Bail stood outside the office door of Senator Amidala after his friend had all but fled inside following General Skywalker's departure from the building for several long minutes. Each time he raised his fist to knock, it felt too soon. Every part of Bail seethed at this latest game of Palpatine's. He played the Galaxy as he pleased, but to involve himself into Padme's personal life simply because she'd created an opposition to his corruption was truly sickening. And no doubt he'd allow the poison he'd created to spread through the Senate until everyone was whispering. Suddenly, he longed for nothing more than to hold his dear Breha in his arms… She would know the right course to follow and her advice would be gladly listened to. It'd been too many weeks since he'd been able to return home to her, a reason to delay always arose each time he tried, and now that he was surrounded by heartbreak, Bail realised just how lucky a man he truly was to have his Queen.
Eventually, he'd waited long enough and simply entered Padme's office without announcing himself. They were friends and often did this, though this time he did feel rather… Uncomfortable upon entering a private moment without permission. However, he feared that had he asked, permission would not have been granted, and Padme shouldn't be alone right now.
He found her sitting at her desk, head buried in her palms as gentle sobs tore through her body, making her shoulders heave. The sounds of her sorrow carried through the chamber and made Bail himself wish to weep. The unfairness of all of this angered him. There were people who truly committed such things against their partners every single day, within the Senate and outside, whose misdeeds never saw the light of day and yet Padme who was good and only desired peace was forced to suffer under false accusations… Was there no justice in this Galaxy anymore?
When she heard him approach, Padme's head flew out of her hands and she quickly set about trying to wipe away any trace of the tears on her cheeks. It didn't work very well, Bail could see the wetness still, but he would never dare say such a thing. She moved to stand, leaning her weight upon the desk to support herself, and he almost sighed. "Oh, Bail! I'm sorry, I –"
"Please, Padme, don't strain yourself. I… Understand your situation and just like with young Luke, I will ask no questions."
Padme fell back into her seat as tears anew sprung to her eyes. Somehow, she managed to swallow the thick lump in her throat, blocking her words in order to respond. "Thank you…" So he knew. Who else knew? What did he know? About Anakin? The mere thought of him made her wish to weep all over again. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened, it replayed over and over in her mind in an endless repetition. What must he be thinking right now? Surely when the shock cleared and he was calm, he'd see she was telling the truth! The footage was a forgery; she'd pay every credit she owned and have it tested in every available facility to prove it! He had to see it was fake… Padme was his wife! In all her life she'd only been with Anakin, and he with her… There could never be another in her bed – especially not Obi-wan! The mere thought that he believed that he'd been so utterly betrayed made her shoulders tremble with grief and for the very first time, Padme questioned the fate of her marriage.
Trust, evidently, was gone between them. Heartbreakingly mutually so. Anakin's faith in her had been shaken due to Palpatine's influence, and she was so afraid. She was afraid of what was about to happen, and she had no idea what to do. She felt so trapped and lost and all Padme wanted was to go home to Naboo with her family and feel her Ani's arms around her, with whispers that everything was going to be alright again. But it wasn't going to be alright. None of this was! Within a few days, she would be – there wouldn't be any time to…
It was only a moment later that Padme realised that Bail had sat down in one of the chairs opposite her desk and spoken. "I'm sorry." She muttered miserably, "What did you say?"
Bail smiled and Padme wished she could return it. "The baby…" He gestured toward her. "What is it?"
"A girl." She answered and Bail's smile died slightly upon his face.
"Though I suppose it may not feel like it right now, Padme, you are very lucky. Breha and I… We always wanted a baby girl." His face grew sad and wistful and despite everything, her curiosity spiked.
"But you never had any?" Despite their long friendship, there were still a great many things Padme didn't know about him. Behind the fiercely respected politician lay something else, a fire, a passion for what was right in the Galaxy. It blazed within him, she'd always felt that. But there was something more… Something longing in his eyes, now more than ever. She'd always thought that Bail would make a wonderful family man and it was only now that Padme realised the truth of it. Bail was more than a man who hid behind his life's purpose… He was a father… But a father without a child… And the knowledge made her heart ache more than it already did.
He shook his head sadly and his eyes fell low to his lap where his hands lay politely clasped. "No… I… It is an impossibility for us."
"Oh, Bail… I'm so sorry…" Padme whispered as his gaze returned to her eyes. Her children, Luke and this baby brought the greatest joy she had ever known. She'd been a mother for only five short years of her life and yet she could never imagine her life as anything different now. That someone who was so loving and capable of raising a child could be denied one, it broke her heart.
