How to Change a Life
Once Ash turned the corner, he picked up the speed of his strides to almost a light jog. His emotions were beginning to overwhelm him and he wanted to get to the restroom so that he could do something that would hopefully help him calm himself.
Ash quickly entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and turned on the cold water faucet. He then brought his face down and began splashing the water onto his face. He let his breaths become deeper and deeper as for some reason, his emotions had rendered him temporarily breathless.
After a few moments of doing this and finally recapturing his breath, he looked up to the mirror in front of him, his hands holding himself up on either side of the sink.
Still taking deep breaths in order to keep his newly reclaimed breath, he looked at himself. He inadvertently studied his face, noticing every detail. He hated it, but he could always see it...
He could always see his father in himself.
While he had gotten most of his facial features from his mother, Ash could still see traces of what he remembered his father to look like. Just the thought alone made him sick to his stomach. He hated that when he was in a state like this, even the sight of his own face made him incredibly angry.
In reality, his face looked much more like his mothers's than his father's, but Ash's mind was never rational when he was under this kind of emotional duress.
After a few moments, he forced himself to look straight into his own eyes. This was the one thing that he could never see his father in. As they say, the eyes are the window to the soul, and Ash found that to be incredibly true. And Ash kept his soul pure and untainted, while his father couldn't say the same. His eyes were his own, the one thing that always served to remind him that he wasn't his father.
Though when in this state of mind, his eyes would always drift back to the small details that reminded him most of the man who walked out on them so long ago.
Ash was lost looking in his own reflection when he heard a soft knock on the door, causing him to jump slightly.
"Ash...?" The young trainer immediately recognized the soft voice to be May's. "Ash...are you okay...?"
Before Ash even thought about responding, he quickly grabbed the hand towel hanging from a rack next to him and dried his face.
Ash didn't respond verbally, which worried May immensely. She was about to speak again when she noticed the door begin to open. She saw Ash on the other side, whom was returning to his previous position at the sink. May could tell that he was inviting her into the large bathroom, so she entered and closed the door behind her.
May moved slowly until she stood directly next to Ash in front of the mirror. She quickly realized that Ash wouldn't look at her, so she met the man's gaze in the mirror.
"Ash...please tell me you're okay..." May pleaded with the man, feeling her own emotions welling up inside of her; Ash's pain seemed to be hurting her almost as much as it did him. Though, she forced these negative emotions back, knowing she needed to stay strong for Ash right now.
Ash didn't respond for a few moments, instead he simply kept his gaze locked with May's in the mirror. Though after just a few seconds, he let out a sigh and dropped his head before lifting it again and turning to face May, meeting her real gaze.
He showed her a weak smile. It was weak, but it was real, May noticed.
"I'm okay, May. Really..." Ash told the woman softly, truthfulness evident in his voice. Knowing this was a terrible place to be having what could be considered a bit of a breakdown, he was trying to force himself past it.
Seeing that May was still looking at him with an incredible amount of concern, he continued. "Normally, I wouldn't react this strongly to just a passing mention of him. I'm usually at least semi-okay when someone brings up my father. But with everything that's happened, and because I talked about it so recently, hearing him mentioned just brought back some old feelings."
As he finished speaking, he immediately realized that what he said might give May the wrong idea. "But please don't misinterpret what I said. I don't regret telling you in the slightest. You're my best friend, and I want you to know everything about me. So please, don't think that I meant it that way."
May smiled softly at the man's words. "I know, Ash. And I'm so glad that you told me. I want you to know everything about me as well. But right now, all I want is for you to be okay..."
The concern coating May's words warmed his heart and comforted him a bit. He felt that he wanted to get a few things off of his chest, and he knew that May would be here to listen.
Ash let out another deep sigh before beginning. "Like I said, some old feelings have resurfaced. Just a lot of very powerful, very negative emotions. I'm usually decent at controlling them, but for some reason, it just hit me harder than normal today."
Ash then turned his gaze off of May and brought it back to the mirror, with May following his lead.
Ash shook his head as he spoke again. "And lately, every time I look into a mirror...all I see is my dad. I know that I'm not him, and that I will never be like him, but seeing the similarities between us makes my blood boil."
Ash felt the anger rising in his body once again and clenched his fists tightly. Seeing this, May reached for his right hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, causing him to release the tight grip.
As much as May's touch comforted him, he needed this hand to dig through his pocket to find something; he had something he wanted to do. May noticed him reach into the back pocket of his pants. Having never seen him do this before, she had no idea what Ash was searching for.
It wasn't long before Ash pulled out what looked to be an old, folded up picture. Unfolding it, he handed it to May.
"Here, take a look...You see the similarities, right?" Ash questioned. He wasn't sure why he was doing this, but he felt that he had to for some reason.
May studied the picture after Ash asked his question, her eyes widening just slightly as she realized what it was of. It was a family photo, of Ash, an even younger looking Delia...and a man May could only assume was Ash's father. They had the same hair color and style, which was the biggest indicator that he was Ash's dad.
"Ash?" May lifted her gaze from the picture and looked to Ash, who was already looking at her. "Why do you keep this with you?"
May was curious as to why Ash would keep a reminder of the man whom he hated so much on his person at what she assumed to be at all times.
Ash let out a dark chuckle and shook his head, looking back into the mirror. Though, he seemed to be looking through it rather than in it.
