Thanks for the reviews, I hope you like this chapter. I'll try to update tomorrow, but it's going to be a busy day so I don't promise anything.
Most of the characters belong to E. L. James
May 31st, 2021
Ana's POV
I should be happy, next month I'll finish my studies, but 11 months ago I forgot what was smiling or feeling any emotion.
I learnt to give a fake smile to people. After the birthday that never happened all our friends and family suspected something was wrong.
I haven't seen the Greys, just Kate traveled here in an occasion to see me and we didn't talk about him, Kate wanted to give me the news that she's getting marry next year with Elliot. She asked me to be one of her maids along with Mia, when she did instinctively I touch my neck with my hand, where I still carry the engagement ring in the necklace with his name, it's the only memento that I've allowed myself to keep, I just couldn't be separate from the ring. Feeling the cold metal against my skin reminds me that it wasn't a dream, that he existed.
My father came to see me as a surprise for the holidays in December, he has been the only one I have cried with, when I saw him at the door of the apartment he cover me in his arms and I cried until I didn't have any more tears left, he was my company, for a couple of days we didn't talk at all, but my father, that always goes to the point, needed to know something.
"Did he hurt you, Ana?" I'm thankful he is not saying his name.
"Not physically dad."
"We read his interviews, what he said, we didn't know, I'm sorry you were alone, I swear if I see him on the street I'll kill him."
"Dad, don't do anything. It's not his fault." It's not his fault?, I keep defending him after all this time.
"For you Ana I won't go after him", that was everything we talk about him.
Sometimes I feel like a widow, one day I couldn't bare it anymore and all his clothes left here ended up in the trash, the pictures that decorated our home are saved somewhere.
June 14th, 2021
Christian's POV
*I'm going with Kate and Ray to Boston, it's Ana's graduation ceremony, I thought you would like to know.* -E
I don't answer anything, I'm informed, Sawyer told me, what can I do?, threats ended after the interviews, the last letter came almost a year ago, the day that everything ended, it said: well played, but soon I'll find your next weakness and this time you won't be able to do anything. I haven't received more letters in almost a year.
November 5th, 2021
Ana's POV
I'm in New York with Ethan and Jose, generally I feel like the third wheel, but my friends have tried to distract me and I appreciate that. Kate, Elliot and Mia are traveling here. Jose is having his first photographic exhibition. When that is over my friend and I will go for a couple of months to Europe, Ethan is still studying so he won't go with us.
Am I running away? Yes I am.
Christian's POV
*Mia, Kate and I are going to New York, Jose is exhibiting his photographs. Come with us.* -E
February 7th, 2022
Ana's POV
I'm here again, in my apartment alone, my friend and I went over a lot of places in Europe, I wasn't a great company, but Jose could enjoy taking pictures. Sadly we had to come back, I don't know if I'm coming back to Seattle, I haven't searched for a job here and it's time, what was left of my trust found I spent it in my journey.
June 18th, 2022
Ana's POV
I must be a masochistic, only I can think of coming back a day as yesterday, the most painful of my life, and today… today's his birthday. We're so close… does he still think about me?
I was working in Boston, but I received a couple of job offers in Seattle, that plus Kate and Elliot marriage next month and the begs of my father made me come back.
I sold his car and ended the rental agreement in Boston, I found a small place in Seattle, near one of the publishing offices where I have an interview.
Christian's POV
*Ana is in Seattle permanently, I thought you would want to know. By the way, Happy Birthday.* -E
The only new information of my brother's text is that reminded me of the fucking day that is today and the fucking day that was yesterday.
July 5th, 2022
Christian's POV
"Sir, your brother is here, he wants to see you", says Andrea on the intercom.
"Tell him I'm busy, Andrea."
Without waiting for an answer Elliot opens the door of my office, I haven't seen him in more than two years, he looks upset.
I stand up from my desk, he comes to me with the intention of hugging me, I give a step behind, don't touch me, I think. He sees the terror in my face, he doesn't say anything and greets me with a nod.
"Take a seat", I point to the sofa in my office for casual situations, I've never used it.
"How are you?" he ask displeased, I know he is hurt, he thought my haphephobia season was over, well, surprise!, so did I.
"I'm fine" I said as a habit.
"Yeah, I can tell" he says with sarcasm, "since when you don't sleep?"
It's not the first time someone asks me that, the bags under my eyes betray me, I only sleep a couple of hours everyday, that's what it takes the nightmares to come, I think we both are remembering the Christian that went to his bedroom to sleep on the floor looking for some company when the nightmares didn't leave me alone. Though this nightmares are different, in these ones the love of my life is gone.
"You know I'm getting marry at the end of the month?"
I nod, I received the invitation a month ago, instinctively I touch my chest, where I always carry the Cartier box.
"You haven't confirmed your attendance" he says.
"I don't know if I can go."
"Fuck you Christian, it's my damn marriage!" he says annoyed, is weird not seeing him smiling.
"I'll try."
He stands up from his seat, I've avoided my family because I don't want them to see the beast I am without Ana and because I don't want them to be targets of new threats.
"The family says hi", he says and leaves by the door.
July 30th, 2022
Ana's POV
The ceremony and party will be at the Grey's house, as if this is not painful enough, I'm a Grey and nobody knows, nobody will never know.
I'm thankful no one is asking, they greet me tenderly, I see the concern in their faces but there's not comment about it, the empty space he left in me wasn't the only one, his family haven't seen him, they are all expectant by his presence if he shows up. He didn't confirm he would come, that calms me.
The ceremony starts, I'm standing behind Mia, we're both maids of honor. Ethan and Jose are Elliot's best men. My eyes are only in the couple. Then I feel shivers in my skin, it's like I'm being observed, I turn my head and at the back, standing in a corner is he with his eyes fixed on me. No!