The Old Ball Game
Xander had known this meeting was inevitable, and as the head of the North American branch of the NWASC it was his call as to how to handle things. He leaned back in his chair, put his feet on his desk and waited. It was less than a minute later when an armored man flew in through the window shattering the glass and the door to his office was turned into splinters by the combination of a large green fist and an enchanted hammer. He simply crossed his arms and waited while his office was invaded by the whole of the Avengers.
"Don't even think of moving!" Iron Man ordered, holding up a palm with a glowing circle on it.
Xander simply scratched under his eyepatch with his middle finger, making Hawkeye snicker.
"Hold your position," Captain America ordered as he tapped a button on his headset. "It's clear," he reported.
"Fury has bitten off more than he can chew," Xander warned.
"Like I'd listen to someone who enslaves young girls," Iron Man snorted.
Xander yawned deliberately, angering the people around him. "Old news from a defunct organization that we replaced, but then it's easier to manipulate people when you feed them half truths. Fury ready to come in yet, or do we have to wait some more?"
"I'm here," Fury said. "And, you're much too calm for a man in your position."
Xander raised an eyebrow. "My position? You mean being threatened by the latest group of thugs from the government who think might makes right?"
"I mean being the head of an organization responsible for the kidnapping and murder of countless young girls," Fury said smugly. "Your license to operate in the US is being revoked, and the girls will do more good working with us than they ever would under your care."
"If he'd worn a white eyepatch, they'd be reverse images of each-other," Iron Man quipped.
"It's after Labor Day," Xander replied. "And, Nicky here is about to receive some bad news concerning his attempted kidnappings."
Nick Fury frowned and touched a finger to his earbud as he heard the reports. "Where did they go?" he demanded.
"Anywhere but here," Xander replied, taking his feet off his desk and sitting up.
"I thought they were under visual surveillance," Captain America said.
"Illusions," Xander replied. "Had a couple of mages throw up some quick illusions so the girls could pack. You aren't getting your hands on any of my girls," he said smugly.
*CRASH!*
The air vent in the ceiling was kicked out and a red-haired woman dressed in black leather and wielding a short sword in each hand dropped onto Xander's desk, glaring around furiously.
"Vi?" Xander asked.
"Yeah?" she replied absently.
"Didn't I order you to leave?"
"Yeah, but then I remembered a couple of things," she replied with a grin.
"I'm going to regret asking, aren't I?" Xander said with a sigh.
"If she'd been enslaved, I can't tell," the Black Widow spoke up, having slipped behind Xander some time ago.
"Enslaved?" Vi asked.
"Kidnapped and enslaved by the evil Council," Xander explained.
"I thought all those guys were dead."
"They are," Xander assured her. "Cyclops here told them about Travers' bunch, leaving out the fact that they were all killed."
"And, I suppose your group is different, right?" Fury asked sarcastically.
Vi laughed. "He doesn't know anything, does he?"
"Not really," Xander agreed. "Avoid educating him, please."
"Fine, but do you recall what you said when Buffy visited last time?"
"I said a lot of things that week," he admitted.
"You said, and I quote, 'Yes she is allowed to one-night stand me. Save me from a god and you can one-night stand me too!'."
"You're challenging me so you can sleep with him?" Thor asked, catching on before anyone else.
"He's a hard man to pin down, and a warrior has needs," Vi said.
Thor nodded. "I yield."
Everyone turned to stare at him.
"I am hardly needed in this battle," he explained. "And, a warrior doth have needs. Asgardians are many things, but one thing we are not are cockblockers."
Xander chuckled and pulled off his eyepatch, revealing a heavily scarred and empty eye socket. "Put this on," he ordered.
Vi sheathed her swords with an ease that spoke of long practice and high skill. "Sure," she said, accepting the eyepatch and putting it on. "But why?"
"Now, look at Fury and tell him he's a lousy dancer," Xander ordered, ignoring the question.
"You're a lousy dancer," Vi told Fury, vanishing with a pop.
"What just happened?" Iron Man asked.
"I sent Vi to my evac point," Xander replied.
"With an eyepatch?" Iron Man asked.
"Yep."
"This changes nothing," Fury said. "It doesn't matter where you hide them, we'll find them."
"They're applying for citizenship wherever they've gone," Xander replied. "And, unlike the US, most countries know not to interfere so, any actions against them would be considered an act of war."
