(A/N): Okay, people! I think this is the chapter we've all been waiting for in more ways than one! I just have to say, you might find the explanation for Hermione's weird behavior and "reactions" disappointing. I think I have made it sound a lot more...well...I can't think of how I want to say it but, I think I have made it sound a lot grander and more important (maybe that's right) than it will turn out to be. If any of you really do feel disappointed by anything in the story, I want to know so that I don't make the same mistake twice.
PrincessPotter: Thank you for the complete honesty. You're right, the kiss wasn't that romantic...but...we can be sure of more romantic kisses in the future! Not the near future, mind you, but all the same...and again, I hope you feel better soon. I know I couldn't stand it when my finger was broken, so just think...a femur? (...I'm still not sure if that is a leg... :P)
mrs. skywalker: No, Draco was just trying to agitate Hermione. There really was nothing on her face, he was just being stupid and annoying. (Imagine Hermione muttering, "Stupid prat...he'll get what's due...," evilly... :P) And this is 'the big secret' chapter, but please read above Author's Note.
xx-scratchthat: Well, I am always glad to get new readers! Wow, you liked my story so much that you read it in a day? Isn't everyone dying to know what the secret is? I hope you aren't too disappointed (as I stated in above Author's Note) with the 'Final Explanation', as I should call it. What didn't you get about the kiss? How can I help clear that up? Really, I don't want my readers to be confused during any part of my story. Thank you for your review!
My-Chemical-Romance-Fan: Thank you so much for the review. I'm glad you liked that chapter and...maybe Malfoy won't be so much of an 'ass' in this chapter...but I'm not saying anything! Just read on!
(A/N): I would also like to thank charley and HarryPottergrl19 who both said they love my story. Awwwww...thanks guys!
Disclaimer: Not Mine. Boo hoo. Moving on.
Forever Was In His Eyes:
In late September Hermione went down to lunch late and alone. Harry, Ron, and Ginny had left after breakfast for Quidditch training and Hermione didn't expect them to return until dinner. She was able to grab an apple in the Great Hall before the plates cleared and lunch was over, and headed outside to eat and take a walk. As she started to walk down to the lake, Hermione pulled out her diary and unshrunk it, planning on reading everything she had written since the very first entry.
Lifting the book in front of her face, she noticed a spot sitting on a rock by the shore of the lake in the distance. From her vantage point, she could see a boy sitting on that rock and she knew exactly who it was as the shining blond hair stood out against the background of gray sky and trees. Reaching the edge of the lake, Hermione decided to walk around the opposite side of the lake to avoid Malfoy at all costs. During her walk, the wind picked up, blowing harder, tossing her robes and her hair around her body and waist. Hermione wondered how soon the rain would come.
After walking for an hour, the apple still only had two bites in it and Hermione was more than half way through the diary. Passing the rock she had seen from the path down to the lakeshore, she heard what sounded like sniffling. She paused trying to identify the sound and looked up at the rock, slightly startled to see that Malfoy was still sitting there.
And he was crying.
Harry had told Hermione how he had caught Malfoy crying in a boy's bathroom in sixth year but Hermione had yet to actually see it. Oh, she could definitely believe it since she would have been crying too at the thought of being killed by Voldemort for not going through with a mission passed on by the big man himself. With out word, she shrunk her diary and returned it to her pocket with her pen and wand.
So as not to startle the crying Malfoy, (Hermione didn't think he would appreciate her witnessing the private moment at all...especially after he attacked Harry for seeing him cry the previous year.) Hermione slowly walked around the rock to the side, so that she could see Malfoy's profile. What she saw seemed to soften her heart towards her enemy of six years and she desperately wished she could hold him, to make his pain go away.
Tears poured out of those mysterious sliver eyes of his as he stared up at the dark gray sky. His arms hung loosely around his legs which were drawn up to his chest. The wind blew his hair and robes around almost haphazardly. His mouth washanging open a little to let out rattling breaths. Hermione felt another desperate desire, this time to kiss his pain away. The whole situation seemed crazy when thought about logically but Hermione wasn't thinking logically. For once, she saw Malfoy as another human being, as another person who could hurt and possibly love. He had to love something to be hurt so much to cry, hadn't he?
