Revelation
Prompt from mikasas-ackermen on tumblr: Eren realizing he likes Mikasa
It takes the end of the world to realize he loves her.
It takes coming face to face with the Titan that killed his mom, surrounded by their friends and comrades, a situation more desperate than they've ever faced before; his arms are still healing, Mikasa is trying so hard to fight through her pain, but no one is close enough to help them. They'll die here, in a heap on the ground.
It takes Mikasa throwing himself over him, desperate to save him even if it means her own death, and her ill-timed confession of feelings Eren had recently come to see, to realize how he's loved her all along. To stand up and save her.
He can't lose her. He can't, can't lose her in the open field, not to the monsters he's lost more than enough to already. He refuses to leave her, ignores her when she tells him to go, doesn't miss the way her arms close around him like a vice, the way her chest heaves against his back as she tries to stifle her gasps of pain.
Eren doesn't get a chance to meet her in the infirmary, to tell her what he realized. They're taken straight to an old cabin in the woods, Mikasa joining a few hours later once Hanji gets her away from the castle.
He wants to say something, but between experiments with Hanji, meetings with their squad, and constant interruptions from Levi's ever-present new squad, Eren never gets her alone. And then the plan goes wrong. Kenny Ackerman ruins their plans and takes Eren far, far and underground and away from those who love him as fiercely as he loves them.
She never leaves his mind even as he hangs strung up on an altar, as he learns that Rod Reiss needs Historia to eat him. He worries about Mikasa, about who Kenny Ackerman is to her, about Armin and Sasha, about Hanji and Connie and Jean, about the manipulation Rod is using to convince Historia of his plan. Of dying without getting to tell Mikasa how he felt.
But she finds him; she always does. Fights through anyone in her path to save him before he's destroyed by Kenny or Rod, and Eren knows the ride back to the cabin is not the proper time to tell her. She's upset about the Ackerman name; he can barely walk under the weight of recent memories and revelations and being starved by Reiss. Eren can only hold her tight as they ride, whispering thank you to her back as she holds his hand and tells him again and again that he'll be okay.
They're pulled into a meeting right away, to begin explaining everything Eren and Historia learned, and it's a blessing when Hanji finally says they'll plan the new structure for the government later. Eren needs to rest and Hanji needs to change the bandage on their arm.
Mikasa isn't there when he wakes up, but Jean, Connie, and Armin are all asleep in their bunks. Eren doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but his stomach is aching, (and maybe his heart when he sees she isn't curled up at his bedside,) and his legs desperately want to be stretched, so he leaves his bed, creeps past Hanji's room into the kitchen. He finds some fruit, something small to appease his stomach before he can eat large meals again, shivers when he notices that the door leading outside is open, propped with a small bucket and letting the frigid winter air in.
He glances outside, preparing to toe the bucket back inside and close the door, but he pauses when he sees Mikasa sitting on the top step, her thin blanket thrown hastily over her sleep clothes, her head bowed.
She jumps a bit when Eren peels the blanket away from her shoulder, sitting close to her and pulling the blanket around himself, leaning into her warmth. Mikasa takes his hand, resting her head against his.
"Are you okay?" She asks quietly.
Eren nods slowly, turning his nose into her hair. "Why are you out here?"
"Just… thinking."
"About Kenny Ackerman?" The name leaves a sour taste on his tongue. Mikasa doesn't repond, but her silence is answer enough. Eren changes the subject, hoping to take her mind off his most recent kidnapper. "How long was I out?"
"A few days." Her fingers still against his neck. "We're moving back to the castle the day after tomorrow."
He nods again, feeling exhausted but oddly at peace as Mikasa works her arm around his back and smooths her fingers through the fine hairs at the nape of his neck. Eren hums against her hair, throwing an arm across her waist. It's freezing outside, their short breaths mingling with the snowflakes dusting the air around them, but it's warm huddled under the blanket. They could get sick if they stay out much longer, but he doesn't want to leave her. He missed this during the mess of the coup, while he was kidnapped by Kenny. He missed being so close to Mikasa, her fingers steady around his, her hand the only one allowed to touch his weak spot, her heart bared to him.
