Yeah, I have nothing to say besides the fact that Boss singing LoveGame gave me nightmares last night. This is going to be, like, the second to last chapter, so the end is near!
The authors entering this chapter are:
BabyBlueHamster (Baylee)
HamtaroXbijouLover (Dave)
Michaiah (Kassidy)
Chipmunk4ever and her best friend/sister (Chipmunk and Jenna.)
Apparently, I got, like, three or four PM's about how great that copy and paste thing on my profile is about my favorite authors and how I made them laugh. You don't know how happy I am to hear that. If you haven't looked at my profile in a while, go ahead and do so after you've read AND reviewed this chapter! And feel free to copy and paste that onto your own profile, but all credit goes to Cherrie Sakura and ZephryFiction's profiles.
Chapter 13:
The Unlucky Trio Part 2
"Heloooooooooooooooo, everyone!" a voice called out from the door.
"I LIKE BROWNIE CUSTARD!!"
Dave, Baylee, and some of the ham-hams who had a secure attention span slowly turned around to the newcomers and almost screamed when they saw another little kid (Well, only Dave and Baylee.), each one ready to rip out their hair. On the left was a girl who looked to be the same age as they were, grinning a crooked smile. She had brunette hair with blonde streaks in it and a baby pink tank top with a black miniskirt with a flower necklace and bracelet to match. Meanwhile, she was holding a little girl's hand and that kid had even a wider smile. The tinier accomplice had dirty blonde hair tired into a ponytail. She was wearing an outfit similar to the other one, but had on a purple tank top instead of a pink one.
"Hi, Laura sent me to help three daycare leaders here because she thought that they needed help," the older girl stated. She bowed her head a little to show respect. "Just call me Chipmunk. And I brought my sister Jenna here since she wanted to see what a daycare looked like."
"Uh, before you can step into the room Chipmunk," Baylee started. "How old is Jenna?"
"Six. Why?"
"OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT!" Dave shouted as he ran from the kitchen and over to the two newcomers. He shoved them out quickly and slammed the door in their faces.
"I don't know you much, but high-five!" Baylee yipped and she slapped Dave's hand. She tilted her head to the side though. "Why were you in the kitchen? What happened?"
"SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!" a voice called out from the kitchen.
"Panda," Dave sighed. "Panda happened."
A huge crash and more of the insane yelling was heard so Dave started for the kitchen. Baylee sighed and rubbed her temple at becoming the person who had to take care of vitamin enriched children, but when she took a look at the Gameboy hooked up to Hamtaro and Kassidy's brains, she gasped. Just a moment ago, Dave had plugged in the Gameboy into Hamtaro's ear and another in Kassidy's ear to reveal a picture of them on the screen, but since Panda had eaten all of the sugar in the pantry, Dave had to stop him so that left Baylee all by herself.
Right now, Kassidy in the video had sent a special message to Baylee: YOU WILL LET CHIPMUNK AND JENNA IN BECAUSE WE MIGHT GET MORE MONEY.
Baylee typed out a response: Why?
Kassidy was screaming and jumping up and down on the screen while the game typed out: OR ELSE I WILL RIP YOUR ARMS OUT FROM THEIR SOCKETS, STUFF KETCHUP INTO YOUR EYES, AND TIE YOUR LEGS TO A RAPID MONKEY UNTIL YOU SCREAM FOR MERCY.
Baylee gulped, thinking of how evil Kassidy (Or I should I say General Kassidy) could be when she was angry. Biting her lip, she slowly made her way towards the door and removed all of the locks/security systems on it. Chipmunk and Jenna were still standing there in bewilderment.
"Uh, sure you can babysit and bring Jenna," Baylee sighed. Chipmunk squealed and shook Baylee's hand up and down.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you! You don't know how much I need this job," Chipmunk panted, laughing a little while Jenna ran off to meet the other kids. Baylee nervously laughed as she watched Jenna trot off while Chipmunk still gave a firm grip on her hand.
"Hiya! I'm-a-Jenna!" Jenna squawked, waving her hands up in the air. "And I like brownie custard!"
"I'm, like, totally, like, Oxnard," Oxnard greeted in a valley girl accent. "Totally! Like, let's, like, go, like, shopping! Totally!"
"My name is Boss," Boss drawled in his possessed voice. "And I almost died today. I was shot in the butt."
"HE MADE THE TOUCHDOWN! HE MADE THE TOUCHDOWN, HOWDY IS THE BEST FOOTBALL PLAYER IN THE WORLD!" Howdy announced, throwing down an invisible football and beating his fists on his chest like a gorilla. Then, he started to try to do the moonwalk.