One of Hermione's hands rested lightly on the rock and Hermione wished that she was touching him in a comforting manner. "Malfoy?" she whispered softly, the concern clearly evident in her voice. His head snapped in her direction, and Hermione would never forget the look on his face for as long as she lived. Before he could cover his emotion, he looked sad, lost, and lonely peering down at her from his rock perch. She knew from then on, she would never call Draco Malfoy, Malfoy again.
Draco slid down from the rock and drew his wand, pointing the tip at her throat. After what felt like forever, but could only have been a few seconds, his face became cold, his eyes piercing. For awhile there, she had felt close to solving the mysteries Draco's eyes held. She thought she could have seen forever in his eyes, which really didn't make much sense in her own head, but the thought was there. Once she stared into the icy orbs, time seemed to slow down remarkably around them, but now his gaze was cold and full of hat. Hermione did not make a single move for her wand, but let him feel in control of the situation.
"I don't know real emotional pain, huh?" he said with so much hatred that Hermione physically flinched.
"I..." but he wouldn't let her talk.
"What do you want?" he hissed through clenched teeth with the same amount of hatred.
"I..." but she could find no words to say what she wanted. What could she do? Say, 'Oh, Malfoy! I was so wrong about you! Please, let me hold you and kiss you. Tell me what's wrong and let me fix it, baby!'?
The wand jabbed at Hermione's throat impatiently, not only hurting her with a poke but slightly burning her with the tip, his anger heating his wand until it was about to shoot harmless sparks at the girl. She jumped in surprise but didn't move either of her hands to her now stung skin.
"I..."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" he shouted in her face as he took a step closer to her until Hermione had to lean back because he was so close. His eyes were wide with anger and Hermione swore she could see fear. She was positive that his sadness was still in his eyes. Draco wasn't as good as Professor Snape at hiding his emotions, even though he was an Occlumens.
"I..."
"GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!"
Tears sprang to Hermione's eyes, to her ultimate surprise. She didn't like this Draco Malfoy. With this one, she was afraid. While he had never done anything to harm her in the six years they had hated each other, at that moment, Hermione was certain he could have hurt her if he wanted.
"I..." but she still didn't know what to say. He would not appreciate pity at all, she knew that much, and she didn't want to give him any. She just wanted to know what was wrong and help. But she had interrupted a vulnerable moment for him and she thought he would punish her for it now.
So she tried again. "What's wrong?" She spoke in a kind but firm voice that could not be mistaken for pity.
This seemed to surprise Draco for second as his façade faded before he brought his guard up again.
"What makes you think I'm going to tell you?" he said with a hateful sneer, throwing Hermione's own words back in her face. She just gaped, opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water, momentarily stunned. "You are not my friend, in fact, you have been my enemy since first year, and you are not privy to such information," he continued as he advanced on her. For every step Draco took towards Hermione, she took two steps back.
"I..." Hermione said again. Instead of saying anything more, anything she might regret, she lifted her hand to Draco's face and gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. She wasn't sure what made her do it but in every fantasy she had ever had with Draco in it, he had wiped her tears from her face in just the same way. In these daydreams, she found the motion comforting and now only hoped she wasn't making a fool of herself.
Ah, but it was too early to be hoping.
Draco snatched Hermione's wrist, and pulled it away from his face. He glared at her as she flinched at his tight grip.
"Don't you dare touch me, you filthy Mu—," but he paused. His face blanched as he seemed to choke on the word. Without finishing his sentence, he let go of Hermione's wrist and turned away from her, walking back towards the rock and climbing up again. "Just go away and leave me alone, Granger," he said quietly, his voice full of exhaustion. He was sitting on the rock in the same way Hermione had found him a few minutes earlier.
This Draco also scared Hermione. She had never seen him look so...sad or forlorn before. An angry Draco Malfoy was easier to understand and to hate but this one seemed...defeated, and his usual Malfoy delusions of superiority were gone. His confident, self-assured, arrogant-ness was all missing. Hermione had no idea who this Draco Malfoy was and wasn't sure of which she was scared of more: Super Angry Draco or Lost / Defeated Draco.
