A/N: You, my lovely readers, make me so happy. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I love writing. And this story is so far my favorite one to write. I feel like I matured (and am not making such terrible typos I hope) since the first story I wrote and I hope you agree.
I have no idea and I can't even predict what will happen with Callie and Arizona. They want different things but they're trying to compromise and I don't want this to end them.
Callie was driving on one of the side roads. Everything was calm and peaceful, her radio softly playing in the background. She had a smile on her face and her hand came down to rub her potruding belly. Everything was going perfect but then suddenly she was being forced towards the windshield. She couldn't do anything as she fell. And she was falling for a long time. She briefly remembered seeing lights on the truck in which she crashed. Her car was spinning and turning and her body was being thrown around. She really should have put on a seat belt. And then a sharp pain cursed through her body. When she opened her eyes she was laying on top of an overheated hood on her car. She couldn't move. Didn't dare to move. She was aware of pain though. And then she closed her eyes just for a second and when she opened them again she heard sirens and saw lights flashing from the ambulance and fire truck. She opened her mouth to say something but couldn't form a word. Her brain wasn't working properly. Her body was feeling numb.
"Ma'am can you say anything?" A paramedic asked. He turned his flashlight in Callie's eyes. "Her pupils aren't responding."
A group of paramedics with a help of firefighters slowly moved Callie's body into an ambulance. Callie wanted to scream but couldn't. She could hardly breathe. Her baby wasn't kicking anymore. She started panicking and shaking with tears. Her baby wasn't moving.
Eyes went wide on the paramedic. "Ma'am you need to calm down." They were just trying to hook her on the monitor when Callie started moving. "Everything is alright, we need you to stay still."
Callie started choking. She couldn't breathe. Blood was coming out of her mouth and she couldn't remember anything else.
Ambulance started moving as they tried to stabilize Callie. It took them a while to realize she was pregnant and they needed to take care of the fetus as well. The fetal monitor didn't give them any good news and it was probably too late for the baby now.
Callie was rushed in the trauma room where she started being aware of things. Her chest hurt. And her stomach. And her head. She tried concentrating on what they were talking about until she heard there was no heart beat caught on the fetal monitor. She tried to send her body signals so that the baby's heart would restart but it never happened. And then she heard it. A tiny little beat. But her own heart failed her and she started crashing.
Once she was stable enough surgeons rushed Callie in an operating room, anxious on what the end results would be like. They had to be quick but not make any mistakes. They paged their best pediatric surgeon in the operating room. The baby was only only 23 weeks old. The pediatric surgeon waited for the baby to be delivered with a c-section. There was no cry and the color was bad. The baby was laid on the bed and they intubated and pushed drugs into a tiny body. Nothing helped. Pediatric surgeon shook her head and her blue eyes turned to the baby's mom who's eyes were suddenly opened.
Callie gasped for air as she suddenly bolted up on the bed. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn't focus on what just happened. She had a dream. Terrible dream. Her throat was dry and suddenly the door to her bedroom were being pushed open and a very worried Arizona appeared.
"I heard you scream. What's wrong?" Arizona squinted as she turned on the lights. She was always a light sleeper and when she heard Callie scream it made her stumble right out of her bed.
Callie was still breathing heavily. "Yeah. Just a nightmare." She didn't even realize she was screaming. She rubbed her face with her palms before sighing.
"Wanna talk about it?" Arizona asked hesitantly. She was still lingering at the door afraid to walk further. Callie only shrugged. "I'll bring you a glass of warm milk while you think about it okay?"
Callie smiled. "Thank you." She leaned back on the pillows and went through her nightmare. It was so vivid. Almost as if it was real. And in a way it was. She's seen it before with Erica. She had those nightmares for months after the accident but it was never her behind the wheel. She was always just simply standing there and watching Erica die but now she watched herself die. And her baby die. She let out a shaky breath and stood up. Now that she was awake she might as well use the bathroom. The baby really did a number on her bladder.