"As much as I hate that bastard for what he did, for some stupid reason...I still find myself wishing sometimes. Hoping that someday...we might be able to be a family again. All of us." Ash spoke solemnly, hating himself for caring about his father at all.
May felt tears building up in her eyes as she listened to what Ash had to say. She couldn't even imagine how hard it would be to grow up without a father. To hate someone that you're conditioned to love. And May could clearly tell that Ash hated the fact that he still held out hope for his father, and that broke her heart even further.
"Well...you see it, right?" Ash asked the brunette, looking at himself in the mirror once again while referring to how him and his father looked alike. Then, he motioned toward his reflection in the mirror. "What do you see...?"
Bringing out the old family photograph had made Ash lose the hold he was starting to regain on his emotions. He didn't know why he did it, but he truly felt that he had to.
May sniffled and wiped the corners of her eyes, trying to compose herself so that she'd be able to help Ash. May then studied the picture for a few moments, looking at the face of Ash's father, studying it. Admittedly, she could see some similarities such as their hair color, but she could see much more of Delia in him than his father, at least in terms of physical features. But May knew that this was deeper than that. That it represented so much more than just physical characteristics...
At this moment she found what she wanted to say. She just hoped it would be able to help her best friend. May looked from the picture and met Ash's gaze in the mirror once again.
"You wanna know what I see when I look at you...?" May asked rhetorically, pausing for just a moment to gather her thoughts completely. "When I look at you, I see a million different things...Strength, courage, selflessness, enthusiasm, joyfulness, a wonderfully kind person...a handsome man...Ash, what I see when I look at you, when anyone looks at you, are all of the qualities you have that make you the amazing person that you are. So maybe your dad and you share some features, but that doesn't mean anything, and you should know that."
May paused herself and forced Ash's body to turn and face her so that they were looking into each others eyes instead of doing as such in the mirror.
"Ash, you're father made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving...because now, he'll never get to see the absolutely incredible man you've become." May spoke softly and sweetly, her words coming from the deepest part of her heart. Knowing that the mood was extremely heavy, May allowed herself to giggle and joke a bit. "And besides, you look much more like your mother anyway. And good thing too, since she was able to give you at least some of her good looks."
Ash couldn't help but let out a chuckle at Mays words, lifting both his own, and May's spirits. Ash was feeling a million times better after hearing what May had said. She just had a way with words with him, just as he did with her. For some reason, the two understood each other perfectly, and that was a recipe for success when one of them was in need.
"You know, before I met you, I almost never talked about what I was dealing with, what I was feeling. Like my mom said, for so long I was so focused on everyone else that I let myself forget that sometimes, I need help too. And it wasn't due to lack of people to talk to...I just never brought it up for some reason. But with you...I don't know what it is. You just get things out of me that no one else ever has." Ash spoke softly, his eyes's locked with May's. "And god am I thankful for that."
When Ash finished speaking, he moved himself forward and captured May in an embrace. May didn't hesitate for a second as if he hadn't done it when he did, she was about to hug him. The two stayed like that for a good while, simply enjoying each other's comforting touch and presence.
While still in the hug, Ash had something he very much wanted to say. "I am so glad that I met you, May Maple."
May smiled brightly into Ash's chest at the man's words before pulling her head back just slightly so that her words wouldn't be muffled. "And I am so glad that I met you, Ash Ketchum."
The two remained in their embrace for a few moments longer. Ash, much like May, wanted to get over the heavy mood that still hung in the air. So, with a teasing tone, Ash spoke. "So...you think I'm handsome, eh?"
May chuckled into his chest, her face going slightly red, before finally releasing the man and slapping him on the arm. The two shared a short laugh before Ash's face fell soft, yet serious once again.
"Because I think you're beautiful, May. Both inside and out." Ash spoke sincerely, causing the blush to return to May's face incredibly quickly.
While Ash had called her beautiful before, this time he'd not only complimented her appearance, but also her character and personality, and that meant the world to her. Ash's words successfully made May feel truly beautiful.
May shook her head and laughed at the sappy comment, though Ash knew that she very much appreciated it.
"Come on cheese ball, I'm sure the others are worried." May teased him over his 'cheesy' line as she pulled one of Ash's arms to get him moving.
Everyone in the kitchen was relieved when they saw both Ash and May returning, both appearing to be in a much better state than they were when they left. Ash especially had done a complete 180, he actually had a smile on his face. Though, that smile was a very apologetic one.
The two returned to their seats and before anyone could say anything, Ash spoke up. "I'm very sorry for what just happened. Norman, Max, Caroline, I shouldn't have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, especially since you've opened up your home to me. I am truly sorry for ruining this lovely dinner that you and Brock worked so hard on." Ash bowed and spoke sincerely, truly feeling bad about what'd happened.
Neither Norman nor Caroline could believe he was actually apologizing for this. But the look on his face and the manner in which he'd spoken told them that he was being entirely sincere with his apology. Caroline couldn't help but giggle, once again incredibly impressed by the man's character.
"Ash, please don't apologize. It's not your fault. And you didn't ruin anything, I promise." Caroline reassured the boy in a motherly tone, earning a thankful smile from Ash.
"Caroline is right, you have nothing to apologize for." Norman added, causing all eyes to fall on him. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry for bringing up a sensitive topic. I just didn't know."
