"Feast your eyes, host," said Simon Fuller to Ryan. "All of them, faithful hands before the steering wheel. Every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot."
"So this is your able-bodied crew?" Simon asked spectically, glancing at the men standing before him, all different sizes and shapes. They were standing in front of the bus, getting ready to leave.
"You, guy!" Ryan called out to one geeky looking man.
"Aiken, sir," Fuller told him.
"Mr. Fuller. Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" Ryan asked. Clay did not answer. "Mr. Aiken? Answer, man!"
"He's a mute sir," said Fuller. "Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the border collie to talk to him. No one's yet figured how…"
"Mr. Aiken's...border collie," Ryan said. "Same question."
"Wind in the tires!" the border collie barked. "Wind in the tires!"
"Mostly, we figure that means yes," Fuller explained.
"Of course it does," agreed Ryan. He looked at Simon. "Satisfied?"
"Well you've proved them mad."
"And what's the benefit for us?" a female voice coming from the far side of the group said.
"Kristin Holt?" he asked. She slapped him.
"I suppose you don't deserve that one either," said Simon, rolling his eyes.
"No, that one I deserved."
"You stole my position as host!" Kristin yelled.
"Actually…" He was interrupted by her slapping him again. "Borrowed. Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of giving it back to you."
"But you didn't!" argued Kristin.
"You'll get another job!"
"I will."
"A better one," Simon interjected.
"A better one!" Ryan agreed.
"That one," said Simon, pointing to a homeless man playing a banjo on the sidewalk.
"What one?" Ryan asked. He saw the homeless man. "Aye! That one! What say you?"
"Yeah!" the crew shouted. They began boarding the bus.
Fuller came up to Ryan. "No, no, no. It's frightful bad luck to have a woman aboard."
"It would be far worse not to have her," Ryan said.
They boarded the bus and began driving. After about ten minutes, they ran into traffic on the 210.
"How can we drive to a street that nobody can find with a host that completely sucks?" Simon asked Fuller. They were sitting next to each other on the bus.
"Aye, the host sucks, but we don't need a good host, do we?" Fuller got up and stood next to Ryan.
"We should pull over, sir," Fuller suggested.
"We can drive a bit longer," insisted Ryan.
"What's in your head that put you in such a fine mood, host?" asked Fuller.
Ryan grinned. "We're catching up."