"Tony! Could you please stop checking out my wife's ass!" Tim tried to keep the smirk out of his voice as he caught Tony checking Ziva out as she crawled carefully along the floor looking for spent shell casings in the thick carpet.

Tony sighed exasperated "Well could you please ask your WIFE not to wear those super tight pants and crawl around in front of me?"

Tim smiled again "I could try but she doesn't listen to me. I'm only married to her"

Ziva shot them a narrowed eyed look from the floor "Would you two please try and do some work? Otherwise I will never get to go home and bake barefoot in Tim's kitchen" Ziva smirked and stuck her head under the bed and missed the eye rolls from the two men standing behind her.

"Rather you than me Probie. Man, having Ziva as the Old Ball and Chain can't be much fun. It would be nag, nag, nag all the time. Put the toilet seat down, stop checking out those cute chicks, pick up those wet towels" Tony started dusting the artwork in front of the wall safe for prints.

"Ah well statistically married men do live longer than single men. It's supposed to be due to all the lavish care and attention they receive from their loving wives. Hey Ziva!" Tim suddenly hopped sideways from the bed as Ziva stabbed at his foot from under the bed. Tony burst out laughing as Tim looked indignantly at the large bed currently concealing his 'loving' wife.

"Now now you two love birds. Keep it clean this is supposed to be a crime scene you know."

"If you don't start working all three of you are going to be in the doghouse" Gibbs voice pierced the air from the next room over.

Tim sniffed dramatically "Given the amount of attention Jethro gets from Ziva I would be better off in his doghouse."

"Well he's like the best bits of the two of you combined. Smart, affectionate, strong, protective, hairy, playful and he runs faster than both of you. Why wouldn't I prefer his company to the two of you?"

"Um his breath smells like dog biscuits?" Tim looked thoughtful.

"Have you smelt Tony's breath after a long night on stake out?" Ziva grinning popped her head out from behind the bedside table.

"Good point" Tim nodded straight faced while making notes on the position of the smashed lampshade

"Hey I object to you guys telling me I have dog breath" Tony waived his purple fingerprint brush at them in emphasis, resulting in him sneezing from the fine powder.

"If I hear one more peep out of any of you!"

"So what I'm a chicken now too?"

"TONY!"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"So tonight's the night Probie!"

"I really don't think giving me a Bachelor's party is a good idea. Besides it's a bit late isn't it?"

"It's never too late Probie. Besides it's too important for you to miss out on. And I absolutely insist so you can't back out. This sort of thing is what Tony's do best! I will come pick you up after work. Try and wear something that doesn't say 'I am a big McDork' ok?"

Tim looked doubtful and concerned faced with Tony's boundless enthusiasm.

"So what exactly are we going to be doing?"

"Well first we will grab something to eat. Something greasy and suitable for a long night of drinking, then off to a bar to meet up with some other guys and get you nice and liquored up and then we head to the Red Windmill!"

"The Red Windmill?"

"Oh Geez McGee? Don't tell me you haven't heard of the Red Windmill? It's a strip club McGee, you know pole dancing, topless waitresses, lap dancing? If it makes you feel better think of it as a sort of cabaret show…. But with beautiful nude woman in it"

"Oh" Was all Tim could think of in response to that. He turned and pleaded with his eyes over his shoulder "Are you sure you're not going to come Boss? I would feel safer… err better if you came too?"

Gibbs laughed "Oh I think you two will be able to get up to enough mischief on your own."

"Oh"

Tony grinned. "Don't worry McGee I have done this countless times and I have never lost a groom yet. Ok there was that time we wrapped him naked to a light pole with cling wrap for a couple of hours and then when we came back thought he had escaped… but it just turned out we were so drunk we went back to the wrong light pole!"

"Oh"

Abby and Ziva watched as McGee became more concerned as Tony started expounding the glories of various Bachelor Party activities enthusiastically. Words like hair dye, police escort, handcuffs and fat biker chicks littered the scenic imagery.

