They say that after a year, you begin to feel better.

But I would say, that after a year, you just get used to the pain, used to the broken heart you're carrying around. It won't hurt any less, but somehow you'll stop noticing it all the time.

Time does not heal, but as it passes, you'll start seeing there are still things worth living for.

Of course, the 'thing' that forced me to keep on living, was my son.

It is funny, but until the first time I held him in my arms, I had only thought of him as Loki's son, not really mine. But after seeing the baby for the first time… I was lost in love, deeper than any I had ever felt before - love deeper even, than the one I felt for Loki.

For the baby, he was all mine, and I was his. I had made him in my body, he had been formed under my heart - but he had also made me, transformed me, by coming into my world.

As I held his tiny body on my arms, and the newborn grabbed tightly on my finger, I suddenly saw the universe in his eyes, all the possible futures he might face, all the fears and the loves, the threats and the victories. A fierce fire was born inside of my heart that moment, and in a heartbeat it flashed through my veins, and I swore that I'd never abandon him, not as long as I lived.

He was a content baby. He hardly cried, he slept all night and only wake me up to feed. And I loved him more than the sun shines, more than there is sand in a desert, more than there are worlds in the universe.

I must admit, that after my son was born, my heart felt lighter, and heavier at the same time. Lighter, for he brought so much joy and love to my world. But heavier, for every time I saw him, I remembered his father, and a dagger of lost love pierced my heart.

Being happy for having my son, did not make my pain for losing Loki any smaller. I simply didn't have that much time to dwell on it anymore.

It was a year after Loki's death.

I was sitting on the garden, on my favorite place, near to a small pond that was hidden among trees, on a quiet and distant corner of the garden. The baby was only a few months old, and he was napping on a cradle near me, under a weeping willow, among the branches that swing slowly on the warm breeze..

I was buried deep in my thoughts, my gaze wandering on the sunrays that fell through the green leaves, and made living, dancing patterns on the dark waters of the pond, as I heard a pair of footsteps nearing.

I looked up, and saw a familiar, tall figure approaching - his blond hair falling to his shoulders, a wide smile playing on his handsome face.

"Alva, you are hard to find. I hope I am not distracting your peace."

"Thor!" I was genuinely pleased, and got up to my feet.

A lot had passed since he had first approached me in the prison, and now I considered him a friend - almost a brother. No matter the past, since he had found out about my baby, he had been good to me.

But he wasn't alone. There was a slender, very beautiful woman with him, and something about her looks made me curious.

As soon as Thor spoke, I knew what it was.

"Alva, this is Doctor Jane Foster - of Midgård." Thor introduced her. So, she was a human. "Jane, this is Lady Alva, my brothers… um-"

"At loss of words?" I raised an eyebrow. A set of words flashed through my mind: a slave, a whore, a prostitute, a toy, but I tried to shrug them off the best I could. "What was I exactly to your brother? If I do not know, then probably you won't find an appropriate word either. So let us just say that I was Loki's companion. That is as good of a word as any, it is not?"

Jane Foster seemed confused, looking a few times from me to Thor, before she spoke, but then decided to offer me her hand, and I took it.

"It is nice to meet you, Lady Alva."

"Please, just Alva. I am no Lady, no matter how many times Thor tries to tell me that. But you are… you are a human, are you not?"

She smiled, and I noticed how her whole face was suddenly transformed, as if light had fallen on her. "Yes I am, I am from Earth. But… so are you, are you not?"

Thor smiled. "You do have observant eyes, my Jane."

I answered their smiles.

"I must agree. For you are right, Jane Foster. I am a human - or at least a half human." I replied, and suddenly I felt an old grief somber my heart. "But I have not been on Earth for a very long time."

"Oh." Jane said, and she must've noticed my moods, as she suddenly seemed embarrassed. "I didn't mean-"

"It is fine." I said. "Or rather, it is what it is. My life includes some sad stories, but they are for another time. It is my pleasure to meet you, Lady Jane. I hardly have any visitors, and you are the first one from Earth. Please, would you not tell me about it? I have longed for a long time to see it."

"Alva, just call me Jane." her kind, brown eyes had compassion in them, and I could not help but to like her. "It would be my pleasure to tell you all you wish to know. And if you wish, perhaps Thor could take us there, right Thor?" she turned to face her companion, who suddenly seemed awkward.

"I am not sure if-" he began, but I interrupted him.

"So, what happened to 'You are no longer a prisoner'?" I asked, giving him a look. "I take it, that you still have not asked if Odin could pardon me."

"You mistake me, Alva." Thor replied. "I have asked him, several times, but he has declined. I am sorry. I do wish I could take you to Midgård. I know it is your heart's desire, but the Allfather has made his decision. You can have your freedom, but only inside the palace walls."

I looked down, to suppress my tears.

So, I would never leave this place. So be it then.

My voice felt harsh on my throat as I finally spoke. "That is not much of a freedom, is it?"

