Trying to update as quickly as I can before my summer ends! We're on the quarter system at my school so we don't start until late September, :P. And to my anonymous reviewer from last chapter:

Pinn: Muahaha, I do like my cliffhangers quite a bit! As for eloping…well we'll see what happens, won't we? And I love how you call it the rag tag group—never really thought of them that way myself…though if I analyze my own writing for a second (which is totally meta) I realize that I just created Team Kakashi all over again, after Sasuke disappeared, and they're basically on the search for Sasuke! :O I thought I just created an AU out of the characters and their relationships but it seems like I might be Sharingan-ing the plot too?! What does this say about me?! (And that's why you should never analyze your own writing.)

Anyway, as always, enjoy!

Chapter Thirteen:

engagements and the like

They were immediately on the road again.

"It's just one friend after the other, isn't it?" Sai asked her dryly.

She wasn't even sure how the agent could possibly even smile at this sort of situation. A pitting feeling of dread hollowed her insides, a sick mucus of terror lining her stomach. She returned a grim face to him.

"What was the address?"

Unable to speak a word—let alone reply to him, Sakura instead flipped her phone over to the driver.

After glancing at it, Sai continued, "Well at least this friend was able to give us a specific location to find her…unlike the previous one."

Sakura inhaled sharply and turned her face to the window.

"Alright, teme, drop it. You're not helping," Naruto retorted from the back seat.

"It's okay," she said, looking back at Naruto with a reassuring glance. "She'll be fine."

Why was this all happening to her all of a sudden? Why was everything that she had ever held dear to her heart falling apart now? Naruto—sent to the battlefield and found practically dead. Sasuke—gone missing and when she finally heard news of him, it wasn't good. Sakura herself—she was thrown out of her illusion of safety completely.

Now Ino—her best friend, threatened just because she knew Sakura.

And everyone that she knew—they didn't even know of the danger that stared them right in the face.

How often had she gone through her entire life walking in the face of murder, crime, corruption without even knowing it? How many people had put themselves in front of her so that she remained ignorant of the grim reality?

Everyone that she had ever known, the community that she was born and raised in. Everyone—from the Hokage to the grocery store clerk—had always been protecting her whether she knew it or not.

I guess it's time for me to pay them back, she resolved. They shouldn't even have a clue that they're in danger. I'll protect their ignorance.

She would save her friends from harm. She would lie to their face, manipulate behind their backs, do as they don't want her to—all to protect them.

But Sasuke, who had gone so far down the road past innocence…

Would she be able to save him?

flashback

Sakura didn't even realize that she had fallen down until she realized that she was facing many more knees that she had previously ever imagined was in a school hallway.

"Watch where you're going!" Karin said, from her standing height, looking down at Sakura.

Enflamed, Sakura rolled herself back off the ground. "Then walk straight, bitch," she growled. "Or do you need a new prescription?"

She didn't even understand why Karin had such a problem with her. The red head had just moved in from another country and joined the school just earlier that year. The girl was nice, maybe a bit strange at first, but she suddenly developed a sort of jealous fixation on Sakura, taking the pinkette's things when she wasn't looking, cutting in front of her in the lunch line, and interrupting Sakura's conversations with her friends, talking loudly and obnoxiously to them and purposefully leaving her out of them.

Especially when Sasuke was around.

The girl fiddled with the rim of her glasses—unconsciously, which Sakura thought was ironically amusing.

"You should keep that forehead of yours hidden, Neander-girl. You're such a show-off."

"Proudly," Sakura smirked, and deciding to move ahead with her life rather than bickering with the hormonal chick, she walked past Karin, intentionally bumping her elbow into the other girl's side.

"Billboard brow!" the red head yelled backwards as Sakura satisfactorily walked off.

"Hey! There's only one person that can call her that, and that's me!"

Sakura, surprised to hear that familiar voice, glanced back before seeing Ino tackle Karin.

saving ino

"Here," Sai said, giving both Naruto and Sakura a gun. "You probably won't need these but keep them on you anyway in case you need to stall."

Sakura took the weapon in her hands. She was surprised to find her right hand wrapping around the handle, her pointer finger comfortably resting on the trigger guard.

She was getting used to this stuff way too quickly.

Naruto checked out the gun Sai had given to him for a while, murmuring about its sleekness. He tested it out a couple times, aiming at various locations, while Sai reapproached Sakura to give her additional instructions. Sakura noted that Sai had slipped on a black t-shirt over his bodysuit, but the fitted bottoms of the agent uniform were still tight enough to make him look like a street punk. It probably didn't help his case that the bottoms were covered—and probably carried—enough metal to set off an entire airport's alarms.

"You go ahead first; I'll follow right behind you. Keep close the wall while you go around the corner."

Sakura gulped down her jumping heart. Calming herself, she quickly reminded herself that she had been in much scarier situations than this. The pinkette looked back at the more stealth-experienced men. They gave her each a nod and she lay her back flat against the brick wall before creeping towards the corner. All the while, she felt like she was being too loud, shoes shuffling in the grass, and she often stopped herself in fright, but Sai urged her forward.

