decided to head in that direction, not wanting to think about anything else.

I'd been walking for about ten minutes when I felt Rhys pull the bond insistently, causing me to lock it down more. I didn't want to be found; at least not yet. Soon after I felt him trying to search me out. I don't know how I knew he was searching for me, but I just did. I concentrated on not letting him have any details on what I was doing. I continued walking when there was a slight clatter in the snow to my left, I looked over to see a folded piece of paper with a pen on top. I picked it up and continued on my way, until I came upon a rock. I hastily brushed most of the snow away and sat down to have a small rest, watching as my breath clouded in front of me as it met the frigid air, as I tried to calm my panting breaths.

After reading the letter I picked up the pen to write a response.

I'm sorry. I'm still in Night and I'm safe. I don't want to come home yet. Tell Cass I'm sorry, I didn't leave without him on purpose. Love you xx

I blotted at the tears that had fallen on the paper, so as not to smudge the ink, as I folded it back up, and then it and the pen disappeared from my hand. Sighing, I got back to my feet and continued on my way.

I was walking through a particularly dense part of forest when I felt the presence behind me. I stopped walking and stood up straight, not looking behind me. "Bryaxis," I said, looking like I was talking to thin air.

There was a hum from behind me. "High Lady," greeted the monster that formally resided within the library in Velaris. "It's nice to see you again. I see you will birth your young very soon." I nodded my head once in response. "You don't seem happy My Lady. Come, tell Bryaxis of your troubles; you may find I can be more helpful than you know." I nearly spun around at that statement, but the aura from the creature behind me seemed to change – it became more terrifying – and I stopped, "no, My Lady, do not turn around," Bryaxis warned, "you are not ready to see me; not yet."

Licking my lips in an attempt to get some moisture I asked, "what do you know?"

What can only be described a chuckle emanated from behind me, "I am thousands of years old, I have seen things you couldn't imagine. I was created not of Prythian and have knowledge of places other than this land – you will need to clarify what you wish to know, otherwise you and I will be here for a very long time."

Still not looking over my shoulder I clarified, "you just said that you can be helpful to me…how? How can you be helpful, and what do you want in return?"

"I know that you haven't been feeling yourself lately, and that your family have attributed it to the child you carry within you, but that is not so. I know that your magic doesn't work as it should, and that it is more powerful than normal. I know that you suspect something is going to happen. I know that you have been having dreams – dreams in which your daughter gets taken away from you." I gasped at the last part, causing another chuckle. "Oh yes, My Lady. I know all these things."

"But – " I began.

" – our time is short, My Lady, for I must leave. Already I feel the growing presence of the shadows from your Shadowsinger. Know this, things will come to pass that bode ill for all who reside here, you most of all. Look after yourself but look after your child more so. That child, is a child of two worlds, and she will be in great danger. I will find you again when you have need of me. Farewell, Lady."

I felt Bryaxis leave and didn't realise that my face was wet with tears I didn't know I'd shed and I was cradling my bump protectively. Without turning back, I forged on, trudging through the snow, towards Devlon's camp, keeping a look out for danger, but also for Azriel.

Lord Devlon greeted me at the entrance to his camp. I was stiff and cold from being out in the freezing weather so long. Devlon gently steered me towards his office, whilst telling me there was a fire and a hot drink waiting.

Opening the door to his office, Devlon bowed as he left, shutting the door behind me. I wasn't the least bit surprised to see Azriel stood there. He looked at me shocked and started striding towards me. I was surprised when he marched straight past me and threw the door open, shouting commands, then slamming it shut again as he headed back towards me. "Mother, Feyre, we've been so worried," he said as he grabbed me into a hug. "You're freezing, have you been out here all the time you've been gone?" I gave him a small nod. He held tight, running his scarred hands up and down my arms in an attempt to get me warmer through the friction, as his shadows probed around, checking for injuries. "You been flying?" he questioned.

"When I winnowed I appeared at the top of a tree, so I had to use my wings to help me down," I said, my voice barely a whisper.