Arizona returned to the guest room with a cup of milk and scanned the room. Callie wasn't there anymore. "Callie?"
"I'll be out in a minute," Callie said loudly from the bathroom.
Arizona sighed in relief and set the cup down. She sat on the bed and waited for Callie to come from the bathroom. She wasn't sure if she could go to sleep without knowing what Callie had dreamed about.
Callie walked back to the bed. "Sorry I just really had to go pee," she said and flopped back on the bed. She took a few sips from her milk before noticing Arizona looking at her full of expectations. "Right, the nightmare," she said through a sigh.
"I don't want you to tell me if you don't want to. I just think it could help you get it out of your system." Arizona was slowly encouraging Callie. She didn't want to push her too far.
Callie laughed. "You just want to know what I dreamed about." Her laughter died and she cleared her throat. "I dreamed about being in a car crash. It's like I was looking at me dying. And my baby died. You were there in the operating room, shaking your head. I heard you pronouncing time of death. It was horrible. I didn't know I was screaming though.
Arizona didn't know what to say. She was not expecting this kind of nightmare. But then again bad dreams were usually based on things that happened in real life. "Is there a reason why this nightmare happened?"
"Yesterday was anniversary of Erica's car crash," Callie admitted. She looked at the clock. "Which meant she died at 1 am today." She was surprised at how easily she could say Erica's name. It always caused some sort of pain or sadness but at that moment she didn't feel it. She felt grief.
"I'm so sorry," Arizona said sadly. "I can't imagine how that feels like." Even though her and Julie broke up and hasn't talked since that day she didn't really lose someone she loved. Their relationship has been rocky for weeks now and she just didn't feel loved anymore. But Callie was happily engaged before and was expecting a child.
"I don't really remember anymore," Callie said. "When they died I felt lost for so long. And then after that I was numb. I didn't let myself feel anything. And I just blocked those memories." She chewed on her lower lip for a few seconds. "You are actually the first person I'm openly talking about this. By myself." Her parents never asked, friends didn't dare to push her and her therapist didn't know how to get Callie to open up to him.
Arizona smiled. "That makes me feel really special."
"Or maybe it's just because I have a verbal diarrhea and you're the only person around me lately," Callie said and laughed.
Arizona didn't say anything just waited for Callie to finish her milk. "You okay to sleep now?"
"Probably," Callie said and leaned back. She closed her eyes as the warm bed engulfed her. Tiredness washed over her body. "Definitely," she murmured. She pulled the covers up to her neck and turned to her side. She was asleep in only a few minutes.
Arizona stayed until Callie's breathing evened out. Then she quietly turned off the lights and closed the door. She sighed deeply and went in the kitchen to place the cup in the sink and also made some warm milk for herself. She missed Julie. But not so much as a lover as she missed her as a friend. She sighed and then decided to head back to bed herself. She had a long day. She has made plans to go shopping for baby's furniture with Callie and her mom. She had briefly explained to her mom that she broke up with Julie but it was over the phone and she knew her mom wanted every single detail. With those thoughts she fell in her bed and fell asleep. It took her longer than usually but eventually she settled down.
Callie woke up later than usually the next morning. She hasn't slept that good in a while and she woke up feeling well rested and ready for a day filled with Arizona and her mother. She still felt a little self conscious about joining in an activity that should be mother/daughter moment only but Barbara was so kind to her and she didn't want to disappoint her. Arizona already said they would both be there. She got out of bed and down the stairs. Now almost 7 months pregnant she was moving slower and more careful. The kitchen already smelled like breakfast. The only kind Arizona knew how to make. Pancakes. But this time it was different. "Morning," she said.
Arizona smiled when she glanced briefly at Callie. "Morning. It's gonna be a long day so I'm spoiling you this morning."
Callie's eyes widened when she saw bacon. She hasn't eaten bacon since Arizona banned it from the house. "I kinda love you now," she said and stole a piece of crispy bacon.