She stepped up to the rock again looking into Draco's face. His lost expression had returned and every once in a while he glanced at the darkening sky. Hermione wanted to know him and to be his friend; maybe if things had been different they could have been friends. If they were different people or had different families. This was the first time that Hermione had ever wanted to get to know Draco Malfoy. What would Harry and Ron think if she told them that?
Draco looked down at her again, catching Hermione staring at his profile.
"I thought I told you to go away?" he said sadly. His eyes were still red and slightly puffy but the tears had dried on his face. Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She thought that he could not look any more attractive as he was, fresh from crying. And it was quite a startling concept when she very much wished to kiss his tear stained cheeks, then kiss his lips to no abandon until he kissed her back.
Just thinking thoughts such as this sent a strange fluttery feeling to Hermione's stomach. Self consciousness overtook her and for a second she felt shy and wanted to just turn around and go back to the castle, or even (to her own bewilderment) go watch Harry, Ron, and Ginny practice their dull Quidditch. But now she felt compelled—the Gryffindor in her, she assumed—to reach out to Draco and let him know that she could be there for him if he wanted her to be. Though she wished the feeling in her stomach would go away first...
Hermione walked around the rock to the other side and to Draco's surprise and annoyance, climbed up beside him. He just looked at her incredulously for a second before he grunted, "What do you want? I told you to leave me alone."
"When have I ever done what you told me to?" Hermione said with a light smile just for Draco, who didn't really know what to say.
"How about a compromise?" she asked him as she stared into the distance at the sky.
"What do you mean 'a compromise'?" he asked warily but with curiosity as well.
Hermione looked at her hands as she twisted her school robes around in her small nimble fingers.
"What if I tell you what's wrong with me, if you tell me what's wrong with you?" she asked quietly. She really wanted to know what had caused Draco to cry and now relied on his curiosity about herself to find out.
"You mean, you would tell me why you blame me for throwing up and all that, if I tell you why I was..." His voice faded in the end as he didn't want to remember or remind Hermione of his moment of weakness.
"Yes," she said as she looked into Draco's eyes. She gave him another smile and while he didn't return the favor, she thought he looked a little happier. Hermione held out her hand for Draco to shake for them both to agree to this compromise.
Draco grasped her hand in a firm grip and shook it with grim determination on his face. Hermione's smile widened and she found that it became easier for her to show this happiness around him the more she did it. Her only wish was to get a smile back from him.
And to possibly be his friend.
Oh, and to get a better kiss from him.
Not necessarily in that order.
Hermione and Draco sat in slightly tense silence regarding each other out of the corners of their eyes. Neither of them spoke because neither of them really wanted to start explaining first. The sky had become so dark for late afternoon that they would have had better lighting inside the castle with candle and torch light. The wind had become so fierce that Hermione's hair was blowing into her face, her eyes, and her mouth so that she was constantly trying to push it behind her ears with no success. After doing this for the tenth time in one minute, Draco turned and grabbed both of her hands to stop. Immediately, her hair covered her entire face until she was sure she looked exactly like Cousin It from the Addams Family.
Reaching behind her, Draco pulled the hood of Hermione's robes over her head to cover her hair. Then he pulled out his wand and tapped her head once and the hood did not move at all anymore. He pushed her wavy brown hair out of her face and back into the hood. She had watched him the entire time as he worked and when he had deposited his wand back into his pocket and looked back at her, she suddenly got a bout of shyness.
"Thank you," she said with a slight tremor in her voice. The entire time he had been touching her, hot waves of...something seemed to flow through her body. She was shaking with nerves and, damn, the fluttery feeling had returned to her stomach.
Get a grip, Granger!
Draco seemed uncomfortable with her appreciation for a moment.
"Well...that was getting really annoying," he said with a sneer. Hermione rolled her eyes and pretended that he had really wanted to touch her instead of just finding her a nuisance.