He loves her.
Eren feels his stomach clench, desperate to tell her now, but reluctant to ruin this; this peace, this thing they had together. He clears his throat. "So the coup was successful?"
"Yeah." Mikasa takes his hand by her hip, linking their fingers and squeezing gently. She's silent for a while, and Eren worries that she's fallen asleep against him when she speaks again. "You remembered something, didn't you? Something you kept from Hanji." She doesn't sound accusatory, only curious as she leans back and he raises his head to look at her properly.
"Yeah," he grimaces, memories of his dad and Freida Reiss and his first transformation running through his head. He doesn't want to think about it now, he and Historia will have to explain the rest in the morning anyway. "I'll tell you before everyone else."
"I trust you, Eren." She works her fingers into his hair fully, scratching lightly at his scalp, staring intently into his eyes while the world continues softly around them. His anchor. "You can tell me when you're ready."
He loves her. One of the few constants in his life, Mikasa stayed with him through losing their families, through discovering his Titan ability, Corps expeditions and the coup; offering herself to him and his goal wholeheartedly while asking for nothing but his presence in return. Eren once thought she cared so much just to keep a promise to his mom, but he's learned since then, through all they've experienced together, Mikasa does it because she loves him, too.
Eren cups her cheek gently, rubbing his thumb across her cold skin. She leans into his touch, eyes fluttering closed, and Eren wonders how long she's been outside, alone in the cold with her thoughts instead of waking him first, because it's what they've always done when memories of the past consume them. They never turn the other away, offering their bed or arms as a solace from the horrors they live in; a habit only strengthened from their childhoods. They know each other inside and out, stay with each other because doing so is one of the things that makes sense in this world-
"I love you." He blurts quietly, shouting it in the dead of night, screaming because he needs to let her know; the words slipping from his lips to mingle with the light snowflakes, to fall between them in the silence that follows. She glances at him, blinking slowly, her throat working as if waking from a dream. "Shit… Mikasa, I-"
"I love you, too." Mikasa says, calm and even and composed as she leans her forehead against his. He feels his heart slow, because even if he already knew it, it soothes him to hear Mikasa say it.
They stay like that, closer than they've been before, breaths intermingling as he holds her to him, his arms tight around her shoulders and Mikasa's hand pressed firmly against his heart.
Eren drops a kiss to her temple before standing, pulling her up with him and wrapping the blanket back around her shoulders with his arm as they head back inside.
"Levi will kill me if I get you sick," Eren says as he pushes the bucket away from the door.
Mikasa rolls her eyes. "A cold won't keep me out of the field."
He puts his arm around her again, pulling her close as they sneak up the stairs because he knows Mikasa won't let something so small stop her. "So Kenny's your-"
"I don't want to talk about it," Mikasa groans, knocking her head against his shoulder, her skin reflecting prettily in the moonlight.
He kisses her forehead outside of the girl's room, and Mikasa takes his face to press a proper kiss to his mouth before bidding him goodnight and slipping through the door.
Still grinning, Eren makes his way back to his room. They'll discuss it more in the coming days, what they are, the futures they promised each other so many times. Now's not the time to start a relationship, the stakes are too high, the threats too numerous, but that won't stop them from aiming for one, won't stop what they feel for each other.
He loves her.
A/N: I just want to say thank you to everyone who's been reviewing/favoriting/following this story! It means so much to me that you all love it so much! I read every single review and they all brighten my day considerably. And I know I don't really respond to them, (since this isn't AO3 and I can't reply in a comments section and I don't want to bore all of you by responding to them at the ends of chapters mostly because it'll just be me crying and telling you I love you), but I do really appreciate every single one of you!
And I'm always taking prompts, here, my AO3, or tumblr; all at miikasaa
Also, to the anonymous reviewer who said they had a hard time picturing Petra as Effie, I can't picture Petra there either. But I didn't know who else to put and thought I could spin it in a way that works lmao.