"You'd be surprised at how little people can actually hear," the punk-ly dressed agent said, practically on a normal volume.

Sakura almost raised her voice to question what the hell Sai was doing talking so loudly, but she figured that he probably had much more seniority than she did in this particular case.

Actually, now that she thought about it…how old was Sai? He didn't seem that much older—

Focus, Sakura. Jesus Christ, why are you even letting your mind wander?

By now, she had reached the edge of the wall. Ino was around the corner. Saving Ino was around the corner…

Sakura sucked it up and peeked around the corner, eyes widening as she took in the sight.

What the fuck?!

Was she actually witnessing this—this?!—in front of her eyes?

Ino. Inside a moving truck, her eyes trained on the phone on her lap. Boxes on the ground next to the truck and a dolly off to the side.

Sitting ever so peacefully.

She immediately retreated and bumped into the ANBU agent's chest.

"What, scared?" he cooed to her in a low growl.

She was thrown off for a second by his rather seductive tone. "No, I just—we can't—"

"Don't worry, I got you," Sai assured, giving her a soft smile and placing a hand on her shoulder.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked, his voice rather loud.

"Shut up!" Sakura hissed to the two of them. "I just—Just stay here!"

Taking a quick breath, she stormed out to confront her blonde friend. She couldn't believe it! Was this actually happening?

"Ino!" she yelled.

She got the other girl's attention, but she suddenly felt a strong grip take her right hand, twisting it behind her. Sakura whipped around and, upon seeing Sai, cursed to herself and snapped at him. "What are you doing?"

He simply kept a strong hold on the small of her back, her right hand underneath. And when she felt a cold metallic barrel get tucked behind her jeans, she suddenly remembered.

Ah, she realized. I have a gun in my right hand.

"Oh hi, Sakura!" Ino yelled back, hopping down from the moving truck and running over. "And Sai," she also acknowledged, with a slight waggle of her eyebrow at Sakura, seeing the seemingly intimate pose that they were in.

"Nothing…nothing wrong happened to you?" Sakura asked, frustrated with the entire situation. "I thought something happened to you! You texted 'help!' to me!"

Ino chided her, clicking her tongue. "No! Of course not! Don't you remember? I told you that I was moving today and that I might be texting you for some help? You were like—and I quote—'yeah, sure, fine. Do whatever.' And I actually didn't need help, except that I need some extra hand unloading this refrigerator into the truck and I didn't want to pay an extra hour for the moving team. Shikamaru was too lazy to help me—"

"God, don't fucking scare me like that!"

"What? I was just asking for help!"

Ino had a point, but Sakura was coming from a completely different angle. "I just…ugh, at least tell me it was a box or something. I mean, you just texted me 'help' and I just got…really worried."

"Well okay, sorry," Ino apologized quickly. "Let's get this moving done though, okay? Also, I see you brought Sai along—which is good since I'm sure a strong man like you would be able to move with ease." The blonde gave the agent a quick look-over before meeting her blue gaze with Sakura.

Sai smiled softly, eyes looking off to the side and giving Sakura a side glance. "Mochiron. What kind of a man would I be if I wasn't able to help a friend of my future wife?"

Ino's face turned into a large O.

So did Sakura's.

Did he just announce that in person?!

The ANBU spun around quickly, holding both Sakura's forearms. "Baby, why don't you go take a break in the car? I'll be two seconds," he said with a half-smile, pressing his car keys into her right hand.

Sakura could hear Naruto scowl, even though she was a good ten feet away from the corner he was hiding behind.

"What the hell does that guy think he's doing?" she imagined Naruto saying, with a roll of his eyes.

Sakura couldn't help but blink several times. God, what was with all this romantic energy? Was it actually there? Or was she just feeling it because he was playing the whole elopement game?

Am I enjoying being in a fake relationship with Sai?

His intense gaze brought her back to the present. She quickly covered herself, smiling back at him. "Sure, of course."

She snuck a gaze beyond Sai's shoulder to check out her blonde friend's reaction and couldn't help but hold back a snigger when she saw that Ino's jaw had dropped. Sai went over to help the poor blonde with her refrigerator and Sakura walked backwards toward the car, making sure that the weapon she had concealed behind her pants stayed hidden.

"Are you enjoying yourself, dear?" Naruto taunted, when she got past the corner.

"Don't you dare call me that," she hissed back, unlocking the car and motioning for the former soldier to hustle himself in. "You are not my fiancé."

just as sai said, two seconds later

"Great rescue," Naruto snarkily said when the agent got back into the driver's seat. "Man, she would have been dead by now if you hadn't stopped those kidnappers."

"Oh, shut up." Sakura angrily tossed her seat belt over her waist to click it down. "What if I hadn't taken you seriously?"

"Well at least I wouldn't be dead."

"And put your head down!" Sakura reached behind her and pushed Naruto's head below the window height, glancing back at the still-shocked-by-the-news Ino. "It was a good thing she didn't see you!"

