Again very sorry there has been a huge gap between this and the previous chapter, i just haven't had chance to finish it. I will upload another soon. Please read and review

12 February 2014

Smurf rang me yesterday and he didn't sound right so I have decided to take a trip to Newport, I suppose I will get to see what the please really looks like. He called to ask what I was up too and if I am busy but I couldn't help noticing he wouldn't answer my questions. I'm sat on the train thinking about the boss and how things will turn out once we return from Afghan. Do I want to stay in the army? And if we wanted to be together we could never work in the same platoon so it would be difficult. I just hope it's not some kind of fling whilst we're on tour, like when you hear of them holiday romances, except tour isn't a holiday, far from it really.

When the train arrives in Newport I hop off and follow a young family in front. They look like they know where they are going so what harm can it do aye? I soon realise they are heading towards the toilets and it looks like the young boy is crossing his legs, that plan didn't turn out so well. I head back on to the platform and walk towards the centre of the station to see Smurf holding a bunch of flowers.

"Ditch them you noofter." He has a huge grin on his face and then looks down at the flowers in his arms.

"What you don't like them?"

"What is this? Some sort of tampax advert? Bin 'em" I can't help but laugh at his facial expression he looks disappointed, does he really think I am a flowers kind of girl, really? Well, not from him anyway.

"Where do ya want to go then Mols?" We are heading towards the exit of the train station. This place is a lot quieter than any of the London stations and people are actually walking not sprinting for the next train.

"Shall we 'ave a pint or wha?"

"Bloody piss head. How's home?" Why is he the one asking all of the questions?

"It's alright. Bu no one understands. It's ard. Wha about you?"

"Yea.. erm, I'm the same. My mother keeps lurking about, doing my head in to be honest. I'm that bored I might as well be in Afghan."

We both agree and it seems we both struggle with getting into the 'normal' lifestyle. Home just isn't the same anymore, yes I feel safe here and I don't need eyes at the back of my head, but 2 section are my family now and I need to know they're safe. I'm just worried I'll go back and they're all in hospital or even worse, on their way home.. I shake the thoughts out of my head.

Smurf has taken me to some pub which to me looks like a dump with a few old people and then a huge group of men/lads at the bar. It turns out, they are Smurfs mates and they wanted to celebrate him not dying in the minefield. Hmm, great celebration that!

"So how many people have you killed then?" I look up-as always when I speak to people- to see an extremely tall man, with afro hair looking down at my tits. It looks like all of the so called 'men' in Newport are muppets.

"Loads 'n a'll add you to this list if you carry on staring at my tits!" He turns away and joins in the conversation with the group. He or anyone here will never compare to the boss man, he is ten of these lot.

13 February 2014

So after the pub yesterday, Smurf took me to where his brother's ashes were scattered and to be honest it was a beautiful place. Apparently the boss had been there too and it was as if I had felt so close to him, the closest I have been to him since coming home from Afghan. It feels so strange to know the next time I will be in England, I may be giving things ago with the boss.

I have invited Smurf to stay in London tonight so we can both head back to Brize together tomorrow. His mum will be dropping us off later this afternoon and I thought I had better get some of the lads shopping out of the way. I had forgotten all about it until now so I'm going to be heading into the city centre, one thing I hate doing.

London is packed. I have not missed this place one bit everyone is running around swearing under their breath. I have picked up the all of the contents on the list including Dangles' boxers from Primark and I leave the boss' until last, his is the most important.

I cannot believe that there is one shop- a big one- which sells just coffee and coffee machines, surely that's a waste of a shop? The coffee capsules have been boxed and wrapped with a little red bow, I'm not too sure what his favourite colour is so I went for the red ribbon-everyone loves red. I walk past Debenhams and decide to treat myself to some new underwear. Well, that was what I thought, turns out nothing takes my fancy, but I find a mug saying 'Boss man's mug' and I couldn't resist the urge to buy it.

