Chapter Thirteen

So don't miss me too much. RL and all that bull shit is well, just that bull shit. Eff grades, eff teachers and eff school. I'm like two months away from graduating and at this rate I'll flunk out before then.

*sigh*

On with it.

Edward cringed as he started to wake up. His back hurt like a bitch and dammit if his neck had a kink in it. He hated the shit out of the stupid hospital chairs, the metal fuckers really weren't meant for ass to seat contact. Or back to chair, or neck to nonexistent headrest.

Bastards.

Using the metal arms to push himself off the hard-as-fuck seat, Edward stood up and leaned back, sighing as his spine cracked back into place. His face was itchy, his back probably had permanent damage and he would quite honestly kill for food that actually tasted like food. The slop the hospital calls "food" is what food eats.

"Edward?"

His head snapped to his right and there, surrounded by plastic this-that-and-the-other-things was his reason for suffering the terrible amenities the hospital really doesn't offer. He stalked over to the bed, carefully pushing a few stray tendrils of Bella's hair off her forehead.

She smiled so obviously at his touch, her cheek turning into his palm. "Mornin'." He offered, leaving his hand on her face. There was no way in hell he was going to stop touching her.

No. Way.

"When can I get out of here?" She asked quietly, her hands tugging on the bed-sheet.

Reluctantly Edward dropped his hand, passing it through his hair instead. "I'll go ask the doctor." And with that he spun on his heel, and stalked out of the hospital room.

He flagged down the first white-coat he saw and let out a huge sigh when the man said this afternoon.
Edward dry-washed his face as he walked back into Bella's room. Aside from the pain fucking everywhere, he felt conflicted in every possible way. He wanted to crawl into bed with Bella, hold her in his arms and know she was okay. But he couldn't do that. And it hurt, physically fucking hurt his heart to not be near her.

She's still married.

Edward shook his head at himself, forcing his feet to walk him back into the damn hospital room.
He really had no idea what to do once Bella checked out of the hospital. That was really the only reason he forced his feet to move. The fuckers were practically glued to the floor. He didn't want to lose her again. But fuck him, he thought he had a chance. The bastard was gone and now he could swoop in and take complete advantage of her vulnerable state.

Take what was rightfully his.

He wracked his brain on what he could do and three options came to mind.

One: Take Bella back to his apartment and hold her until the kink in his back starts to irritate him, but not let go because he'd be fucking holding Bella.

Two: Kill James, then continue with option one.

Three: Drop her off at her apartment and stay outside like a lost puppy dog until she comes to her senses and seeks him out.

While option two was the most appealing of the lot, he couldn't handle jail time again because 20-life away from Bella, only ten minute increments daily for visiting time.

Not. Okay.

One look at Bella all curled up and broken on that fucking hospital bed sold him.

Option one it is.

~oOo~

As he carefully led Bella out of the hospital doors, Edward mentally and physically slapped his forehead. His car was at work. Six mother fucking miles away. Six miles he ran not five days ago.
Because of his inner ramblings, his feet seemed to stop what they were doing and plant themselves on the sidewalk of the hospital.

"Everything okay?" Bella asked in a quiet voice.

The scrubs they had given her to wear home were baggy as hell on her petite little frame and the helpless look in her eye just about ripped Edward's heart from his chest. All he wanted to do was follow through with option one and hug the everloving shit out of her until she relaxed in his arms and chose him.

"My car isn't here." He blurted out.

Bella cocked her head to the side as she wrapped her arms around herself, confusion all over her eyebrows. "Then where is it?"

Edward couldn't control the color rising to his cheeks as he told her it was six miles away.

"Then how the hell did you get here? Did you take a cab?"

Edward scratched the stubble under his chin, avoiding her eyes. "I might have run the six miles. Well at least sprinted the first little bit 'cause adrenaline is a beautiful fucking thing lemme tell ya. But damn, downhill or flat land it's a bitch of a run. Fucking smoker's lung bit my ass the entire-"

"You ran?"

Edward rocked back on his heels as he nodded the affirmative. He wasn't sure whether she was pissed or something else entirely. But when tears started to form in the corner of her deep brown eyes, he carefully took her face in his hands and silently willed her emotions to be more specific.

"What did I do wrong?"

Did he remind her of something James had done? Or hell, something he had done years ago? Fuck, if he opened that big a can of worms from talking about fucking running there was no way in hell there would ever be a normal with Bella.

"Nothing." She whispered, bringing her hands up to her face. "You did absolutely nothing wrong."
If he didn't fuck up, then why the fuck was she still visibly upset? "Then please fucking tell me why you're crying. I can fix it Bella, I swear, I just need to know why you're crying." His voice had gotten annoyingly frantic by the end of that line and dammit if he didn't care at the moment.

Bella maneuvered her head out of the hold his palms had and used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her face dry. "You keep doing so much for me Edward. You're practically offering the world when all I have is a severely broken soul. I don't deserve anything you're giving me."

Edward felt every muscle in his body tense at her words. "Bella, for fucks sake, I'm not this good fucking guy you're making me out to be. I'm a fuck up who's been in jail more than he's been out of it. Can't fucking afford real food on account of my fucking nicotine addiction and on top of that I'm still-"

In love with you.

"You're still what?"

Edward passed his fingers through his hair, practically tearing out the edges as he tried to process what just happened.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Nothing, just forget I said anything."

"Edward..."

He pulled away from her outstretched arm, opting instead to pat himself down for his smokes. He scowled as his hands turned up nothing, wishing a fresh pack would magically appear somewhere on his person.

The last thing he needed right now was to be without nicotine for a week straight and be expected to hide his mother fucking feelings.

"Look, we should just- I'll call a cab." He hurried past her, hating himself for leaving her on the sidewalk. He quickly used the payphone in the doorway of the hospital, praying the fucker would get here soon.

"Will you please talk to me?" She pleaded, twisting her hands in front of herself.

Edward waved his hands, dismissing her comment completely. "Don't worry about it. Look, I'm gonna-I want you to... We're gonna go back to my place for the night."

Bella just nodded her head, her body falling into a submissive posture.

Fuck him. Fuck him everywhere and anywhere. To say Edward hated himself was an understatement. He couldn't do anything right.

And fuck him, anywhere because like it or not, he still loved Bella. To the point where time and distance and pain and mistakes didn't fucking matter. All that mattered was that she was his. And it was his mission to make that happen one way or a-fucking-other.

So it's long, right? And yeah, twss.

But anyway, next chappie at Edward's with Bella, in BPOV. Get ready.

Shit. Is. Gonna. Get. Real.

In a while.

STAY WITH ME. PLEASE?

Reviews are better than missions.