Ash smiled gratefully at the father before shaking his head. "It's okay, Norman, you don't have to apologize. There was no way you could've known."
Norman nodded and shot a thankful gaze Ash's way, earning a nod in response. It was then that Brock decided to ask Ash a question that'd been on his mind since he left for the restroom.
"Ash, why did you react so strongly this time? I mean, there's always some reaction whenever he comes up, but you're usually over it after just a few seconds." Brock explained his thought process, causing Ash to sigh.
"You can say the word 'father', I'm okay now. And to answer your question, it's just been on my mind more than usual as of late. After the accident and telling May the whole story, some old emotions resurfaced and made it hard to be reminded of him." Ash revealed to Brock while everyone else listened in. "But I'm getting past that now, all thanks to May."
The two close friends shared a smile. May was incredibly glad that she could be there for him as he was for her.
"Well I'm glad that you're able to move past it." Caroline spoke happily. Though, like Norman and Max, they were very curious as to what Ash's father had done to make him feel the way he did when he would be brought up.
Ash, feeling comfortable now that he was back in control of himself, was pondering as to if he should reveal to the Maple's what'd happened in his past, his most private story. His heart was telling him that being able to talk about it openly would help him move past it for good. It'd been over 13 years since his father left, and he didn't want his terrible act to keep a hold of him any longer.
"I think it's only fair that you know why my father is such a sensitive topic with me..." Ash said, breaking the momentary silence. Both Brock and May's eyes widened in surprise, wondering why he was thinking this; they were the only two people he'd ever told since it'd happened all those years ago but now, it seemed that he had no problem telling others.
"Ash, it's okay. You really don't have to tell us..." Caroline spoke for herself, as well as her family. The last thing any of them wanted was for Ash to be uncomfortable, and they were worried that he might be feeling pressured into telling them for some reason.
Ash smiled gratefully at the mother of two before nodding his head. "I know, Caroline. But I want to tell you. I can't let what happened keep this hold on me forever. I've been taking small steps to get past this whole life, and I think me being more open about it is one of the final things I have to do. Plus, you're May's family and I trust her with my life, which means I trust you all as well."
May smiled warmly at Ash's words. Everyone accepted his reasoning, with May and Brock finally understanding why he was willing to share. Both friends smiled toothlessly at the courage Ash was showing. He was facing what he feared most head on, and they knew that this would help him take back total control of his feelings.
"I'll spare you the more unimportant details. There's a lot I could say, but there's really no need." Ash prefaced. He then took a long, deep breath before continuing. "When I was 6 years old, my father walked out on my mom and I. He abandoned us..."
The three who hadn't known the story gasped at the revelation. The topic of Ash's father hadn't come up during her conversation with Delia earlier that week; herself and Norman simply assumed that they were either divorced, or he just couldn't come all the way to Hoenn at the time.
"To this day, I still don't know why he did it, and I think that's a big part of why I haven't been able to get past it yet." Ash rationalized, everyone understanding his reasoning. "But I know I'll probably never get closure, and I've accepted that now. But it doesn't matter, because I'm not going to let the man who abandoned the family he supposedly loved have any control over my life anymore. I don't have any family other than my mother, but my mom and I have each other, and that's always been enough for us."
Ash finished speaking with conviction, instantly becoming glad that he was now able to have this mindset. He was already feeling better about the whole thing. Of course it was going to take some more time, but this was a huge step, and Ash knew that.
"I'm so sorry you had to experience that, Ash. No one should have to go through something like that, especially at such a young age." Max offered his condolences. The young man couldn't even begin to imagine life without his father.
"You're right, Ash." Caroline started, gaining the attention of everyone at the table. "You and your mother are obviously very close, but she's not you're only family, you know...?"
Most everyone was confused by what Caroline had said, save for one person, Ash, who could tell what she meant by her statement.
Ash smiled toothlessly and smiled at the woman. "You're right. I've met a lot great people during my travels. People that have become my closest friends...my family. And I'm so happy to say that I have two of those people here with me right now."
Ash words made the others realize the meaning behind Caroline's words. Both Brock and May smiled at what Ash had to say, knowing that he was referring to them. Obviously, they weren't related by blood, but their bonds were just as deep as family, and that was all that mattered.
"And you're always welcome in our home, Ash. You too, Brock." Norman told the men.
Caroline and May found themselves surprised by the man's words. Even despite the fact that they knew he liked both men, Ash especially, hearing him say something like this was still very much unlike him. This was especially true considering Ash was a boy around May's age.
"If you're ever in the area, and you need anything at all, you can always come here. You've proven yourself to have a pure heart and to be a very genuine, respectful person. You saved my daughter's life, almost losing yours in the process. You're a good man Ash, and you'll always be welcome here." Norman finished his face conveying his sincerity.
Brock wasn't offended in the slightest that Norman had only said these things to Ash. After all he'd done for their family, he understood completely. Plus, he was aware that this invitation extended to him as well.
Ash smiled at the head of the Maple household and nodded his head gratefully. He wasn't going to lie, sometimes it was hard having only his mother to rely on, especially when he was younger and had almost no friends.
But now, he had met so many wonderful people that truly cared about him. He knew it wasn't just him and his mom anymore, his family had expanded immensely, and would only continue to grow as time went on.
May, Caroline and Max smiled at Norman's words. It was a bit strange as Norman wasn't exactly known for his way with words nor his way with people in general but this time, he'd said all that needed to be said.