"It is… Just the way it is. But, we have been discussing the possibility of adopting lately. The only obstacle in our path is the current instability of the Republic."
"Yes." Padme placed a hand on her stomach, rubbing tendering where her little girl was becoming ready to be born, "I understand completely."
Anakin arrived back at the apartment, his mood just as foul as before, if not more so. Artoo chirped and beeped the entire trip from the Senate building, but the Jedi did not break his silence. Talking was the very last thing on his mind right now. He was torn between howling in grief and roaring in rage and didn't trust himself to open his mouth. The very moment he could, Anakin leapt out of the speeder and onto the veranda, barking orders at his astromech to land the speeder in the designated bay. He wasn't leaving tonight. Before following his orders, Anakin heard Artoo's sad little whine, but couldn't concern himself with that right now. He had worse things in his mind.
He marched through the apartment without care of who knew he was here. Most of Padme's staff knew anyway… They were good at keeping secrets. "What other secrets do they keep?" The dragon hissed in his ear and he felt his lip tremble. How could this be true? How? How could they have done this to him? Was there something he'd done wrong that made Padme turn to another – to his mentor? Did he… Had he not satisfied her?
Anakin fell back onto the couch, utterly crestfallen. He wasn't good enough for her – wasn't enough for her at all. He'd known it since the beginning of their marriage, because there was so much more any other man could give her… A public life together, a home created together, their last name, rings of commitment… And that was only the tip of what Anakin couldn't give her. There was so much their marriage lacked because of him… Was it any wonder she'd turned to another?
His sullen brooding was interrupted by light footsteps walking out, onto the veranda and Anakin looked up to see Elle and tried not to roll his eyes. He was far from in the mood for pretences and making excuses for his being here. No, she needed to be gone. Now. The surprise at his presence sparked onto the woman's face, partnered with a short startled gasp, and the Jedi reluctantly rose to his feet. Before Elle was able to speak, Anakin outstretched his hand toward her. "You did not see me here."
"I did not see you here…" She repeated quietly, eyes glazing over.
"You're tired. You should go home now."
"I'm tired. I should go home now."
He watched as the small woman turned around to leave and sighed heavily. All he wanted tonight was to tuck his son into bed and stop thinking of Padme and Obi-wan… But he couldn't. The holo of them in each other's arms was frozen in his mind, it was behind his eyes every time he closed them. Everywhere he looked made his skin crawl. Where had they been together? Was it on the couch? The veranda? Had it happened in their bed? The mere thought brought along more tears to the Jedi's eyes. His shoulders trembled and suddenly everything spilled out with a long, mournful howl as he sank back down onto the couch. How could they go behind his back? How could she? They were married – husband and wife… They pledged themselves to one another for an eternity and – and she chose to… She wanted Obi-wan more than she wanted Anakin and it tore his heart in two.
One thought so frightening that Anakin's blood ran cold came to him suddenly, and his very breath caught in his throat. Did she love him? What if she loved him more? She could end their marriage and what would he have left? Kenobi would take his place, in her heart, in her bed… In his children's lives. What if they came to love Kenobi more than him too? Anakin knew such a thing would be his ruin, he'd never recover… But then, something even worse came to the Jedi's mind, worse than everything that'd come before it. Something he hadn't taken a moment to consider before. What if she's not mine?
If it was true, and Padme and Obi-wan had been together when the holo said, then the baby… She might… He might not be… Kenobi might have taken Padme and his baby from him in one swoop. Suddenly, he couldn't hold himself back any longer. Grief took control of the Jedi and any calmness fled his body entirely. Long, broken sobs wracked their way through him as quietly as possible as his face fell into his palms. He couldn't lose her… Not Padme or the baby. He needed them.
Out of nowhere, the long buried ache for his mother came roaring back to life, and Anakin had never missed her so much as he did in that moment. Shmi would know what to do… She would know exactly what to say to make everything fall into place again. And if she didn't, she would simply sing to him until he felt better. Growing up without them, Anakin had forgotten most of the lullabies his mother would sing to him as a child, something he'd mourned once Luke had been born, but there was one that'd never left his mind, not once in all the years Shmi hadn't been there to sing it. Even now, if he concentrated hard enough, Anakin could still hear his mother's voice softly singing the Huttese words. And he did just that, for a long while, Anakin let the imagined words drift through his mind over and over as the tears coated his cheeks with their wetness and his body trembled in their wake. Eventually, the imagining managed to soothe something in him enough that he stood, wiping away the tears and threw off his dark cloak.