Hermione decided that she would just go ahead and begin. So looking at the sky, she started her story:
"There was nothing wrong with me until June of fifth year when Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, Neville, and I went to the Department of Mysteries and fought with those Death Eaters. You know as well as anyone that I am Muggle-born and after that battle, I think I am as well known as Ron as Harry's best friend. If everyone didn't know that after all of the horrible things Rita Skeeter wrote about me in our fourth year, that is. With Voldemort out in the open and not hiding anymore, I started to worry about my family. I thought that they would become big targets because of me and my relationship with Harry. At least for half of that summer I would be with my parents and try to protect them as best as I could.
"I started to throw up blood almost immediately after that battle and my mum noticed when I went home. We went to the hospital and the doctor—"
"You mean one of those Muggle healers?" Draco interrupted her to ask.
Hermione nodded. "Exactly.
"My doctor gave me medication, saying that I had stomach ulcers that popped from stress, but the medication never worked for me. She—the doctor, that is—sent me to a psychiatrist saying that for a sixteen year old, I had too much stress for medication to do anything. So, I talked to the psychiatrist and told her about what had me worried so much because she couldn't understand why I would be so stressed; especially when it was the summer holidays and I didn't have to think about school. I think she sort of wrote me down as a worrywart," Hermione said with wry laugh, as if she knew much more than her psychiatrist did.
"Obviously, I changed the story around a bit since I couldn't tell her I was a witch and I was afraid that the most evil wizard in the entire world was going to kill my family. But by the way I was talking, I'm sure she thought that I was afraid that anything and everything was going to kill me. She gave me some more medication but it was for curing some sort of phobia...a fear of everything phobia, I don't remember what it's called. Unfortunately, my parents had to pay for it and I threw the pills down the drain. I didn't have a phobia so I wasn't going to walk around drugged. How would I pass exams and school?
"Finally, the psychiatrist wanted to give up on me. I wasn't throwing up as long as I talked to her, even if she was annoying." Hermione turned to Draco for the first time since she started talking and met his curious gaze with an amused smile. "She talked to me like I was less intelligent than a rock." She smiled wider at the memory. "And even though a rock might have given me a run for the money intelligence wise, at least I have hands to raise." As Hermione raised an arm in the air and waved her hand around, Draco gave a snort of laughter, to her very surprise. She looked at him as if she had never seen him before until he sobered up. Then she looked back at the sky and continued again.
"As a last resort, my psychiatrist told me that the only way that would work to stop the ulcers was to get rid of my stress. She suggested that I keep a diary and anytime I start to feel stressed, like when I worry, get angry, scared, or depressed, that I write what I am feeling into the diary. Get all of my feelings, and thus my stress, out. It's the only thing that works. Well, unless I sing," she blushed as she said it, "but I never sing, so I write."
"Why don't you sing?" Draco asked instantly. Hermione wasn't sure if he was really curious or if he was just stalling so that he wouldn't have to talk so soon.
"Me? Sing? That's absurd. No one wants to hear me sing," she answered jokingly. "Besides, how embarrassing would that be if I started singing every time I was angry?"
"So, what, you carry that diary around with you everywhere?" Hermione was too embarrassed to answer. She was starting to feel ashamed of having her diary with her all of the time, then when she put it down, going crazy that she would have a fit and then she would definitely have a fit.
Before she knew what he was doing, Draco had reached into Hermione's pocket and pulled out its contents: her wand, her pen, and her shrunken diary. He quirked his eyebrow at her accusingly but Hermione was already taking back her belongings with an evil glare directed straight at him.
Draco looked as if he was going to say something else but his first question still hadn't been answered.
"So why do you blame me for this?" he asked with annoyance. He didn't want to make Hermione think that he actually felt sorry for her, so he just pretended that he wasn't changed by her story at all and was only interested in what he wanted to know.
Hermione paused for a minute before answering. "I guess I've never been very fair in blaming the Malfoys," she admitted. "But it was a lot easier for me to blame someone that I knew personally and who knew me personally than just to say it was my fault for worrying too much. I guess I could have blamed Voldemort," Draco flinched at the usage of the name, even if its owner was dead, "but everyone blames Voldemort for everything. It was a little more local to blame you.
"I was there, in that store, Fixation, when you came in and started that fight with Harry and Ron," she admitted.
"I didn't start that fight!" he countered. "And I definitely didn't see you there."