"You have no idea how grateful I am for that, Norman. Thank you. Thank all of you. You've made me feel incredibly welcomed, and I can't thank you enough for that. You're a wonderful family full of equally wonderful people, and I'm glad that I got the chance to meet all of you." Ash spoke sincerely, feeling a bit emotional. Both Caroline and May found their own emotions growing as they heard the emotion in Ash's own voice.
"Who would've though that falling off of that cliff would turn out to be one of the best things that's ever happened to me." Ash said truthfully, causing everyone to laugh, including himself.
"I've already told you this Ash, but I'll say it again. The day I met you turned out to be the greatest day of my life, and that's all thanks to you." May told the raven haired trainer, the both of them sharing a soft smile.
Everyone smiled at what turned out to be an incredibly sentimental moment before finally returning to their dinners.
"Now, come on. Brock and I didn't make all of this food just to let it go to waste! Show us those famous stomachs of yours." Caroline teased at May and Ash, breaking the two out of their gaze. They were both happy to comply as they returned to their food and began wolfing it down.
"So, Max. You're father and I are going to be having a battle tomorrow. I thought that might be something you'd be interested in seeing." Ash revealed to the young man, knowing it would excite him immensely.
Everyone chuckled as Max's eyes lit up at the news.
"That is going to be so awesome! I can't wait to watch that!" Max exclaimed before pausing and looking toward his father. "Are you exempting him from the badge requirement?"
Norman shook his head at his son's question. "No Max, the league wouldn't allow that. It's just gonna be a friendly exhibition battle. Just a 2 on 2, nothing fancy."
Max seemed to be becoming more excited as time went on. The boy then turned back to Ash. "What pokemon are you going to use!?"
"Sorry Max, but I can't tell you that. It would ruin the surprise." Ash teased, causing the boy to pout. Everyone giggled at the look. "Let's just say that since you watched me in the Indigo League, you may be seeing a familiar face or two..."
Ash's discreet revelation caused Max's face to pick back up as he tried to figure out what pokemon Ash would be using. He did this for just a few moments before calming himself down crossing his arms and shooting a confident smirk toward Ash.
"I guess it doesn't really matter in the end. Either way, my dad is going to take you down! You're good, but definitely not good enough to beat my dad." Max spoke confidently, causing his father to sweatdrop.
Ash simply chuckled at the boy's words, but May found herself becoming defensive over Ash and his abilities as a trainer.
"You're wrong, Max! Ash is more than good enough to beat dad, and he's going to do just that! Just you wait!" May retorted back to her brother, causing him to stare at her in a mixture of shock and anger.
"You're gonna root for Ash over dad!?" Max asked incredulously. Despite liking Ash, Max couldn't help but feel like this was like a betrayal to the family. Though, he was the only one who felt this way; his admiration of his father was clearly the driving factor behind this feeling.
"So what if I am?" May responded back. Everyone could tell that another bickering session between the siblings was on the horizon.
"I know Ash is your best friend, but dad is...your dad! How could yo-"
"Max, calm down. It's fine." Norman cut his son off, hoping to stop this before it started.
Max looked his dad with confusion. "But dad, it's-"
"Max...It's okay. Ash and May are very close friends, and she just wants to see her friend succeed. And frankly, I'm just excited to battle him. I haven't had a worthy opponent in a while. Win or lose, it's going to be an incredible battle." Norman cut off his son once again, really trying to ingrain into his son's mind that it didn't matter who anyone was rooting for in the match. All that mattered was the thrill of the battle, the love for the sport.
Max begrudgingly accepted his father's words, still feeling that May should be rooting for her own father, no matter how much she cared about Ash. Though, he supposed he would just have to root extra hard for his father if May was going to jump ship to Ash's team. And besides, he was now simply looking forward to what was going to be a fantastic battle.
Once Norman finished speaking to his son, Ash smirked at the older man. "I'm honored that you think I'm a worthy opponent. And you'll see just how 'worthy' I am tomorrow."
Norman met the man with a confident smirk of his own, very much enjoying the sense of competition. "We'll just have to see about that, now won't we."
The two stared at each other competitively for a few more moments before they were broken out of their stare off by the voice of Caroline.
"Oh enough you two." Caroline started jokingly. "No competition at the dinner table."
Everyone laughed at the mother's words before they returned to their meals. By this time, everyone was just finishing up.
"I must say, you guys really outdid yourself with this dinner." May said, referring to Brock and Caroline.
"I owe a lot of that to Brock. He really knows his way around a kitchen." Caroline complimented the man.
"Hey, when you grow up taking care of as many brothers and sisters as I did, you're forced to learn pretty quick." Brock revealed, earning another laugh from the table
"Well, I have to go clean up the gym and prep it for tomorrow. Brock, Ash, would you care to join Max and I?" Norman offered the two men, who happily accepted the offer.
Though before they could leave the table, both Ash and Brock realized that they had to take care of the dish situation first.
"How about we meet you out there after we help clean up the dishes?" Brock questioned, not wanting to simply leave the mess on the table for the girls.
"Yeah, we can't just leave our stuff here for Caroline and May to deal with." Ash added.
Both Caroline and May smiled at the sentiment, but this was typically how it went before May'd left for her journey. After dinner, Max and Norman would go fix up the gym while Carline and May would handle the dishes. Though when Norman had a day off the following day, he would take over dish duty to give Caroline and May a break.
