Disclaimer: Stargate - Not Mine, Story - Mine

Author Notes: Wow...It has been I long time since I sat down and worked on this.

Flashback

"No Way! Absolutely not!"

"Damn it, McKay!" Laura yells, unable to hold back her frustration. They have been having this same argument for the last three days. "They need you back in Atlantis."

"And I'll go back," Rodney starts, "once they agree to let you go too."

"They are not going to do that, Rodney." She tells him as she tries her hardest not lose her temper again. "I'm pregnant. I have told you a million times that there is no way they are going to allow me to go anywhere other than behind a desk at the SGC."

"There are desks in Atlantis. You could…"

"No."

"But, I could…"

"I said no, McKay." Laura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "Go." Opening her eyes she tries to keep her emotions under control. "I don't want you here. I can do this by myself."

"Laura, I…"

"GO AWAY, RODNEY! I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"

End Flashback

Evaluating the risks of off world missions is not exactly the most exciting jog at the SGC but someone has to do it. Yeah like a certain lieutenant with a serious lack of common sense and self control… Laura Cadman sighs as she reads over the mission briefing laying on the desk in front of her. Her eyes shift to the clock on the wall across the room and watch the thin needle slowly tick off the seconds. "This is my own personal Hell…"

"Cadman…?"

"Yes." Laura's voice is sharp as she looks toward the intruding voice. "Oh…Colonel Carter…I'm sorry. I…"

"Its quite alright, Lieutenant." Samantha Carter says with a small warm smile. "I was just passing by when I heard."

"Heard…?" Confusion spread through Laura's face.

"Something about your own personal Hell."

"Oh…I didn't realize I said that out loud."

"Are you okay?" Sam walks across the room and take a seat in the chair opposite her. "I know we have never really talked but I'm willing to listen if there is something you need to get off your chest."

"I don't know…" Laura shakes her head. "Its just… Has there ever been anything you never knew you wanted but then when you did you knew there was no way you could have it?"

"Actually," Sam smiles again as she thinks about the question. "I think know exactly what you mean." She leans forward and rests her elbows on the desk. "In our chosen profession certain things are harder for us. A lot harder than they should be."

"No kidding…"

"You are a good soldier, Laura." Sam reaches across and gently covers the younger woman's hands with her own. "You'll be a good mother, too."

"I hope so."

"I DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"

The words sneak back into Rodney McKay's head as his mind wanders during yet another boring department head meeting. How could she not want me there? I am only the father after all. He tries to focus his attention back on the notes on the computer screen in front of him. Why am I even mad about this…? Its Cadman. Laura Cadman the most irritatingly, annoying woman in any galaxy. Who also happens to be carrying my child…

"This is so ridiculous!"

"You have something to add, Dr. McKay?" Radek's voice has a hint of annoyance at the sudden interruption as he folds his arms across his chest.

"No." Rodney is aware all eyes are on him but not caring in the least. "This is ridiculous and a waste of my time." He manages to add as he unplugs his laptop and storms out of the lab. Way to make yourself look like more of an ass….

"Rodney?"

"What?!" Rodney turns abruptly as he snaps at the voice behind him.

Teyla Emmagan raises her eyebrow at the sharp tone of her teammates voice. Seeing the surprise mixed with his usual sour scientist expression she asks, "Is every alright, Dr. McKay?"

"Yes…no…" He stutters over his answer before finally settling on one. "Yes, everything is just fine."

Teyla tilts her head to the side as she studies his reaction. "No. I do not believe so." A small smile forms as she closes the gap between them. "Come. Let us walk and you can tell me what it is that is bothering you."

"There is nothing bothering me." Rodney counter even as he falls into step beside the Athosian woman.

The pair walk in silence for a few minutes before Rodney looks at the woman beside him. "Am I a good person?" What the fuck…where did that come from?

"Of course you are, Rodney." Teyla smiles kindly back at him. "A little hard on the outside but a good person none the less." Another moment of silence passes between them before she poses her own question, "Does this have to do with what happened with Lieutenant Cadman?"

Shit…how does she know about that?

"Rodney, parenthood is not an easy task for anyone." She tells him as they come to the end of the corridor. "You must both learn to accept what has happened and move forward."

"So in other words, forget her and move on."

"Do you really believe you can do that? That you could turn your back on your own child?"

"I don't know. What else can I do?" Rodney shifts uncomfortably. "She told me to go. She said she didn't want me around."

"Rodney McKay giving up on something." Teyla smirks at the idea. "I thought I'd never see the day."

"I am not giving up."

"What ever you say, Rodney." She smiles as she turns the corner and walks away from the gaping man.

I am not giving up.