Chapter 13.

I could feel her anguish, sympathy and pity for me, which of course flared my anger hotter,

"What? He didn't tell you that it was because of him that I even went to Adrian?" I snarled sarcastically, "He told me that, quote, 'Love fades. Mine has.'" I was clenching my fists now. "He hurt me, rejected me after everything I did for him, he then has the audacity to tell you what is now none of his business. And you're angry at me for pushing him." I was growling, Lissa was flinching at the tone of my voice, not to mention the anger she could no doubt feel radiating out of every one of my pores. "Did he care to explain to you why he fought off the Guardians when they tried to arrest me? Or why he has even bothered helping get me out?" Lissa was sitting there in tears now. I stomped out the door and took off down the stairs that I hoped led to the front door. I needed to get out, I needed to run. I slammed the door closed behind me and not knowing where I was going or caring I ran.

I could feel the wet, cold tears running down my cheeks, which only pushed me to run faster and harder. I don't know how long I kept going or how far I went, but I eventually had to stop when my burning lungs wouldn't let me get enough air. I stopped and collapsed behind a huge tree. Tears still flowing freely, lungs still struggling to fill with precious oxygen and every muscle coiled tightly. It was agony but no where near as painful as my chest. It felt like someone had staked me, and they'd definitely hit my heart. I was such a pitiful shivering mess.

At first when the strong, warm arms wrapped around me, I thought it was my imagination, but when I pressed my face to the hard muscled chest and breathed in his scent I clung to him.

"Roza," he whispered into my hair, I closed my eyes, tightening my grip on him. He sat down next to me and pulled me into his lap, his fingers playing with the ends of my hair as I sobbed and hiccuped. After a while I stopped shivering, and my tears dried up.

I pushed myself to sit up, only to be dragged back against his chest.

"I need you to understand," he paused, and took a deep breath, "I need you to understand why I have treated you this way." I could feel his tense muscles pressed against my body. I didn't say anything, I waited for him,

"You scare me Rose, you scare me for so many damned reasons." I closed my eyes and tried to push against him not sure I wanted to hear what he had to say,

"No, you need to hear this and I need to tell you," he sighed as he pulled me back, "I tried to kill you Rose, I came after you, hunted you. Before I was turned it was all I could do to not think about you, to not worry about you, but when I was turned I became obsessed with you, and then when you came after me and I had you all I wanted was to keep you with me, I wanted you to choose me, stay with me.

"I drank from you, and still it's like I can taste you, feel you flowing through me and it's agonising." I covered my face with my hands so he wouldn't see me. "It's agonising, because I did that to you. The intensity of my love for you before seemed to become twisted when I was turned, I suppose for a Strigoi it is what amounts to love, and as sick and twisted as it is a part of me is angry you rejected me.

"What scares me now, is that my feelings, my love for you, was that strong. As a Strigoi I should've lost all of my humanity, but somehow my love for you continued." I could feel the tears starting to build up again, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"You said that when you thought you'd killed me, you wished that you'd died. But Rose, do you have any idea how confused I am over that. I remember feeling you push the stake between my ribs," I couldn't hold back my gasp as the tears started to fall again, "I remember the look on your face as you pushed to try and get the stake to pierce my heart, and I remember seeing you as I fell off that bridge. You said that you loved me, and rationally I know why, but you still tried to kill me, and I tried to kill you." I could hear the pain and anguish in his voice,

"When I found out that you were with Adrian, I was hurt. I thought you'd moved on, that you would never be able to love me the same way again, but I was also relieved. After how I was as a Strigoi, I didn't know if I could become how I was before, if I could be the man you loved, if I could reclaim my humanity and I didn't want to hurt you again like I did when I was Strigoi, so I pushed you away. I didn't want to see you, or hear from you. Lissa was trying to help me, she was trying to heal me, make me whole again, make me find myself again. I keep telling myself that I've done the right thing, that the pain you're feeling will fade. But seeing you in that cell, and hearing you sound so defeated and broken, it wasn't right. You'd given up. After seeing you like that I realised that we need each other," I lifted my head to watch his face, he placed a kiss to my forehead. "We complete each other, we're the other half of each other's souls, and even though mine is not what it used to be, I need yours, to help me come to terms with everything that has happened."

I was crying again, but this time it was tears of joy. He lifted his hand to cup my jaw,

"My Roza," he whispered as he slowly lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me so sweetly it was painful. He moved and cupped my face in both his hands as he deepened the kiss. He slowly pulled away, brushing kisses up my nose and across my eyelids before pulling back so I could look deeply into his brown depths.

"It may take a while for me to come to terms with everything, but if you're willing to wait and help me through it, I know it'll be worth it." I gave him a teary smile and nodded my head before burying myself in his warm embrace.