Yay, the Christmas chapter... Acctually it's not quite in the Christmass mood... quite depressing... Anyway, enjoy! And best wishes.

VIOLENCE WARNING!

Heavy eyelids rose slightly to uncover the blue irises. Her gaze was still hazy but it started to sharpen. She was lying in an unknown room, on a double bed, trying to remember, how she got there.

Fang…

She turned her head but there was no one next to her. Quilt was laying straight, impeccable… as if no one used it. However, she could still feel the familiar smell. The one she adored so much. She lifted her body up with difficulty, to look around the room.

Empty.

Anxiety started to grow in her. She got up from the bed and dragged herself slowly to the door… but they no longer were like she remembered them. They were wooden, old, neglected, painted white years ago. Place, where the white paint was scratched off, leaving four grooves in the old wood, was the most conspicuous.

Lightning opened them. The brightness hit her eyes, making them close. She tried to cover them from a blinding light, making a few steps forward. Her eyes eventually get used to the brightness but there was nothing to look at, only the white void in every direction. The door were no longer behind her, it disappeared.

No way back… have to go forward… into an unknown…

She started the stroll through emptiness, not seeing, not hearing, not feeling anything. Eventually some high-pitched sound reached her ears. She couldn't place it at first but it was resembling the dentist… the drilling. The sound was getting more and more sharp with every step in its direction. The hazed posture was standing in the distance. She got closer. It was turned with its back, dressed in a white overall.

She was getting near when the person turned sharply, revealing one more person in front of him. Sedated, with a shaved head, looking like in the peaceful sleep, with her skull opened…

Fang…

Her stomach tighten into the size of a nut, she couldn't move, paralyzed by the fright, by the view. Part of brain visible through the hole, blood dripping down, getting lost in white emptiness. She didn't have time to snap out when the man jumped to her, scalpel in his hand, surgical mask lowered only to show his wry smile. Lightning stumbled trying to take a step back, they both hit the ground. The man's body over her, scalpel dangerously near her throat, but she was holding his wrist, not letting him to draw any blood. The fingers of his second hand squeezed around her throat tight enough to make her breathing difficult but not enough to suffocate her. The eyes were so much different, then the last time she saw them but she wouldn't forget them. Last time they were terrified, dying, she saw the life slip away from them, in that moment there was insanity in them, the glimmer of vengeance, the smugness, confidence. No trace of fear.

She was trying to free herself from his grip, but wasn't strong enough.

"You won't save her. Even though you've have killed me, you can't fight all of us. You're too weak. No one will help you. You're a typical criminal now and you've already drawn everybody you care about into this. The kiddo, he's smart but has a lot to learn. He thinks he can rummage in our systems with impunity, that he leaves no traces… bullshit. We'll get to him soon… and to Serah… What were you thinking leaving her with a bunch of irresponsible kids? You thought they'd protect her? You're a fool! Snow is in no shape to even get up from a bed. You left her. Left her to die." She wanted to protest but the hand clenched around her throat didn't let any words leave her mouth. Only some desperate, choking noises. "That's sad… Dajh don't even remember his mother, he was an infant then and now he'll be left alone… because of you. You've also lost your parent's, haven't you? Still, you were much older then, you had a sister, had something to fight for." The reminder of her parents made her struggle against the grip. He has no right to talk about them. Who gave him a fucking right to talk about her family, about her… friends? New wave of rage started to spill over her body, reviving it, growing bigger with every next word which was leaving his mouth. "Don't you worry, we'll fix that. Everyone will be taken from you… that was your choice you dragged them in. You'll be left alone. Starting with your friends Sazh, Hope, then Fang and Serah for a great finish. Everyone taken… just like daddy and mommy…"

Gurgle of his laughter filled the white emptiness around them. She could take no more. Hot tears started to burn her eyes, teeth were gnashing with anger, palms clenched around his wrists with force, gathering all strength which was left in her. She was able to overpower his one hand, forcing it up, letting out muffled, long, growl along with her rage. The scalpel sank slowly in his throat, it was cutting through skin like butter. Waves of bright red liquid were spilling out of the hole. However, man's smirk didn't seem to fade.

"It won't…" he choked on his blood "change anything. You've already killed me."

His blood was dripping, or rather pouring on Lightning's face, flooding her eyes. She shoved the man off her, when the grip on her neck weakened. Then she curled up, lying in the white void, trying to catch a breath, her eyes glued with blood, heart racing ever so madly.