"What are we missing here?" Hawkeye asked. "This was supposed to be a simple op. We catch the bad guy, free a bunch of trained agents, and see who wants to join up."
"Actually, it would be you attack the people who have been defending you, and forcibly enlist my girls," Xander explained.
"So, this was just a power grab?" Iron Man asked Fury.
"The Watcher's Council is a centuries old organization that systematically kidnapped young women and disposes of them at eighteen, if they haven't died already," Fury said.
"Except, all those people are dead," Xander said. "The organization I belong to took over after they got blown up. Anyway, this is the last time you'll be seeing us because, 'Three strikes and you're out!' and this was the government's third strike. As of today, the NWASC is withdrawing from the USA."
"And, exactly what did you do here?" Captain America asked.
"We kept the gates of hell closed and the world spinning," Xander replied.
Iron Man snorted. "Like anyone would believe..." He looked at Fury and trailed off. Fury looked seriously shaken.
"You would abandon your duty?" Thor asked quietly.
"My duty is to the girls," Xander said. "Saving the world is just a side-effect. First and foremost, my duty is to ensure they live long and happy lives despite their Calling."
Thor nodded, satisfied.
"What was the whole thing about Travers' group and Three Strikes?" Iron Man asked.
"The Council, which was filled with a bunch of rich, old-school, old money types was killed in a massive explosion caused by agents of the First Evil," Xander lectured like he'd given this speech dozens of times before. "Following the Slayer Prime, we defeated the First Evil and permanently closed the Sunnydale Hellmouth, activating Slayers all over the world. Supporting the Slayer Prime was easy for a small group, but with so many slayers to support, we needed the Council back."
"I thought the Council was a bad thing?" Hawkeye asked.
"So we formed a new Council," Xander continued, ignoring the archer. "Except, where before it was a bunch of old bastards who considered the girls nothing more than disposable weapons, it was now composed of the Watchers who were fired for thinking otherwise and the Slayers themselves which outnumber the Watchers by a fair margin. The enslaved girls you were told of are in fact in charge of the asylum this time around."
"And, how did you get involved?" Captain America asked.
"One of my friends in high school was a Slayer, so naturally I started helping her. I ended up in charge of this region because the Slayers requested me. Personally, I think they wanted to put me behind a desk to keep me safe, but that's neither here nor there."
"Why was this strike three?" Fury asked, having recovered and looking for ways to run damage control.
"Strike One was the Demon Research Initiative which attempted to murder my friend the Slayer. Strike Two was… Well, it's a tossup between Weapon-X, which kidnapped a Slayer thinking she was a mutant, and a recent attempt by one of your generals to wipe out the 'foreign army' on American soil. Accidentally kidnapping a Slayer isn't a strike, but trying to wipe them out certainly is. Strike Three of course is this organized assault intended to enslave my Slayers."
"Enslave?" Captain America asked. "Son, we aren't enslaving anyone, just offering a choice to enlist once we freed them from who we thought had enslaved them."
"Forced enlistment in the US military counts as enslavement," Xander said flatly.
"You're drafting them?" Iron Man asked Fury.
"A four year term so we could be sure they were stable and trained to handle their new abilities," Fury admitted. "Untrained superhumans that were mentally and emotionally unstable due to whatever horrors they'd gone through was not something we were prepared to release on the general population."
"Military indoctrination and therapy with military shrinks with an agenda," Xander said. "The heaviest chains are the ones in the mind."
"We weren't going to brainwash them," Fury growled.
"Yes you were," Xander argued. "Only you'd call it counter-brainwashing or military indoctrination or some crap like that."
"A Counter Indoctrination course would be mandated to prevent reoccurrences caused by previous hardships," Iron Man read as Jarvis, his suit's AI, hacked the S.H.I.E.L.D. mainframe.
"It was not our intention to kidnap and brainwash them, just free them of outside influence and make our side look attractive," Fury said firmly.
Xander nodded. "It's a moot point anyway. There is a gateway to Hell under Cleveland. You may want to guard that because, if you allow it to open, the governments of the rest of the world are prepared to nuke you. Have a nice day!" He stood up and began to walk out, Thor and Iron Man moving aside.
"You're letting him go?" Captain America asked.
"He's not the one at fault," Iron Man said.
AN: Typing by Lucillia!