"What's the point of saying my name, I'm going to be forgotten anyway," Pashmina sighed, all dressed in black with a new tattoo of barbed wire on her wrist. It's a LONG story of how she got a tattoo.
"My name is Dexter!" Dexter sang with a long, blonde wig that he found collecting in the dust. "And I like to… be a texter! LA LA LA, LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
"As Sandy scourged to find the legendary sword of heroes, she encountered the dreaded sea of giant heaps of trash," Sandy said in a low voice, narrating what seemed to be her own comic book. "And the sea of giant heaps of trash are uncharted waters. Sandy dragged her already worn body towards the evil Dr. Boss in the sea…"
"That'll be fun," Maxwell yipped in his new optimistic tone. "I heard that the sea of giant heaps of trash supplies an amazing adrenaline rush that at least two hundred live there. But besides the danger of being eaten, ripped to shreds, or drowning, at least you won't be bored!"
"ZOMIGOSH! THIS NEWCOMER MIGHT HAVE SWINE FLU!" Stan gasped as he whipped out his Swiffer Sweeper. "OR YELLOW FEVER! OR PURPLE SPOTS ON YOUR FOREHEAD! OR EVEN… OH, NO!! THE COMMON COLD!!"
"Ha, ha! That tickles!" Jenna giggled as Stan knocked her down with his Swiffer Sweeper to decontaminate the girl.
"Yo, what up, dawg?!" Bijou rapped while doing the pimp sign. "Bijou pimpster, yup, I'm so gansta!"
"Good morrow, fair maiden! To what pleasure doth I owe to kiss thou?" Cappy greeted, bowing and kissing Jenna's hand.
"EWWWWWWWW!! A medieval rat just kissed me!" Jenna screamed.
Meanwhile, Chipmunk was still shaking Baylee's hand, droning on and on about how much Jenna was a great sister and friend. Baylee didn't listen, but just focused on how the kids were doing. Thankfully, everything was a little peaceful for now, but Dave was having a much harder time…
***
"C'mere, little piggy," Dave snarled. He held his broomstick high above his head, twirling it around in his hands. "All I want is for the sugar rush to stop. I might not even hit you that hard with my broom."
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugaaaaaaaaaaar…"
Dave smiled, knowing that his search was over. He listened intently and found that Panda was stuffed into a small cabinet. To his distress, Panda was hidden away into the "Sugar Cabinet". Ignoring the weird title, he tossed the broomstick aside and swiftly opened the doors.
"Oh, Panda," Dave cooed in a mocking tone. "Come out, come out wherever you are."
After a couple seconds of silence, Dave poked his head into the cabinet. At first, all he could smell was the looming overdose of sugar bags and bottles, but when he looked around, he saw that most of them were drained full of their sugar. Alarmed, Dave crawled inside the cabinet, finding that it was huge.
"Dang, how much sugar do these people eat?" Dave whispered quietly to himself. He looked around and saw a bag of sugar, a bottle of sugar, some sugar on the floor with Panda beside it, another bag of sugar, and another bottle of sugar.
"Wait…" Dave mumbled and slapped his forehead. "I'm such an idiot sometimes. I HAVE YOU NOW, PANDA!"
After his battle cry, he tackled a giant bag of sugar, wrestling and punching it. "Give up, you worthless piece of junk!"
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugaaaaaaaaaaaaar," Panda whispered gleefully and hopped out of the cabinet. Dave was in the middle of biting the sugar bag and looked up to see Panda just trot out of the cabinet.
"Oh, oops," he hummed innocently. He pointed hastily at the sugar bag had just ripped in half and sneered, "I'll deal with you later."
With that, he darted off to find Panda.
***
"Hey! Where is everyone?!" Kassidy called out, cupping her hands around her mouth. Hamtaro was still hidden behind the plant, shaking from head to toe.
"Hello?!" Kassidy screamed, hands curled into fists. "C'mon, someone answer me!"
"It's-a-Mario-Time!"
"What the-" Kassidy looked up to see a familiar looking plumber floating down while gripping an umbrella in his white gloves.
"I told you that you'd make it angry!" Hamtaro gasped. "Now feel alto ego's rage!"
Mario landed right in between Hamtaro and Kassidy, waving at the both of them happily. Hamtaro dashed back behind his plant and Kassidy gulped.
"Uh, uh, Mr. Mario?" Kassidy asked timidly, extending an arm out to the famous video character. Mario nodded and tipped his hat towards the twenty-year-old.
"Yeah, well, I need to go back to my own world, so if you could just show us the portal… thingy," Kassidy said bashfully. Mario turned his head to the side and started hopping up and down.