"I appreciate the offer to help, but there's really no need. You guys go help in the gym. May and I can handle this." Caroline insisted to the boys.
"Are you sure?" Ash asked, just to be completely certain.
"Yeah, it's no big deal. Plus, prepping the gym is quite a bit of work, so having an couple extra sets of hands will surely help get the job done faster than normal." May added. She'd had to help prep the gym a few times before and she did not enjoy it in the slightest. It could be fairly labor intensive at times, and that was not something she wanted right after she'd eaten an incredible amount of food. It was safe to say that May very much preferred dish duty.
After receiving confirmation, both Ash and Brock nodded their heads and stood to follow Norman and Max to the gym.
Once they were out of sight, Caroline and May went to work clearing the table. It wasn't too long before all the dishes were in the sink, ready to be scrubbed. It was mundane work, which left plenty of time to talk to each other.
"So what did you say to Ash when you went off to talk to him?" Caroline questioned, having been wondering this since they'd come back from the restroom. Whatever it was, it'd obviously worked very well.
May smiled at her mother's question as she worked on drying a glass. "I just said some things that he needed to hear. I don't know why or how, but Ash and I are just connected somehow, and very deeply. It's like we both always know the exact right thing to say to each other when we need to hear it the most."
Caroline smiled at her daughter's explanation. It was incredibly obvious that they two were connected in some way on a deep level, and Caroline was more than happy of this.
"He's been able to help me a lot. And not just with the whole saving my life thing...Like I said, it just seems like we know what to say to each other, and he's said those things for me as much as I have for him, plus so much more." May continued before her mother could speak. May smiled sweetly as she remembered all the great times herself and Ash had already had, even if most of those moments had taken place in a hospital room.
"Well, he's clearly a very good person. And he's a handsome young thing too." Caroline teased, causing May to blush just slightly, which didn't go unnoticed by her mother. "People like Ash are hard to find these days. I'm glad that you're close with someone like him."
May nodded her head at her mother's words, the smile never leaving her features. "Me too. I've never met anyone like him. He really is one of a kind."
"So... you really like him, huh?" Caroline asked knowingly, smirking all the while.
There were very clear implications behind the her mother's words, but May tried her best to ignore them.
"O-Of course I do. I mean, he did save my life. And he's the first person I can really call a best friend..." May responded, playing dense in what was an almost comically unsuccessful attempt.
"You know what I mean, May. You really like him, don't you...?" Caroline asked again, this time putting emphasis on the key word. Seeing that May wasn't responding, Caroline gave her daughter a bit of a push. "Come on May, it's me. You used to tell me everything. You know whatever you say to me stays between us, no matter what."
May processed her mother's words, knowing that she was right. Her mother was always her confidant growing up; she would tell her almost everything, only excluding her true intentions behind her journey.
After realizing this, May allowed a smile to return to her red face as she chuckled and shook her head. "You know, you're like the third person to figure it out...?"
"The others are Delia and Brock I assume?" Caroline asked almost rhetorically, earning a nod from May. "For me and Delia, you can chalk it up to mother's intuition. And I can already tell that Brock is a perceptive person, so that makes sense as well."
May simply giggled once again at her mother's words before her smile turned soft and sweet and she stopped drying off the plate that was currently in her hand.
"Yes, mom... I do. I really, really like him. A lot." May's admittance of her feelings forced Caroline to have to hold in a squeal of excitement. To her knowledge, this was the first time her daughter had ever had these types of feelings for anyone, and she was elated, especially since her feelings were for a man she already liked and could trust.
"He's just so different from everyone else I've ever met. Sure, Brock is a great friend and person, but it's just different with Ash somehow. He's funny, kind, selfless and as you say, 'a handsome young thing'." May teased her mother with the last part, pausing so that the two women could giggle for a moment. "He's so caring... And he makes me feel more safe, more comfortable than I ever have in my life. I've only known him for a few weeks, but it feels like I've known him all my life."
"I've never connected with anybody like I have with Ash, and he feels the same way in that regard. I really, really care for him, Mom. Meeting him was one of the best things that's happened in my life thus far. So yes, at the very least, I like him." May finished sincerely, relishing in what she was feeling.
"Oh May, that's wonderful! I'm so happy. Your first real crush!" Caroline squealed with excitement, making sure to keep her voice down just to be cautious.
"Mom..." May drew out the one syllable word in embarrassment.
"I'm sorry honey, it's just such fantastic news! I know that you never got along with any of the boys here in Petalburgh, so I'm incredibly happy that you've found someone you can care so deeply for." Caroline told her daughter.
"Most of the guys here are jerks. None of them cared about me as a person, all they saw when they looked at me was a body with a famous last name." May spat, disgusted as she thought back to some of the guys she'd had to deal with over the years.
Caroline looked at her daughter sympathetically. "I know, May. But that's the wonderful part of a pokemon journey. There are so many great people out there to meet and become friends with, and it seems to me that you lucked out and found a couple of the best on your first day..."
May smiled as she thought over her mother's words. She really did feel lucky having met Ash on that day, and May didn't have a hard time believing he was one of the best people out there. She also felt extremely grateful to have met Brock as well, knowing that their friendship would surely last forever.