14 February 2014

The one day that all singletons dread, Valentine's Day, but I know the one person who I would love to spend it with is 7 hours away on the plane. I've never really been bothered about the hearts and flowers and spending time with the person you love – mostly because I have never loved anyone- but these feelings I have for the boss, they aren't a fling or a little fancy. Since I have been home and been away from him, I have actually begun to think I am in love with him. Yes, me. Molly Dawes. In love with a posh snob! Who would have thought.

Packing didn't take long, I added some Sensodyne toothpaste and a few packs of hobnobs to my Bergen and made my way downstairs.

"Look after each other you two. Don't get doin anythen I wouldn't do aye Smurf" My nan shot a wink towards Smurf. Does she really think me and Smurf have thing together? I mean really?

"Shut up Nan.."

Everyone is out on the balcony, even my dad giving both me and Smurf hugs. It has been so nice to come home and see everyone even seeing my dad. He is a completely different person now he is off the drink!

….

In the cab Smurf has fallen asleep, I know I have no chance of catching any zzzz's because I am so excited to be back in Aghan. I get to see the boss, today! Thinking back to the start of tour, he wouldn't even look at me, he just assumed I was a shit medic who would do a shit job and just take the piss, but no, I have proven him and the lads wrong and it feels great.

With only hitting a bit of traffic on the M40 we made it to Brize in just over 2 hours. Somehow Smurf slept the whole bleeding way, the jammy sod.

The journey on the plane felt longer than seven hours and with no proper seats, it wasn't the most comfortable ride. I ended up listening to my ipod all the way wishing I had downloaded a few films to keep me busy.

Stepping off the plane and onto the tarmac/sand at Bastian, the heat hit me straight away. Although it is February it is a lot warmer at Bastian than it is at the FOB, due to the mountains, it is still warmer than England. Both I and Smurf are sent into a small topless car which takes us over to an apache where we board and wait for the signals to take off. I didn't think we would be sent straight to the FOB, I thought we would have to go through with our passports or something, I don't bleeding know, but I don't care, the sooner we're there the better.

….

"Wahheyyyy they're back!" Looking up at the watch tower I see Fingers, Baz and Nude-nut. Looks like them three are fine, they sure sound it. After going through the gates we are greeted by the whole of two section who hug us both and then raid our Bergen's, it a good job I didn't pack any nice underwear! After greeting all the lads I turn around to see the boss stood with his arms crossed and a huge grin on his face. God, he is so bleeding gorgeous!

"Alright boss!"

"Dawes." His facial expression doesn't change and he doesn't seem to give much away either. From not seeing him for two weeks, all I want to do is wrap my arms around him and not stop kissing, not sure we would get away with that though, not in front of these nooftas.

From talking to Jackie-the replacement medic and also the girl who I met at Bastian- it turns out the only injury they have had is Mansfield, falling and twisting his ankle. Apparently he was trying to get all of the lads to wait on him hand and foot but none of them took any notice.

Whilst I am reading through the notes of any medical issues the boss pops his head through the door and my attention immediately turns to face James.

"It's nice ta be back, couldn't get me nut into a normal routine."

"Well, what do you call this then?"

"I see you haven't had your blisters checked!"

"Maybe you can give them a once over later then?" He has a smile across his face and then bites his bottom lip. He really shouldn't do that, not here!

"Oi, Mols! You went to bloody Newport and you weren't held hostage?" I hear from outside which I think came from Kinders and I can't help but laugh. They really think Newport is a shit hole and I bet none of them have ever been.

Kinders bursts into the medical tent. "C'mon then, how big of a shit hole is it?" As soon as Kinders enters, James leaves pulling a face and not saying a word. What the bleeding hell happened there? Was it the Smurf situation? It doesn't even mean anything bleeding happened and he thinks something has gone on.

It turns out Smurf has been giving the impression that we both stayed in the same room in both London and Newport. For starters, I never stayed in Newport and we were dropped off by his Mother in London! Lying twat!

I go searching for him, he needs to know nothing will ever happen between the two of us, not now not ever!

