A/N: I am not too pleased with this chapter, but it is an exiting one!

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Regina ran across the darkened yard and towards the stable as she fought back the tears in her eyes. The pebbles nipped and cut at her bare feet, and she curled her arms around herself. It felt like her chest was bending in on itself, her heart shattered, yet hurting irrevocably so. She had never felt pain like this.

Emma was pregnant with Daniel's child. They were going to be a little family. They were probably going to get married soon, they'd run away together to create a home, and Regina would be left behind – without either of them.

The pain was excruciating; not even Mother's games and punishments could compare to the shattered feeling inside of her chest. Those punishments, Mother's magic, it was nothing, it was purely physical, and that Regina had learned to handle when she was very young. This however? This was emotion, and Regina had never experienced that kind of utter torture before, had always just been disappointed by others, been hurt by her mother's demands and actions, but it was nothing compared to this, absolutely nothing.

Choking back a sob, Regina brushed past the shed where there was a sleeping night guard. She entered the stable quietly, needing to be close to Rocinante, who had always provided her with a certain calmness. When no one else had managed to calm her down, Rocinante had always been there for her; his warm muzzle, his soulful eyes. She could always count on him.

Rocinante was munching happily away on some hay when she closed the door behind her. Her feet were freezing from the cold ground, and she opened the hatch to his stall, creeping into the warmth with him, hay curling between her toes as she wrapped har arms around the horse's neck and hugged him tight. She breathed in his scent; comforting, familiar, him, and closed her eyes.

"Oh, Rocinante," she murmured, and she felt him relax against her, letting her hug him with all she was worth. "Emma is never going to be interested in me, Rocinante," she continued to tell him whilst battling the tears in her eyes. A few escaped, but mostly her voice just quivered. "She is with Daniel now. I know we like him a lot, but I so wish she wasn't."

With a soft whinny, Rocinante replied to her. He had always been the best listener, without a doubt, and she'd taken advantage of that multiple times throughout her childhood. Whenever Mother had been horrible, she had crept into the stables to the horses. They had always provided her with a certain calmness that she had never been able to archive elsewhere. Once she had finally been big enough to ride herself, she had sought solace in the woods whenever possible. Mother had never been thrilled about it, but boy, had Regina loved it.

Her fingers itched to grab a satchel from the wall, along with reins to steer him, and just take off riding into the night. She knew it would make her feel better, being that close to Rocinante always did. And she needed to get away, she needed badly to just put the room she shared with Emma behind her and just live for a while. Live, before she had to return to the room and face Emma and all those horrible feelings stirring inside of her.

"Let's do it, Rocinante," Regina whispered and pressed a kiss to his neck. She did not care about the risks she knew were there, all she wanted to do was ride. She turned to exit the stall again, fully intend on getting out of there quickly, but as she did so, the door to the stable opened, and Emma slipped inside.

Regina froze, watching as Emma closed the door behind her. As the blonde turned around to look at her, Regina took in her stance and wondered – how have I not noticed this before? Emma was pregnant, she was so visibly pregnant in her undershirt. Her belly jutted out from her body, her breasts almost spilling out of the tight cotton, and she stood there, more beautiful than ever, perhaps, looking just so, so pregnant.

Her green eyes scanned over Regina's stance, settling on the open hatch. "What are you doing?"

Brushing past her and towards the back wall, Regina didn't care whose saddle she borrowed; all she knew was that she had to get out of there. "I am going for a ride," she said. She stopped in front of the back wall, perusing the saddles.

Emma gasped. "What?" she hissed, and Regina could hear her follow directly behind her, boots tapping against the ground. "No you're not," she firmly added.

Regina rolled her eyes to herself and made a grab for the nearest saddle. It was not going to be the best trip as it was not Rocinante's own, but it would have to do. "Yes."

"Are you insane?" Emma snapped, and she swatted Regina's arm away gently. "You can't go out there. There can be rapists and shit!"

Turning her head to look at her, Regina schooled her features as if not to appear too sad – but more determined. It flared within her; the hurt had somehow turned into something else, and she hated that Emma was with Daniel, hated that she was not interested in her when Regina was right there, wanting her with all of her heart. "I don't care. I need to ride," she firmly said, before she ducked under Emma's arm to get to the saddle.