"Now Tony you better make sure he comes back with his eyebrows attached. I'm a bit attached to his eyebrows. There's no point surprising him if he doesn't have any." Abby teased

"I'm a bit attached to my eyebrows" mumbled Tim as he cleared and tidied his desk ready for the morning, reluctant to leave and set in motion a train of events which seemed to inevitably lead to something he would regret.

Tony grinned and clapped McGee on the shoulder "Ok no more stalling. You are going to have fun tonight. Trust me"

Ziva leered at the two of them "Just make sure that he doesn't wake up with any new tattoos. I don't want to find DAVE tattooed onto McGee's bicep in the morning. Otherwise I will be holding you responsible Tony."

"Oh come on now Ziva? Don't you guys trust me to take good care of the probimeister here?"

The two woman looked at each other and laughed "No"

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

"I love Ziva! I LOVE ZIIIIVVVAAAAA" Tim burbled happily as he swayed down the pavement one arm swung over Tony shoulders.

"Yes yes and you love me and Gibbs and the moon and the trees and you definitely loved the blonde in the sparkly G-string McGee"

"Desiree"

"I cannot believe how much money you gave her McGee"

"It was for her collage fund hiccup she's going to collage to be a nucelarrrr fissshh istist"

"Yeah right"

"Anyway they were lots of little bills. Little tiny weeny notes" Tim pinched his thumb and forefinger together to show how small they were "otherwise I would never have got them into her teeny, tiny panties" Tim laughed hysterically and nearly threw himself out of Tony's arms.

"Woah there big fella" Tony retained his grip on McGee as he ambled wobbly down the pavement

"Tony!" Tim turned to Tony as if suddenly overcome with a marvelous idea. "We should go back! I'm sure we haven't seen all the girls dance yet and they might be sad that I missed out on one of them"

"Oh I'm sure you've seen enough McGee. Besides I don't think your going to be happy about the state of your bank balance in the morning as it is."

"Phewshhh Its just money"

"Yeah you say that now but I'm sure I'm going to hear about it later!"

Tim smiled blearily up at Tony and patted him affectionately on the head like he would with Jethro. "You're a good friend Tony"

"Thank you McGee" Tony wondered how someone so determined most of the early evening to not get into any trouble was the same person responsible for getting them kicked out of a strip club at 4.30 in the morning.

"Did I tell you I love Ziva?"

Tony sighed "Yes Tim you did."

"Oh good cause that was supposed to be a secret. Do you love her Tony?"

Tony blinked for a second. A secret?

"Yeah I care for her McGee. She's a good chick"

"Yes she is. You sheeeeee people think shes so tuff but underneff all that she is just trying to hide her hurts you see Tony? You sheee? She needz someone strong to watch after her hiccup and to make sure she looks after herself cause she puzzhes herself too hard. That could be you Tony. Yup. Could be you. So hurry up would u! Cause Zivva needs someone to love her. She doesn't tell me but I see her watching sometimes and I can tell she is lonely. She deservses to be loved Tony"

Tim shook his head violently and collapsed, sitting down in the gutter dragging Tony with him and wrapping his arm once again around his shoulders. Tony sat thoughtfully for a moment watching his friend smiling goofily up at the vast expanse of stars above them. There was a tiny tinge of light starting to peek over the horizon and every moment made it seem more morning than night.

"Tim? Do you love Abby?"

Tim smiled sadly "I will ALWAYS love Abby" He opened up his arms wide encompassing the entire world and fell back onto the pavement and lay there looking up at the sky. "But I'm not what she needz. Not really, but she loves me too do you see? And I'm different to who I was so maybe this time it could work?"

Tony considered this for a moment in the peaceful early morning city clatter of rubbish skips being emptied and delivery trucks reversing.

"Tim? Do you love Ziva?" Tony was quiet, trying to convey the seriousness of the question to his vastly inebriated friend.

Tim was silent for a moment as he considered this

"Yes"

Tony lay back on the cold pavement next to McGee as well, his feet still in the gutter and just let his thoughts roam for a moment.

"You know McGee I think its time I should get you home."

"Okey doky Tony. Can we go back to the Windmill again? I promised Ebony hiccup I would help her with her sppinzz. She's got the state pole dancing championchipzz coming up next week."