Now Hermione looked at her hands as she twisted her fingers in her lap.
"I was there...in the back of the store...hiding...from you."
Draco looked astonished before he rid his face of emotion and sneered at her.
"I was afraid of being near you because I didn't want to become angry for whatever you would say about me, my parents, or my friends. Fat bit of good it did me too because when the fight broke up, Harry and Ron came in to yell at me because I wasn't playing 'peacekeeper' for them. I got angry and ran off to puke my guts out, or I should say, puke my heart out. But they followed me into a girls' toilet and I Apparated out, where you bumped into me. That's why when Dumbledore said we would share a common room, I said that you would kill me. I was afraid that being so close to you, I would have reactions every hour or something. But we managed to avoid each other for the most part. Except for what happened that first weekend back."
Draco suddenly remembered that when he had seen Hermione in the Leaky Cauldron, before he had recognized her for who she was, he had wiped something off of her face. With imminent horror, he realized that the smudge of red had to have been blood. He had actually used his fingers to wipe the stuff onto his clean robes.
And for some reason that he couldn't fathom...he didn't mind anymore...
Hermione fell into silence as she finished her explanation and sat waiting for Draco to start his. She looked everywhere except at his face while she waited. The sky almost seemed to be lightening to a lighter shade of gray. For the first time in over a year, Hermione felt as if a tension had been lifted. Relief flooded her senses for finally talking about her experience and she felt more carefree than she had in a long time. She felt as if she could breathe easier and didn't even mind that she hadn't told Harry and Ron, but Draco Malfoy, about the whole diary ordeal.
His questions had been answered, and he didn't know what to say to the girl sitting beside him. Draco sat for a long time, working up the courage to begin his explanation. He was quite positive that Granger would think he was some kind of nancy-boy afterwards, and it was under no circumstances that anyone would consider a Malfoy a nancy-boy.
When Hermione thought he wasn't going to hold up his end of the bargain, Draco dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled up piece of parchment. He smoothed it out and glanced at it before handing it to Hermione, not even looking at her as he did so. She hesitantly took the parchment, taking a look at the maroon wax seal, which she didn't recognize.
"Read it," he said as his only means of explanation. Hermione supposed that the letter would be self explanatory.
"A-are you sure?" she asked, asking for reassurance that it was alright to read his personal mail.
He nodded, still watching the lake, trying to disconnect himself from the situation.
Hermione unfolded the letter and read:
Dear Mr. Draco Malfoy,
We regret to inform you that your mother, Narcissa Malfoy, was attacked in your Wiltshire home this morning, at approximately 9:45 by an unknown party. She has been transported to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries for the time being until she wakes from her comatose state. A team of Hit Wizards have begun investigation to find the person or persons responsible and the only piece of evidence has been proven unhelpful. A copy of this discharged evidence has been attached to the back of this letter. If you know of anyone who would want to cause your mother harm, or have any information about this attack, please do not hesitate to contact the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.
The letter was signed by a ministry official Hermione had never heard of. She gasped and looked up from the letter to Draco. He was still staring out at the gray waters but now his lip was quivering uncontrollably. He just managed to keep tears from springing to his eyes and Hermione felt a strange sense of pride at how admirably he was able to control himself.
"I'm sorry," she said. Draco's head snapped towards her to look into her eyes, but he found no pity, just a girl who was there to listen if he wanted to talk and who would not tell anyone if he cried again. Draco suddenly desperately wished that he and Hermione could have been friends. He had never had a true friend before, he had always been taught that no one was to be trusted and that the meaning of 'friend' was really 'lackey'. But Potter, Weasley, and Granger made friendship look inviting and fun. Draco wished that he had a friend like Hermione.
Hermione then remembered the piece of evidence attached to the letter. On a small piece of parchment attached to the back of first page were six simple words written in bold elegant handwriting:
YOU DISMISS YOUR HUSBAND SO EASILY?
"What does it mean, Draco?" Hermione asked as she returned the letter to its owner. She didn't even notice that she had called him by his first name out loud. Draco was slightly stunned that she said it but didn't mention her slip up.
"I've got an idea," he answered instead.