"Regina, stop," Emma murmured, and she sounded more desperate than Regina had ever heard her before.

"No."

"Please just listen to me for a second," Emma begged, and she locked her hands around Regina's wrist. Her fingers clasped tight, warm and strong, and Regina paused with her eyes trained on that damn saddle. "Please," Emma added, and Regina bent her head and turned back around.

Brown eyes met green, and Regina was taken aback by the pure love and desperation she saw edged in there. "What," she murmured. She felt her shoulders relax, her anger deflate as she looked into Emma's eyes. She could never be mad at her, not for being pregnant, not for loving Daniel. It wasn't Emma's fault, it was just the way it was.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was pregnant," Emma breathed, and she swayed slightly on her feet, resting a hand on top of her round belly. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you, I just – I wasn't sure how to tell you."

Licking her lips, Regina felt herself soften. "Why didn't you just say it? It's not that hard," she added.

Emma's jaw twitched, her brow furrowing slightly as she pondered that for a second or two. "I guess I was scared," she murmured, her gaze flickering slightly.

Involuntarily, Regina stepped closer to her, reaching a hand out to stroke hers gently. "You should never be scared of me," she replied. Never, not ever, did she want Emma to be scared to tell her things. This was something she would have understood – sure, it would hurt no matter how and when Emma told her, but she would have rather it didn't be like this. Emma was quite far along as far as Regina could tell, which meant that she'd been pregnant while Regina had struggled with her feelings, trying to figure out what her feelings meant and how to deal with them. If Emma had been honest about her and Daniel months ago, perhaps Regina could have handled this differently. Perhaps she could have avoided the heartbreak currently whipping up a storm inside of her.

There was an almost inaudible hitch of breath. "I didn't want you to reject me," she revealed.

"Oh." Regina wasn't sure what else to say. Her heart was, for some reason, speeding up inside her chest, almost beating rapidly with hope, because what was Emma talking about?

Emma swallowed loudly. "I could not go on without you, Regina, I wouldn't know how to. You're… you're my steady ground. I feel safe with you."

Regina drew in a sharp breath. "But don't you have Daniel? He'll care well for you, I'm certain of it."

Emma was quiet for a moment as she regarded Regina with a soft look. It was clear that something was going on inside of her head. "Why did you say that Daniel and I are going to be very happy together?" she then asked. "What did you mean by that?"

Regina paused. "Uh," she licked her lips. "Because I think that you will be. I mean, with the baby and everything."

"Regina," Emma murmured, shaking her head softly as she reached forward to grab Regina's hand tightly inside of her own, "Daniel is not the father."

Gasping, Regina's mouth fell open as she stared at Emma. Daniel was not the father? But – how? She bit her lip. "But-" she paused, breath hitching. "Then who's the father?"

Emma shrugged, brushing it off quickly. "Some guy from back home. He was a creep, and he doesn't matter." She squeezed Regina's hand once more, and it felt like electricity surged through them at the touch. "What matters is you. Me – us, I guess."

"Us?"

"Hell yeah," Emma said, and it felt like Regina's heart skipped at beat by the sheer eagerness in her eyes. "I'm not with Daniel, Regina. I have no idea why you would even come close to that conclusion, because I'm in no way interested in him, and I just find it so cra-"

Regina cut her off, "You're not with Daniel? But I heard him consoling you!"

Emma squeezed her hand again, clutching it to her chest. "He was helping me about the baby! He was trying to get me to tell you, because he knows how much you mean to me, he knows how much I love you!"

With a gasp, Regina stared at Emma as silence fell around them in the stable. "You love me?" she questioned softly.

Chuckling softly, Emma said, "Yes. I do. Regina, I love you, I love you so much, and honestly it's freaking me the fuck out, because I cannot figure out if you feel the same!" She dropped her hand, taking a slight step back as she started pacing back and forth. "I mean, one moment I think you'd like to kiss me-"

"-Emma-"

"-and then the next I'm sure you don't. And I've been doubting myself-"

"-Emma-"

"-doubting myself so fucking much, because I don't want to lose you, and I just-"

"Emma!"

Emma stopped and turned to stare at her. "Yes?"

Regina couldn't bite back her smile. Elated, she grinned, "I'd like to kiss you."

"You would?" Emma looked at her in surprise, green eyes wide and a goofy smile coming out to play immediately.