"Wait for the pancakes though," Arizona ordered. Like she said it was going to be a long day. She has been checking baby furniture for weeks now and she knew she would be in the mall for a long time. And she wanted Callie to be comfortable so her favorite breakfast it was. She poured some maple syrup over the pancakes. She couldn't eat bacon with them but Callie seemed to enjoy it.
Callie rubbed her belly, the baby gently kicking. They seemed to be happy about their breakfast too. "When is your mom getting here?
Arizona checked the clock on the wall. "In about half an hour. Was breakfast good?"
"Amazing," Callie said. "And the baby liked it too."
Arizona smiled back. "Okay, well I'm gonna get the dishes, you get ready."
"Okay," Callie said. She gave up on trying to do more chores because Arizona simply said no to everything. And she also got used to wearing maternity clothes which were actually quite comfortable. And not all that bad looking. She was almost ready when the front door opened and she knew it was Barbara.
"Honey!" Barbara yelled through the house.
Arizona rolled her eyes. "In the living room!" she yelled back. Her mom never rang the doorbell but yelled the second she entered the house. Arizona placed the laptop on the coffee table. "Hi," she said and hugged her mom.
"You look well. But you could have cleaned up more around here," Barbara said, taking a look around the house. It wasn't even dirty though. She just liked to tease her daughter.
Arizona sighed. "It's clean mom. I might be a busy surgeon but I have enough time to make sure I have a nice home."
Callie carefully but quickly walked down the stairs. She didn't want to make everyone wait for her. "Hi Mrs. Robbins," she said and waved awkwardly. She was comfortable around Arizona but a complete babbling idiot around Barbara. She felt slightly stupid for feeling that way.
"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Barbara?" Barbara said in a disapproving voice.
"I'm sorry. Barbara," Callie said correcting herself. "Are we going alone?" she checked. She had briefly met Daniel and it was obvious he wasn't too fond of her.
Arizona sighed. "Dad's waiting in the car." She couldn't understand why her dad was so upset about her hiring a surrogate mother. And she was worried he wouldn't love his first grandchild because of the same reason.
"Oh okay," Callie said nervously.
Barbara went first and Arizona walked up to Callie. "My dad's nice really. Even if he doesn't like someone he's still polite."
Callie just nodded. They got in the car and Arizona sat in the back with her. Arizona's parents owned a minivan that was large enough for a small army. And had enough space for whatever they were going to buy today. Arizona made a small checklist of everything she needed and after that she would just buy whatever would seem nice. The room where the baby would stay has been emptied and was ready to be painted in soft pastel colors. Arizona wanted the room to be in theme but hasn't figured which yet.
"Where to?" Daniel asked, snapping Arizona out of her thoughts.
Arizona hummed as she thought about it. Online shopping was different from actually going shopping. "Just go to the mall and we'll figure it out there. They have lots of shops there with baby furniture and clothes."
"Do you need clothes already?" Daniel wondered as he pulled from the driveway.
"Of course she needs clothes already Daniel," Barbara interrupted before Arizona could answer. "You have to be prepared for a baby. If I could decide we would have gone shopping weeks ago."
Callie chuckled at Arizona's eye roll. Watching Daniel and Barbara bicker at each other made her miss her family.. They parked close to the entrance of the mall. She assumed it was for her benefit. She got tired quickly.
They went to the shop where they sold furniture first. Arizona decided to have larger furniture delivered at her house instead of taking it home with her. "What kind of crib should I get?" Arizona asked as she looked through the large collections of cribs.
"You could buy a bassinet first," Callie said. "If you plan on having the baby in your room for the first few weeks." It still hurt whenever she thought about the day that she and the baby would be separated. And it was getting closer.
Barbara agreed. "Or you could buy a crib and then later moved the crib to the room. It's your decision though, honey."
Arizona sighed. "Let's check the sets." Her eyes widened. "This is so pretty," she gushed. Her eyes immediately noticed a set of crib and a changing table that was in the theme of Lion King. There was even a plush lion on the changing table. "I need this."
"Honey, you're not buying this for yourself."