The time she was lying like that, afraid to move, to open her eyes, seemed to be an eternity. Singing of a bird realized her that she is no longer in the bright emptiness. Hard cold stone was digging into her hip. Light rubbed her eyes and opened them hesitantly. She was lying on the sidewalk. She lifted her head slowly, then the rest of her body. It wasn't some random street, she was standing in front of her home, still jittery, remembering the threat.

The loud sound of car horn, followed immediately by the sound of crash, reached her from behind. The ears twitched under the strands of pink hair, her eyes started to burn again. She didn't need to turn, she exactly knew what she'd see. She saw it so many times in her dreams when she was younger. The vision stopped tormenting her long ago, now it came back as vividly as ever, enticing as much grief as at the day it happened.

She turned eventually. Everything was as she expected, as the first time she had seen it. The only thing that was unique about that first time, was that it hadn't been a dream… despite her wanting it to be…

It was hard to even recognize her parents' car, parts of it were scattered on the street in a quite big radius. One of its wheels were rolling slowly in her direction and fell to the side just before reaching her. She was again terrified, helpless teenager, whose world crushed into pieces, just like the car…

She started walk towards it, on her trembling legs, her eyes fixed on the wreckage. Quiet whisper was calling her from inside of it. Could it be…? Her wishful thinking took better of her only for a moment. She shook her head in resignation but increased her pace anyway. The sound grew louder.

"Lightnin'…" It repeated again, she started to run but someone grabbed her shoulder. "Sunshine!"

Her eyes snapped open. Only one person could call her that. She woke up in the dark unknown room. Black tresses were hovering over her and the beautiful face, she was yearning to see… untouched. Lightning was panting heavily, it was easy to see the whites of her eyes, they were watering but still swept through the surrounding nervously.

"That's only a bad dream, Sunshine." Whispered familiar voice quietly, a hand started to stroke her hair tenderly.

Lightning remembered the room, everything what happened the day before. She turned on her side, facing emptiness, leaving the concerned person behind her back. She curled her legs up, still panting, keeping her eyes wide-opened, as if afraid to blink, to close them even for a second. Burning tears were rolling down her cheek. All her body was trembling.

Fang clung to her from behind, holding her tightly. Soft lips placed a gentle kiss on her shaking shoulder.

"Calm down, Sunshine… only a bad dream." Her words didn't seem to have any effect, hell it seemed to not even reach the pinkhead but she wasn't the one to give up. "Ya can tell me 'bout it… it often works…" Still no answer or acknowledgement. The only thing Lightning was hearing, were the words of the man, resounding in her head like an echo, all over again and again.

They were lying like that for some time, with Fang's hand stroking the pink locks. It didn't work. Lightning state wasn't changing. The only difference was that she stopped panting, the air was leaving her lungs as the shaky breaths.

"Lightnin'…" Fang tried to turn the woman back, but she was like a stone. "Sunshine, look at me, please." Her voice was beyond worried, she hated watching the sergeant like that, hated not being able to do a damn thing, hated that she couldn't pass the high walls the woman surrounded herself with. They were close and still the brunette was helpless. She couldn't stand being helpless. When Yun can't pass the wall, Yun smashes the wall!

The Oerban grabbed the pale, muscled shoulders and turned the woman forcefully. "Look at me!" The shout reverberated through the room. This time that was enough to pull Lightning out of her own head. She was surprised with the outburst and harsh treatment but still didn't expect to find the frustrated tears in Fang eyes.

"Why won't ya let me help?! Ya sealed yourself so tightly… Why don't ya trust me? Why won't ya tell me anything?! About what's happenin' now, about what happened yesterday, about these people… Wanna protect me?! Great. Ya 'won't let them hurt me'? I'm flattered. But ya know what hurts most? Seein' ya takin' too much on your shoulders... Watchin' as it breaks ya piece by piece. Not bein' able to do fuckin' anything 'bout it… Ya've done so much for me so why can't I do somethin' for ya? It's not your private burden, ya've taken it from me and I don't want ya to carry it alone. Ya're tryin' to protect everyone but it's impossible! Ya blame yourself if something goes wrong but it's life, shit happens. Ya are NOT responsible for all shit in the world!"