"Why didn't you shift them away?"

Shrugging, I replied, "didn't think about it. Why?"

He sighed, "you've been out for over four hours in the cold of the Illyrian Steppes and was ill-equipped to do so. We need to get your wings warmed up carefully, so that you don't end up with permanent damage." I pulled back to look at him, my look telling him he needed to explain. "Illyrian's are born and raised on the Steppes, so we're used to the inhospitable temperatures, but you're not Illyrian and you aren't used to it. You came out here with very little in the way of warm clothing on; you don't even have a cloak. Because you weren't prepared for this, your body went into preservation mode to protect you and your baby, so it diverted blood from your wings. You have the beginning of frostbite at the tips, so we need to get it tended to.

I gave him a slow nod and sat down and had a mug of tea thrust at me, just as one of the Camp Mother's came in, with blankets, a bowl of soup and tin of salve. When I'd eaten the soup, she set to work on my wings. She gently but firmly pulled them out one at a time, and rubbed them with the salve, to encourage the blood to flow back into the tips. She told me my wings would be fine in a couple of days, but I had to flare and flap them every few hours to help circulate the blood. When she was done, she took her leave with my thanks.

After the Camp Mother had gone Azriel brought me another mug of tea and sat down facing me. He looked at me and I looked at him, but neither said anything. I decided to break the stalemate, "I take it you told Rhys I'm here."

He nodded. "I told him I was pretty sure I'd picked up your presence out on the Steppes, heading this way. Then I told him as soon as you'd arrived." I looked at the floor. "He isn't mad, none of them are; they've been extremely worried, but never angry."

"They should be angry," I retorted angrily, "I attacked my sister and hurt her. My sweet, gentle sister, who has never hurt anyone, and I burned her, and all because she wanted to see if my baby was ok."

Azriel's shadows swarmed around me as he responded, "Elain showed Rhys what happened, and he shared it with us. You were asleep, in a dream from the mumbling she heard from you, and she touched your abdomen. You did what any mother would do, you instinctively protected your young. No-one can and does fault you for that."

"Nesta will," I huffed.

"Nesta finds fault with any little thing, and is especially protective of Elain, as you well know, but even she has been told this is not your fault." I rolled my eyes at his words. "Seriously, Elain got rather cross with Nesta when she tried blaming you," he assured me. "Now, are you ready to go home yet, or do you want to stay here and talk about it?"

I opted to go home, I didn't want to talk yet, but I asked Azriel to winnow me straight to my bedroom as I didn't want to see anyone else and I was so tired. He sent word to Devlon that we were leaving and taking my arm he winnowed us home.

As soon as we got back, Azriel left me alone in my room. I had no doubt that they had all been talking about me. I didn't want to talk to any them – Rhys included – so I quickly put my pyjamas on and got into bed, falling asleep immediately.

Waking up the next morning, I saw Rhys asleep next me. I thought that I might as well get what happened yesterday out the way, so I gently traced my fingers down Rhys' cheek to wake him up. As I touched him a smile spread across his face and I leant down and gave him a kiss on the lips. He mumbled a good morning to me as he struggled to wake himself up.

When he was more awake and sat up in bed, I started talking. I told him about the dreams, about being worried for our child. I explained about the feeling that something is going to happen in Prythian. I told him my guilt about what had happened to Elain and my frustration with not being able to control my magic or my temper. He didn't say anything as I spoke, instead listening intently. When I was finished he drew me into a crushing embrace, telling me that everything could be explained by my being pregnant. I knew he was keeping something back, but at that moment I didn't care, I was in his arms and for the first time in a long time, I felt somewhat normal.

After my inadvertent trip to the Steppes, I noticed changes with everyone in how they acted. To my face, they were perfectly fine, but conversations would cease when I entered rooms. I was so fed up that I broke the promise that Rhys and I had with the Inner Circle; I used my daemati ability on them, but they all had shielded themselves from intrusion. None of them called me out on my indiscretion, but I knew they knew that I'd tried. I knew that they would have their minds shielded, but it felt like Rhys had strengthened them.