I find him just beside the make shift gym sorting out bottles of water.

"Wha ave you gone n said to them lot?"

"Nothin, you know what the piss taking bastards are like.."

"Why are they saying we slept together, in the same pissin room." He looks away and acts busy separating bottles into different containers.

"You bleedin told em didn't ya! When are you gonna get it into ya thick skull. I don't fancy ya, I don't love ya and I never will!" I am angry at this point, even shouting at Smurf. What a twat!

"Mols, ya never know me and you, when we're home we make a good couple!" Is he brain dead or something? How will I ever get through to him?

"Piss off Smurf!" I walk away before I end up knocking his block off! He is defiantly deluded, how can he make up that pile of shit and even believe it?

Instead of going to look for the boss, I think about how he should trust me. He spoke to me before I left, saying to stay away from Smurf and I did, I only went to shitty Newport because I was worried about him and it turns out he has made up all of this shit. I don't know whether it is to look good in front of the lads, or he actually wished it had happened. I just don't understand. I head towards the mess tent to find Brains, Fingers and Baz eating their dinner. I know they are going to give me an ear full of Smurfs lies, but it is best to face it now.

"Everything alright Mol?" Fingers moves along the bench to make some room between him and Brains.

"Yea Mols, we heard you n Smurf.." Oh god here we go, this is where I have to try and put it all straight. To be honest I might just leave it, what harm will it do the boss already hates me.

".. We're fed up of hearing his lies. I mean we knew really you wouldn't even sleep with him, hes not your type." Bleeding hell, I wasn't expecting that, before I ask how they knew he was lying Fingers interrupted.

"We heard you giving him a right grillin, the whole flippin FOB heard ya!" He nudges me and smiles and I can't help but feel at ease with them. They know what the piss taking bastard is like and what do they mean, my type, I haven't got a bleeding type.

"Anyway Molly, how shit is Newport, I bet it's a right dump intit?" Baz pipes up changing the subject, well kind of.

I tell them how Newport is shit but there are a few nice places. The mess tent soon becomes busy and the rest of two section join in with the talking apart from Smurf who has isolated himself at the end of the table talking to no body and pushing his food around the plate. I would feel sorry for him but why should I really?

I'm lay on my bed thinking how the hell has today panned out. First of all I was so excited to be back here with the lads and the boss, and now, the boss isn't even talking to me and I haven't even done anything wrong. All the lads have fallen asleep and I get up and go for a wonder around the FOB. There is no chance of me being able to sleep so what use am I lying in bed?

There is no one around and the FOB is so peaceful especially compared to the daytime. I head towards the med tent to see James walking out when he spots me heading that way. I haven't seen or heard from him all day, what does he want? To be honest I don't even want to talk to him, if he doesn't trust me, it will never work when we return home. He walks in my direction but I act as if he is a stranger on the tube and ignore him until he grabs my arm.

"We need to talk.. my office now.." His voice is low and husky.

"Nah your alright!" I try to walk off but his grip on my upper arms stops me from going anywhere.

"Molly…. Please." I don't get chance to argue back because he is literally dragging me in the direction of his office. I hope no one is around to see what is going on here!

Once inside he directs me to sit down on the bed but I stay put near the door with my arms crossed.

"Wha do ya want? I ave nothing to say to ya." I am trying to act stubborn but now we're alone I just want to be in his arms.

"I wanted to talk about earlier. I should have trusted you.." As soon as those words had left his mouth I could help but interrupt.

"Yea, you should ave"

"..And I'm sorry." He obviously ignored my input. "I should know Smurf is full of shit, but as soon as I heard you had gone to Newport it hurt. It hurt thinking he got to spend 7 hours on a plane there and back with you and then to hear you had spent time in both London and Newport made me feel worse. I was just jealous." To be fair, that was a fair explanation.

"Is tha it? I ave been looking forward to comin back n seein ya n ya just pushed me away, ah can't deal with tha!" I go to walk out but again he grabs me and pulls me towards him.

"Get off.."