"I've dragged them into this… everyone. Hope, Sazh, Serah… If Snow hadn't been there…"

"Fuck, Lightnin'! Ya still don't get it… It's not like ya force anyone to help… ehhh… Sunshine, ya're only a human… ya can't save everyone from everythin'… Ya behave as if you were some fuckin' savior! Ya're still human and ya aren't indestructible… It doesn't matter how much ya try and how hard is the shell ya've made around ya, it can break with too much pressure…" Fang half-smiled knowingly, before her next words. "Lightning is only a shell, isn't it?" The blue eyes widened in surprise, in fright before uncovering something she tried so hard to hide even from herself. "Claire didn't die that day. Ya've hidden her from a world very carefully and made sure no one would find her under the thick shell of Lightning."

Light turned her head slowly, looking to the side, feeling so… naked, so vulnerable, knowing that green spots can see through her, so embarrassed. However, Fang was relentless, she cupped Light's chin, forcing her back.

"Seems like I've found your little secret." She smiled with a pinch of smugness but quickly came back to seriousness. "Don't ya hide from me anymore. Ya are special… I want ya whole…"

The moment of silence spread between them but Lightning could see in Fang's eyes that, she was honest and she really meant what she said.

"Fang…" She started but didn't know what to say. She was never good in talking, especially about the feelings. Fang's declaration struck her dumb.

"Ya know, it's nothin' bad in Lightnin'…" She laughed nervously, trying to ease the tension, feeling like she made a false start. "She's a total badass, extremely dangerous to play with but it makes me excited… and my pants ruined…" Releasing the tension was tremendously successful… most people would facepalm or kill her for ruining the moment but she wasn't done with talking yet. "I want ya to let go… don't stifle your emotions, they won't make ya weak. Ya're getting weak fighting with them. Even if ya was to break down, it'd be better than being on the edge all the time. Sometimes ya have to break something completely to build it anew. But ya're no longer alone, if ya ever need my shoulder, it's right there, just next to ya."Her smile was encouraging and had the reassuring effect on the shattered nerves. That was stupid but for a moment Light felt like this smile could dispel all the thick, black clouds and make a world better place… but still that was only a gesture, didn't have any power to solve problems.

"One more think… I want ya to tell me everythin' you know… Why didn't ya? Don't ya trust me?"

"No, Fang… It's… not about trust… It's quite a lot to handle… I didn't want a repeat… from warehouses… There wasn't time…"

"Ahhh…"Fang let out an exasperated sigh and fell down on the mattress next to the pinkhead. "There it goes again… 'the savoir of the world'… I can handle myself. If I needed a hero, I'd fell for Snow." She got punched playfully on the arm. "Hey! Just kiddin'…"

"I know but the thought disgusts me."

Fang sank in the cerulean eyes again getting serious.

"I don't want ya to protect me. I want ya to be happy… to make ya happy… Maybe I'm a masochist but I've fallen for you…"

Light's throat tighten, once more making her unable to say anything. She still didn't feel ready to talk about her feelings so openly, it was making her extremely nervous. She placed an affectionate kiss on Fang's lips and snuggled in the crook of her neck.

"You definitely are a masochist." She added when her heart finally steadied into its normal rhythm and the lump in her throat finally let some sounds go out.

"Fang…" She started hesitantly, still unsure if she should share with Fang, being too proud to admit that she isn't as strong as she would want. However she knew that if she didn't confess, her own fright would consume her. "I don't know what to do… I'm… scared." She closed her eyes tightly, grimacing on the sound of foreign words leaving her mouths, burying her face in the brunette's shoulder, because of ashamed blush creeping up her face.

"Ya think I'm not?" Her voice was quite amused as if Lightning said the most obvious thing in the world. It confused the pinkhead. Oerban was always so cocky, fear simply didn't match to the overall picture of her.

"Are you?"

"Since the day I've woken up in that nest of vipers and even more now." She shifted a bit to have a better look on the pale face. "It's nothin' to be ashamed for. Only idiots aren't afraid. Think about Snow, is he scared of anythin'?"

Loud amused huff escaped from Light's mouth, which curved into almost unnoticeable ghost of a smile. Fang grinned widely seeing that she was eventually able to lighten the mood a tiny bit.

"We'll have to work on that smile of yours but for now it's better than notin'."

"I see it's very difficult for you to be serious for a while."

"Nah, it's not my problem with not bein' serious, it's yours with bein too serious."

"Maybe because we have serious troubles?"