"No, no! I mean do you know how to get out of here, not your three hop attack!" Kassidy yelled. Mario gave her another curious look before ground pounding the sidewalk.
"No. Show… us… to… home," Kassidy confirmed in a caveman kind of tone.
"Sorry about my brother, he ditched class as a kid so he's not very good at English."
Hamtaro screamed and tried to jump off of the bridge, but a giant flower that looked like a sick Venus flytrap ate him and spat him out towards Kassidy. She caught a goo covered Hamtaro in her arms and threw him aside like a rag doll. Hamtaro, Mario, and Kassidy all turned around to a similar plumber, only he was wearing green instead of red and a little taller than Mario.
"Mario really doesn't know much English," the plumber repeated.
"Aren't you Luigi?" Kassidy asked suspiciously.
"Sure am. What do you have to say, Mario?" Luigi turned his head towards Mario.
"Let's-a-Go!" Mario cheered as he hopped like A MILE into the air.
"Is that all he can say?" Hamtaro questioned.
"Yahoo!" Mario yapped while giving "The Ultimate Fist Pump of Ultimate Awesomeness and Ultimate Determination".
"Pretty much," Luigi sighed. He beckoned Kassidy and Hamtaro over. "I can tell you how to get out of here."
***
"Did Hamtaro and Kassidy just meet Mario and Luigi?!" Baylee gasped when she squinted at the Gameboy. She had dismissed Chipmunk to help her take care of the kids and at the present, Chipmunk was laughing with Jenna. When Baylee looked back, she saw each kid with their new, transformed self and sighed. Maybe they would return to normal after the vitamins would wear off like the Sharpies that Laura had mentioned. Strangely enough, no one knew the actual location of the Sharpies and "gave up on the futile search" as Laura had put it. Baylee had no idea what fertilizer had to do with any of this, but her thoughts were interrupted when a loud BANG was heard from the kitchen.
Soon enough, Dave had come rushing out, chasing what seemed to be… nothing. But when he stopped, Baylee could see that Panda stopped, the invisible thing that Dave was running after.
"Oh, he's good. He's very good for a guy who stole my Pepsi," Dave panted, collapsing onto the floor.
"What happened to him?!" Baylee screeched while kicking Dave's almost unconscious body. Panda giggled manically before opening Oxnard's mouth, reaching down his mouth, and ripping out a piece of gum. Or Oxnard's tonsils. In other words, he grabbed a gooey, soft piece of pink matter.
"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar…" Panda hissed and popped the gum into his mouth. He twitched, and then was off like a roadrunner. Dave didn't have much of a reaction as usual and continued on focusing on how to breathe.
"W-What are you doing?! We need to catch Panda!" Baylee scolded, throwing her hands up in the air.
"It… seems a little harder… when you've run at least a mile in a crowded kitchen, dodging forks and knives-"
"Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Jenna chanted. Dave stared at her and then turned his head back to Baylee.
"Dodging forks and knives and leaping over stoves while waving your broom wildly around the room. That monster is pretty hard to catch," Dave finished and slowly got onto his feet.
"Okay, I'll help you, all right?" Baylee spat hastily, crossing her arms.
"Wait, is this going to lead to child abuse?" Chipmunk asked as she waltzed into the conversation.
"If it must," Dave confirmed. Baylee shot him an icy glare.
"Well, I have to disagree," Chipmunk said coolly. "Children are carefree and can away with anything they want-"
"Hey, Chippy?" Jenna had walked over and tugged on her sister's shirt. "Can I go fry an egg?"
"Eggs are in the fridge, left side, top drawer," Chipmunk dismissed and Jenna skipped happily into the kitchen. "Now, you guys need to treat kids with care because inside of each of them is a heart of gold-"
"Hey, Chip?" Jenna intervened again. "Where's the fire extinguisher?"
"Outside the room, first hallway, to your right," Chipmunk directed and turned back to the other two daycare leaders. She clapped her hands and continued, "So let's make sure that we all are very nice to them because they need someone to look up to. Jenna looks up to me to do the right thing, I'm her role model. And look where it's gotten me now!"
"Hey, Chipmunk?" Jenna rushed over to the older group of kids. "What's the number for the fire department?"
***
"Let's-a-Go!" Mario chanted, hopping up and down. Hamtaro, Kassidy, and Luigi seemed less enthusiastic and didn't want to skip the miles that they had just walked.
"We're almost there," Luigi said at last when they came to a castle. It had lightning shooting above it with dark clouds swell near the moldy green lake. Hamtaro and Kassidy looked over to the drawbridge that had spikes extending from it and they gulped at the same time.
