Haaa…Hi there. Yeah, I know it's been awhile. Um, I'm sorry…? When summer comes around you're too lazy to do anything, right?

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA yadda yadda yadda…

"Off to find Randy!" Ed did this 'pose' thing.

"…Why are you posing?" Winry just looked at him.

"Um…because?"

"…Okay, then."

Everyone stood in silence before Scar said," So…uh…now what?"

"…We find Randy?" Ed suggested. "And Al…?

"Wait…weren't you kidnapped too?" Hawkeye pointed out.

"Uhhh…yeah, I guess I was."

"…Then why are you in this chapter?"

"The authoress forgot when she started typing."

"Hey," Lust looked around, "Where IS Jewel, anyway?"

"Um…I dunno." Mustang put on a thoughtful face. "But she WAS in a bike accident yesterday and now her hamstring is swollen on her left leg."

"Mmmm…ham," Gluttony drooled.

"I honestly don't know what to say about that," Breda blinked.

MEANWHILE!

I was jumping around dodging floods, random flaming objects, and sharp pointy things as I ran down some hallway.

"…What am I doing here?"

Uh, Right…

"So…Who's left to sing?" Lust asked boredly.

"Um, let's see…" Breda started counting on his fingers.

"Winry, Al, and Falman," Scar answered for him.

"You SLUT!" Breda's eyes became slits as he slapped Scar. "That was MY LINE!"

So Scar and Breda got into some bitch fight, while everyone else just kinda stood around. "…Well, shouldn't someone sing?" Ed looked around at everyone.

"There's like, NO judges." Hawkeye pointed out. "That are conscious anyway."

"…So?"

"I'm HEEEEEEEEEERE!" Emily squealed.

"…Do you seriously still act like that? I mean, this fic's been going for about…well, a little over a year."

"No, not really. But I'm supposed to act weird to create some sort of illusion that I'm still drunk though."

"Oooooh," everyone nodded. They understood. After all, who hadn't been forced into some crazy, random fanfic at some point?

"So…uh…FALMAN! You're up!" Mustang shoved him up on stage.

"WHA?" But it was too late. The lights had already brightened and stuff.

"Er…

And I wonder if you think about me anymore

And I wonder if ever think about me when you're bored

And I wonder if you ever think about me when you're hanging' in NEW YORK!

And I wonder if he still writes these songs for you

And I wonder if the reasons why ya left were untrue

And I wonder if you give him more excuses than the ones I got from…YOUUUUUU!"

The crowd would have gone wild, if they hadn't missed Al so much. And since I was not there to ask how he did, Em was just like, "I MISS AL!"

"NO! NOW SHESKA WILL NEVER NOTICE ME!" So Falman ran around crying like a baby until hit a wall and was knocked out cold.

"…I wonder where Jewel is?" Gluttony sighed.

I'M OVER HERE!

I finally rounded a corner breathing heavily. Seriously, why was I here?

"JEWEL! HEEEELLLLLLP! THE FANGIRLS ARE MOLESTING MEEEEEE!"

Oh, yeah.

COUGH

"What do fangirls do to you when they kidnap you?" Lust asked.

"That is confidential," Mustang answered.

"…They rape you don't they?" (Hawkeye)

Scar crumpled into a little ball on the stage and began to weep. "They defiled MEEEEEEE!"

All the guys gathered around and patted poor Scar on the back, while the girls just stood back and watched. Envy was considered neither category, so he/she/it just kinda danced around on the center of the stage.

"…I'm surprised out fanboys never tried that," Lust speculated.

"They tried it with me," Hawkeye stated.

"How'd you get 'em to back off?"

"I just pull out my reverse-blade sword."

"Where'd you get that anyway?"

Suddenly, everything went all colorful, and everyone started dancing and singing. Then Winry popped up.

"This coffee mug is great!

I bought it at an amazing rate!

This new TV

Makes me feel so free!

You can always have your way!

WHEN YOU DO EBAAAAAAAY!"

Then everyone stopped, and was like, "Winry, you're such a shallow person to want all those material items! It's so wrong to want things, because that makes you evil especially when other people don't have them."

"Whatever."

Hawkeye blinked. "Actually, I got it at Amazon."

Winry's eyes got shifty. "Oh, really?" she speculated as she wrote something down.

"Er, yeah?"

"What about you Winry? Your fanboys ever try to rape you?" Lust asked trying to change the subject.

"Oh, yeah. All the time."

"How do you avoid it?"

"…You're supposed to avoid it?"

Hawkeye and Lust: O.O;

"Um, yeah." (Hawkeye)

"…Oh. So that's why I have herpes."

o.O "Ew," they both said in unison.

But over on the other side of the stage…

"And then she totally censored," Ed said grimacing.

The other guys grimaced as well.

"Yeah, I felt really bad for that one guy she castrated, though."

All the guys' eyes grew about ten times larger. Then Mustang decided to head to the bathroom again. But the pool of drool by Paula was blocking the way to the bathrooms, and there was a very large line of people holding it in. Then he decided it would be a smart idea to try to evaporate all the drool with his alchemy (bad idea). He pulled out his glove and set the drool aflame (but not without killing a few random souls ). But then it like, exploded for some weird reason.

"What the crap!" Mustang jumped out of the way as it killed several members of the audience.

Oh, wait…Paula was supposed to be there wasn't she? Oops.

Yeah, everyone failed to notice Paula there, because no one cared. Except there was suddenly, like, TWO Paula's!

Everyone stopped and was like O.o;

Then I appeared magically onstage with a severely torn suit of armor. "…What's going on?"

Yeah…I can't think of much more to write at the moment. Sorry if it's a bit short, but I'm feeling upset over nothing right now. You understand, of course. The next chapter will have Al's song, and then the final chapter will be after that. Until then, R&R!