Hey friends! I realize that I probably owe you guys a huge explanation for my eight month long absence, and all will be explained further down, but first I just wanted to let you all know that I am indeed alright, and I haven't lost hope for writing. I am well aware of how low my follow number and positive feedback is, and I'm very thankful for those of you who have taken the pleasure in my story and the time to leave sincere comments! They truly do warm my heart when I see how supportive all of you are about my writing and I wish I could thank each one of you for that! That, however, is not why I went into a hiatus without notice.
For those of you who have been frequently reading my chapters, first of all, I love you, and second of all, on the last entry, I left an Author's Note mentioning how I had recently gotten myself into some trouble with my parents. Well, in a matter of days after posting that, one last incident happened that was a bit out of my control that sent my parents off the deep end. It was the very beginning of summer vacation, and I felt a heavy weight on my heart after having to cry into my dad's arms that day and beg for forgiveness. From that day on, I vowed I would "fix" myself in a sort of personal rehab.
Having said this, this leads me into the reason why I left. That summer, the main and hardest thing I had to do was to isolate myself from the Hetalia fandom. I had to literally go from living and breathing it 24/7 to not even thinking about it at all, which is a ton more difficult than it sounds. My mind was refusing to let go of it, and I wanted to write the next chapter so badly, but I knew it would only make matters worse for myself. So, I forced myself to cut off all contact from it: Episodes on YouTube, the FanFictions that I was reading and writing, my Florence RP account on Facebook, and most importantly, all of my merchandise I had gathered. My parents never forced me to stop writing this or to throw out my t-shirts and buttons and other stuff. That was my own decision, and because I kept separating myself from it, the more trustworthy I became in their eyes, all the way to the point where I could tell them I was the Queen of England and they would trust it to be true. They couldn't be prouder of me, and I have to say that I can't either. They are so caring and love me beyond belief, and I am so lucky to have parents who would go through the heck I gave them just to bring me back to my old self.
Anyways, eventually, after about three to four weeks, I found myself thinking about Hetalia less and less until I'm at the point now where I don't even think of the characters for weeks! Along with not only forgetting this, I decided to make other improvements as well, such as my face clarity, pride in my appearance, grades, friends, and a lot of other things I'm forgetting. I went from a swearing, poor grade making little monster with a face full of pimples, greasy hair, and nothing but old t-shirts to wear to a clear skinned, straight A student who loves wearing the latest trends, doing her hair, and feeling overall smart and beautiful. I had met someone over the summer at a camp my friend, Nandita and I went to, and he completely changed the way my heart beats and why I look so nice today, so I owe it all to him, actually. My only regret with that is I wished he could see me now and that we are still in touch, because I really liked him a lot, and I still do.
I reunited with my best friend from the year before last who I had lost due to my behavior and acquainted myself with new friends; one who has become a really close friend of mine and the other who can always make me smile and blush when I need to. I really do miss my friends from last year and I still love them and wish I could hang out with them, but I'm just glad that all of us are happy and having a great year!
My only pure regret in all of this is not saying goodbye to you guys and just leaving like that. Alex was spending the night with me over our Christmas holidays, and she was showing me a few stories she had written on here. She then threw out there (not knowing that I had done the same) about how she couldn't stand writers who just abandoned their stories halfway through without any explanation to the followers. That was my moment of epiphany when I realized I had done the same thing to you guys, and for that I deeply apologize. I know you all didn't think much about it because it happens all the time, but tonight, it was just laying heavily on my heart to post this for you.
So, again, thank you to all who read this and especially those of you who follow this story. Now that I've kind of separated myself from the unhealthy obsession over this fandom, it might be safe to come back and start writing it again. Of course, not being as involved and caring more about the content of it, things will be a bit different, such as language, feelings, and probably Florence's whole demeanor. This might be something I'll have to think about, but I will let you guys know. However, I'm not out of the writing business for the meantime. In fact, I'm writing a completely separate story on my Quotev account: Miss Fabulous, for those of you who want to check it out. I hate to advertise my own stuff on here after leaving for eight months, but in case you guys wanted to see how my writing style has improved, there it is!
I've really missed every one of you and I hope none of you guys are upset with me! I've updated my profile a few hours ago to fit my current feelings and likes/dislikes, so if you are curious, you can take a glance at that too! Thanks to all! I love you!
-Endless England