"So you think you know who is responsible for this abomination?" Hermione asked with determination and disgust in her voice.
"Abomination?" Draco asked with a sneer. "Since when did you care about my mum so much?"
Hermione looked perplexed for a moment. But she thought Draco would appreciate the truth more than some sentimental fabricated lie.
"I don't. She's never cared for me so I've never cared for her, but she's your mum." She said this as if Narcissa being Draco's mother explained everything, but he was still confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Hermione began, thinking about the best way to say what she felt. "Even though she never has and probably never will have anything good to say about me, she's still your mother and as long as she doesn't abuse you, you need her. The worst possible thing that could happen to someone, in my opinion, is having something happening to the people that they love. That's why I throw up blood and write in this stupid diary," she finished with contempt. Hermione didn't realize that she had just accused Draco of loving his mother, but he had noticed and he peered at her to see her reaction. Was she baiting him? Making fun of him? But she just stared at the lake just like Draco had a few moments ago. Then she began to speak again.
"You know, Draco," Again, she didn't realize that she was calling him by his given name. "I have cried more in this past year than anytime in my life and as far as I know, you have only cried twice in the past year, and now something has happened to your mum. I think if it were me, I'd have gone into a fit of depression as soon as I received a letter like that. It seems like I cry about every little thing, and I'm tired of crying. It's exhausting and I hate it."
For what felt like the millionth time since he had started sharing a common room with her, Draco felt at a loss of words to Hermione's confession. She had just told him more about herself and her life than anyone had ever told him before. His father had never trusted him with any important information and if the info wasn't important, there was no point in telling it. His mother had always treated him like a son instead of the young man that he was now and when his father died, she had immediately made him the man of the house. But he still didn't learn anything important or worth knowing about her or her life. Crabbe and Goyle? Well, they'd never tell Draco anything either unless he asked for it, and even then their lives were probably too dull for interest. Hermione Granger had just told Draco a great many things about herself, her family, and her fears, and he even thought she had complimented him in some way.
I'm not weak. I'm stronger than Granger for being able to control myself! he thought with excitement.
'But she's just a girl...' that nasty Lucius voice whispered in his ear, trying to bring down Draco's spirits. 'All girls cry too much...what would be so different with her?'
I'm not weak, he insisted.
'All girls cry too much...'
I'm not weak.
'What would be so different...?'
"I'M NOT WEAK!"
Hermione jumped in surprise at Draco's outburst. He looked as if he was seething with his chest heaving and his breathing angry and harsh.
"I didn't think you were," she said honestly. Draco turned his face and looked into her deep brown eyes and only found sincerity. She didn't think he was weak. He wasn't weak.
Looking into his eyes, Hermione saw uncertainty above anything else. He wasn't sure of himself or his feelings, she thought. What had Lucius Malfoy done to his son? Taught him? Drilled into him? She had an idea about what "a Malfoy stood for", even though she disagreed with it and thought their ideals were stupid, but what was ludicrous to her, was a way of life to a Malfoy. It seemed as if now, Draco might be reconsidering this way of life. Or if not reconsidering it, he was trying to work into it.
From his outburst, Hermione discerned that he had been in conflict with himself. He thought he was weak and was trying to tell himself that he wasn't. He had to think that either crying or becoming so distressed at the news of his mother made him weak. Otherwise, why would he hide the reason for crying from people, if not because he thought he looked weak? Then he was fighting with himself, trying to convince himself that his actions were not out of weakness. Was he trying to change the way he had been taught, or just the way he looked at the situation to convince himself that he wasn't weak? This was important in trying to change Draco; to turn him from his father's ways and into his own person. An individual.
Whoa, when did you decide you were going to change him? she paused her thoughts in contemplation, finding the answer quickly and not as disturbed with her solution than she thought she should have been.
When I decided that he really is a human being after all...
"Do you want to be friends?" she blurted out. Hermione's eyes widened in shock as she spoke the words, Draco's gaze was astonished as well. She wasn't sure where the words had come from or why her mouth would betray her in such a way.
"W—what?"
"Oh, never mind! Of course you don't want to be friends with a Muggle-born, or a Gryffindor at that!" she said covering her eyes with her hands in embarrassment.