Taking a step closer, this time Regina was the one to grab Emma's hands and tuck them inside her own. "I've been dreaming of nothing else," she whispered. Her thumb brushed gently over the side of Emma's wrist, tingles erupting everywhere they touched.

Emma's goofy smile turned into a soft one. "I've been so confused. I mean – I even went back and grabbed those berries because I wanted them to show me what I wanted, because I started doubting myself. It was so messed up, I mean. I didn't eat them, but-"

"Don't eat them," Regina interrupted her quickly, for the umpteenth time in the last ten minutes. "I'm sure you don't need them. If you're not with Daniel, I don't care about anything else." She stepped closer, tugging at Emma's hands. "I mean, I'm sure Mother will have a hissy fit because it is unbecoming for me to care for the stable girl, but Emma…" she paused, hand coming up to cup gently at Emma's cheek, "I care so much for you. I might even love you."

With a loud swallow, Emma leaned into her touch. "But what about the baby?"

Regina chuckled. "I'll love them just the same."

Emma gazed at her, warm eyes and foolish grin, and she stepped even closer – impossibly so – slightly taller than Regina, especially because Emma was wearing boots and Regina was barefooted. "You're some kind of wonderful," she whispered, and Regina practically felt the ghost of her lips before they even touched.

Anticipation rose in her throat, and it surely felt like her entire body was shaking, because Emma's lips pressed gently against hers. She'd never been kissed before, not romantically, and never on the lips, and as she tried it for the first time, she was quite certain that she'd like for Emma to kiss her for the rest of time. Dry lips moved against her own, and Regina breathed in through her nose, her body bending slightly forward to accommodate the baby growing inside of Emma. She gasped, breath hitching, and as Emma moved to pull back, Regina was not ready for her to do so.

She grabbed at Emma's hips, eager for the feeling to continue. "No-no-no-no-no," she mumbled, barely removing her lips from Emma's. Noses brushed, breaths mingled. It was incredible.

"Bossy," Emma chuckled, but she kissed her again, this time with more fervour.

Regina had no idea what she was doing, but she followed Emma's lead. Eyes closed, she felt Emma's hands travel up her back and towards the nape of her neck, fingers tangling in her loose hair, curly from the braids, not combed yet, for she had forgotten her brush in the room. Suddenly, she was not so cold anymore, yet goosebumps rose on her arms, and heat was spreading through her body. It moved from her core throughout her limbs, and as they kissed, their lips parted, Emma's tongue making a tentative entrance into her mouth.

Regina moaned, quite taken aback by the sudden change, and why had she and Emma never kissed before? She was quite certain she could get used to this very quickly. She thought about their disagreement in the room, about how Emma had suggested they build a wall between them on the bed, and suddenly Emma's hesitance the last few weeks made sense, her reluctance to get too close, because she had been pregnant. The baby had been creating this wall between them because Regina had not known and Emma had not been able to tell her so.

As Regina pulled back, their foreheads came to rest upon each other. She was slightly out of breath, but it felt like she was flying. Emma cared for her, Emma had just kissed her, and there was a little baby – Emma's little baby – coming sometime in the near future. Regina had always wanted to be a mother, for as long as she could remember, and what did it matter that she was not the one to birth the child. Emma would – it would be hers and Emma's, at least it could be. She could have that family that she had been jealous of Daniel for having.

"We need to get back to the room," Emma softly whispered, pulling Regina out of her train of thoughts about the future and a small cottage in the woods. "We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow, and you nobles need your beauty sleep."

Regina gasped, but she saw the playful glint in Emma's eyes. "Can we not just stay here? I do not want to attend this ball when I have to play nice with Prince Philip."

Emma stroked her hair. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured, and Regina's insides basically did a flip by the term of endearment. "But you need to. We don't want your mother to have any reason to get mad at you. She'll find out about my pregnancy soon enough, and I'm pretty sure I'll be kicked to the curb. No one needs a pregnant stable girl."

Pulling back, Regina saw the conflict in Emma's eyes, and all she could think about was the fact that Emma was not leaving their estate. She could never live with herself if Mother turned Emma away in this time of need. Besides – she wanted Emma with her. If Emma were to leave, how would they see each other again? How would they kiss each other and be together? She jutted out her chin. "You will not. Once I return home, I will talk to Daddy. He will help us, I know he will."