There was only one thing Anakin wanted now, and it was to be with Luke. Whether he was sleeping or not, he had to be close to him tonight, or else, he didn't know what he might do… As it happened, when the doors of his son's bedroom tore themselves open, the Jedi found the boy very much awake and in the middle of a holopad game. Upon seeing him, Luke froze, well aware that it was past his bedtime, his little eyes wide with childish panic at being caught breaking a rule. Anakin knew that he should reprimand him, but the innocence of the act somehow brought a smile to his unwilling mouth.
"You should be asleep…" He stepped into the room and let the doors slide closed behind him and Luke's blue eyes fell down to look at the bed rather than Anakin. Guilt was sweet on him. Especially so as Anakin was rarely given a chance to handle moments like this. In fact… It may just be the very first time. With that, he decided there'd be no reprimanding tonight. He needed a little company anyway.
"M'sorry…" Luke muttered and shut off the holopad. Falling to his knees by the bed, Anakin let himself smile, even if it did nothing to quell the hurt. He reached up to softly run a hand through Luke's soft blonde hair and sighed. "You're sad…" The boy frowned and Anakin had no idea what to say. Empathy was a power the Force granted some people, and while it was possible, he was more confident that he'd inherited the caring trait from his mother. Padme could always tell how someone was feeling… It was uncanny at times. Luke was just like her, in so many ways. Beyond the physical, Anakin saw almost nothing of himself in his son. Something told him that that was due to so many days spent away from him rather than with him in these tender years. And although the separations caused so much pain, maybe, if Luke was all Padme instead of him, just maybe they were a blessing in disguise.
Sometimes with children, Anakin had learned, it was best to simply be honest rather than hide the truth. And so, he didn't lie. "I am sad… But it's nothing for you to worry about, Little One." He ruffled his boy's hair and was glad to hear him laugh. Luke was the very last person who needed to be burdened by what was happening around them. His little life should be filled with nothing but joy. "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Anakin forced a grin for his son's sake, and immediately his beautiful little face lit up with one of his own. His smile was brighter than any star in the Galaxy.
"How much?" He played along, which made Anakin's grin feel so much more real. He even managed to laugh quietly as all thoughts of Padme and Obi-wan and the Chancellor fled his mind. Luke was a balm to his tortured soul, and right now, he was his father's only light.
"I love you…" He drawled, pausing for effect, goofily raising an eyebrow making Luke giggle. "More than all the moons in the sky."
Luke's gasp made his smile become a grin. "But that's like four hundred!"
This time, Anakin's laugh was loud and true and he knew there were no words that could fully describe his love for his son… No amount of moons or stars could capture it. Perhaps there was something beyond love for there was nothing that could do his feelings any justice. "Even more than that." He promised. Despite his best efforts to fight it, a great yawn stretched across the boy's face and Anakin reached for the holopad and placed it on the floor by his side. No more distractions tonight. "You're tired… Go to sleep." Surprisingly, Luke put up no fight and immediately settled down against his pillow, one small thumb sneaking its way into his mouth. It was a habit he and Padme were trying without much success to break, but he'd let forgive it right now… Until he was asleep.
Luke solved the little problem for his father and retracted his thumb to curl up further beneath the blanket with another yawn. "Daddy, will you still be here tomorrow?" The question while innocent enough brought a lump to Anakin's throat. He didn't know the answer. He didn't know anything anymore.
But how could he disappoint his Luke? His special, golden boy? Simply, he couldn't. So he forced a smile as if nothing in the Galaxy was wrong just to make sure he believed it. "Of course. Where else would I be?" The shining smile his son rewarded him with, was the most beautiful thing Anakin had ever seen. It didn't take long after that for sleep to claim the boy and whisk his young mind off on adventures and pleasant dreams… But Anakin stayed with him anyway, unable to pull himself away from the small bed. Nothing in the Galaxy had ever made him as happy as Luke… The day he learned Padme was pregnant was one of the four most wonderful moments of his life.
He stepped through the billowing sheer drapes as they danced in the gentle breeze that swept across Varykino, gifting Anakin's warm skin with its kiss. There he found her, radiant as always, dressed in a thin, purple gown that left the flawless flesh of her back exposed to his eyes. The hem swayed by her ankles in the breeze where she stood barefoot, elbows resting against the very balcony where they'd pledged their lives to one another forever. Her affinity for backless attire threatened to drive the Jedi to insanity, he swore it… And yet, Anakin was content to merely watch her for a moment, mesmerised as always by her beauty, and by the intense love he felt for her. His arms folded across his broad chest as his shoulder leant against the doorway, unabashedly admiring his beloved. She didn't look at him, but he felt through the Force her amusement at his admiration and… A glimmer of nervousness?