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Gibbs peacefully sipped at this first coffee of the day as he sat on his porch in the early morning just letting the beginning of the day wash over him. It was going to be a beautiful day bright and clear with a cloudless sky. The slightest wind was moving through the trees and the birds were already up and about.

With a smile Gibbs pulled his cell out of his pocket and began listening to the dozen messages that had been left on it during the night.

Just what had those knuckleheads got up too?

8.35pm
"Boss ah McGee here. Well you know it's McGee. Sorry. I just thought I would let you know that I'm going to slip off later and if Tony rings you tell him not to worry ok? I've just gone home."

9.40pm
"Ok I'm still here. Tony's trying hard and it would be rude to simply go so early. But it won't be a late night. Ok."

10.00pm
"McGee here umm well we're at this bar downtown and apparently the guys are getting ready to all head off to this Red Windmill place so I'm going to try and head off now. Just so you know. I will get a cab as Tony made me have a couple of drinks. Uhh Bye"

12.30am
"Shsshhhh he'll be asleep!" Gibbs could hear a woman laughing in the background above the loud music

12.45am
"Say hello!"
"Who is it?"
"Gibbzzzz"
"Is that your Dad?"
Gibb could hear McGee laughing "No my Bozz"
"Hello Mr Gibbs Sir?"
"Say who you are!"
"Umm I'm Ebony"
'She's a pole dancing champpppiooonnnn. Woops"

1.52am
"Gibbs!! Gibbs! If Tony calls Teri and Sherry, their twins by the way and I are running off too…Where?"
"Barbados!"
"No I've always wanted to go to Fiji"
"Ok ok Barbados and then Fiji. They don't even mind if I'm MARRIED cause in Fiji it doesn't matter"
Giggling and then the phone snapped shut

2.12am
"no Tony don't take the phone!"
"McGee stop calling people!"
"Okay Okay just give it back its expensive"

2.14am
"Hello Gibbs? Tony tried to take my phone but I got it back." McGee giggled

2.15am
"Did I tell you Tony tried to TAKE MY PHONE?"

3.04am
"Boss Tony here. Sorry but it seems that McGee has gone AWOL on me. If he phones you can you let me know where he is? I know I know. You would not believe how fast he is when he has the right sort of motivation."

3.25am
"Boss its ok I found McGee. Best if I not tell you the details but ah yeah. Hes ok just forget about this call actually."

4.20am
Gibbs heard the sounds of a scuffle and what sounded like kissing sounds
"McGee! Put her down! No she can't come with us. All three of them I'm sure have to go home and get some sleep. No McGee. Bad McGee No.."

Gibbs smiled and was glad. It sounded like the boys had a good time. Or well it sounded like McGee had a good time. He was glad they had the weekend to sleep it off. He finished his coffee, stretched and considered how wonderful it felt to be sober on such a glorious morning.

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It was midmorning when Tony's cell rang. He smiled when he checked the ID. McGee. Well here we go.

"Tony?'

"Yeah McGee" Tony tried to hide a smile as Tim whispered huskily into the phone

"Umm is there anything about last night I should know about?"

Tony considered their pavement conversation

"Do you remember much about last night McGee?"

"Not much"

"Then No not really"

"Oh Good……………Tony?"

"Yeah McGee?"

"I have a G-String in my pants pocket"

"Is it pink?"

"No. Blue."

"Really? Check your other pocket"

"Ahhh"

"Pink?"

"Pink" McGee confirmed

"Tony?"

"Yes McGee?"

"I have glitter in my hair"

Tony considered Tim's flashdance impression where a bucket of glitter was dumped on him as part of the finale.

"Probably best if you don't worry about that McGee."

"Oh"

There was a pause, a groan and then "Ok Tony. I think I'm going to go back to bed now. As long as you think every things ok."

Tony smiled sadly "Everything's fine Tim. Good night, sleep tight and I'll see you Monday."

"Tony?"

"Yes McGee?"

"Thanks"

Tony smiled "Don't mention it"

(

(Oh come on now people! You have to give me a review for that! Guy bonding, drunk McGee, caring Tony, smirking Gibbs. Just let me know your reading if you like. Precious)