Arizona rolled her eyes. "I am." And she also found a theme for the room. Disney movies. She heard Callie laughing at her excitement and she turned. "What?"
Callie chuckled. "Nothing. It's just amusing looking at you."
A worker stepped to them. "Hi, do you need any help?" She first saw Callie because of her pregnant belly but then she noticed Arizona looking around excitedly. "Oh we always welcome same sex couples in our store."
"Oh we're not," Arizona started.
"We have a great sale for couples like you," the worker interrupted.
Arizona smirked and took Callie's hand. "Well we'd be interested."
Callie had to hold back a laughter. When the worker turned around Arizona released her hand. "That was very sneaky of you," she teased.
Arizona didn't have time to answer because the worker was talking again. "Here we have some of our very best nursery sets. Do you know the gender of your baby?"
"We prefer being surprised," Callie replied sweetly.
"That's okay too. This are the best gender neutral ones. Take your time."
Arizona looked around. "Aw this one is in theme with jungle animals. It's so cute. What do you think?"
"I don't know. I kinda like the one with the bear theme better. It's really cute," Callie said honestly.
Arizona ended up picking the one Callie chose. The set included the crib, mattress, mattress protector, 3 sets of bedding, changing mat and a changing table. And as promised she didn't even have to pay full price for that. She made a deal with the shop to have it delivered in a week. "Now, the fun part." She had to make a racional decision about where her baby would sleep but now she was able to spend money on stuff like a baby bouncer, infant lounger, a few pointless baby toys. Then they had to move to another store.
"Have you thought about bottles?" Daniel asked Arizona.
"Of course. I found this great set online and you can get it here too. Look." The set included 5 bottles, a transition cup, cleaning brush and a pacifier. Next to the bottles she bought a set of 3 bibs with different animals printed on front of them. Arizona has waited for this for a long time. She adored shopping for a baby and couldn't wait to be able to shop with the baby too. "Oh look at all this clothes."
Callie looked over the long line of baby clothes. "They're really cute." She lifted a strapped black and white one-sie. It was also very tiny. "And so small."
Arizona looked over at her dad who was already pushing an almost full cart and then at her mother who's hands were empty. "Mom how many of these can you carry?"
"Sweetie, don't go overboard. When you were born we just stuffed you in your brother's old clothes and you were happy," Barbara said with a shrug.
"I can feel the love," Arizona muttered under her breath. She wanted her child to have nothing but the best and the very cute hoodie with bear ears was the best. Half an hour later she filled 3 shopping bags with baby clothes."We need to get something for bath time and we need a car seat too."
Callie laughed. She was starting to feel tired from walking for hours now but at the same time she didn't want to miss anything Arizona would buy. It made her feel included watching how many things the baby will own. "I actually saw this great car seat in the other store we.. you bought a crib." When she was with Erica they never got to this point. They never had the chance to go shopping for the baby together.
"Really?" Arizona asked hesitantly. She was too focused on the crib to notice anything else but her taste was very different from Callie's.
"You'll like it I promise."
Arizona followed Callie into the previous store and she immediately noticed what Callie was talking about. It was colorful. Blue, orange, white and gray. She could buy this and it would work for both girl and a boy. And it looked really pretty too. Arizona didn't hesitate on buying it. "Thank you."
"I only saw it," Callie replied and rubbed her baby bump. She was feeling quite hungry and the baby kept kicking her but she didn't want to make everyone stop.
"I would be searching for another perfect car seat for quite a long time," Arizona said. She noticed Callie looking around. "Are you hungry?"
"No," Callie said, too quickly.
"It's fine. I'm hungry too, actually," Arizona said and laughed. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I'm sure my dad's getting pretty tired too but he doesn't want to say it. So how about we go to that amazing restaurant upstairs?"
Callie licked her lips. "Can I get pizza?" Arizona nodded making her throw her first in the air. "Yes," she whispered to herself.
Arizona pretended she didn't hear her, smiling to herself. She found it funny that just pizza could make Callie this happy.