"No, it is not. But I hope it is better than no freedom at all."

I shook my head. "Yes, you are right. It is not your fault. You saved me from the dungeons, and for that I am ever grateful. I might never see Earth, but at least I have this place, and it is more than I would deserve."

Thor placed his hand on my shoulder, a familiar gesture, and I squeezed on his fingers.

"From the dungeons?" Asked Jane, clearly very curious, but then she blushed and shook her head. "No, forget it, it's none of my business-"

"It's not a secret." I shrugged. "Why don't you tell her how I got there, and how I met your brother." I said to Thor, leaving him more awkward than ever. "I'll go and get my son so that you can finally meet."

And leaving Thor clearly very uncomfortable, I walked to the cradle, just to see that my son was already awake.

"Come on beautiful." I whispered, as I picked him up from the cradle.

His big, blue eyes - just like his father's - were fixated on my face, and he instantly smiled as he felt my arms around him.

Heavens, I loved him so much, it was almost unbearable. I squeezed him tight against my chest, and walked back to the couple waiting for me.

Thor's eyes were all serious now, as he looked at me approaching. This was the first time he saw my son - Loki's son. And I could see, from his suddenly stiff posture, that he felt nervous.

I neared him, and turned my son so, that Thor could see his face.

"Say hello to your nephew, Thor." I said.

Thor was silent for a small while, just looking at the child, and for a moment it seemed as if he forgot all about me and Jane. But then he cleared his throat, and leaned closer.

"Hello, Aarik, son of Loki." he said, and I could hear his voice was low and thick with emotion. He then raised his eyes back to mine, and asked: "May I?"

I nodded, and handed the child to him. With surprisingly gentle hands Thor picked him up, and held him against his strong, muscular chest.

I looked from Thor to Jane, and saw that there were a million things buzzing in her mind, and that she was doing her best to suppress her questions for now.

"He looks just like my brother." Thor said, and looked at me. "The eyes, the hair… everything."

I smiled, though I felt tears in my eyes. "Yes he does. He will be a handsome prince when he grows up."

"I thought I had lost Loki forever, but now… now I see him in his son. It is a miracle, and one that brings some very much needed joy into my heart."

"It hardly is a miracle that a son resembles his father, Thor." I stated, and felt a small smile on my lips. "But I agree, that his birth is a miracle, and a joyous one."

"Can I hold him too?" said Jane suddenly, surprising me.

"Of course." I said, and gave Thor a nod.

Jane picked the infant from Thor's arms, and a beautiful smile lightened her face.

"He is gorgeous." she said, with a radiant smile, and of course I agreed.

It was true, that Aarik was very beautiful - but I'm under the impression, that all mothers feel that way about their children. Nonetheless, I felt proud to hear it from someone else's lips.

"I only knew Loki briefly." Jane continued, after a while, and now her smile was fading. "There must've been a lot about him that I knew nothing about."

Thor cleared his throat. "You had the misfortune to see the worst of him. That was not all there was, Jane."

Jane nodded, still looking at Aarik, still cradling him in her arms. Aarik stared at her face with his stern, blue eyes, as if he wasn't afraid of a thing in this world.

"I might have seen the worst of him in New York, but I also saw a glimpse of something else in the Dark World. He protected me - and he saved your life, Thor." Jane said with a silent voice. "For that I am thankful. And I am sorry."

"For what?" asked Thor.

"That I hadn't realized how much you missed him."

Jane looked at Thor, over Aarik, and suddenly I felt that me and my son were on a party we weren't invited to. It was clear, that these two had some issues they should talk about in private, and it made me feel very lonely.

I reached to pick my son back, and Jane gave her to me.

"It was good of you to come and meet my son." I said, and took a step back. "But he has just woken up from his nap, and I know he needs to feed now."

"Of course." Thor said, and he gave a small nod. "But I hope to see you two soon again. As I've said before, you are my family now - and so is Aarik. I wish to teach him all he needs to know to be a warrior and a prince of Asgård."

I smiled. "Thank you Thor, but at the moment all he needs is his mother's milk. But please, come back whenever you can. And I do wish you could teach Aarik all there is to know about his father as well."

"It will be an honor to do so." Thor gave me a small bow, and turned to Jane to leave, but Jane stepped closer to me, reached her hand to my arm, and spoke.

"Alva, it was really nice to meet you. I hope we could… I don't know, like sit down and talk some day, to have a coffee- or do you even have coffee here in Asgård?"

I shook my head, but laughed. "I have never even heard of coffee, but I would like to talk with you, Doctor Jane Foster."

"Good." She gave me her radiant smile. "Let's talk, and have a drink of whatever it is you drink in here. I will tell you all you wish to know about Earth, and I hope you will tell me about your life too."

"My life isn't really that interesting." I shrugged. "But as you wish, Jane Foster. I hope to see you soon again."

"As do I." she smiled, and I couldn't help but to answer that smile.