"Are you just going to stand there all day?" Padme drawled, interrupting his thoughts and he saw her cheeks pull backwards slightly as she smiled.
"I'd certainly be content too…" He chuckled and curled the fingers of his flesh hand around the cybernetic wrist hidden beneath thick black leather.
"Oh, I'm sure." He watched, as her head shook, and at last, the angel turned to greet his gaze with one of her own, so loving, so happy, that Anakin's breath caught in his throat. She leant back against the balcony, denying him the sight of her exposed flesh, but her beautiful face more than made up for it.
"What're you thinking about, Angel?" He asked, curious as the speck of nerves grew into something more intense, something that rolled off of her Force signature in waves. They still had ten days here, hidden away in the lake country together, where no one but their family knew of their presence. There was nothing to fear. So, what, he wondered, worried her now? The war? Cancelled meetings, perhaps?
Her gaze became misty again, "I've been thinking about my childhood," she began, trailing off briefly with a content sigh as the bliss of her youth returned to her. Anakin didn't begrudge Padme that joy… That idyllic bliss he'd tasted so rarely in his life, and especially little in his younger years. But Padme… Padme who worked for everyone above herself, Padme who'd give her very soul to ensure the safety of her people… Padme deserved it. More than anyone else, he was glad she'd had it. "I was so lucky to get to grow up here… Swimming in the lakes with Sola and laying beneath the sun as our skin dried on the sand…" The wistful tone in her voice drew Anakin's lips up fondly.
"It sounds… Wonderful." He nodded.
"Oh, it was… The lake country is perfect for a child – any child – to grow up in. Sola and I always had so much fun as girls here." Turning suddenly, she pointed to a thick tree beyond the balcony which looked older than the very structure they stood upon. "I learned to climb trees right there…" Slowly, her arm fell back to the stone as her radiant face looked back at Anakin, flushed and excited. "And despite your… Dislike of sand, Ani, you must admit that it's soft… Like a cushion, almost." Her words began to speed up, as the excited nerves heightened within her. "Perfect for someone a little clumsy… As if… As if one was learning to walk, for example."
Learning to walk? A slight, confused furrow came to his brow as the Jedi pondered his wife's words. But then, he felt it. Padme's smile only widened until her face positively shone with the knowledge he himself was only beginning to sense. Anakin felt it, the burst of light inside of her, the life…
His gaze fell lower, to where one slim arm came around her midriff and he felt his jaw fall loose. No… She wasn't… Was she? Was it really possible? A breathy exhale flew from his mouth without his command and Anakin felt himself begin to tremble slightly. "You…" He breathed. "Angel, you're…" Unable to stutter the words aloud for himself, Padme happily spoke to ease him of the struggle.
"Yes." She nodded giddily, eyes filled with a joy brighter than any jewel or star. "It's been some weeks now, but I wanted to be sure before I told you. And I am sure. Ani, I'm pregnant." Upon speaking the words out loud, an elated little giggle fell from her mouth and Anakin surged forward, crossing the balcony in only three short strides to sweep his wife into his arms, her amazed delight infectious. He heard himself laugh breathlessly as her own arms came up as they took each other's faces in their hands, lips colliding in the greatest happiness he'd ever felt.
When they parted, Anakin lifted her off her feet and spun them both in a little circle as the joy of it spread to his every vein, and fuelled his every breath as Padme's sweet laughter filled the air. For one fleeting moment for the Jedi and the Senator, everything was perfect.
What Anakin wouldn't have given to go back to those times… Happier times when all had been well between them and the biggest disagreement they had was whether they were having a girl or a boy. New tears came to the Jedi's eyes as he watched over his sleeping son, stroking his hair gently, and he swore to the Force that he'd put things to rights again. He was going to make things right again for Luke and his baby girl. His. Not Kenobi's. They deserved nothing but happiness, and as their father, Anakin would ensure that they had it. They would have everything. But first, he had to save them, all three of them. He was going to find the answer Darth Plagueis found so long ago and he was going to use it to save his family.
And then, the darker part of himself, the part of his soul that craved power, who revelled and thrived in bloodshed, that'd roared in victory when he'd slain the sand people beneath the stars, the dragon on his shoulder hissed, and then he was going to kill Kenobi for trying to take what was his.