"Damn straight!" Draco said though he didn't mean the words. He might have considered becoming friends if she hadn't taken back the offer. There was no way he would be the first to bring up such a subject. "I am not one of your charity cases that you can work on and change, and I will not be your laughing stock when you and your stupid friends try to make a fool of me! Not that you would succeed, anyway!"
Damn. Why would Draco's mouth betray him in such a way? Now she definitely wouldn't reconsider her offer.
What the HELL is wrong with you, Draco? he asked himself. Since when did YOU want to be Granger's friend? He found his answer quickly and did not disagree with the thought right away.
When I decided that she really is a human being after all...
She knew what happened to his mum—actually saw him cry over her as well—and had not taunted him, or laughed at him, or degraded him in any way. She allowed him to see apart of herself and her life and sympathized with—not pitied—him about his own ordeal. She offered friendship even if she had taken it back because he was too stupid to say yes right away.
'Or smart enough not to...' The Lucius voice whispered dangerously.
Hermione Granger was an intelligent girl, no doubt about that. Draco could respect that even if despised it as well. His father had always been displeased with him because he couldn't beat a Mudblood, and all Draco had wanted to do was please his father and bring honor to the Malfoy name.
'Fraternizing with a Mudblood does not bring honor to the Malfoy name...' the Lucius voice hissed.
Neither does becoming a Death Eater, old man! His father's voice quieted, if not disappeared, as he thought that.
Granger was somewhat pretty, at least. Draco turned his head to look at his adversary and corrected himself. She was very pretty. He studied her with her legs drawn up to her chest and her arms clasped tightly around them, except for occasionally when she would rub her hands together to warm her numb fingers from the biting wind. Her robes were flapping around her except for her hood, which he had charmed to be immobile so that Granger's hair wouldn't continue to blow all around her head like a demon. Because the hood was mainly in the way, the only thing Draco could really see of her was her nose which was slightly small and rounded. It was...cute.
Draco's eyebrows rose in surprise at what he was thinking. Granger had a cute nose? She was pretty? Where were these thoughts coming from? But he didn't deny any of them. All in all, Draco found Hermione Granger...interesting. At meals he could sit and watch her even if she was just talking to the two dolts she called friends or eating, or even reading as she was likely to do at meals. In fact, Draco knew for a fact that at breakfast, Granger read the Daily Prophet, at lunch, she would usually be found with a textbook, and at dinner, she read something extra from the library. Usually as she read, she didn't eat too much, but as far as he could tell, she ate enough to stay healthy. It was really easy for Draco to just watch her no matter what she was doing. The way her face glowed in the light of a simmering cauldron was definitely attractive.
Wait a minute...
Okay, Draco Malfoy thought Hermione Granger was attractive. So what? Was it a crime?
'A crime to your family...'
Shut UP, Lucius!
There was definitely some appeal where Hermione Granger was concerned.
Now all Draco wanted to do was relay the offer of friendship again.
Do you want to be friends? Do you want to be friends? Do you want to be friends? he repeated in his head over and over again, trying to get the words out of his brain and through his mouth.
Draco opened his mouth to speak...
Do you want to be friends? Do you want to be friends?
He closed his mouth again, losing his courage...
Do you want to be friends?
Say it already, Draco!
But Hermione's mouth was opening again and he had lost his chance to speak up.
"Well...would you consider...I mean...if you wanted to...would you like to...?"
"Spit it out, already!"
Hermione jumped and blurted out what she had meant to say.
"How about a truce then?"
Draco seemed startled for a moment.
She's giving me another offer!
A truce...that was even better than a friendship...No strings attached...He wouldn't have to play the considerate friend, talk about emotions and whatnot, whatever it was friends did. All he'd have to do was stop calling Granger names and he had already decided he wasn't going to do that anymore. Yes...a truce did sound much more appealing. What was he thinking, wanting to be friends with Granger? He didn't need friendship.
"Harry and Ron don't have to be included in this..." she said. Draco quirked an eyebrow at her and strangely enough, she blushed and averted her eyes.