"Where is the portal thing, Luigi?" Kassidy asked cautiously.
"Oh-a-no!" Mario screamed and covered his eyes with his hat. Luigi looked in the direction of what Mario was staring at and his mouth dropped, hopping up and down like those video game characters would do.
"Look! It's our arch nemesis!" Luigi shrunk into the shadows as a giant, menacing…
"Hey, everybody!" Sonic yelled out. Everyone fell over like those video game characters would do.
"Sonic!" Luigi barked like those video game characters would do. "What are you doing in a Mario game?"
Sonic shrugged like those video game characters would do. "I got bored at home."
Kassidy then yelled out, "I don't care! This is turning into a nightmare, where the heck is exit?!"
"The only exit is at the top of Bowser's castle through that portal." Luigi pointed up towards what seemed to be a swirling vortex of death. And, no, it was not a tornado, it was a blue flat disk spinning ominously. The wind didn't howl and no songbirds were heard as Kassidy grabbed Hamtaro's hand and led him into the castle, leaving a trembling Luigi, stuttering Mario, and a singing Sonic.
"Hey!" Hamtaro cried out, looking around the torture chambers. "This looks like my basement! I wonder if Dummy is buried here!"
Ripping his grasp from Kassidy, Hamtaro ran through a chamber, leaving Kassidy all by herself. The daycare leader just stared in shock at how quickly Hamtaro had disappeared and took a step towards the dark, creepy hallway to get cool of breeze wind that caused goose bumps on her arms. Kassidy shivered and ventured into the hallway.
However, before she could go any farther, a giant voice from above yelled, "Level 1! The Hallway of Death!"
"The hallway of-" Kassidy repeated, but her shock was interrupted by the numbers of arrows that fired at her.
"Oh, geez…" she mumbled as Level 1 started.
***
"All right, so all we have to do is tackle Panda, gag him, ship him off to Canada so he'll be raised by wolves, and we'll never see that sugar obsessed maniac again…"
"Dave," Baylee sighed. "As much as I want to go with that plan, I don't think that we have the money to ship a kid off to Canada illegally."
"Dammit," Dave muttered.
"Hey!" Chipmunk barked. "There are children around you, they might think it's okay to talk like that."
Then, Dexter starting singing a lot of… ~cough, cough~ unique words.
"Too late," Baylee muttered.
"So how the heck are we supposed to stop Panda?" Chipmunk wondered. Then, Panda, as if he was Sonic, zoomed to their group and stopped dead at Dave's feet.
"YOUGOTSOMESUGARIWANTSOMESUGARIREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYLIKESURGAR! GIMMESOMESUGARCUZIREALLYREALLYREALLYREALLYSUGAR!" Panda chanted over and over again. All three daycare leaders covered their ears from the earsplitting noise, gritting their teeth together in an attempt to block out Panda's rant.
"OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?!" Dave burst out, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. "YOU WANT SUGAR?! I'LL GIVE YOU THE DAMN SUGAR!"
"I told you not to say any bad words!" Chipmunk scolded, looking over her shoulder as Dexter starting singing more unique words.
"LET DEXTER GO TO HELL! I DON'T CARE! HERE'S THE SUGAR, PANDA!" Dave threw the biggest bag of sugar you've ever seen at Panda's face and the kid toppled over from the weight. Baylee and Chipmunk slowly turned to each other while Dave dusted his hands off in pride.
"You idiot! You're the biggest sinner in the friggn' world!" Chipmunk feverishly screamed.
"You've killed him! By chucking a sugar bag at his face! How are the police gonna believe us- I mean you?" Baylee sobbed.
"I didn't think that you'd miss him that much. Besides, I can't kill him, remember?" Dave sneered.
"Have you no shame, sinner?" Chipmunk hissed while poking Dave's nose.
"Remember when I shot Boss?" he said, putting his hands up over his head as if he was arrested.
"Yeah…" the girls said in unison.
"Well, even if I shot him with an AK47, he lived. See, no one can die in this story."
Baylee and Chipmunk stared at him a long time while Dave nodded his head happily. They opened their mouths and then closed them, trying to think of something to say, only to have no words come out of their mouths.
"I guess… I guess you're right," Baylee spluttered, putting her left hand to her side in defeat.
"I love it when I'm right," Dave sniggered.
"Enjoy it while you can, sinner, because that's rare," Chipmunk snorted, hands on her hips as she stuck her nose in the air.
"Yeah! Wait, wha-"
Before Dave could think of some comeback, the door bust open to… Laura.