"Seriously? I wouldn't guess." Sarcasm was pouring out from both of them. It was more amused than annoyed, still Fang started to be impatient, she didn't like to be kept blind. "Maybe I would if you told me anything…"

"Right…" Light faded a bit, dropping her eyes. "Don't know where to start…"

"Vanille. Where is she? Is she safe? Is she…" She swallowed loudly, the word couldn't pass her tightened throat.

"She's alive. From what I know, her life shouldn't be in immediate danger but I don't know where she is."

" 'Her life shouldn't be in immediate danger' what is it supposed to mean?! Can't ya say it straight?"

"It means exactly what I said…" She let long frustrated breath out. "Maybe I'll start from beginning." Fang nodded in agreement not trying to hide her impatience.

"It all started just after the war. Some virus started to spread on the Gran Pulse. I'm… not sure if that was natural." She looked meaningly at Fang, who quirked her brow in a surprise of how it all started and with a pinch of disbelief. "I mean… It wasn't said anywhere but it all looks like a part of carefully arranged, long termed plan. Cocoon struggles with overpopulation… The plague on Pulse...

"Gran Pulse."

"The plague was very contagious and was killing fast but seemed to be dangerous only for humans. When the government of Cocoon saw what's happening it offered their help in developing the cure… but demanded that your people would let Cocoonians to settle a colony on the Gran Pulse."

"What?! You said that Cocoon, under the guise of peace, used a biological weapon… and then they tried to force us to share our planet with ya?" Fang was fuming with anger but Lightning didn't try to calm her, she knew that Fang has every right to be furious.

"The first part is only a guess, the second… yes. Cocoon tried to take advantage of the situation."

"I'd rather smash Cocoon out of the sky than let these vipers live with us!"

"That's exactly what your people said."

"So what, they decided to wait until we die off? Fuckin' cowards…"

"Kind of… When there was little of you, they started to prepare for the colonization. Government sent some expeditions but only few people returned. They described Gran Pulse as hell, didn't know how your people could survive there and decided it's too dangerous, too harsh to live on."

"Of course…" Fang huffed with disgust and contempt. "Cocoonians are the creatures of comfort, weak pussies! Frail cowards, afraid to fight us openly…"

Lightning knew that Fang is right but still, she was Cocoonian, these words were also directed to her.

"People knew nothing about that! We're only briefly informed after all, that some unknown plague killed all Pulsians, not even a mention about a plan to colonize Gran Pulse. We're kept blind all these years. Even an army couldn't know… my dad would never took part in it. He would never agree to kill civilians."

"That's great, coz on Gran Pulse was no civilians. Everyone was a fighter if needed." Tense silence spread between them but not for long. "Do ya really think people would protest then? They hated us." There was no response from the pinkhead, only an overwhelming resignation. Fang was right, the old grudges were still present in society. Grimness was an only answer Light could offer. It told more than most words would say. No response can be sometimes the most full response.

"Anyway…" Fang calmed a little bit, knowing that there is no point in taking her anger out on the only Cocoonian who was on her side. "It was years ago… how is it related to me and Vanille?"

Light took a deep breath knowing that it is only going to get worse.

"Have you ever heard about Sci-Lore?"

Oerban started to shake her head but hesitated in the middle. Again it felt strangely familiar, she couldn't remember anything, still the uneasiness was ever present.

"Probably… but remember nothin'."

"When your people were on the brink of extinction, they were asked once more if they help us colonize Gran Pulse if we save them. The answer was again no. However your planet was the only solution to the problem of overpopulation. The government decided to pick ten Pulsians to extract your memories, knowledge about Gran Pulse, tips how to survive there…"

"Ya're fuckin' kiddin' me… Ya mean that I and Vanille…"

"Yes, you were among the ten."

"Wait a minute… when was that?"

"About fifteen years ago."

"Nah, can't be… I remember some things when I was already an adult…" She looked at herself warily trying to examine her body. "No way I'm just before my forties… There isn't even one wrinkle on my face! This is some misunderstandin'…"

Lightning snorted seeing brunette's confusion, that was amazing that for the Oerban the most thrilling info of a day was about her age. Indeed, her toned body was perfect, Light couldn't help her eyes from wandering shamelessly along the naked silhouette, partially uncovered from under a quilt. She bit her lip, not being able to stop the flow of memories from a few hours earlier. How it was to feel these breasts under her fingers, how every fiber of that skillfully shaped body responded to her ministrations, how it was yearning for her touch, the smell of that slightly darker skin. After their first kiss the taste of Fang's lips couldn't escape from her mind for long a time, after that night Light doubted that the taste of her molten center, so hot and waiting, would ever disappear from her tongue.