"Oh right," Naruto sarcastically agreed. "She would have totally been so much more surprised to see that I was alive than to hear that you guys are engaged."

"Well it could have been worse. If Sai hadn't stopped me from revealing that gun I had, I would have had to do a lot more explaining than that."

"Ah, of course. The brave, strong, noble ANBU agent sacrifices himself for the betterment of his supposedly future wife."

"Braver than you ever will be," she muttered under her breath.

"Yeah," Sai suddenly chimed in as he rounded a street corner. "Do you even have a dick, Naruto?"

In the rearview mirror, Sakura saw Naruto's appalled face.

Did he just—

But Naruto was quick to change the subject.

"Oh shit! Ichiraku!" His face pressed up against the inside of the car window, much to the chagrin of Sai, who immediately warned that he had just cleaned the car to a sparkle, and of Sakura, who didn't want to see any more familiar faces.

And especially of Ayame's, since she had already heard about the eloping.

"Ayame's there," she argued briefly. "And you can't eat there in person either—you're supposed to be dead, remember?"

"I don't care," Naruto said. "At least get me some take-out or something. If I'm dead, then at least let me enjoy the last sips of my homeland. I deserve that much, come on!"

"Absolutely not."

"They're closed anyway," Sai intervened.

This caught Sakura's attention. "Wait, can you drive by real quick?"

"Of course, honey."

"Okay, Sai, we get the public image you're trying to show off," Naruto snapped. "But it's just the fucking three of us right now!"

"Urusai!" Sakura growled, opening the car door and running over to the Ichiraku ramen restaurant door. She peeked in, trying to see as much as she could. Everything was shady on the inside, however, but the one thing that Sakura was able to pick out was the rag on the top of the Ichiraku counter.

Ayame would never close shop early. And even if she did, she would have never left that filthy rag on the counter over the night.

By instinct, Sakura picked up her cell phone and called her.

"Hello, Sakura Haruno."

Her blood stilled, cold.

The low malevolent voice continued. "We just wanted to get back at you, particularly for the death of Sasori. I don't know if you remember killing a scarlet-headed comrade of ours, but we figured we might as well remind you. You're lucky he doesn't have family, but we've actually grown quite attached to him."

This was not happening. Please let this not be happening.

"I'm sure you'll understand. After all, we have your dear precious friend with us."

"What do you want with her?" Sakura snarled, hiding the shaky fear in her voice. "What did she ever do? Why don't you just take me?"

"Oh? Trying to be tough?"

By now, Sai had picked up what was going on, and after hearing Sakura's response, he urged her to give her the phone. Naruto was behind him, brows furrowed.

"Nothing that you can give us… Why don't you hand it over to your MVP? Out of you two, he's more likely to be able to save your friend anyway."

Sakura put the call on speaker, unable to deal with the tension anymore. She was about to burst into tears and she didn't know what the fuck to do. In fact—when did she ever know what the fuck to do? All the times that she wanted to be useful and doing something—she couldn't!

"Hello, agent Sai." When Sai replied nothing, the voice continued. "I hadn't realized that the ANBU was looking for Sasuke Uchiha as well. Why don't we call enemy of my enemy and make a deal?"

"What do you mean?" Sai asked stiffly. "Sakura Haruno and her friends have nothing to give to you. If you want to talk with me, we can discuss this on our own terms."

"Oh, but I am talking to you, aren't I? You see, by targeting Haruno's friends, we get to Haruno. And by getting to Haruno, we get to you, our lovely ANBU agent."

Sai's face turned dark. "What do you want."

"Information," came the instant reply. "Particularly about Orochimaru. Our former comrade. We thought we had killed him off but it looks like he found a loyal subordinate to get him back on track. We know the ANBU has been investigating Orochimaru and that you guys have recently figured out some promising leads on the man and where he keeps his supplies.

"Sasuke Uchiha had been our lead to Orochimaru but it seems like the clever bastard doesn't leave behind many tracks. We thought I'd be easier to turn to more…willing resources."

Both ends of the line went silent for a good long minute.

"Wanna hear her voice?"

An unearthly high-pitched scream.

Sakura flinched, closing her eyes and turning away from the phone. The two slashes on her arm suddenly grew warm as she recalled that she was in that same situation less than a week ago. She prayed for Ayame to hang tight and immediately stepped back from their circle of three. Naruto noticed Sakura's sudden withdraw and put his arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly.

Sai's teeth gritted. "What information do you want specifically?"

"Well…we'll take what we can get, right?"

Well damn. To be continued next time! I'd love to hear from you guys about your reaction as this chapter unfolded in front of your eyes! (This time reviews goes towards getting funds for Sakura and Sai's future fake wedding! Some lucky reviewers will also be invited to be the bridesmaids/groomsmen!)

thir13enth

P.S. – Yes, Sai is still obsessed with penises (penii? penes? English confuses me sometimes), haha.

P.P.S – It must be so odd ending with such a serious mood in the story to reading the joke-of-an-author's notes. I promise I'm not bipolar.