"Ash likes me for who I am as a person, not just my appearance. He's not concerned with how I look, or who my father is. The only thing he cares about is what's in my heart, and that's the most wonderful feeling in the world. He cares about me, and he makes me feel special. I have no idea if he feels the same way I do but right now, I really can't bring myself to care. I'm more than happy just being the best of friends with him for the foreseeable future." May said to her mother, causing her to smile with joy.
May meant all of what she was saying. Though, there was one thing she wasn't exactly certain of, even when the words had come out of her mouth. If she was being honest, she did care if Ash felt the same way she did. That being said, rushing into anything could be one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever make, and she knew that. This is what brought about the comment of simply staying friends for the time being.
"Well I think Ash is a wonderful man. Heck, even your father thinks so! It feels so unnatural, him actually liking a boy around your age." The two shared a laugh at the truthfulness behind Caroline's words. "We both really like Ash a lot, Max too. I am so glad that he's the person you have feelings for...because you only deserve the best."
May smiled sweetly at Caroline before hugging her mother tightly. She was so happy that her mother approved of her feelings, not that she'd doubted it. She knew that Ash was going to be loved by her family; the only outlier being her father, but she even managed to convince herself that he would like him and she was happy to say that she had been right.
"Thinking about it now, it does make a lot of sense." Caroline started, both herself and May picking up their sponge and towel respectively as they went back to scrubbing and drying the dishes. Despite them working, May had her eyes on her mother as she waited for her to continue. "I mean, the very first time you met him, he literally saved your life. It's kind of like the whole 'knight in shining armor' thing, you know?"
May thought about it for a second before she let a happy smile cross her lips. She remember how not long ago, she thought that this concept only appeared in fairytales. But now, she was beginning to think other wise.
"I guess it is kind of like that, isn't it? And while that event certainly didn't hurt things, that's not the reason I have feelings for him. In my mind, an event like that creates gratitude, not true feelings. He's everything that I could ever want in a guy. And I love just talking to him, being around him more than anything. He makes me feel so happy and safe. That's why I have feelings for him." May explained to her mother.
Caroline smiled sweetly at her daughter words. She was glad that May had feelings for Ash, and that they were for the right reasons.
"But like I said, I'm not going to be focusing on that too much for the time being. I've never been happier than I am right now, and I don't want to screw things up by rushing into things." May added, earning a nod of approval from her mother.
"I think that's a good idea, sweetie. And from the outside looking in, it's obvious that Ash likes you too. I don't know if it's in that way, but he definitely loves being around you. And I wouldn't be even the slightest bit surprised if he does feel the same way as you." Caroline told her daughter, causing a stupid smile to spread on her face as she thought of the possibility of this becoming reality. "So, are you going to ask to travel with him?"
May snapped out of her dreamy state when her mother spoke, causing her face to drop just slightly. But quickly, she picked herself back up and nodded her head.
"Yeah, I am. There's no way I can say goodbye to him just like that. And I think having Ash and Brock with me on my first journey would help me a lot. Plus, it'll be much better than traveling alone would've been..." May paused, wondering how she'd ever even considered traveling by herself now that she had such good friends. "I'm going to ask him before they leave, I'm just a little nervous..."
"What are you nervous about, honey?" Caroline questioned her daughter, hoping she'd be able to alleviate whatever her concerns she had.
May sighed before responding. She couldn't tell her mother the whole truth, that she was traveling for a different reason than Ash which in turn could end up being a nuisance to his traveling schedule, but she still wanted to answer as truthfully as she could.
"It's just...I'm afraid that I'm going to slow him down. And that he's either going to resent me for that, or let it be and become burdened by me." May revealed to her mother.
"But May, aren't you taking on the gyms as well?" Caroline questioned, still under the impression that this was May's goal. May didn't respond, hating lying to her mother. "Wouldn't you be going the same way he is anyway?"
May quickly formulated a response in her mind that would allow her to keep her secret while still getting her justification out there.
"I just want to take my journey slow. I want to really experience everything, whereas Ash is so excited to simply battle the gyms. He'll probably want to rush from one city to the next." May said, looking down in sadness. "But despite all of this...I have to travel with him, Mom. I can't say goodbye to him."
"Oh, honey." Caroline put down the dish that was in her hand and embraced her daughter for a moment, noticing her sadness. After a few moments, the mother then pulled away, but kept her hands on her daughter's shoulders.
"May, I know you think your worries are justified, but I promise you they aren't." Caroline started bluntly. "May if there is one thing that I know for certain after seeing you and Ash together, it's that he loves being with you. And whether you're taking it slow or sprinting to each gym, I guarantee neither of you will care. Because you and Ash will be together, and that'll make the both of you incredibly happy. And considering how alike the two of you are, I bet Ash is worried about the same thing, and that's why he hasn't asked you yet. You don't have to worry about saying goodbye because you won't have to. So please May, ask him before he leaves, for both of your sakes."
Caroline removed her hands from her daughter's shoulders and went back to scrubbing away at the dish she'd began to wash before this had come up. May didn't return to her duties immediately, however. Instead she allowed herself to think about what her mother had said, to really process what she'd been told.
She knew it was more than likely an irrational fear that she had, but that's the thing about these types of fears, they're irrational. And even despite this, these fears often felt very real. The fact that the day Ash and Brock would leave on their journey was coming ever closer made this all the more stressful to May. That being said, this was also what made her mother's words mean so much.