Doubt covered Emma's face. "You think?"

"I'm quite certain," Regina replied. "He already knows I'm… fond of you," she added. Shy, she ducked her head to avoid meeting Emma's gaze.

Warm fingers interlaced with her own. "Does he now?" Emma teased.

Regina gasped. "Yes," she said. "He will know not to send you away as that will break my heart. We'll figure it out, Emma. I promise you."

Emma still looked uncertain. Her pale face was marred with doubt, and her eyes conflicted. She looked tired, too, and they best be getting back to their rooms to get some much needed sleep. Regina squeezed her hand. "Do you trust me?" she whispered, locking their eyes.

"I trust you," Emma replied, and that was that.

—-

They were on the road again early the next morning. They had had a wonderful sleep in the bed together, cuddled closely in a tight embrace, and Regina had been allowed to inspect Emma's impressive belly before they blew out their candles. She had traced the red lines on her skin, touched her near the navel and received a tiny kick in response. That's totally normal, Emma had said, the bean must really like you. She had gasped in wonder and searched her skin for another kick.

They had also kissed some more before finally falling asleep, and Regina had almost forgotten the sparks that had erupted between them when Emma had tried to grab her wrist yesterday in the hallway outside their rooms. She'd forgotten them until this morning when she saw the scorched marks on Emma's fingertips, and even though Emma had assured her it was probably nothing, Regina could not stop thinking about it as they journeyed the rest of the way to Maldovia.

She had stashed Emma inside the carriage – much to the confusion of Mulan and Tamara, although Mulan did eye her knowingly when she joined Regina outside – and she steered the horses by herself while thinking more on those scorch marks. Mulan was a wonderful companion like that, because she was quiet next to her, barely saying anything. The younger girl had always been able to read body language very well, and she knew when words were not necessary. It was something Regina admired greatly about her.

The sparks scared her however – because there was only one reason she could come up with for them. It was a reason she wanted nothing to do with, something she loathed more than anything. Mother had magic, and it caused nothing but destruction, nothing but harm. Regina had learned to hate it a long time ago, and she'd never wished to get close to it. She had experienced it before, seen its marks, its damages, and she knew what it looked like.

It was magic. She was sure of it.

The question was just – how was it magic? Magic was occurred out of nothing, it usually stemmed from True Love or it often ran in families. But her mother had learned it by studying, which meant that Regina shouldn't have inherited it from her, and her parents were not True Loves – she was certain of this. While her father might love her mother like that, she was sure her mother had always loved another. She could not have been born with magic because of True Love, which meant that – at least according to her calculations – Emma was the one who had done the magic. That, however, did not make any sense either. Emma was not from the Enchanted Forest, so how could she have magic? She was certain that True Love did not work in the Land Without Magic, and Emma wouldn't have had time to study magic here.

Which made it all fall back on her again. Regina frowned and stared down at her hands that were clutched around the reins. They appeared entirely normal and not at all magical. She dropped the reins from her left hand and turned it over, staring at her blunt nails, her knuckled, the lines of her palm. They didn't even feel magical.

But then how could the magic have happened?

Emma's hands had been so soft as they combed through her hair, as they trailed down her arms and ghosted over her stomach. They were magical in an entirely different way; in the way they had made Regina feel so wanted and cared for. How Emma had made her feel so wanted and cared for.

Regina dropped her hand back to her lap and let out a deep sigh. Emma was truly something wonderful, and she could almost not believe that they were finally together. She wasn't really sure what all of that meant, all she knew was that once you had kissed like that you had to be together, right? No one shared a kiss like that and it meant nothing.

Plus – Emma had told her that she loves her.

Grinning goofily, all thoughts and concerns of magic were suddenly out of Regina's head as she was reminded of Emma's heartfelt words.

Mulan nudged her in the side with an elbow, effectively pulling her out of her own head. "What's got you suddenly grinning like that?"

With a flush, Regina bent her head. "Oh," she murmured, "it's nothing."

"Nothing?" Mulan asked with a blank expression. "I'd thought it might be Emma?"

Regina turned to her with a gasp, fingers tightening around the reins. "Emma?" she breathed, "Why would you think it might be Emma?"