Hermione herself didn't even know what she was doing. First she asked Draco if he wanted to be friends (what was she, stupid? Apparently so...) and even though he had shot her down with harsh words, she was now asking for a truce and excluding Harry and Ron from the deal. Why was she so desperate to be close to Draco? He made her feel uncomfortable even when he was being civil. For example, all of the little flutterings in Hermione's stomach in the past hour...the way she had just blushed now...and her heart had even sped up at that little quirk of an eyebrow. Draco made her nervous and self-conscious...why did she want to be civil with him now? Could this just be because he had listened to her with her problems? Or because she had caught him crying over his mother?
All of a sudden, Hermione's fingers were itching to dig in her pocket. She didn't even notice as her hand slipped inside her pocket until she was clutching her ball point pen for dear life. But before she could pull her diary out of the pocket, unshrink it, and begin to write, Draco gave her a searching look, a nod, and spoke.
"If Potter and Weasley aren't in on this...then...I'll accept a truce."
Fluttery stomach.
Damn.
Hermione extended her hand and Draco took it firmly just like before. The soft skin of his large hands warmed Hermione's own skin. She was very much aware that Draco was watching her, but she just stared at their clasped hands.
Racing heart.
Damn again!
It seemed as if that slight attraction towards Draco Malfoy was growing...growing into something more like a crush. And as much as Hermione despised schoolgirl crushes (since she had never really owned one before, they are so pointless. What about her studies?), she realized and accepted that she had one, even if it was on her former enemy.
"I'm not going to start spouting off secrets and crying all over the place because of this," Draco growled as if in warning.
Hermione sighed in annoyance. "I didn't expect you to, Dra—er—Malfoy, because I'm not either!" she said huffily as they released their hold on each other's hands.
They sat for a while, both staring at the lake again. Both of them noticed that the sky had definitely gotten lighter since they began talking. Even the sun was trying to poke out from behind the gray clouds, though it was unsuccessful and the lighting was still dim. Draco and Hermione actually felt comfortable in each other's presence but this was something they hadn't noted of each other yet.
"You didn't answer my question before," Hermione said quietly, finally breaking the silence.
"Which was that again?" Draco asked with his usual smirk, though the Gryffindor girl couldn't see any reason why he would be smirking.
"Who do you think is responsible for...the attack on your mum?"
Draco visibly stiffened at the question, his smirk falling off of his face hopelessly to be replaced with a scowl. Even his eyes seemed to darken to the color of the clouds above them.
"Besides Mum and me, only one other person would be able to break or take off the wards around our manor. These wards were created by this person and only he, Mum, and I would have been able to work the wards." Draco's eyes were now unrecognizable as the pale grey, silver, almost white, irises Hermione had become accustomed to dreaming about. They'd changed to a similar gray color of the tumultuous waters of the lake.
"Who's that?" she asked, putting a cold hand on Draco's arm in a supporting manner, but he jerked his arm out of her grasp. The hairs on the back of Hermione's neck bristled as she thought she knew who Draco was talking about. But it couldn't be him... She dreaded his answer and regretted asking the question.
"My father."
At this announcement, the clouds finally parted and it began to pour.
(A/N): AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Review time! What are you all thinking so far? I want to know!
Here's a challenge for y'all. Does this chapter remind anyone of a certain song? Well if it doesn't, it should since a song inspired me to write the last scene. Anyone who can guess what song it was and who sings it gets chapter fourteen dedicated to them!
Okay, so I am just wondering for future reference what you all expect from the story. Are you expecting (when the romance starts that is) Hermione and Draco to sleep together? And if so, are you expecting a good lemon? Because I am going to tell you right now, I don't think I would be very good at writing a lemon and if I did decide to have Herm and Draco sleep together, I might have to end that scene with words that let you know what they are going to do without describing it. I wouldn't know how to describe sex since I have never had it before. So, I just want to know from my readers what it is you want or expect concerning Hermione and Draco sleeping together and how that should be written. If you all really want a lemon, I will try to provide one. It would mean a lot to me if I got feedback on this because I don't know what I would do if I decided to add this element to Diary of a Songbird. Thank you in advance to the kind people who reply to this inquiry. You guys are the best.