Caroline had been incredibly reassuring with what she'd said. She already knew all of the things that her mother had told her, but hearing them said verbally allowed her to really underestimated them. To not have their true meanings blurred by fear and doubt. She was already adamant about asking Ash to travel with him, but this was the last push she needed to really cement that into her mind. She couldn't let him go, and if things went the way she was now thinking they would, she wouldn't have to.
May smiled as she picked up her cloth and began drying the dishes once again. "Thanks, Mom. Ash and Brock are staying 3 full days and leaving on the morning of the fourth day. I'm gonna tell him the day before he's supposed to leave. The day before we leave. And then, we're going to travel through Hoenn. Just me and the first two people I can call my best friends."
"And the person you're falling in love with..." Caroline added, a teasing smirk on her face. The mother turned her head just in time to see May's face go bright red.
She knew her mother was kidding around, but there that L word was again...Though she didn't allow herself to worry about it for long. It was still much too early to go throwing that word around as May was not cheap with the word 'love'. To May, someone should only say it when one truly means it and at the moment, her feelings were much too young and confusing to be certain of anything. Whatever her feelings were though, she was enjoying every second of it.
Plus, now she really didn't have to rush anything as they would be traveling together, she was all but certain of that at this point. There would be plenty of time for her relationships with both Ash and Brock to grow, as well as any feelings she may have...
While she loved teasing her daughter, Caroline could tell just how elated May was now that she had full confidence that this would play out in her favor. As a mother, she was more than happy she was able to help her daughter push past her fears.
The mother and daughter finished washing the dishes just a few minutes later, making menial conversation throughout. When they finished, the boys still hadn't returned from cleaning the gym. In fact, they wouldn't return for another 15 minutes, which showed just how much work that job really took.
When they arrived, all four guys were laughing at something. Both women were happy to see that they were all getting along, not that they thought that they wouldn't. Everyone greeted each other as they all stood in the kitchen.
Ash turned his smiling face to May, which made her smile in turn. "I know you say your brother is a nerd, but I swear he knows more about pokemon than I do!"
May couldn't help but chuckle at Ash's words while Ash stood proudly.
"That just proves my point!" May teased at her brother before bringing her gaze back to Ash. "He's already annoying, so don't go giving him a big head too."
Everyone shared a hearty laugh at May's words while Max pouted jokingly, for once not taking May's teasing too seriously; they were all just having fun, and even Max could put off the everlasting rivalry he had with his sister for a while.
Ash then wiped his brow, removing a small amount of sweat. "I had no idea running a gym was so much work. When you're on the outside looking in, all you really think about is battling challengers, not all the behind the scenes stuff."
Both Norman and Brock laughed at the man's words as they were painfully true. There was a lot more that went into being a Gym Leader than most people thought.
"Well, that was a pretty messy day. Yesterday, I had a battle that got pretty heated and it made a mess of the place. Normally, it doesn't take that long, even with just two people." Norman revealed to the man.
"But it's definitely a good amount of work every time. Between basically raising all of my brothers and sisters, doing the housework, and still trying to have some semblance of a life of my own, I barely had any time to clean up the gym everyday." Brock added, remembering his admittedly stressful times as the Gym Leader of Pewter City.
"Even still, I love what I do. Once Caroline and I decided to have a family, the only job I wanted to have was Gym Leader. So even if I have to spend a lot of time prepping the gym for challengers, I'll do it happily because it truly turned out to be my dream job." Norman told everyone of his passion. He then turned to Ash. "You ever thought about becoming a Gym Leader when the day comes for you to settle down?"
Everyone looked to Ash, curious of the response. Ash thought over the question momentarily, remembering that May had asked him this question earlier in the day. And because of this he'd already formulated his response. He obviously loved traveling and never really intended to become a Gym Leader, but he didn't want to discount the idea entirely.
Ash shrugged his shoulders before responding. "Who knows? Right now, the only thing I want to be is champion. You know, the best there is, the best there ever will be. Being a Gym Leader just never really interested me, especially since I love to travel so much. But who knows, maybe one day when I finally settle down, I'll get the urge to start up a gym."
Everyone smiled at the man's response. Surely, a day would come when Ash would stop traveling, no matter how far off in the future that day most certainly was. And they all thought that his accomplishments in his young one year career already made him a prime candidate.
"That's how I was when I was younger, actually. I never thought becoming a gym leader was in the cards for me, but things just sort of worked out that way. If you ever do decide to do so, let me know and I'll give you some tips." Norman told the raven haired trainer, with Brock adding that he would help as well.
"Thank you. But if that does happen, it won't be for a long while. I've only just started my journey and I have a long way to go before I can call myself the best. A Pokemon Master." Ash responded. Even though it wasn't an official title, Ash still loved the imaginary accomplishment of 'Pokemon Master'.
"Pokemon Master, huh...? I like the sound of that." Norman mentioned as he repeated the two words a few times in his mind.
"You've already taken a huge step toward your goal. You'll definitely do it one day, Ash. I can't wait to se you on top of it all." May told the man, who smiled appreciatively in response.
Norman then made his way over to Ash and May, standing between the two and draping his arms over both people's shoulder, which was a bit awkward as Ash was slightly taller than the older man.
"Maybe some day, you'll both be on top. But it looks like you have some catching up to do if you're gonna compete with Ash, huh May?" Norman spoke teasingly to his daughter, once again feeling elated that May finally decided to become a trainer.