Mulan stared at her with a raised eyebrow, an expression that read are you serious? and Regina whined softly, biting her lip to keep her foolish grin from making itself known. Mulan poked her in the thigh with a pointy finger. "Come on, Regina. Tamara and I are not stupid, you know? We can see how much you care for Emma."

Frowning, Regina said, "You can?"

"She obviously cares for you back," Mulan continued, as if that was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "Don't worry by the way, we won't tell a soul. Can you imagine if Mrs. Mills knew? Whew." Mulan shook her head to herself.

Fingers tightening even further around the reins, Regina felt panic rise in her throat at the mere thought of that. Gosh, if Mother knew – if Mother knew? Regina could not even begin to imagine the horror. Cora was ruthless – even in the way she handled her own daughter; Regina remembered every physical punishment vividly, had marks on her body – the most prominent one being the scar on her lip – and on her soul. And she knew – she knew! - without a doubt that her mother would stop at nothing to get at Emma if she found out. If she were cold enough to string her own daughter to a tree by its own branches, what wouldn't she do to the stable girl? And there was a baby inside of Emma to take into account too – Regina could not let anything happen to either of them. She was determined to keep the safe and not let them down.

She just was not certain that her mother would care at all for what she wanted.

"Regina," Mulan said, brushed a warm hand over Regina's knee. "Don't worry so much. You can count on us. We're just so happy for you and Emma, yeah? It'll all work out, I'm sure of it."

Regina was pretty sure it was not going to be that easy, but she nodded anyway and squinted he eyes against the late afternoon sun. She'd just have to have hope that it would, that they could somehow find a way to make it work. And if not, if her mother was showing signs of evil, she'd have to pack a satchel with Emma and run. To where, she wasn't sure. But she was certain that if she just had Emma, it would be fine regardless.

Mulan reached beneath her tunic at that, clearly reading the frown on Regina's correctly. She did not want to talk about this anymore as it was too worrying. Pulling out the map that Regina had gifted Emma months ago, Mulan smoothed it across her lap and changed the subject, "Let's see… According to this map, there's a clearing up ahead quite close to the town around Maldovia. We should be able to see it from there, and I believe it would be a good place for you and Emma to make the switch, so that no one sees you like this."

"That sounds like a plan," Regina replied, and she pulled at the reins, searching for the small fork in the road that she was certain would be there. She almost missed it too, if not for Mulan's quick reflexes, and as they came to a stop near the cliff's edge, Regina jumped off the carriage and stretched her legs and back. Pulling her arms above her head, she stared at the castle in the distance, towering above the village, she could clearly make out small figures milling about, carriages the size of coins moving towards the castle.

They were going to be there within the hour.

Arms sneaking around her waist, she felt the bump of Emma's stomach before she felt her warm breath against her neck. "Is that it?" Emma softly asked.

Regina leaned into her as well as possible, her own hands coming to rest upon Emma's. "Yes. That is Maldovia's Royal Castle. We will be there soon. I am not quite sure how it is going to be once we are in the presence of all the royals and nobles, but I promise I will try to make sure we get some time together." She tilted her head backwards, meeting Emma's glistening green eyes.

"I know," Emma whispered, and she pressed a light kiss to her lips – still such a new and exciting feeling, yet comforting all the same – before continuing, "but don't worry, okay? I don't want us to get caught, so you better please your mother. I'll be fine. I've got Mulan, and you've got Tamara. Most of the time anyway, yeah?"

They pulled apart slightly, glancing back at their friends – well, Regina's servants really, but mostly her friends, she thought – who were arguing quietly next to the carriage.

"We will be stopping by Tamara's house on the way. I have told her not to hurry too much, she will help me at the castle whenever she can," Regina replied. She knew her mother would get quite mad if she found out, but the smile of excitement on Tamara's face was all worth it. Her handmaiden needed time with her family and her ill father. Regina would figure it out; she didn't even want to go the ball to begin with.

"You're amazing," Emma whispered into her ear, before kissing her lips again.

Regina hummed into it, smiling softly as she pulled back. "We'll be fine, will we not?"

Emma pulled her closer, staring down at the castle with some trepidation. "As long as have you, I am quite certain that I will be," she whispered.

A/N: Let me know what you think please? Your comments keep me very motivated as it's always nice to know that someone is reading. Find me on twitter as stessafanfic – and I'll see you next Sunday for the ball!