No longer was I allowed to be alone, lest my magic cause me to winnow away without anyone knowing. It felt like Thesan and Madja were permanent fixtures at the house; they told me it was so they could treat Cassian's infection – which was thankfully responding well to treatment – but I knew it was so that they could keep any eye on me.

Azriel took watching over me to a new level. He took every opportunity that presented itself to take me out of the house, in the hope that I would open up and talk to him about anything. After talking to Rhys the day I got back from the Steppes, I've not spoken about my fears to any of the others, but I know that Rhys will have told them. I know that they all think it's to do with my pregnancy, but I don't agree with them, and Bryaxis seemingly confirming it has made me more concerned than I was originally.

A few days after we got back Az had taken the opportunity of Madja coming to once again treat Cassian's arm to remove me from the house. The unfortunate reek from the infected tissue and the herbs that were being used to treat it were nauseating and I couldn't stand to be in the house when the bindings were removed.

This particular trip out saw us stalking through a forest. Whilst we weren't out hunting per se, I insisted on wearing my hunting gear; black leggings, white shirt, dark purple tunic and brown knee-high boots. I grabbed my bow and arrows; and pulled my finger guard over the middle and ring fingers on my left hand, fastening it around the wrist, then strapped my wrist guard to my right wrist. Azriel wanted me armed, so I also had my dagger belt adjusted around my hips, but I couldn't get it to sit right. When I found Azriel after I'd finished getting ready, I couldn't stop fiddling with it and grumbling. Azriel finally relented, letting me take it off, so long as I took one dagger, which I stuck in the top of my left boot.

As we walked along, I had an arrow loosely nocked. It was made abundantly clear that this was not a proper hunt, but I wanted to keep my skills honed; these skills had prevented my family from starving and I had no idea when or if I'd have need of them again. I was focused on tracking a small, deer-like creature when I heard a twig crack from behind. I whirled around, bow up and string pulled back, ready to fire. Az held his hands up, muttering an apology.

"No, I'm sorry Az," I said as I lowered my bow and removed the tension from the bow string. "I was too focused on the hunt," I attempted to explain.

"You've been like that for a while now, Feyre. What's going on? And you saying nothing, or shrugging your shoulders, is not going to suffice." I did shrug my shoulders, as I tried to formulate how to answer, earning me a bemused glare. His look broke my seriousness and I laughed at him. I wanted to tell him everything but using my own words rather than him hearing it from Rhys, but I wasn't sure if I could cope with him also not taking my concerns seriously. He seemed to sense my hesitation. "You can tell me whatever you want, and I promise to listen carefully, and give you my opinion," he offered.

I carefully nodded my head, then launched into what was going on as we walked slowly. I was concentrating more on where I was walking than what I was saying, just verbalising all my thoughts and fears. Azriel said nothing as we continued on, just listening intently. I explained my dreams in as much detail as I could remember. Then I got to my jaunt to the Steppes and I stopped walking and turned to face Azriel. He stopped too and arched an eyebrow in response, then rotated his hand around repeatedly, encouraging me to confide things that I hadn't even told Rhys. It was not that I had lied to him, but rather I'd omitted my meeting with Bryaxis when I recounted to him what had happened. I couldn't tell Az about Bryaxis either, so I finished by telling him that I had used my time away to try and get things straight in my head, and that I was worried for my baby.

When I had told him talking, I dared to properly look at him. He looked deep in thought; at least he had listened and was considering what I'd told him. Finally, he looked at me, but his face gave nothing away. "I agree that your pregnancy is likely affecting you – " I didn't let him finish the sentence I'd heard too many times, so I turned around and started following the tracks again. Azriel continued, " – but," I stopped, "a lot of what you've said cannot be explained away by your condition. I don't know what is happening, but I promise that I will keep an extra look out for anything off that might be happening."

I flung myself at him to give him a hug. It felt right that I was being believed; I just wish I was wrong.