Panting, she was covered in mud and her hair was tangled up in leaves and twigs. Her face was red and her eyes were closed in a pained expression as if she had just run a marathon. Tossing aside a long, long, long piece that said "LAURA'S RAP SHEET", she leaned against the wall.
"Oh, man, I'm not ever doing that again," she huffed. The others were so surprised by her entrance that they didn't say anything and just stared at her. It seemed that it was just then that she caught sight of the new daycare leaders.
"HOLY SNAPPERDOODLE, WHO ARE YOU UGLY PEOPLE?!" Laura shrieked and whipped out a harpoon. All three daycare leaders put their hands up in the air and out came a rush of protests.
"Whoa, what's with the harpoon?!" Baylee screamed.
Laura slumped her shoulders a little before telling her story. "Okay, like, so when I was in the Himalayas running for my life, the police said that I couldn't use a bazooka in Nepal because the Buddhist monks didn't want 'violence'. So, I had to chuck the bazooka off of Mt. Everest and waited for the aliens from Mars to come and pick me up before Jim Gaffigan could arrest me, but of course, he added more crap to my rap sheet. Then, I communicated with space aliens of Denver, Colorado and they helped me abduct the rap sheet, which I just ripped up in front of you guys. Then-"
"Just cut to the chase!" Dave spat.
Laura shot him a glare. "Dude, like, I just was in the middle of the greatest story in the universe. But… *sigh* since you ruined it, I got this harpoon from Michaiah since my bazooka is in Nepal. You know, the Michaiah at the pool who wanted to marry Stan. I'm sure you all have heard of that at some point."
"You know, it sounds familiar," Chipmunk thought aloud. "I think I read about that on FanFiction in the Hamtaro section."
"We don't have time for FanFiction!" Baylee yelped, throwing her hands up in the air. "Or Hamtaro! We need to subdue Panda and the rest of the kids. Not to mention get Hamtaro and Kassidy out of that video game-"
"Whoa, what about two people stuck in a video game?" Laura laughed in a joking matter.
"It's a looooooooooooooooong story… But we need to see if Panda is dead or not!" Baylee screamed, the stress ceasing upon her.
"Don't worry, I'm sure that we'll be able to-" Chipmunk started, but was slapped in the back of the head by Stan's Swiffer Sweeper.
"DUST BUNNIES ARE ON THE DARK SIDE! CLEANILESS IS WHAT MAKE THE WORLD GO SPINNY! I'M DISINFECTING THIS PART!" Stan announced and hit Laura in the head with the Swiffer Sweeper before leaping off of the chair he was on and running over to Boss, who was still singing LoveGame in a possessed tone.
"I think that we might need a little help," Baylee said slowly while Laura and Chipmunk held their heads, moaning in pain. Dave nodded, trying not to laugh.
"We just need a couple more people on our side…" Dave said slowly.
"We just need a couple more people on our side!"
"Jenna!" gasped Chipmunk who appeared to have a full recovery at the voice of her sister. "Don't tell me that you took some of those vitamins!"
"Jenna?!" Laura screamed who appeared to have a full recovery at the mention of another kid in the room. "When did she get here?! There's enough chaos- I mean, kids in here!"
"Jenna! When did she get in here! There's enough chaos- I mean kids in here!" Jenna mimicked in a high pitched tone.
"Stop copying us," Dave sneered, hoping that would shut the girl up.
"Stop copying us!" Jenna squeaked.
"That's it!" Chipmunk roared and dove for Jenna.
"That's it!" Jenna screamed and jumped out of the way.
"When mom hears about this, you are so dead!" Chipmunk cried in fury.
"When mom hears about this, you are so dead!" Jenna copied and the two were set on a chase. The other daycare leaders just looked at one another for a while.
"I'll get some help," Laura mumbled and whipped out her phone.
YAY! The final battle between tweens/teens and little five to six year olds begins!
WHO WANTS TO JOIN THE FORCE?!
I want all of the readers to send in a review with either an OC or themselves to join the next chapter. Please put it in this format:
Name:
Age: (optional)
Kids you want to fight:
MUST READ THE FOLLOWING CONTENT!!!
The name part is pretty much self explanatory and age is only for fun, all right? "Kids you want to fight" is the part where you get to decide which ham-ham you want to un-crazy. For example, I (Laura) got dibbs on curing Boss. You put in the top three kids you want to un-crazy and leave the writing part to me. I need EVERYONE to do this because it'll be more fun to read and become a better story. It really doesn't take that long, like thirty seconds to type in less than twenty words. I'm BEGGING you to leave a review to get into the next chapter!