May managed to force a smile, but she was feeling anything but happy at the moment. This was the second time this had been brought up just today and it was getting to her more and more each time. The only people who noticed her discomfort were Brock and Ash.
Ash discretely looked over at May in concern. He knew from what she'd told him, and the expressions she'd make when this subject would come up, that not telling her parents the truth was really affecting her badly. He needed to have that conversation with her sooner rather than later...
"Yeah, dad...That'd be great. Me and my best friend at the top of the mountain!" May put as much enthusiasm as she could into her voice, her acting being good enough to fool her family. But obviously, both Ash and Brock could hear the pain in her voice.
Norman then removed his arm from both Ash's and his daughter's shoulders before beginning to walk out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back down in a bit."
Everyone accepted Norman's words as they watched him disappear to his room.
As this went on, the rest of the people in the house realized that they didn't really have anything to do. Max suggested that they play video games in the living room, which Ash, Brock and May all agreed to do for a while. Though, neither Ash nor Brock could really enjoy the games all that much. It was obvious that May was still brooding over her situation in her mind. Ash wished he could just talk to her now, but he needed to wait for a time when they'd have more privacy.
Even still, the four played games together for a couple of hours before deciding to simply sit around and chat for a while. As expected, May was abnormally quiet during this time. But again, only her two close friends noticed this; most of the questions and talking points were about Ash and Brock anyway, so it wasn't very obvious that she wasn't jumping in all that often for a specific reason.
The first yawn occurred at around 10:00pm, and was followed closely by a few others.
"Boy am I'm tired. I think Norman and I are going to go to bed." Caroline told the others in the room, with norman agreeing. Everyone said their goodnights to the two parents before they headed off tot heir room.
Once they were out of sight, Max stood up as well. "I'm going to sleep too. I want to be well rested so that I can fully enjoy this battle tomorrow!"
With everyone else gone, Brock, Ash and May decided to head off to their designated sleeping spots as well. It'd been a fairly long day for them all and some sleep sounded fantastic, especially to Brock and May who would be sleeping in real beds again for the first time in a while.
"Goodnight, Ash. Sorry again about you having to sleep on the couch." May apologized once more, only to be waved off by Ash.
"May, it's seriously not a problem. Plus, your couches are super comfy. I'll fall right to sleep on this bad boy." Ash accentuated his point by laying out across the couch and putting his hands behind his head, a comfortable look on his face. His over exaggeration caused the brunette to giggle.
It was at this moment that May remembered something. "Hold on, I'll be right back."
With that said, May ran off up the stairs as indicated by the sound of her footsteps, leaving behind a slightly confused Brock and Ash. Though, they didn't have to stay this way for long as just a few moments later, May returned with a blanket and a couple of pillows, obviously for Ash.
May handed the items off to Ash, whom smiled gratefully at the act.
"I almost forgot to give you these. And they're extras, so don't feel bad about taking someone's pillows or something." May explained to the raven haired trainer, knowing how he was.
Ash nodded in understanding. "Thanks May, and goodnight. Goodnight to you too, Brock."
With this said, both May and Brock headed up the stairs, saying goodnights of their own when they reached the doors of their respective rooms. The two then performed their nightly rituals.
Ash was doing the same downstairs as he brushed his teeth and changed into his sleeping clothes. His pajamas consisted of a pair of black gym shorts and a fitted teeshirt. Normally, Ash would sleep with no shirt on, but he felt that this could possibly be considered inappropriate while in another person's home.
Despite prepping for bed, Ash didn't plan on going to sleep just yet. This was the perfect time for May and him to talk as they would finally be alone. He waited a few minutes to allow everyone to finish up their nightly rituals and make sure that they would be in their rooms before quietly walking up the stairs and approaching May's door, which he remembered the location of from the tour of the house he'd been given earlier in the day. He wanted to do this alone, so he left Pikachu down on the arm chair in the living room, already fast asleep.
Before he knocked on the door, Ash thought up a few things that he wanted to say to May about the topic that they were to discuss. Ash quickly decided to just go with the flow and say what was in his heart, which had always worked well for him in the past.
It was then that Ash knocked on the door, hoping that May was awake and ready to talk.
A/N: There's chapter 13! Sorry that it's a day late. Once again, getting readjusted to college and a very busy baseball practice schedule has me all over the place. So May got a chance to help Ash through one of the biggest obstacles in his life. And while this has helped Ash take a massive step forward, Ash's father will always be a topic of great pain for our favorite hero. That being said, he refuses to let the man who abandoned him have any influence over his life any longer. But there will always be that one question in the back of his mind, no matter how hard he tried to forget it...why did he leave? Why did he abandon the family he loved so much? Who knows if an answer will ever come?
I also gotta use this time to shoutout a certain someone who's provided a great amount of help in the direction that this story will go once the journey has begun. This person is also responsible with coming up with the base idea of what will probably end up being one of the biggest arcs of the story. So big thanks to ameyab97 for his contributions to this story. You all will see just how important his contributions to the story truly are once that part of the story is posted. Go heck him out and I definitely recommend reading "Finding the Hidden Feelings" once you're over at his page. I've read it all the way through and found it to be fantastic work.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review! it really motivates me! And any questions you may have, ask it in a review or PM me. If you have a question, I will always respond! See Ya!