"Enjoyin' a view?" She was brutally pulled out of her memories. Fang was watching her carefully with her brow quirked and a visible smirk, decorating her face.

It startled the pinkhead that she was again caught but it probably wasn't the reason why her cheeks felt hot. She composed herself quickly remembering that she had every right to admire her lover.

"Yes, I was actually enjoying it a lot… despite your age…"

It was Light's turn to curve her lips into a smirk and observe as Fang's mouth go slack open. She didn't expect the pinkhead to return the ball and additionally with a low blow.

"W-what?! Aww, ya little, cunnin', Cocoonian viper…"

"You've forgotten to add young."

"I fuckin' hate ya Farron…"

"Really? Yesterday it seemed otherwise…"

"Huh… shut up… God… Is it really truth? Fuck… I could be your mother…"

"Not quite…. My mother would be three years older now."

"It doesn't reassure me at all… How is it even possible?"

"Praise God for cryostasis."

"What?"

"You were… hibernated. I don't know the details. It's not common technology on Cocoon. Sci-Lore was developing it several years ago, they've made a lot of test on animals with positive outcome but weren't allowed to experiment on people. When you got into their hands the technology to extract every piece of information from your minds weren't ready, so they put five of you into cryostatis and it worked well."

"What with the rest?"

"The task outgrew the Sci-Lore. All their subjects died on different stages of experiment."

"Vanille?"

"Was in cryostatis."

"Was? Does it mean they're bunglin' her head right now?"

"I don't know…"

"So why are we lyin' here?! She can die every minute!" Fang jumped out of the bed trying to dress herself up in hurry.

"We don't even know where to look for her. Think about it. What are you going to do? Run through the city, half naked, shouting her name? It would be rather them who find you, not the other way."

"So let it be like that. I'll get her out of that shit from inside."

Lightning froze looking at the brunette. She knew that there was no other way to prevent the brunette from throwing her life away than to come up with a better plan. Since the moment she found out about everything, she knew that this moment would come. As she was afraid - her head was empty, not even a glimpse of plan. Light looked severely into Fangs eyes and shook her head.

"No." Her voice was confident, peremptory. "I won't let you be a bait. We'll come up with something better."

"Waitin' for ideas, don't think we have much time."

"They won't let her die. They've lost half of you, the remaining five is too precious. They woke you up three years ago. You were the first who didn't die but they still messed up. You lost big part of your memory, they need all of your brain active to continue the process so were trying to fix you for last few months. They won't do the same mistakes with her."

Fang rose her hand to massage the pulsing temple, her head was spinning and forced her to sit down. The headache – that was another reason why Lightning needed to wait for suitable moment to explain everything to the Oerban. She immediately appeared at the side of the brunette but it didn't seem as bad as last time.

"Alright?" The Pale hand tucked a strand of dark hair behind an ear with atypical for the sergeant affection.

"Yeah, it's been worse." Deep breath make her feel a bit better. Nothing would force her to drop the topic in that moment. "It doesn't make sense… They were watchin' me. Why didn't they take me back earlier if I was so precious?"

"They couldn't make your brain regenerate but it seemed that living normal life was the exact stimulation your brain needed. You also have... some device in your head…"

"What?!"

"It was meant to quicken and register the recovery progress. It sends a signal two times a day with a summary but the signal reaches only the range of two kilometers. There was always someone watching you… if not directly someone was in range of two kilometers and exactly knew where you were."

"How can I get rid of that thing?!" She dug her fingers into a scalp, growling out of frustration. The pulsing in her head driving her mad.

"No… Fang… Don't do anything stupid. You'll get rid of that as fast as we know how. Don't you dare trying to do something on your own." Light knew Fang is smart but was no sure that her bad temper wasn't able to overpower the common sense.

"Etro… this is all so fucked up…"

"It is."

"How do ya know all of that?"

"Hope got into the computer of their lead scientist. There is a lot more of that, I didn't have time to read it all, only scanned the most important threads. Memory card is in my leg bag, maybe we could find there any clue where Vanille and the rest are held."

"Seems like our only option."